by Rebecca Dash
Mrs. Brookes raised her hand to call their attention. “Are you sure she is really old enough for this decision?”
No one answered her.
“But, he is a duke,” she said, dejectedly.
“Do not worry, my dear,” said Mr. Brookes. “I will let him know you are available.”
***
They stood twenty paces away from each other. The Duke of Humbershire tightened his grip around the handle of his pistol. The trigger was hard on his finger. Lord Ashencrest stared grimly at his opponent. Adrenaline coursed through him. It was the same as every charge he lead in the war. It was familiar in a terrible way. He was ready to react. Both of their seconds stood a safe distance to the side, prepared for what was about to take place.
“I would consider your apology for the mistake you made,” said the duke.
“What mistake is that?”
“Insulting my fiancee with your advances.”
“That was no mistake, Your Grace. I did it quite intentionally.”
Humbershire gritted his teeth. “Insulting me with your blatant disregard.”
“It is no insult to show you the truth. Miss Brookes does not love you. She belongs by my side.”
“There will be nothing by your side, but the icy chill of death. The ground shall swallow you.”
The duke raised his pistol, aiming at his opponent’s heart. Ashencrest responded in kind. The gun was light in his hand. The trigger would pull easily. He thought of Emily. Whichever way the duel ended, she was worth the fight.
Their seconds held their breaths. “Blood shall stain this place,” whispered Lord Ruddyard.
Ashencrest felt the trigger’s slight resistance. The hammer would trip in a moment and the deed would be done. Then something made him stop. Humbershire’s hand trembled with fear. The man could hardly keep the weapon pointed anywhere of consequence unless his intention was to duel a passing pheasant. Ashencrest released the trigger. He waited for that sound.
A loud bang echoed through the woods when the duke fired his gun. The shot went wild, sending the lead ball into a tree. Humbershire let his gun drop to the ground. He took a step back and glanced around for a way out. He wanted to run, but forced himself not to. Honor kept him there. His legs felt weak as he stared down the barrel of a pistol aimed true.
Lord Ashencrest had a steady hand. He aimed at his opponent’s chest, then traveled down the body with the gun until a proper target had been found. The duke almost collapsed when the firearm went off. The bullet flew at him, shooting into the ground by his feet. Humbershire jumped from where he was standing.
The men stared at each other for long moments.
“You have your satisfaction, sir,” said Ashencrest.
He turned and walked away. The duke wanted to call after him. It had not been a satisfying endeavor at all. But he was afraid that if they continued, the outcome would be grim. He still had his honor. They both stood and fought. Right then, that was enough.
The duel was over.
Chapter 10
My Dear Duke of Humbershire,
I do not know how to write this letter. There is no easy way to express the things I must. I have always believed the best method of doing anything you are afraid to do is just to get it over with. The mind has a way of building up unpleasant tasks to be impossible if you let it. So I will write this at the beginning, for both our sakes.
We can never be together. I have decided not to marry you. Somehow, I feel that the news of my decision will not cause you too much distress. But please believe that it was not a decision I made lightly. I have spent many sleepless nights thinking about whether I am capable of being a good match for you and always came to the same conclusion. That despite our disagreements, we are similar. The need for love drives us both. I would not dream of trying to fill the role of your wife. That position has already been filled, and my best efforts would only be a shoddy imitation that you would never want if not for the promises you made.
You are a good man. An honorable man. You tried your best to keep your bargains, even though you were pushed to make them. I have learned that we are all flawed, perhaps especially myself. All you can ask of anyone is that they do the best they can in life. And you have given me no less. I will remember the kindness you have shown me for the rest of my days. I shall always be your comrade in love.
Affectionately yours,
Emily Brookes
***
She put on her sparkling, red gown and took a coach into London again. That city had changed her life. Mostly because he was there. And whether Lord Ashencrest really wanted her or not, he had already made her so much better for knowing him. Emily got out of the coach several blocks away from his home. She needed a walk to get her thoughts together. It seemed so easy in her mind. She would knock on the door, he would answer it, and she would throw her arms around him. That made sense to her. But the closer she got to his townhouse, the faster her heart beat. As she stood, looking at it, she breathed faster and faster until there was no way to control it at all anymore. Her eyes blurred. Emily felt like she was about to pass out. Then he would find her unconscious on the street as if she were completely foxed and had toppled over there. That couldn’t happen.
Emily ran a few paces, then slowed down to a fast walk. She went around the block three times and it was no better. Whenever it came to the moment of action, whenever she saw his door, there was nothing for her but to leave. The Thames was nearby. She would find her way to it, or throw herself in it. She really hadn’t decided yet.
Emily stood at the edge of the river, watching the huge sails on the boats drifting in. It was easier to think in places like that sometimes where there wasn’t anything else expected of her but to watch. Back home, she would go out into her garden where the birds and animals would distract and entertain her. She had done her best thinking and creative work while distracted. Her father always told her that it did not seem productive to mix distraction and thought. She hoped he would be wrong again as she leaned on the short, stone wall beside the river, and contemplated her next move.
“I wish I had a bird to talk to,” she whispered to the water. “Talking helps to figure things out, even if they never answer me. Maybe all this time I have secretly been talking to God. Not praying, exactly. Not asking for help. Just having a conversation.”
A seagull circled low over the water, then flapped its wings and landed on the stone wall nearby. Emily smiled, then looked up at the sky. “I did not expect to be so afraid, but nothing ever happens the way we imagine it will. My parents would not approve of this at all, calling on a single man. Perhaps that is in the back of my mind. But I think my real problem is that this is it. Until now, whenever I meet Lord Ashencrest, the attraction is strong and I have such a wonderful time in his company, then he is gone. Today, I have come to London to find out, for the first time, if he wants to stay. The answer terrifies me. It is one moment that will decide my life. Have I made the worst mistake imaginable? I suppose I am asking for something now. Just give me a sign.”
Emily glanced around. The seagull stared at her. The water lapped against the wall below. She gazed up into the clouds again. “Anything will do… Really…”
“Do you always talk to yourself?” came a voice.
She looked at the seagull in disbelief.
“Because that is the first sign you are hopelessly dicked in the nob, Miss Brookes.”
The bird wasn’t speaking. That familiar voice came from behind. Emily looked up at the sky and mouthed the words, “Thank you,” before she turned around. Lord Ashencrest stood there, grinning at her. He tipped his hat and then held it at his side. The sight of him took all her anxiety away.
“I am not crazy, sir. Some of the most intelligent people talk to themselves.”
“Do they do so while wearing a sparkling ball gown in the middle of the day?” he said.
“Only the most fashionable.”
“Your attire is very fashionable and ser
ved a purpose well. There was no way I could miss you.”
“This dress brought you to me then.”
“Several times now. You should wear it every day.”
“People will think I have no clothes.”
“People will think you’re beautiful.”
Emily blushed. “What are you doing here?”
“I frequently walk by the river. How about you? This is a long way from Cambridge. Are you here on another excursion with Humbershire? This will not feel like a proper reunion until Cuthbert appears.”
“You will be disappointed then. I have broken off my engagement with the duke. I am here only to find you.”
Lord Ashencrest wasn’t smiling anymore. She couldn’t read his face. He looked dazed more than anything else.
Emily couldn’t stand it. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“I want you to say more. Why are you here?”
“I told you.”
“Tell me again.”
“I wish to spend the rest of my life with you.” She said it desperately as if the pain of being without him was a physical thing chasing her down.
Lord Ashencrest was silent.
Emily felt numb. “Have the decency to send me away quickly, at least.”
“Send you away? I could never.”
“Then why won’t you speak?”
“It is the damnedest thing. I just got everything I ever wanted in a moment.”
He looked into her eyes with smoldering intensity. Emily longed for his touch.
“The best moment of my life,” he said.
Ashencrest closed the distance between them. Emily leapt into his arms. He kissed her. Shivers of pleasure went down her back. He caressed her face.
“They will definitely talk about this,” she said. “We are creating a scandal together.”
“Then let it be a good one, Miss Brookes.”
She kissed him suddenly. They stumbled back against the stone wall. His hat dropped in the water and they watched it float away.
“I keep losing hats around you,” he said.
“We are even. I keep losing my head.”
“My haberdasher will be very busy through the years.”
“Are we doing this for that long?”
“Marry me.”
She almost fainted.
Chapter 11
Mrs. Brookes badgered her husband relentlessly to go see the Duke of Humbershire to offer an apology on behalf of the entire family. She feared that the duke would come after them all for what happened. It was not impossible with the money and power at his disposal, but such cruelty had never crossed his mind. Mr. Brookes suspected as much, but did as his wife wanted. Anything to keep peace in the house. Especially if all that was required was to spend the day having drinks at Humbershire’s estate.
They sat in chairs facing the fireplace. The fire whipped into the air and crackled fiercely. There was a table between them. Mr. Brookes took a long sip of brandy, then put the glass back down. Humbershire held onto his, pensively swirling the liquor around then drinking again.
“If I had known she would treat me like a bachelor’s son I would not have bothered,” he said.
“That view of it seems a tad extreme.”
“Extreme? Miss Brookes left me for an earl, and a shabby one at that.”
“I am not here to justify the way in which my daughter handled your relationship. She could have been more forthcoming. But you left her long before you ever met. No one can compete with your wife’s memory.”
The duke stared into the fire. “She was a very agreeable woman. I do not know why I ever tried with anyone else.”
“Honor is not a simple thing.”
“The promises drove me. Now release me from them.”
“My daughter already has.”
“I want you to say the words.”
Mr. Brookes looked at him straight in the eye. “You have fulfilled your obligation to me. You have kept your promise. Your father would be proud.”
The duke nodded. “My father treated you like family. I look up to you still. I wish things could have been different with your daughter.”
“So do I. Sometimes the pieces fall where they will. It is out of our control.”
“I hope she finds the happiness she seeks.”
“I have always known you were a man with a kind heart, as much as you try to hide it. Your father was the same way.”
The duke sipped his brandy. The fire’s dance was mesmerizing on a quiet day.
“What is your next step?” said Mr. Brookes.
“I will most certainly finish this drink, then pour us both another. You need to keep up, sir.”
“I mean with your romances.”
“Ah, that… My heart still beats for my late wife, the absolute love of my life. I do not know how to move on.”
Mr. Brookes knew something about the pain and loss the duke was feeling. The same grief had broken his heart when his only son passed away on the day of his birth.
“There is only one way to ever move forward,” he said. “One step at a time.”
The duke’s eyes sparkled with delight. He raised his glass for a toast. “To first steps, Mr. Brookes.”
“To the steps after that. It only gets easier as you go, Humbershire.”
The glasses clinked together, and they drank.
Chapter 12
Six months had passed since Lord Ashencrest proposed to Emily. She was over the moon as she shouted her acceptance by the Thames. They tied the knot in a small church in London with family and friends in attendance. He was dashing in his uniform, a red jacket with gold epaulets. She wore a pretty, blue dress and a bonnet. It was perfect like one of the stories she’d read. Mrs. Brookes could hardly wait to tell everyone that her daughter was a countess. Mr. Brookes was pleased that everything turned out well in the end.
The newlyweds lived together in the Earl of Ashencrest’s townhouse, not far from the library where fate had drawn them to each other for a second time. Emily stood at the door of her husband’s study, lost in the mess of it. There were piles of books all over the floor, chairs and tables.
“Oh dear,” she said. “Where shall I put all these books of mine? There are so many that they give me a headache just looking at them.”
Hearing his wife’s voice brought so much joy to Ashencrest’s heart. At last, they were together. Really together so that no one could come between them ever again. “What is troubling you, my love?”
“Your study is so cluttered.”
“Don’t you mean, your study?”
“I would never commandeer the room from you.”
“Maybe not. But your books appear to be mounting an offensive of their own.”
“Do not exaggerate.”
“I am doing nothing of the sort, Lady Ashencrest. They are in line formation with rifles at the ready, marching for my desk.”
Emily smiled, fawning on him.
“Yes?” he said, uncertain.
“We are married!”
“I hope so, after all that.”
“And I cannot get over you calling me Lady Ashencrest.”
“I once told you that titles take a little getting used to. Now what are we going to do with these books?”
She sighed. “I have no idea where to put them.”
“There are dozens here.” He glanced at the piles, uneasily, then swallowed hard. “If not more. This must have cost a fortune to collect.”
“You are not helping. Not in the slightest.”
Lord Ashencrest came closer to his wife, wrapping his strong arms around her. They felt the heat of each other’s body as they relaxed, breathing as one, together through anything. He caressed her arm, giving her the comfort she so desperately desired. They lingered there, snuggling against the cold of winter. It was freezing outside.
“What if we do this together?” he said. “Just you and I. We can finish it today.”
Emily looked around again. “The
only thing I think you’ve finished today is a bottle of blue ruin.”
He laughed. “I am not a trifle disguised. And if I were, it certainly would not be on gin. Now, do you want to finish this project or not? We should sort your books out, first by the genre, and then by the author. If we put them onto shelves that way, everything will be easy to find. Unless we run out of shelves under this bombardment. Then you may be on your own.”
She smiled. “That is a good idea. You are a clever tactician, after all.”
“I managed to make it through the war somehow.”
He tickled her side, making her laugh loudly, as if nothing mattered anymore. Nothing else did. They were together.
The newlyweds worked well with each other, sorting through the piles while talking and laughing the time away. By the end of the day, most of the books were arranged on shelves that stretched from floor to ceiling. Emily couldn’t help but smile at how hard her husband tried to help her. She took his hand as she looked into his eyes.
“I do not know what I would do without you,” she said. “You have set me free from the loveless life I was supposed to have. Being here with you is better than a dream.”
“Then we are both sleeping. You are the one who set me free. I did not think a love like this existed anymore. The world seemed so dark when I got back from the war. You have taught me how to live again.”
“Let us sleep forever then.”
“Let us live forever, just like this.”
Unable to contain himself, he pulled his wife to him. With one hand on her back and the other at her side, he held her very close. Emily gave in to it all the way, feeling as light as a feather as she fell into his arms with one foot off the floor. He kissed her passionately. She squeezed his shoulder. A rush of pleasure filled her body. They stayed together in that room until well after the sun went down. The stars were bright through the window. The world as perfect as a red dress.
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