“Or what? For fuck’s sake, make up your mind. You either want me or you don’t. Whatever you decide, we’ll still be friends, but stop dicking me around. I can’t take it anymore.”
He stepped away from Ethan and removed Dex’s jacket to hand it over to him, followed by a piece of paper. “The church Collins goes to. He attends early-morning Mass every Saturday. Let me know what our next move is. I’m out of here. I need to go get a drink or get laid or something.”
Calvin was headed for the door when Ethan pushed him against the side of the van.
Get laid? Is that what you want? Ethan wanted to scream at his friend, to demand if that’s what Calvin really wanted. If that’s what Calvin wanted, what he needed, then….
“What the fuck, Ethan?”
Ethan grabbed Calvin by the waist, hoisted him up, and pushed him against the van’s wall, pinning him there with his body as he took hold of Calvin’s face and kissed him. After the briefest hesitation, Calvin threw his arms around Ethan’s neck and eagerly returned his kiss. It was hot and desperate. Once he started, Ethan couldn’t stop. The kiss at the hospital had caught him off guard. Now he was very much aware of what he was doing, and he was giving Calvin what he wanted.
Their movements grew frantic. Calvin threw his head back with a gasp for breath as Ethan moved his lips onto his partner’s neck. Damn, he tasted so amazing. Ethan could smell Bautista on him and let out a growl. No one’s scent should be on Calvin but Ethan’s.
“Oh God, Ethan.”
He dug his fingers into Ethan’s hair, and they rutted up against each other, their breaths growing heavy. Ethan let out a low feral growl, his hand going to Calvin’s crotch, where he massaged his partner before pulling down the zipper of Calvin’s jeans. Fuck, he was so hard right now. They both were.
“Please, Ethan. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this. I want you so bad.” Calvin moved his hand to Ethan’s fly and unzipped him.
Oh God. Ethan thrust into Calvin’s hand. He was so hard it was painful. Calvin’s soft groans and whispered pleas for him to make him come met Ethan’s ears, and he picked up his pace.
“Is this what you want?” Ethan whispered, receiving a breathy moan in response.
At that moment he wanted to give Calvin the world. Anything he wanted, Ethan would give. Ethan buried his face against Calvin’s neck, his strangled cry muffled by Calvin’s clothes as he came. Seconds later, Calvin followed, his whole body trembling in Ethan’s arms.
Gently, Ethan placed Calvin on his feet and tucked them away. He held Calvin in his arms and brushed his fingers down the side of Calvin’s face. A series of emotions flooded through him. He wished he was better at articulating what was in his heart. He cupped Calvin’s face, the look on his face heartbreaking.
“What happened?” Ethan asked quietly. For a moment he thought he’d messed up by asking after what had just happened between them, but he needed to know. “Please.”
Calvin pressed his lips together. He looked so uncertain. With a heavy sigh, he gave in. “Nothing happened. We made out. I slipped what Austen gave me into his drink and got the information I needed out of him. I waited for him to fall asleep before putting him to bed and getting out. Okay?”
Ethan stroked Calvin’s cheek with his thumb, his head cocked to one side as he patiently waited for Calvin to say whatever it was he obviously wanted to say.
“Come home with me?”
Ethan didn’t hesitate. He gave Calvin a nod and pulled him against him, squeezing him tight. Then he lifted his head and froze, his eyes meeting Dex’s and widening when realization set in. Holy. Shit.
Dex waved. “Hey. How’s it going?”
“Holy fuck!” Calvin spun around and stared at Dex. “Oh my God.” Calvin turned to Ethan, his face as red as Ethan’s felt. “Did we just….”
“Get off in front of one of your teammates?” Dex said, looking equally mortified by the whole thing. “Yep.”
Calvin gasped, his attention on Dex again. “Did you watch us?”
“Who do you think I am? Austen?” Dex seemed to consider his answer. “I watched a little.”
“Oh God.” Calvin turned and buried his face against Ethan’s chest, his voice muffled when he spoke. “We jacked each other off in front of Dex! Someone shoot me.”
As long as they shoot me too. Had Ethan been able to talk, he still would have no words.
“Hey, how do you think I feel? I’m never going to be able to listen to ZZ Top again without thinking of you two playing knuckle shuffle.”
Seriously? Where did Dex come up with these things?
“I can’t even look at you right now,” Calvin said, holding a hand out to cover Dex’s face as he headed for the back of the van with Ethan in tow. “Call me when we’re moving out. And I swear if you tell Ash I will snipe you.”
Dex gave them a salute. “Understood.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at Dex in warning and pointed a menacing finger at him. So help me, if you utter a word of this to anyone, you’re kitty chow.
“Yep, I get it. Lips are sealed.” Dex made like he was zipping his lips.
Maybe he should have thought things through better. Outside the truck, Calvin leaned against him for warmth, and Ethan smiled. He held him close. No, he didn’t regret what they’d done. He knew things had gotten even more complicated, but they’d find a way to work it out. They always did. He kissed the top of Calvin’s head.
“Let’s go home.”
Valentine’s Day special
ETHAN FINISHED his report and submitted it. One down, four to go. He glanced at his interface’s digital calendar. Oh no! How could he have forgotten? He shot to his feet so fast he gave Cal a start.
“Jesus, Ethan. What the hell?”
Cal’s big blue eyes were wide as he stared at Ethan, who gave him an apologetic smile. He really hadn’t meant to scare him. Usually Cal was good at not being surprised by Ethan’s movements, unless he was really absorbed in something. They’d known each other so long his best friend could sense when he was near.
Ethan pointed to the door before patting his belly. Cal wouldn’t be hungry yet. Not for another hour or two.
“Okay. Just give me a sec.”
Cal went to log off his interface when Ethan waved him off. He didn’t need Cal to come with him this time. In fact, he hoped Cal wouldn’t come along. His best friend looked puzzled. He checked his watch and relaxed.
“Ah, it’s ten o’clock. Dex’ll be heading to the canteen for his fourth cup of coffee.” Cal shook his head and turned his attention back to his screen. “That guy has a serious caffeine problem.”
Ethan smiled brightly. Dex did love his coffee. More than anyone Ethan had ever known. He was about to head out when Cal swiveled in his chair, his expression one of concern.
“You sure you don’t need me to join you? You know I don’t mind.”
Ethan did know, though he appreciated Cal saying so. Cal was good at little reminders. Sometimes Ethan would start to feel guilty about not being able to do something or needing help with his anxiety, but Cal assured him often that he did what he did because he wanted to and not because he felt obligated to, as Ethan feared might be the case, if not now then one day.
Ethan gave him a wink. He’d be okay. Dex would be there with him. He pointed again to the door, his brows raised in question.
“Nah, I’m good. Actually, can you see if Deb’s got any of that homemade trail mix? I know we’re usually out by now, but you know she sometimes stashes a few bags in the kitchen.”
Ethan gave him a thumbs-up and headed out. He checked his watch. Dex should be coming out of his and Sloane’s office any moment. Ethan decided to wait for him by reception. Cal had been surprised when Ethan had told him he’d talked to Dex. There were few people Ethan felt completely at ease with enough to talk to, especially Humans. Dex had quickly become a close friend and one of the few Ethan could talk to. It had surprised him too. Dex was… kind of strange, but i
“Hey, big guy.”
Dex’s voice brought Ethan out of his thoughts, and he smiled. He patted his belly.
“Well, what a coincidence, I could use a little sustenance myself. Where’s your bud?”
Ethan shook his head and put his hand on Dex’s shoulder.
“Of course I’ll keep you company.”
Dex motioned toward the hall that led to the elevator, and Ethan followed, though not before smiling and waving at Lisa, the receptionist. She was always nice to him. With a cheerful smile, she waved back.
Thankfully the elevator was empty. He would’ve had to wait if there were too many people. Crowded rooms were difficult enough. Crowded elevators were nearly impossible. Once the doors closed, he took a deep breath and toyed with the little silver abacus that hung from the key ring clipped to his belt loop. Cal had gotten it for him years ago. Moving the beads helped calm him. Once he was okay enough to talk, he leaned into Dex and spoke quietly.
“Can you ask Deb for her trail mix? It’s Cal’s favorite.”
Dex winked. “You got it.” He looked down at Ethan’s key ring. “Is that an abacus? I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid. Tony tried teaching Cael how to add using one, but he kept getting distracted by the colorful beads. Couldn’t stop swatting them.”
Ethan was about to reply when the door opened. With a frown, he followed Dex out. He couldn’t bring himself to answer. Not while he heard chatting coming from down the hall. As if sensing his thoughts, Dex gave his back a pat.
“Don’t worry about it. You can tell me all about it some other time. Want anything from the canteen?”
Ethan shook his head. He hesitated by the door, hearing the noise inside. Slowly, he took a peek. It wasn’t as busy as he expected.
“Want to keep watch for me?” Dex asked, his smile never faltering. He leaned into Ethan. “You can sound the alarm if you see Sloane. I’m only supposed to be getting coffee.” Dex chuckled. “I think he just says it in the hopes it might actually happen. We all know it won’t.”
Ethan laughed softly. He felt better about going in. He motioned inside and followed Dex, who gave his arm a pat.
“Don’t worry, big guy. I’m right here with you.”
Ethan nodded. He stood to one side out of the way as Dex ordered his coffee and the huge triple chocolate, white chocolate, raspberry lemon muffin Sloane wasn’t supposed to find out about. Ethan watched in awe as Dex teased and laughed with Deb. The guy was dangerous. He had charm and knew how to use it. Ethan wished he could talk to people as easily as Dex. He didn’t think twice. Of course sometimes that got Dex into trouble.
Dex said his good-byes before joining Ethan. He handed him a medium-sized brown paper bag. Puzzled, Ethan looked inside, his eyes widening when he saw all the bags of trail mix. He turned his stunned gaze on Dex, who simply shrugged.
“That should last Cal awhile.”
Ethan beamed at him. He followed Dex out of the canteen, and soon they were back in Unit Alpha. Ethan had to talk to Dex.
“You okay?” Dex asked.
Sort of. Ethan worried his bottom lip and tugged at Dex’s sleeve. He really needed to talk to him, but he didn’t know where. The more he thought about it, the more anxious he felt.
“Something on your mind?”
Ethan nodded.
“Okay. Do you want to talk about it?”
Again Ethan nodded.
“Sure.”
Dex smiled, and Ethan relaxed a little.
Dex went pensive. A few seconds later, he snapped his fingers. “How about one of the sleeper bays?”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at Dex. He knew what Dex did in there with Sloane. Dex laughed.
“A different sleeper bay.”
Ethan gave him a curt nod and led the way. He really didn’t need any images in his head. It was bad enough Dex had caught him and Cal…. Oh God. Ethan could feel his face burning up.
“Don’t,” Dex warned.
Ethan snuck a peek and saw Dex’s face was bright red.
Deciding to bury that memory deep, deep down—at least the part with Dex in it—Ethan walked into one of the empty bays. He closed the door behind Dex.
“All right, how can I help?” Dex set his coffee and unnaturally large muffin down on the desk beside the bed.
Ethan took a deep breath and released it slowly. He reminded himself this was Dex.
“No one can hear us in here. Believe me.”
Dex wriggled his eyebrows, a naughty gleam in his eye, and Ethan couldn’t help but laugh.
“Okay,” Ethan said quietly.
“Okay.” Dex smiled. He took a seat at the desk and leaned forward. He waited patiently, always smiling. A genuine smile that reached his blue eyes.
“I need your help,” Ethan said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He knew he looked pathetic, and it was silly to be anxious about something so small, but he was, because it was Cal, and anything that had to do with Cal was important. “This Saturday is Valentine’s Day.”
Dex nodded. “It is.”
“I don’t know what to do.” He paused and took another breath. “I want to make it special for Cal.” He felt his face growing warm, and he dropped his gaze to his fingers. “It’s our first one together, together.” They were still taking everything slow, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to make their first Valentine’s Day after their kiss a good one.
Dex blinked a few times before realization seemed to dawn on him. “You need help getting Calvin something for Valentine’s Day?”
“Not just a present. I want it to be special. But I don’t know what to do.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not very good with some things.”
Dex sat thoughtfully. “Well, Cal’s a pretty down to earth guy. From what I’ve gathered, he’s not really into all the fancy stuff.”
“No.” Dex was right about that. Cal had never had any interest in big fancy restaurants or spending money frivolously. They’d grown up with so little, their families struggling to pay bills. Both of them had learned to make do with what they had since they were kids. They’d both saved enough by the time they were in their third year at the THIRDS to get their parents out of the bad neighborhood they’d been living in. They’d even managed to find houses next to each other on the same block. Their moms had been in tears.
“Think about what Calvin loves the most,” Dex said. “You, his mom, and drawing.”
Ethan blushed. Dex was right.
Dex broke off a chunk of his muffin. “Has he mentioned Valentine’s Day?”
“He said we don’t have to make a big deal out of it.”
Dex seemed to consider Ethan’s words. “Was he looking at you when he said it?”
Hm. Now that Ethan thought about it… “No. But he was making dinner.”
“Did he shrug his right shoulder?”
Ethan eyed Dex. “How did you know?”
Dex stuffed the muffin boulder into his mouth, talking around it. “He shrugs his right shoulder when he’s feeling unsure about something.” Dex took a sip of his coffee and swallowed. “He also doesn’t look you in the eye. So if he wasn’t looking at you and he shrugged, it means he’s hoping it is a big deal.”
“No pressure,” Ethan muttered.
Dex chuckled. “You’re overthinking this, man. Calvin’s crazy about you, has been for some time. Sweep him off his feet. Be romantic. You guys are always together, but as best friends. Saturday night, don’t be his best friend. Be his lover.”
The thought made Ethan blush again. It was strange talking about Cal like that, but Dex was right. “Things have changed,” Ethan said, more to himself than Dex.
“Thank you,” Ethan said sincerely.
There was a knock on the door, and they both got to their feet. Dex stuffed the rest of the muffin into his mouth, sipped his coffee, and swallowed before answering the door. Sloane was on the other side, looking grumpy. Then again, Sloane looked grumpy a good deal of the time. Sloane looked over Dex’s shoulder to Ethan, who smiled and waved.
Dex held his hands up. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Sloane growled, moving past Dex to confront Ethan. “How could you?”
Ethan blinked at him. How could he what?
Sloane marched over to the desk and picked up a chocolate chip. He held it up to Ethan.
“You know I’m trying to get him to cut back on the sugar. He had one of those monster muffins again, didn’t he? The one with enough sugar to keep him up until next week.”
Ethan smiled apologetically. He’d forgotten about Sloane’s mission to get Dex to eat healthier. It wasn’t really working. Sloane turned to Dex, his arms folded over his chest. He arched an eyebrow at him.
“Well? And don’t drag poor Hobbs into this deception.”
“You want to talk about deception?” Dex poked Sloane in the shoulder. “What about when you swapped my gummy bears for sugar-free without telling me!”
Sloane rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to let that go, are you?”
“It was a betrayal of the worst kind!”
Ethan took a slow step to the side as the two continued to argue. It wouldn’t last. By the time Ethan reached the door, they were all over each other. Ethan closed the door quietly behind him. There went another sleeper bay he’d never be able to use. As he headed back to the office, he tried to think about what Dex said and what he could do to make this Valentine’s Day something special. Maybe he couldn’t make any big gestures, but he could show Cal how serious he was about moving their relationship forward. He smiled at the thought.
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