“I think . . .” Clare paused. Her blue eyes got a faraway look in them for a moment before she focused on me again. “I think that all of our time together was part of the problem. It blinded me, sort of, to the bad side of Riley. And the bad side was really bad. She hurt a lot of people—you, Khloe—I’m having a hard time letting that go.”
“I hope you’re not blaming yourself,” I said. “It’s easy to get so wrapped up in someone that you don’t see what’s really going on.”
Clare gave me a tiny smile. “Thanks. I know I didn’t do those things, but I was a bystander for a lot of them. It makes me guilty too. I have to accept some blame for that.”
I nodded. “Only if you let go of it at some point. Have you talked to Riley?”
Clare shifted, pressing her lips together. “No. It’s so crazy—I just talked to you about how many awful things Riley did, but this other part of me wants to hear from her. She hasn’t even tried to call, or text, or e-mail—nothing.”
“No matter what, she was still your best friend,” I said. “You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t miss her. Riley wasn’t all bad, and most of the time you two spent together, I’m betting, was good. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been her friend.”
Clare was quiet. For a long time. I waited, not pushing her to talk. Clare’s bottom lip wobbled, and she looked like she was fighting back tears. She kept her gaze on the marble floor.
I reached out, putting a hand on her forearm.
Seconds ticked by before Clare let out a big breath and met my eyes. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” I said. “I hope we get to be better friends.”
A real smile came over Clare’s face. “Me too.” The smile turned into a teasing grin. “Now I’m even more excited that Khloe recruited me for the ‘LT B-day Team.’”
“The what?”
“Oh, nothing. Just Lexa, Jill, me, you know, people, who are helping Khloe plan your birthday party. But I can’t say anything else.”
“You’re so mean!” I rolled my eyes, pretending to be serious. “If you want to become friends faster . . . you could tell me everything. It would be our secret.” I gave Clare my sweetest smile.
“Aw, Lauren Towers.” Clare shook her head. “I didn’t think you’d stoop so low.”
We both cracked up, turning as sneakers squeaked down the hallway.
“Omigod!” Khloe hurried up to us, papers almost trailing out of her bag and books stuffed with notes in her arms. “Mr. Davidson acted like I personally insulted him! Plus, he talked so long, he almost made us miss lunch. You guys were so sweet to wait for me.”
“Why was he upset?” Clare asked.
“We were both in class with you,” I said. “You didn’t do anything.”
Khloe frowned. “I turned in the homework, and I didn’t do any of the extra-credit work. Hello, it’s optional, and I didn’t have time. Mr. D was all, ‘You had the ability to answer these questions, Khloe. You have more potential than you’re utilizing.’”
Clare scrunched her lightly freckled nose. “Mr. D’s usually so chill. Sorry he freaked on you.”
I nodded. “He should have made those questions a requirement if he wanted them answered, then. Not an option.”
Khloe rolled her eyes and looked outside. “Geeze. Good-bye pretty blowout.”
“Clare has an umbrella, and she offered to share,” I said. “You guys stay dry under the My Little Ponies and I’ll make a run for it.”
“No way,” Khloe said. “I’m not letting you get soaked alone. We’ll both go together, and it’ll give me an excuse to try a couple of updos and braids for wet hair.”
“And it’s not like we’re witches and we’ll melt,” I said, giggling. “Let’s do it.”
Khloe smiled, linking her arm through mine.
“You guys have some invisible rain shield that I can’t see?”
I turned, pulling Khloe with me, and saw Drew.
“Obviously, linking arms gives us superpowers,” I said.
Drew had an amused smile on his face as he stopped in front of us. He looked supercute in a white T-shirt, dark wash jeans, and Chucks. A black messenger bag was slung across his chest.
“Well.” Drew leaned closer to us, whispering. “I wouldn’t want anyone to find out about your powers and expose you two. Laur, what if you come under my umbrella with me?” He produced a black one from his bag. “And we’ll all go to the caf together?”
“I think we shouldn’t risk revealing our powers,” Khloe said, mock seriously. She unlinked her arm from mine and stepped next to Clare. “Let’s go!”
We stepped outside. and Drew popped open his umbrella. We looked at each other, then, laughing, we dashed through the rain. My shoulder bumped against Drew’s as we dodged puddles. I wished the cafeteria was farther away. I didn’t care about my hair, or clothes, or how I looked from the rain. I got to be with Drew.
“I’m not sorry you forgot your umbrella,” Drew said, slowing as we approached the caf stairs. His bluer than blue eyes looked at me. I hated him—just a little!—for making me a tongue-tied, flustered mess.
I smiled—the words coming easily. “Me either.”
WHISPER’S NEW NAME: TROUBLEMAKER
“WISP!” I PUT WHISPER’S TACK DOWN ON her glossy wooden trunk outside of her stall. Whisper, my très belle gray mare, had her head hanging over the stall door. She reached her black muzzle with a pink-and-white snip toward me.
“Hi,” I said, kissing her satiny muzzle and rubbing her cheek. “I don’t know about your day, but mine was superlong. At least I’m here now, and I’m so excited for our lesson.”
Yesterday Mr. Conner had us practice dressage in the outdoor arena. Today, for Tuesday’s session, he’d sent an e-mail notifying us that the lesson would be indoors.
I picked up Whisper’s grooming kit and unlatched her stall door. She stepped forward, starting out of the stall.
“Hey, whoa!” I said, grabbing her halter. I tugged on it, putting pressure on her nose and halting her. “You’re not allowed to leave the stall without me. You know better.” My firm tone made Whisper lower her head.
I backed her up into her stall and shut the door behind us. “We’re staying inside now.” I balanced the tack box on the stall door and plucked one of Whisper’s cotton lead lines off the hook near her stall door.
I clipped the pink lead to her halter ring, tying her to an iron bar on the front of her stall. “You tried to make a break for it yesterday, too. Are you that eager to go work out?” I shook my head. I’d have to talk to Mike and Doug about Whisper’s new trick. I wanted to be sure the grooms who cared for her knew what she’d been trying. They’d be able to help me break Whisper of the bad habit or report back if she didn’t try it with them.
I loved grooming almost as much as I did riding. Grooming always felt intimate to me—like it connected me more with my horse. It was one-on-one time where I could talk to Whisper and have body contact with brushes and massages, and where neither of us had to be focused on a lesson or movement.
I rummaged through Whisper’s tack box—blue plastic with glitter—and found a rubber currycomb. I slid the purple oval-shaped brush onto my hand and stepped up to Whisper’s shoulder. It had been a few days since I’d curried her—she didn’t need it every day, since she was groomed daily. Starting at her poll, I moved the currycomb in small circles with light pressure. I went over her neck, shoulder, back, barrel, and rump, then switched sides.
“You’d think I never brushed you,” I told Whisper. Little clumps of gray hair filled the comb’s teeth and fell to the sawdust below my feet.
After I’d curried both sides, I switched to a dandy brush. I flicked the stiff-bristled brush over the same spots I’d curried. Neither the currycomb nor the dandy brush were meant for sensitive areas of a horse such as the face or legs.
I still remembered learning that information before my first riding lesson. When the groom—I couldn’t think of her name—had told me I could
hurt a horse by currying the face, I’d been terrified at the thought of hurting my horse. I’d barely touched the currycomb to the little bay I’d been assigned and only curried the barrel so I wouldn’t get anywhere near any sensitive spots. The groom, a college-aged girl, took about three or four sessions with me before she was able to convince me to curry more of the horse. I shook my head at the memory.
Whisper sighed, relaxed. She cocked her left back hoof, resting. “I’m glad you calmed down a little, missy,” I said. “I was starting to think someone had fed you sugar cubes while I’d been at class.”
I tossed the dandy brush into the tack box and grabbed the body brush. “This is your favorite one,” I said to my sleepy mare. “You better start waking up, ’cause I’m almost done. You can sleep after our lesson and your cooldown. Lucky!” I patted her. “I’ve got to go back to my room and do homework.”
Soon Whisper was groomed and tacked up. I led her out of the stall—she stayed behind me like she was supposed to and stopped while I put on my helmet. We walked down the aisle and stopped inside the entrance of the indoor arena.
I’d taken longer than usual to groom Whisper, and everyone was already warming up in the arena.
“Everyone” now meant Cole, Clare, Lexa, and Drew. No Riley. It had been strange not to have her at yesterday’s lesson. I wasn’t going to lie and say I missed her. The lesson had been different. Much less stressful.
I gathered the reins in my left hand, stuck my toe in the stirrup iron, and bounced lightly on my right foot. I lowered myself into the saddle and started to adjust my right stirrup. Whisper, without any signal from me, took off at a fast walk toward the other horses.
“Whoa.” I used the same low, firm tone as I had when she’d tried to leave her stall without me. I tugged once, sharply, on the reins. Whisper stopped, tossing her head and raising her muzzle into the air, trying to avoid the bit. I kept pressure on her mouth and sat deep in the saddle. We weren’t going anywhere until I told Whisper to move.
Everyone else kept their horses at the other end of the arena, seeing that I was working with Whisper.
I made her stand, watching the other horses move while I adjusted my stirrup. Then I pretended I needed to fix my other one. Whisper’s muscles rippled and she shifted her weight, ears pointed toward the other horses. Drew and Clare had their horses trotting in circles. Lexa had halted Honor and was stretching in the saddle. Cole and Valentino walked along the arena’s edge.
Now you can join your friends, I wanted to say to Whisper. A lot of my friends talked to their horses during lessons, but I didn’t. Not unless it was praise or a reprimand like I’d given Whisper earlier.
Instead of allowing Whisper to walk directly toward the other horses, I eased up on the reins and tightened my legs ever so slightly against her sides. I pulled the left rein, guiding Whisper into a turn away from the horses. I could feel her indecision beneath me about whether to fight me or go along with what I asked.
Whisper turned in the direction I asked, both of her ears tilted back at me, but she faced the other end of the arena and walked toward the rain. We weren’t joining the rest of the team until she changed her attitude. Hello, angry ears!
We stayed at the opposite end of the giant arena and started our warm-up. I guided Whisper through walking, trotting, circles, and finally, she had no resistance in her body. An ear flicked back to me, signaling that she was paying attention. The other ear pointed forward—happy.
I stroked her shoulder. “Good girl,” I said, wanting her to know she deserved praise. Instead of turning her away from the group as I had been when we reached a certain point, I let her continue to walk toward the other horses. Her walk got a notch faster, but Wisp stayed on her best behavior. She seemed to know that we’d end up at the other side of the arena, alone, if she acted up.
I guided her beside Drew and Polo. Drew seemed finished with his warm-up and was walking his gelding.
“Are you being a troublemaker?” Drew asked Whisper.
“She definitely was,” I said. “I think she’s on her best behavior now, though. Or at least, I hope she is.”
Drew smiled. He’d paired a navy T-shirt with black breeches and paddock boots. Dark blue was one of my favorite colors on him—it made his pale skin stand out.
“You did good work with her,” Drew said. “I wouldn’t have thought to keep Polo at the opposite end of the arena if he’d acted like that.”
His words made my heart beat a little faster. “Thanks. If I hadn’t, Whisper would have gotten her way. She was a bit of a handful before our lesson, so I had to be sure she got it that I’m in charge.”
“What happened before?” Drew asked.
We kept the horses walking at an easy pace around the perimeter of the arena. I told him about earlier, and Drew gave me some tips. I lost myself in conversation with him. I didn’t even know that I’d gone on rider autopilot, or that other people and horses were in the arena.
“Please bring your horses to the center!” Mr. Conner’s voice made me jump.
Drew had been telling me about a bad habit Polo had picked up last summer and how he’d broken it. I glanced at him to see if he’d noticed my reaction. If he had, he was being cool about it and not busting me.
“Talk more later?” I asked.
“Most definitely,” Drew said.
That made cliché butterflies flitter in my stomach. I walked Whisper to the center of the arena, smiling at Cole, Lex, and Clare. They did the same back, but I recognized a look on their faces. It was a you were totally absorbed in talking to Drew look.
We lined up in front of Mr. Conner and halted our horses. The butterflies over Drew flew away. All of my attention was on Whisper.
Mr. Conner was here now, and I didn’t want her moving one hoof wrong in front of him. I never wanted Mr. Conner to think Whisper and I weren’t ready to be on his intermediate team. The six-foot-something instructor with inky black cropped hair was tough on riders during lessons, but always had our best interest in mind. He’d been compassionate and understanding toward me when Whisper and I had started at Canterwood last month. It made me never want to disappoint him.
“Good afternoon, class,” Mr. Conner said. He had his usual clipboard and pen in hand. “I want to speak with you about something before we begin.”
I forced myself to keep my eyes on Mr. Conner and not look at Drew, on my left, or Clare to my right.
“Prior to yesterday’s class,” Mr. Conner began, “I spoke briefly about the departure of one of our teammates, Riley Edwards. I’m sure you, as well as I, are wishing Riley well at her new venture.”
I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t roll my eyes.
“Riley’s sudden departure from Canterwood has left us with the opportunity for a new rider to join the team,” Mr. Conner said, moving his dark-brown eyes from student to student. “At this time, I’ve decided to leave the seventh-grade intermediate team with five members.”
Yes! I glanced over at Drew, who met my eyes and smiled. I loved our new team.
“If I decide to consider an additional student, you will be informed,” Mr. Conner said. “For now, keeping you as a group of five has many advantages—one of which being that I will have more time for each individual. I look forward to working more closely with you and your horses.”
“Thank you, Mr. Conner,” Lexa said.
“Yes, thanks,” Cole said. The rest of us chimed in with our thanks.
Mr. Conner laughed. “Oh, I don’t know if I’d thank me just yet. You may very well wish there was another student back on the team after a few weeks of more individualized attention.”
Clare, Lexa, Drew, Cole, and I laughed too.
“All right, let’s begin,” Mr. Conner said. “This is going to be the first of a new type of lesson. Four of you will be working in pairs, and one of you will be training with me for the session. With an odd number of riders, I will work with a different student one-on-one whenever we have a lesson that requires
pairing.”
Ooh! So exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. Training with Mr. Conner—and only Mr. Conner—was huge. It was like a private lesson. It also made me a little nervous, because whenever it was my turn, all of his attention would be on Whisper and me. I definitely didn’t want to mess up even the tiniest bit.
“For the pairs, I’d like Clare and Lauren and Drew and Cole,” Mr. Conner said. “Lexa, you’ll be working with me.”
Clare and I smiled at each other. We’d never been partners.
“One of you will dismount, go grab a lunge line and lunge halter, and give your horse to Mike or Doug,” Mr. Conner explained. “They’re waiting for your horses and will be walking them along the side aisles until they are needed.”
“The person on the ground will instruct the rider through lunge exercises that I’ll call out,” Mr. Conner continued. “After one person has completed the set of exercises, you’ll switch roles. Though I’ll be working with Lexa, I’ll still be watching each pair.”
I sneaked a glance down at Lex. She saw me and gave me a yikes! face with wide eyes.
“Partner up and get one of your horses hooked up to a lunge line,” Mr. Conner instructed. “Then we’ll begin.”
“You can ride first if you want,” I said, twisting in the saddle to face Clare.
She nodded. “Sounds good. I’m glad we’re partners. It’s going to be fun.”
“Me too. And I’ll reserve comment on the ‘fun’ part until I hear what Mr. Conner’s going to make us do,” I said, lowering my voice so he couldn’t hear me.
Clare laughed. “Point.”
“Be right back!”
I dismounted and led Whisper out of the arena, with Cole and Valentino just behind us. I stopped outside the arena, waiting for him.
“Do you hate me for getting Drew?” Cole asked. He peeked at me from behind Valentino’s neck.
I smiled. “Nah. I’d be too distracted if we were partners. Plus, Clare and I are becoming better friends. I’m glad we’re working together.”
“That’s really great,” Cole said. His words radiated with sincerity. “Riley’s leaving is going to make things so much better for you and your friends—especially Khloe and Clare’s friendship.”
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