Maureen had first met Adam’s twin a couple of days ago at the ranch house and she’d liked the other woman immediately. She was as beautiful and vibrant as her mother. And she seemed extraordinarily close to her brother.
“I can’t imagine her giving it up. Some people study all their lives just to get the opportunity to do what she was doing.”
Adam nodded. “That’s true. But she hasn’t really given up her music. Now she can play when she wants to and for whom she wants to. And believe me, my sister is much happier now that she’s left that life behind and married Miguel.”
“Has she always been interested in horses?”
Adam laughed. “Obsessed is more the word. She’s just like Mom. It’s something that’s in her blood and she’s damn good at it. I think that’s one reason why she was never truly happy while she was touring with her music career. She missed the ranch and the horses and the simpleness of it all.”
Maureen had often wondered what her life might be like if she didn’t work as a geologist. Would she be happier if she simplified her life with a regular nine-to-five job? She somehow doubted it. No one was at home waiting for her, wanting her. And as for anyone needing her, she supposed no one ever had. Except her daughter. And when the baby had needed her the most, she’d failed her. But she didn’t want to think of that now. She tried not ever to think of it
“Your sister is a lucky woman,” Maureen said. “But even more brave, I think.”
“Why so?” Adam asked curiously.
“Because she followed her heart instead of trudging along the expected course.”
He smiled faintly. “And you think that takes a lot of courage?”
“I’m sure of it.”
The warm rays of the sinking sun caught in her long hair and bathed her skin with a golden glow. As Adam’s gaze lingered on the soft profile of her features, then dipped to the generous thrust of her breasts he knew he’d never seen a more sensual woman. She’d been made to love a man and have his children. So why was she alone? he wondered. And why could he not bear to picture any man touching her except himself?
For the next few minutes they rode in silence. Little by little, the trail narrowed and began to climb through a stand of ponderosa pine.
When it finally became impossible to ride side by side, Maureen. was content to let Adam take the lead and allow Leo to follow at a slower pace. Eventually, the forest thickened. Spruce and aspen became interspersed among the tall pines. Chipmunks scurried across the forest floor and more than once deer bolted from the shadows, then bounded gracefully out of sight.
Maureen drank in the quiet beauty of it all and thought how wonderful it was that the Sanderses owned land that would be handed down through generations and never be marred by the progress of civilization.
When the rocky path they were traveling finally became almost too steep to go on, it curved around the side of the mountain and Maureen gasped at the sudden splendor spreading out below her.
A few feet ahead, a break in the cliff widened the trail. Adam pulled his chestnut to a halt and Maureen stopped Leo directly behind him. He twisted in his saddle and smiled back at her. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Breathtaking,” she agreed.
“Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”
By now, stiffness was creeping into Maureen’s bottom half. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to get off Leo, much less get back on him.
“I don’t know if that would be a very good idea,” she said as she tried to draw her feet out of the stirrups. “I thought I was in fair shape until I got on this horse.”
“Riding takes muscles you didn’t know you had,” he told her. “Just wait a minute, and I’ll help you down.”
She remained where she was while he dismounted and tethered the chestnut to a nearby juniper bush. When he returned to her and Leo, she didn’t have much choice but to lift her right leg over the saddle horn and slide into his outstretched arms.
Maureen anchored her hands on his shoulders and he gripped her rib cage as he took the brunt of her weight, then set her gently down on the ground.
“How’s the legs?” he asked, his hands lingering on the curve of her waist.
“Like two pieces of rubber,” she admitted with a shaky laugh. “But I’ll manage.”
Once Adam was sure she could stand on her own, he took Leo by the reins and tethered him to the trunk of a spindly pinon pine, then came back to her. “Come on,” he said, “let’s walk over to the edge of the cliff and take a look. The exercise will help you get your feet back under you.”
She nodded, and with his hand plastered to the small of her back, they slowly made their way over the rocky, uneven ground. If he was using the wobbly condition of her legs for a reason to touch her, Maureen certainly wasn’t going to make an issue of it. This evening spent with him had been too nice to spoil it for any reason. And she couldn’t deny, even to herself, how good the support of his hand felt against her.
Several feet from the edge of the cliff, Adam warned, “This is far enough. The soil is loamy and crumbles easily. If we toppled over the side of the mountain, it would be days before anyone found us. And by then, the coyotes and buzzards would have picked our bones clean.”
She cast him a sardonic glance. “Now you’ve ruined the beauty of the place.”
Chuckling, he motioned for her to look at the view rather than at him. “You can almost see all the way to Alamogordo from here.”
“I didn’t realize the desert was so near,” she said. “I thought more mountains would be behind this one.”
“You might call that land down there desert. But I call it good grazing.”
Her expression turned thoughtful. “You know, I believe you’re just as much a rancher as you are an oilman.”
Adam glanced down at her with mild surprise. “I never thought about it much. But you might be right I wouldn’t like my life without land or cows or horses in it.”
She smiled faintly. “Then you’re as unique as a scientist with wit. Because all the men I’ve ever worked with in the oil and gas business are definitely one-dimensional. Their whole world revolves around getting gas or oil from the ground as fast as they can.”
“Hmm. I have to admit you’re right. Most of them don’t have outside interests. As for me, I like the business and I want to do well in it. But I guess I have too much of my father in me to be just an oilman.”
She glanced curiously up at him. “What do you mean? Your father is an oilman.”
Smiling, he shook his head, then with a nudge against her back, guided her over to a flat boulder. Maureen took a seat on one end and waited for him to join her.
After he’d stretched his long legs out in front of him and lifted his hat to run a hand over his hair, he said, “I guess this will probably surprise you, though it’s not really a secret Wyatt is not my real father.”
Maureen’s brows shot up, but Adam tugged the brim of his hat back down on his forehead before she could say anything.
“What I mean,” Adam went on, “is that he’s not the man who sired me. Wyatt is actually my uncle and Chloe my half sister.”
She let out a soft gasp. “Your half sister? And uncle? I don’t understand!”
He shrugged. “I didn’t expect you to. It’s all rather complicated.”
Maureen gently placed her hand on his thigh. “If you’d rather not tell me, I’ll understand.”
He gave her a sidelong glance and could see in her eyes that she did understand and wouldn’t think less of him if he changed the subject completely. Just knowing she felt that way drew him to her in a way he’d never expected.
“It’s all right I don’t mind talking about it. I’m certainly not ashamed of my heritage. In fact, my birth father is somewhat of a legend in this area. He bought this land more than sixty years ago and built the Bar M virtually by himself. From what my mom and aunts, or maybe I should say my half sisters tell me, Tomas Murdock was a hardworking, boisterous ma
n who liked to drink and gamble. He loved horses even more. On or off the racetrack. When his wife’s health failed, he became involved with another woman, Wyatt’s sister, Belinda. The two of them had a secret affair and as a result Anna and I were born.”
“So what happened to your birth parents?” Maureen had to ask. “Where are they now?”
His features were suddenly clouded with regret. “I’m sorry to say they’re both dead. Shortly after Anna and I were born, Tomas suffered a fatal heart attack. He was only in his mid-fifties, but from what I’ve been told, they’d been hard-lived years.”
Fascinated, Maureen urged him to go on. “And Belinda? She must have been much younger if she was able to bear children.”
Adam nodded. “Close to twenty-five years younger. But she had emotional problems, and they were compounded when she believed Tomas had deserted her and the two babies.”
“Had he deserted her and you children?” Maureen asked, surprised at how much she truly wanted to know about this man.
“We don’t believe so. My sisters discovered many canceled checks he’d been sending to Belinda. She was living in Las Cruces at the time, and we suppose when the checks and Tomas quit coming to her, she snapped. She left Anna and me in a laundry basket on the front porch of the ranch house.”
Maureen’s head swung slowly from side to side as she tried to digest all that he’d told her. It was all so difficult to imagine that this strong, confident, sexy man beside her had come into the world under such circumstances. She’d figured his life had been charmed from the moment he’d drawn his first breath.
“Oh, my, Adam. I can’t...I just find this so hard to believe.”
“Well, believe it. She did. Justine found us, and for a good while, none of them even knew we were Murdocks, too.”
Incredulous, Maureen stared at him. “You mean Belinda disappeared? She didn’t let anyone know she’d left you behind?”
He shook his head. “No. It’s a long story, but eventually she was found and placed in a mental facility. She died there shortly afterward.”
“So Chloe and Wyatt stepped in as your parents,” she said, stating the obvious.
“Because of us twins, they met and fell in love. After they married, they adopted us as their own children. But they never tried to keep our true heritage a secret. In fact, Dad has a diary of Belinda’s, which was written during the time she was having the affair with Tomas. Perhaps you’d like to read it sometime. The entries aren’t always happy. But it’s interesting. She was an intelligent woman. Until the love affair broke her heart and sapped her spirit. But that oftentimes happens when one person cares too much for another.”
Maureen wondered if he was speaking from personal experience. And she wanted to ask him if he’d ever cared about a woman too much for his own good, but she couldn’t bring herself to utter the question. Somehow she didn’t want to think he’d ever truly given his heart to any female.
“So you think that’s what happened to your mother? She cared too much for your father?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and she studied his profile as he gazed out at the endless plain stretching below them. He was not the man she’d first thought him to be. He was more. Much more.
The faint smile on his face as he turned to look at her was both wry and sad. “I’m certain of it.”
So that was how Adam thought of love, Maureen concluded. He believed it was something that ruined people, that it had killed his mother and perhaps even his father.
For years now, Maureen had held the same notion. Caring about someone too much could only lead to destruction. She’d chiseled the wisdom into the stone that used to be her heart, and for all this time, even in her loneliest of moments, she’d not forgotten it
But now as she looked at him, she thought how sad it was that he didn’t want to give his heart. Maureen had a right to feel jaded and ruined. Adam didn’t. Or did he? she wondered.
“Is that why you’ve never married? Because of what happened all those years ago to your birth parents?” she asked before she could stop herself.
The moment the question was out, she could see a door slam shut inside his dark green eyes.
“Why I’ve never married is none of your business.”
His words stung even though she told herself they shouldn’t. “I told you about my divorce,” she reminded him.
“Look, Maureen, I have my own private demons just like you. And they’re not something I want to share with anyone.”
Not even with her. He’d made that perfectly clear, and she had to let it go at that, Maureen told herself. She was supposed to be his friend, nothing more. And as his friend, she had to respect his privacy.
“Sure. I understand,” she murmured, then forced herself to smile up at him.
Something flickered in his eyes and he looked away from her and out toward the distant horizon. “The sun has already set,” he said gruffly. “We’d better start back to the ranch before it gets too dark.”
He rose to his feet and reached his hand down for her. She took it, then he tugged her gently up beside him. Tilting her head back, she looked up at him, and for a moment the longing to kiss him was so strong she could scarcely breathe.
“Thank you, Adam.”
His eyelids lowered as his gaze lingered on the moist curve of her lips. “For what?”
She swallowed and swiftly glanced down at the toes of his boots. “For this ride. And for telling me the story about your parents.”
He grimaced. “I don’t know why I did. I’m sure you found it boring.”
She forced herself to laugh, then pulling her hand free of his, she started back to the horses. “I’m the one who’s as boring as vanilla pudding,” she called over her shoulder.
Adam could have told her his favorite flavor was vanilla. He could have gone after her and took pleasure in tasting the sweetness of her lips. But he’d made a pact with her to be just friends. And he couldn’t risk jeopardizing the fragile truce they’d struck between them. This past week, he’d learned that having her company like this was much better than not having her company at all.
The next morning, Maureen was surprised when Adam invited her to ride into work with him rather than drive her own vehicle.
A week ago, she would have instantly found an excuse not to accept his offer of a lift. But after last night, she was beginning to believe he really did want their relationship to be friendly. And since they were both going and returning to the same place, Maureen decided taking one vehicle would be the practical thing to do.
The twenty-mile trip into town passed quickly as they discussed the day’s schedule ahead of them. Once there, Adam stopped at a bakery long enough to let Maureen. pick up a couple of sweet rolls, then she went to work in the lab and he in his office. She didn’t see him again until quitting time that evening when he came back to the lab to fetch her.
“Ready to go home?” he called to her.
Maureen looked up from the microscope and glanced over her shoulder to see him standing in the doorway. He was dressed more like a businessman today, in dark trousers and a white shirt. The clothes gave him a suave appearance that no doubt turned the heads of all the secretaries and VIPs who met with him. But as for Maureen, she preferred to think of him as he’d been last night—in old boots and jeans, the battered gray hat dipped low on his forehead and a shadow of beard on his face.
Slipping off her glasses, she said, “Just give me a minute to put these tests away.”
“I’m in no hurry,” he said, then walked over to where she was stashing away several tubes of soil and sludge. “In fact, I hope you’re not in a big rush to get home. I’d like to drop by my place to see how the carpenters are faring.”
She hadn’t expected him to be making a detour this evening. But after last night she could hardly suspect his motives. If he’d really wanted to try to take up where they left off at the swimming pool, he’d had plenty of opportunities. In fact, the more Maureen thought abou
t it, the more confused she became.
From the moment she arrived to work at Sanders, she’d told herself she couldn’t let anything happen between her and Adam. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t allow anything to happen. But still, she had to admit it had been deflating, even disappointing, last night when he hadn’t kissed her. And the whole situation was making her wonder if she was losing her mind.
“That’s fine with me,” she told him. “I don’t have any errands to run.”
Adam helped her put away the last of the material she’d been using, then the two of them left the building through a back exit. Outside, the evening sun was still hot and it burned through Maureen’s thin blouse as they walked to Adam’s truck.
“I still haven’t gotten used to the climate here,” she admitted to him. “During the day I nearly keel over from the heat and at night I’m shivering. Does it never change?”
“In the winter. It stays cold all the time. After the years you’ve spent living in Houston, all the snow might have you deciding you don’t want to live here after all.”
Was that what he was hoping for? she wondered, then shook away the suspicious thought. It didn’t matter whether Adam wanted her here or not. She’d come to Ruidoso and Sanders to make a new life for herself. Adam Murdock Sanders wasn’t going to be a part of it.
“I’m not about to let a little snow run me off,” she assured him. “I’m not that soft.”
Adam’s gaze drifted over the length of her. Normally, she wore jeans and hiking boots to work, but today she was dressed in fluttery, wide-legged slacks and a sleeveless blouse that was so sheer he could see the faint outline of lacy lingerie beneath it. The image had haunted him all day. And he wondered how he could keep on pretending he didn’t want her.
The trip to Adam’s place took thirty minutes over a mountainous dirt road. Maureen hadn’t expected him to live in such a secluded place and was even more surprised when they drove up to a modest ranch-style house built of chinked logs. Knowing his wealth, she’d expected him to live in something a little showier.
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