by Nancy Barone
‘Ara… what is that you said?’ His voice was still pasty with sleep and I could smell “bed” all over him.
Despite myself, I giggled. ‘Arancini. Basically Sicilian rice balls stuffed with minced meat and all kinds of delicious things.’ I was getting pretty creative and was working on ways to introduce Nutella into the scheme. I know, it sounds sick, but trust me, it’s not. Something about the sweet and savoury works.
‘So how is it that you are always on the go?’ he asked as he reached for a couple of mugs above the sink.
‘I don’t know,’ I said as I chopped up my onions for the minced meat. ‘With kids, you have to be, don’t you?’
‘Tell me about it. Here’s your coffee.’
‘Thanks.’
He cocked his head and slid me an amused look as he poured a cup for himself.
‘What?’ I said as I scooped up the onions for the sauce, threw them into the sizzling olive oil, gave them a stir and rinsed my hands under the sink.
He passed me the tea towel and I smiled my thanks, glancing at him briefly. This felt so strange – almost like watching one of his movies (I’d caught up with his career in the few weeks before his arrival) where he and his lady had just come downstairs after a night in the sack.
I stopped as he was staring at me. ‘What? What is it?’
‘Dunno. For a minute you reminded me of… domestic bliss. My mother used to get up very early in the morning to cook.’ He reached out a hand and squeezed my forearm, letting out a hearty laugh. ‘Not that you remind me of her, God forbid!’
‘No, God forbid,’ I echoed.
‘I miss her so much.’
‘When… did you lose her?’
Again he laughed. ‘Mary O’Hara is very much alive but would die laughing if she heard you…’
‘Oh. Sorry.’
‘Your face, Nina! It’s… awh… incredibly expressive. I wish you could see it.’ He lowered his head. ‘I wish Jess could see it – see all of you. You are all so lovely. A true family. She loves you guys so much.’
I stopped and passed him a plate of cookies. ‘We love her too – how could we not?’ He stuffed one into his mouth and ran a hand through his thick hair, and suddenly, and completely out of the blue, I wanted to follow his hand with my own.
He shrugged. ‘I’m a worrier, in truth. I have nightmares about Jessica being home alone, and the house catching fire. She wanders through the house, looking for an exit and in my dream I know she’s not going to make it…’
I nodded, my heart suddenly pounding for no reason at all. What the heck was happening to me? Was I, in the end, and at my age, becoming a fan girl? I shook my head clear to follow our conversation. ‘I have dreams like that about Ben, only he’s down on the beach and the tide is rushing in and he can’t get to higher ground quick enough.’
We stopped, a sudden silence invading the room. A silence where all our communal fears gathered and nestled within the deepest part of our hearts. He looked at me, and we both sensed something had shifted, somewhere in the universe.
23
La La Land
That afternoon Luke and I decided to go for a walk over to Mullion Cove. Ben was at Jack’s, and the girls were finally at Chanel’s. I was glad that Chloe had decided she wasn’t too high and mighty to share her celebrity friend.
‘This is such an inspiring landscape,’ Luke said.
I nodded. ‘Yes, some of my best work was born while dreaming of these cliffs. As a matter of fact, most of the classics that were set in Cornwall were because the author had spent some time here and couldn’t bear to leave. I couldn’t bear to leave it myself, even if—’
‘Nina?’
‘What?’
‘Shush a minute. I’m inspired.’
‘Oh. Did you just have a brainstorm? Good, because we need one like—’
And then he took me by the shoulders. ‘Are you going to shut up a minute and let me kiss you or not?’
I stared at him. ‘You want to kiss me…?’
‘Ah, Nina, you don’t know how much…’
I supposed asking him why that was would’ve ruined the moment, so I shut up and watched him watch me, his eyes twinkling, his lips nearing mine, and my heart began to beat a soft tattoo that I’d long forgotten.
‘Brace yourself,’ he murmured against my mouth, his voice so low I could barely hear him. But I felt his words inside me, like a vibration. ‘I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.’
And then his lips touched mine in the tenderest of kisses. He was so sexy, yet delicate.
‘How was that?’ I asked and he rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t know yet. Give me another one.’
I closed my eyes and let him kiss me again. It felt exactly like the naughty moment with Kevin Nealson in third grade, when he asked to see my knickers. Only more delicious. I hadn’t felt like this in so many years that it was almost new to me all over again. The awakening, the shivers, the excitement. Could I bear it when, very probably, a disappointment would ensue? Was I strong enough to let myself go again… and suffer the consequences if it didn’t go well? How could it go well? I was a single mum from a Cornish village the size of a big family, and he was the Hollywood dream personified. Where was the common ground?
‘Nina – you drive me crazy…’ he murmured against my ear.
‘So do you,’ was all I could say.
‘I think I’m falling in love with you, you know?’
I giggled. I didn’t mean to, but it just happened.
‘Is it so difficult to believe that love can blossom out of an ordinary encounter?’
‘Love? Luke, we’ve only just met…’
‘So?’
‘But… you’re a Hollywood star. I’m a writer from Cornwall with writer’s block, to boot.’
‘Nina, I know you weren’t exactly crazy about me when we met. But I’m hoping that you may have grown fond of me lately?’
‘You know that I am not totally indifferent to your charm.’
‘That’s a good start,’ he whispered, his lips barely touching my jawline now, sending shivers up into my hair. Okay, maybe I had underestimated the situation. Maybe I would have to learn to rein in my emotions.
‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘Nothing. I just wasn’t, well, prepared for this.’
At that, he threw his head back and laughed. ‘Prepared? Oh, Nina, you are a character and a half. You don’t prepare for these things. You just let them happen.’
‘I’m not… used to this stuff anymore,’ I confessed. ‘I don’t know how to act.’
‘Don’t act. Just close your eyes and tell me what you are feeling.’
I swallowed and nodded. ‘Excitement.’
‘Me, too.’
‘And… fear.’
‘Of me?’
‘No.’
‘Of what, then?’
‘Of myself. Of how I’ll feel when this all ends.’
‘It doesn’t have to end, Nina. I’m very fond of you. This has never – and I mean never – happened to me before.’
‘No?’
‘I meet a thousand people a day. But none of them has ever had the effect that you have on me, Nina…’
I nodded, because I understood. ‘I too, feel overwhelmed.’
I felt him smile. ‘Me, too, sweetheart.’
As you can imagine, I spent the rest of the drive home in a complete daze. Had that really happened, or had I just dreamed up a scene for my next book? He said he loved me. As much as I wished it were true, I couldn’t believe that love happened so quickly. In my mind, it took time, kindness, courage and years to blossom. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. I was past that, at my age, and with what had happened to me.
If the father of my children had deceived me and hurt me in the worst of ways, leaving me destitute and in a ruin with our children, what could a stranger do to me? And a stranger from a completely different world? The list of possibilities was endless.
�
�You know, I have never in my whole life met someone that I’ve connected to like I have with you, and in such a short time,’ he said when we got back to the house.
‘But… but we argue all the time…’
He laughed. ‘It’s good arguing, very different from the “It’s you turn to take out the trash” kind of arguing. It’s sexy…’
I gulped and stood up, somewhat rattled and confused. A key in the front door turned and Chloe stopped in the entrance hall, instantly alert. In one jump I put the table between Luke and myself.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ she said. ‘You’re traffic-light red.’
‘Am I?’ I asked as I flicked the kettle on for something to distract me. It wasn’t every day of the week that a girl got kissed by a Hollywood superstar now, was it? ‘It’s just the cold.’
‘Mum – it’s the summer.’
‘Let’s have a cuppa and you guys can tell me what you’ve been up to.’
‘You first,’ Chloe challenged, her eyes swinging back and forth between me and Luke who busied himself with the cake tin. Bugger me, the kid knew by just looking at me. I must have had that rabbit caught in the headlights look again.
I shrugged. ‘We checked out some locations. It’s going very well.’
‘This is going to be a great movie. Your mom wrote a fantastic book,’ Luke said as Chloe reached for a piece of cake.
She shrugged. ‘Never read them.’
Luke glanced at me, at a loss for words for once.
After dinner, and at least two hours of Ben flicking through documentary channels and Chloe complaining she wanted to watch MTV, I put an end to it. I was too jittery to put up with anything tonight.
‘It’s bedtime,’ I said. Not because I was sleepy, but I didn’t want Chloe to get bored fighting with Ben and turn on me with her accusatory innuendos. The kid had ESP. And I needed to go to my own room, away from his influence and charm. And mull over today’s developments.
At that, Minnie and Callie, who were observing our exchange with alert eyes lest we dropped any food, shot to their feet and happily trotted to their night baskets under the staircase.
Chloe shrugged and climbed up the stairs, half-muttering a goodnight for Luke’s sake.
‘Goodnight, Mum,’ Ben whispered, wrapping his little arms around my neck and kissing my cheek. He smelled so clean, so fresh. I wrapped my arms around his little body and squeezed him tight. ‘I love you a million gazillion, baby…’
‘And I love you a gazillion million, Mum.’
He raised a thumb up at Luke, a gesture he’d picked up from him.
‘Night, buddy boy, sleep tight,’ Luke answered as we watched him slowly climb the stairs.
Luke took my hands and pulled me close again with a broad grin. ‘Bedtime – my sentiments exactly.’
‘No. I meant, it’s time for me to go to bed.’
‘But it’s early. At least share a bottle of wine with me.’
‘Oh, no, no, no,’ I countered. ‘I’m really very tired. I’ll see you in the morning, Luke.’
He stopped, disappointed, and I wondered just how many women had ever said no to him. Probably very few.
‘I’m a gentleman, Nina. Nothing that you don’t want will happen,’ Luke said. ‘But I’ll sure as hell make sure you want it.’
God, I was so out of practice. Actually, I didn’t think I’d ever even been good at this game at all. I was only nineteen when I got pregnant. The boyfriends I’d had until then were not actually even men, but just boys, really. Phil had been twenty and he was the oldest of them all. Luke was a man.
‘See you tomorrow,’ I said as I scooped up my mobile.
‘’Night,’ he whispered, kissing the side of my face. ‘Sleep tight…’
‘Uh-huh,’ I croaked as I turned my back and dashed up the stairs all the way up to the safety of my bedroom.
By the time I washed and got into my nightie, my heart was pounding like a girl’s after her first date. What had just happened?
Luke wants to sleep with you, you silly cow, a voice inside me answered. And… you are not just flattered. True. I was also terrified.
I had to admit that. But how did it make me really feel? Good about myself? Was I only succumbing to Luke’s Hollywood charm because he was a handsome famous actor, or to the human being behind the sexy face and body? And what a cat in hell’s chance did I have – me, a normal single, frazzled, bedazzled mother of two with more problems than she could count – of having a real relationship with him, despite all his nice words? Would it even work between us? Would he move Jessica to Cornwall to be with me and the kids? Highly unlikely. I just couldn’t see how it would work.
There you go, said that evil voice inside me again. It wasn’t a marriage proposal. Lighten up, have a little fun.
Ah, said the angel on my right shoulder. The last time you had “fun” like that was when you got pregnant with Chloe. As much as we love children, we don’t want another unplanned pregnancy, do we?
Leave her alone, said the little devil on my left shoulder. A little sex never killed anyone.
I don’t know which little spirit won, because by that time I was so exhausted from all the emotion that I must have dozed off, only to wake with a start at the sound of Minnie and Callie barking. Burglars?
I tiptoed downstairs with a cricket bat and paused on the bottom step.
In the kitchen, Minnie and Callie were barking along with the fridge in another one of their howling matches, and I suddenly realised that I had a man in the house and hadn’t even thought to wake him.
24
Stand By Me
Saturday night dinner for friends, and I was just about to light some tea lights when Emma and Chanel arrived through the back door.
‘Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you,’ Emma said, shaking Luke’s hand. ‘Nina’s been keeping you under wraps, eh?’
Luke turned on the charm. ‘And you. I’ve seen most of Cornwall incognito, and it’s been pure bliss. You have a lovely corner of the world here.’
‘We like it,’ she said amiably as I came out with a tray of food.
‘Chanel,’ I said, ‘I’m so happy to see you. You have to stay for a sleepover tonight. Chloe and Jess would love that, wouldn’t you?’
‘Absolutely!’ Jess said, and Chloe nodded, hugging Chanel.
‘Jess, I’ve brought some music for you. They’re a pop band from Newquay.’
‘Cool – thanks, Chanel! I love your name, by the way!’
Chanel’s face brightened. ‘My mum’s, like, obsessed with fashion.’
Well, that one was sorted at least. I exhaled a sigh of relief as I put the dish down on the trivet, but not without a pang of regret. Jack should have been here as well.
The dinner with Emma went swimmingly well. She laughed at all Luke’s jokes and asked all the right questions. Luke asked her for a few of her business cards and promised to brag about the beauties of Cornish wedding venues, saying that he had a few friends thinking about tying the knot, and would she be interested?
‘Of course!’ she said. ‘I am already pretty much booked solid through for the next two years, but some celebrity names would skyrocket me to the top.’
‘Oh, Em, that’s fantastic!’ I cried. ‘I’m so proud of you!’
‘Thanks, love. But if things got any busier I’d need to hire a secretary.’
‘I’ll help,’ I offered.
Her hand shot to her heart. ‘You would?’
‘Of course. What’s a few phone calls and a few pickups for a friend?’
She hugged me. ‘Nina, you are the best! She’s the best!’ she said to Luke, who laughed.
‘She certainly is.’
‘Are you guys ready for dessert?’ I asked, getting to my feet.
‘I’ll help,’ Em volunteered, following me into the kitchen with the dirty dishes.
‘What the hell is going on here?’ Emma hissed as she put the dishes into the sink and ran the hot water.
&nbs
p; I pulled out my tiramisu from the fridge. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean Luke O’Hara drooling over you…’
I giggled. ‘He wasn’t drooling, Em.’
‘He can barely keep his eyes off you.’
I sighed happily. ‘Okay, I’ll admit it. There might be a little something. Just kisses. But please don’t tell anyone. Not yet. It’s way too soon.’
‘Not even Jack?’
‘No one.’
‘It’s not like he won’t know. You know what Penworth Ford is like. You are the talk of the town.’
‘Career-wise, maybe, but I don’t want anyone getting any strange ideas.’
‘That’ll be difficult, seeing as he lives under your roof.’
I should have thought of that, if Nellie’s reaction at the tea room had been anything to go by. Apparently a man and a woman couldn’t be friends, according to them. How naïve of me.
‘In any case, are you sure you know what you’re doing? These Hollywood people are a bit flighty, aren’t they? One minute they’re married to one person and the next—’
‘Like you and me, you mean? Look at me, you, Jack – we’re all single. It must be a village curse. Alf, Deirdre, Bev, Carol, Stephen Nanfan. Even Old Nellie hankers for someone she lost years ago.’
‘I’m just saying. You know how these show-business people are.’
I huffed. ‘Why can’t you be happy for me?’ I whispered. ‘At least now I know I’m still alive.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Please tell me you and he haven’t—’
‘Of course not!’ I hissed. ‘What do you think I am, a hussy?’
‘Of course not. I have never met anyone so staid as you, Nina. And that’s why you, in particular, need to protect your heart from someone who will very probably hurt you.’
She had a point there. I was staid. But as far as getting hurt, something told me that I had already given in that department.
*
Because Jack’s aloofness was annoying me, I went over there the next day to see how he was doing. I found him in the barn, going through a batch of apples, checking them one by one.
If he was pleased to see me, he didn’t show it.
‘Hi, Jack, how’ve you been?’ I tried as I sat down opposite him on a bale of hay. It smelled nice in there, like someone’s happy childhood.