Impossibly Possible

by Amelia Shea

  The tears streamed down her face, and she clamped her lips together tightly. If she went through with this, that was exactly what she’d give him.

  “Tell me something good that’s happening,” he whispered. It made her smile. Anytime she was having a rough day, he’d made her tell him something good that happened, even as small as it was sunny out, just something. He did it a lot right after her mom died.

  She sniffled, wiping her face with her sleeve. “I met a guy.”

  “Yeah? Is he a good guy?”

  “Yeah, he’s great. Really funny and handsome.”

  “Does he have a job?” She could almost picture her dad narrowing his brows as he asked.

  She laughed. “Yes, he has a job. He owns a security company with his brothers. He’s a technical genius.”

  “Smart and works in security so I know he can protect my little girl. I like him already.”

  “You would, Dad.”

  “Well bring him home, let me see if he’s worthy of my little girl.” Her dad snorted. “Nobody is worthy, but let me meet him anyway.”

  “Okay.” She sniffled. “Well, I gotta go.” She needed to get off the phone before she completely lost her shit. Her dad was concerned, and this conversation would probably have him more worried. “I’ll check my schedule and come home soon.”

  “You do that. I miss that pretty face.” He paused. “Do me a favor, kiddo, remember what I said, about your future. You got a family that loves you, good friends, and life, now a great guy. That’s your future. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Dad.” She hung up quickly and tossed her phone. Then she completely lost her shit.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Don’t let him have your future.

  Her dad’s words played over in her head. For the remainder of the day while she sat on the couch in a daze, when she showered and got ready, and now as she sat in the backseat next to Bogs.

  Don’t let him have your future.

  She stared out the window in silence. The only sound was the humming from the stereo, playing soft rock. She thought of the day and all the opportunities she had to back out, tell Bogs she changed her mind. Was she really going to go through with this?

  The ride was shorter than she expected. T, who was driving, pulled down a long industrial road. They’d gotten off the highway a short while ago and drove through a small desolate town. She had no idea where she was, but without the bright lights of the city, it didn’t feel like Texas. She curled closer to the window, glancing over the trees and the blue sky. She was looking for answers.

  The buildings grew further apart as they made their way down the road. At one point, the truck wobbled on the gravel road. T pulled in front of a small warehouse, parking between two Jeeps. She followed out of the truck when Bogs nodded for her to open her door. T entered first through the metal door, then Stone. Bogs grabbed the door and gestured her through. She was expecting a large room, but instead, it was separated into small offices.

  “Down the hall at the end.”

  She whipped her head back, staring at Bogs. This was really happening. She peered down the hall and froze. He was there, fifteen feet away. Her feet wouldn’t move.

  The knot grew in her throat when she saw T lift his shirt releasing the gun from the clip on his belt. It was like a brick wall slamming against her jolting her to wake up. She couldn’t do this. It was like a slow-motion movie, watching him turn to her and walk toward her lifting his hand with the gun.

  She stepped back, slamming into Bogs and her body shuddered uncontrollably. I can’t do this. Everything in her head, all the reasons she should, none of it made sense. How had she come this far in thinking she could actually walk in a room and shoot someone? In her eyes, he was the devil, but she could not do this. If she did, he would be part of her future. How was she supposed to look at her dad, her brother, and Bogs knowing she took another person’s life?

  She jumped from the pressure on her shoulders and whipped around. Bogs’ eyes widened, and she could sense the fear coming from him. She shook her head, breathing heavy, the air was so thin she tried to swallow to gain her breath back.

  “I can’t do it. I can’t…” She turned her head to see T and Stone staring back at her. She shook all over unable to stop in a panic. “I can’t.”

  Bogs immediately stepped forward engulfing his arms around her, and she latched onto him, her arms tightening over him as her eyes welled. “I’m sorry.”

  “Shhh…nothing to be sorry about.” He hugged her closer, his hands trailing over her back. She felt her feet moving from under her and the cool air against her face. The door opened, and he moved in closer wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Her feet crunched under the gravel as they made their way to the truck.

  She cried so hard unable to catch her breath. “I should be able to do it. I tried so hard to convince myself it was the right thing. I love my mom. I just can’t…” He opened the back door and maneuvered her into the backseat. Her vision blurred as she looked up at him. His hand swiped her tears as he leaned in closer.

  “Hey, stop. You not doing it has got nothing to do with whether you love your mom. Listen up, pretty girl, it’s okay. Doesn’t mean that you didn’t love your mom any less so if that’s where your head is at, you fucking stop, you hear me.” Bogs squeezed into the truck next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her into his side.

  “Why can’t I do it?” She shoved her face against his chest, gripping his shirt as though it was a lifeline. He didn’t answer, but it wasn’t necessary anyway. She realized she was asking herself, not him. She couldn’t gauge how long she sat there with him, holding on, but her body eased slightly. His arms held her tight and every so often she could feel his lips brush against her temple.

  The other door opened and Stone slid inside the backseat leaving the door open. She turned her head, watched him gaze over at Bogs and then down to her. “I’ll hang with her while you finish up.”

  She whipped her head. Finish up what? She didn’t want Bogs to do what she couldn’t. “What are you gonna do?”

  He cupped her face in his hands. “Shhh…calm down. I’m gonna talk to the guys, nothing else, I promise.” He kissed her softly brushing his thumbs along her cheeks. “Stone’s gonna stay with you, but I’ll be quick, then we can get out of here.”

  She nodded feeling the tears well up again. “I just couldn’t do it.”

  Bogs reached closer kissing her forehead. “I didn’t want you to.” He stayed with her a few more minutes before her body relaxed again. She was sure she’d fall apart again, but for now, she was calmer.

  He stepped back assessing her before closing the door. She stared down at her clasped hands. She saw his hand before feeling it land on her knee. Stone’s hands were scraped up and scarred with light white lines across the knuckles. His hand rested on her knee unmoving. She turned her head and glanced up to him staring at her. She opened her mouth but clamped it shut when he scowled.

  “Don’t say you’re sorry. It’s like Bogs said, you got no reason to be sorry.”

  She sniffled, hearing her dad’s words in her head. “My dad made me promise not to let him be part of my future.”

  Stone’s face softened, and he gripped her knee. “And you kept your promise.” The corner of his lip curled. “That brother of mine, he’s wants your future, and if he’s lucky, you’ll give it to him.”

  She glanced out the side window. The door remained closed as she waited.

  »»•««

  Bogs rushed to the door, swinging it open and hurrying down the hall to the last door on the right. He rounded the corner to see T, Trent, and Declan leaning against the wall. Other than them, the room was empty.

  “She okay?” T asked, stepping toward him, concern shadowing his eyes. “I should have waited to pull out the gun—it fucking freaked her out.” It was rare that T second-guessed anything he did or the effects it had, but this was different. Though he hadn’t come out
and said it, Bogs knew how T felt about Kenzie. She was one of the girls, their girls.

  “It set in motion what was supposed to happen. I knew she’d back down. She didn’t want this, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself she did. She’ll be all right, man.”

  “How’d you know?” Declan asked.

  Bogs shrugged. It was impossible to answer with words. He knew Kenzie. In the short time they’d been together, he just knew deep down she wouldn’t be able to do it. Not because she was weak but because she was strong. “The only thing pushing her forward was guilt. I knew she’d make the right decision for herself and she did.”

  He hadn’t let himself believe otherwise.

  “So, what the hell was Plan B, anyway?” T looked over his shoulder at Trent. Bogs was curious about that, too. He knew in his heart she wouldn’t go through with it, but if she had, he had no clue what Trent had planned. When he came in, he half expected to see Harris in the room.

  Trent cocked an eyebrow, and a small smile played on his lips. “Plan B happened about two hours ago.”

  Declan chuckled. “Yeah, about ten swat cars raided his place a few hours ago. The guy had about a pound of meth in his place. Mandatory twenty years. It’s a shame. Not even a plea will help his ass out this time. Harris isn’t gonna see the light of day for the next two decades.”

  “Struck a deal with the devil for that one?”

  Declan shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, just calling in a marker. Thought your girl was worthy of it.”

  Bogs had no clue who they had indebted themselves to on Kenzie’s behalf, but he was grateful.

  T smirked. “If she had wanted to go through with it, she couldn’t anyway, huh?”

  Trent glanced over at Bogs. “She didn’t want it. She just wanted a little justice, and now she has it. If I had to guess, he’ll get what’s coming to him. The four years he did is nothing compared to what awaits him for the next twenty.”

  Bogs nodded. “Thanks, I guess I owe you.”

  Trent chuckled. “And you can be sure that I’ll be calling it in.”

  Taylor.

  »»•««

  The only sound was the rumbling of the truck on the gravel road and the faint sound of music coming from the radio. She was sitting in the middle, snuggled under Bogs’ arm. Her head lay on his chest as she stared at the back of the passenger seat.

  The truck was so quiet she could hear his even breath and the patter of his heart pumping softly. When he had gotten into the backseat with her, Stone moved to the front. None of them spoke, not even when T got in and started the truck.

  Silence was good.

  She knew whatever happened tonight would change her forever. She heeded Bogs’ warning. This was different now. The change wasn’t about what she had done. It was about what she hadn’t been able to do. It was a strange mixture of relief, followed by the strong surge of guilt. She did the right thing, at least for her. It was there all along, buried behind indecision.

  She buried her face in his chest. His arms tightened around her, and she felt the gentle kiss on her head. His fingers splayed over her arm and caressed her soothingly.

  She wanted to ask what had happened when he went back inside but a deeper part of her didn’t want to hear the answer. She lifted her head slightly to look at him, but her attention was drawn to her leg. The touch was so light that she almost didn’t feel it. Then the large hand curved around her calf. A small squeeze and a light pat. Her gaze rose to see T’s arm bent back. It was an awkward position. He gave another small squeeze, and she met his eyes in the rearview mirror.

  He looked like a stranger in the dim light of the cab. His lips angled downward, but void of his usual scowl and glare. He almost looked…soft. Was that even possible? It was funny how so much could be said without a word ever being spoken. A gesture so small yet she got it. He lowered his chin, released her leg slowly and looked back at the road. She stared at him long after he trained his eyes on the road and for what seemed like forever. It was strange to think that a man she feared would be the one whose reassurance eased her. She was finally seeing why a girl like Cassie would be with a man like T.

  She nestled into Bogs’ body and closed her eyes. The ride could have been five minutes or five hours. She wouldn’t have known the difference.

  “Pretty girl.” A soft whisper in her ear. She pried her eyes open to see the door in the backseat open. Bogs leaned in cupping her jaw and kissing her softly. She squinted from her grogginess but scooted to the door. She made it to the edge of the seat when he scooped her up in his arms. He would get no argument from her. At this point, she wasn’t sure she could or even wanted to walk anywhere.

  The door slammed with a sharp bite then another and another. With her head resting on his shoulder she finally focused on where they were. She assumed they’d be going to her apartment or his but the large house in front of her proved her wrong. He walked up the path, and she watched the Garrisons porch come into sight.

  The door opened quickly, and she saw John look down at her. He backed away not saying a word as Bogs passed through the threshold.

  “Bogs,” she whispered.

  “Shhh…” It was all she got as he made his way up the stairs and down the long hall. She knew where he was taking her even before he placed her on his bed. She watched as he carefully took off her shoes then unsnapped her jeans, pulling them down her legs. There was no passion in his eyes. But there was love when he glanced up. He reached for the hem of her shirt lifting it over her head and dropping it on the floor. He did the same with his clothes and walked over to the door closing it.

  When he came back, he folded down the cover and slipped inside, tucking her legs underneath. This was what she needed, and he knew it. She turned to her side away from him but his hand curved around her hip, urging her to face him.

  She rolled over and tucked her hand under the pillow. Her lids were heavy with the exhaustion, but she kept her focus on him and his hazel eyes. The only ones she wanted to see right now.

  He lifted resting his elbow on the bed and his hand on his ear.

  “I still love Cheryl,” he said.

  She was caught off guard by his statement and blinked, searching his face. That was the last thing she expected to hear from him. It was completely out of the blue.

  “For all that she did to me and didn’t do for me, there’s a part of me that still loves her. Maybe if she hadn’t changed, I’d feel differently, who knows, but I do love her.” He must have read her confusion. “And if I could do that then you know all that you feel for your mom, all those memories and that love she gave you, and you gave back, there’s no denying or doubting how much you love your mom.”

  Tears trickled down, across the bridge of her nose, down her cheek, and onto the pillow. “I just couldn’t do it.” He became a blurred vision.

  He cupped her jaw circling her chin with his thumb. “You keep saying you couldn’t, but you’re wrong. You chose not to, Kenzie. And if you need someone to say it, for some kind of unnecessary validation, I’ll do it. You made the right choice for yourself.”

  He was right, she had made the choice and had no regrets. She sighed.

  “I was never gonna go through with it.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  She furrowed her brows. “If you knew I wouldn’t, then why set it up?”

  The corner of his lip curved. “Because if I hadn’t, you would have always wondered what if…” His hand circled her jaw, and his thumb strummed her cheek. “Now you won’t. You’ll know exactly what you would do.”

  “You really didn’t want me to do it?”

  He shook his head. “No, I told ya that. And here’s something I didn’t mention, I don’t think your mom would have wanted you to either. Or your dad. Not because Harris didn’t deserve it but because you wouldn’t deserve to live with that weight on your shoulders.”

  She pushed off her side, wrapping her arm around his waist and curling in
to his chest. He shifted back letting her fit next to him before holding her as close as he could get her.

  She whispered. “Now what?”

  “What do ya mean?”

  “Well, what do we do now?”

  He chuckled. “That’s a loaded question. You never ask a man who has a beautiful half-naked woman in his bed, ‘what do we do now?’”

  She laughed and slapped his chest. “You know what I mean. What happens with us?”

  “Same thing what’s been going on, minus the hiding from fancy Italian named thugs and murderous vigilante plots. I’ll stir shit up though and keep you on your toes if you need it. Don’t want you thinking life with me will be boring.”

  “I could use a little boring right now.”

  “All right, then boring it is. We’ll start our boring existence tomorrow. Dinner and a movie? Sex is optional.”

  She giggled. She almost sounded surprised by her own laugh. “Will that be boring too?”

  He winked with a smirk. “Not on my worst day.”

  She couldn’t imagine sex with Bogs boring, even if he tried, which was not her plan. She leaned up, kissing him and settled back down, resting her chin on chest. “I love you.”

  “Love you too, pretty girl.”

  »»•««

  The shimmering light peeked through the curtains as Bogs untangled Kenzie’s legs from his and grabbed his jeans from the floor. It was just after eight in the morning. He’d let her sleep for as long as she needed. After the night she had, he figured she had earned it. He was careful to sneak out of the room without much noise. He quietly made his way down the hall and the stairs.

  He had heard the soft murmur of voices before he crept into the kitchen. Stone was sitting at the kitchen table.

  “You guys stay here last night?”