Stalling her thought process, she fought to push another idea from her head. How can I think of her like that? I’m not imagining her sticking up for her buddy over a minor misunderstanding. The picture she had seen was as clear as day. Lori, with a protective arm around her, Lori with her arms around her, Lori…How can I think like this? She would never think this way. No one thinks I’m like that and I don’t even know if I’m like that! Am I like that? So I liked a girl once, does that make me a lesbian? It was just one girl in school…and now another at work. My brothers are ignorant brutes but even they think I am…why did they have to put a label on it? Why did they have to make it all so sordid and vile? Can’t I be attracted to someone regardless of who it is?
When Zoe touched her shoulder she almost jumped out of her skin. “Oops there, Aydan. Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Pulling a spare task chair up beside Aydan’s desk, she smiled, noting, “You’re as bad as Georgie when you’re concentrating on your work. I swear I could have let a bomb off in here.”
She shook herself out of her funk, offering Zoe a polite greeting. She didn’t know the young woman well and felt self-conscious around her. Something about her constant joviality, mod clothing and stunning beauty unhinged Aydan. She was beyond intimidating. Lori had even made a joke that Zoe had that effect on men and women.
They’d been enjoying a casual dinner out with Tyler and Georgie and Lori had tagged along. Somehow the subject of Zoe and her new position came up and Lori began laughing. “You should see my guys, and when I say my guys I mean all the women and men out there. I swear, every time she takes a walk through the production bay, coffees are spilled, tools are dropped, people fall off ladders, and she has no idea she leaves them all busting at the seams! Even the old-girls in the sail loft fawn whenever I send her up.”
Tyler was laughing too but Georgie was slightly behind the eight ball and as usual Tyler had to provide a metaphor she could understand. “Remember when we docked in Barbados and you took us to the airport to see the British Airways Concord?” When she nodded, Tyler coached her, “Now, think about how that aircraft makes you feel and compare it to the average airplane. You know them all. Can you see the difference, baby?”
Georgie smiled at them all. “You are saying…niece is smoking hot…perfection?”
Lori had smacked her arm with affection. “Sweet baby Jeez…jellybean, with those looks, she could open any door she tried. As our dearly departed Carrie Fisher would say, ‘She won the DNA lottery!’ Now if she would just decide what she wants to do with it.”
“Lori,” Georgie counseled, “she is young.”
“We weren’t like that.”
“Could not be,” she advised, “different generation.”
Before Lori could argue or solicit Aydan’s opinion, something she did more and more often, Tyler asked plainly, “How is it going with Zoe?”
Serious for the first time that night, Lori reminded them that the conversation was privileged, before answering with some hesitancy, “Better than I imagined. She’s organized, she pays attention to detail, and she’s asking questions. I didn’t expect that. I hate to say it but I think she actually likes working out there. Although,” she added with a wry grin, “she still wears her heels in the office.”
Tyler explained for Aydan, “Everyone has to wear safety boots out there, which is why we haven’t taken you out for a tour yet.”
“Aw, you should have said something,” Lori teased. “I just happen to know the boss out there, I’m sure I can wrangle an after-hours tour. That’s an open invitation Aydana-danna. Just say the word and I’ll be happy to show you around the place. As a matter of fact, it’s about time you guys came out to my place for supper…”
They had sat in Milo’s for another hour that night, drinking beer and trading stories from their childhood.
“I’m sorry, Zoe,” Aydan said now. “I guess I’m a bit worried about everything going on.”
“Understandable,” she offered with sympathy, squeezing Aydan’s arm encouragingly, “but there’s not really much of anything we can do, not at the moment.”
Aydan didn’t ask what she meant and worried silently, waiting for her to explain her presence.
Handing Aydan her phone, Zoe clarified, “Henry asked me to take pictures of all of those old office panels and the big oak doors stored in the millwork loft. He said you might want to use them somewhere. Can you put them up on the table thingy? I’d do it myself but I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t know how. You won’t tell Skip, will you?”
She nodded, starting to relax. “I can show you, if you want.” She expected Zoe to wave her off but instead she pulled her chair around beside her. “Thanks Aydan, it’s bloody time I learned this stuff.”
Chapter Twelve
Stumbling on the cold sand, Tyler managed to catch herself from falling. She hadn’t realized how far she had walked until now. She had meant to just step outside for some air. Now she was standing dead center on the very spot where Georgie wanted to build their home. After listening to Helen Jensen for the last few hours, she needed to think, needed time alone to decide. It was hard to believe she could be more upset.
Unbelievably, Lori’s stupid idea was more valid than she had imagined. Trying to sort her way through everything she’d heard she had marched out to the beach, only intending to walk a few yards. Looking around, she shivered painfully. It had been a strange spring. Last week’s warm weather had melted all the snow. It looked like spring until you actually stepped outside. This week’s deep freeze made the sand feel like hardened cement. The wind, vicious in its determination, blew in hard off the lake. Tyler’s arms, wrapped defensively around her chest, were as numb as her feet and heart.
Could it have been as bad as she’s saying? She didn’t know and the weight of it was exhausting. She kicked a loose rock, wanting nothing more than to lie down right there. Lie down, close her eyes, and pretend none of this had happened. How could one random event so completely derail our lives?
Before storming out, needing to think, she had wanted to know why no one said a negative word about Danny DiNamico, or even his mother Sophia for that matter. She couldn’t blame Lori or Marnie, they really were too young to remember much less understand, but what about Georgie? Did she not remember? Or had she long forgiven him? This man the DiNamico/Phipps clan so respected was a bully, a wife-beater, and during the darkest time in the family’s history, he had done the one thing all lesbian and gay lovers fear. He had barred Helen from the hospital where Georgina lay dying, barred her from his sister’s side. He had kept apart two women who loved each other and for appearance’s sake? Helen had told them of going to Sophia in tears and begging to see Georgina. The woman, even in her own grief, had remained a tyrant, ordering her to never approach her daughter again.
Tyler had wanted to scream right then, but there was so much more to learn. Henry, who she had so hoped would prove to be the voice of reason, had reached out to Helen, even working behind the family’s back so she could sneak in to the ICU after hours, but a nurse had blown the whistle. During the three weeks Georgie Senior fought for her life, Helen had seen her twice and for only a few minutes. Her one consolation was in knowing she had been able to tell her she loved her. Needing to be with her, she and Henry were working on another plan when they learned a restraining order had been filed and she would be arrested if she stepped inside the hospital again. Tyler couldn’t really blame Henry for giving up then; after all, he had just lost his own wife and had a house full of kids to raise and a company to run. With the loss of Georgina, their president and CEO, DME was suffering a leadership vacuum. Even in retirement old Luigi was still a force within the company and without them both, Henry found himself cornered. He had chosen the children and company first and she knew that rationally she couldn’t blame him.
She understood why he buried his memory of that time but Georgie, her Georgie, had never said a word against her father. According to Helen, she had witne
ssed everything. She had been the one to open up to her aunt and confess to what was going on behind closed doors and she was the reason Aunt Georgina had moved home. At least she’d had the wherewithal to ask Helen’s brother to move into the beach house to protect her.
Danny, she explained, was an angry drunk. Sober, he was his father’s son. But loaded, he turned into his wrathful mother, with muscles. He had shown up at her door late the night of Georgina’s funeral. Helen had been warned not to show for the service and she had respected that wish, however painful. It didn’t stop her from sending flowers, or visiting the graveside after the family was gone. Once again, someone thinking they were doing the right thing had tipped him off to her presence. He had raced out to the beach, intent on putting her in her place. Luckily her brother was there and prepared for trouble.
Tyler had sat motionless, listening to Helen tell the story of Danny showing up and demanding she leave, warning that he now owned the place and wouldn’t have her infesting his property. If the energy he used to kick down the door wasn’t warning enough, his rage at spotting a stack of unopened Christmas gifts, addressed to both big Georgie and little Georgie, his sister and daughter, pushed him over the edge. Helen had been sure he had every intention of killing her. Her brother had defended her while she called the police. By the time they arrived, he had managed to push Danny out the door, but Danny DiNamico was a big strong man. There was no abatement to his rage. Even when the cops showed up, he had been livid, demanding they forcibly remove Helen and her brother on the spot. The worst part was hearing how the cops almost did. Fortunately for them, Georgina had kept all her personal papers at the beach house. Whether she had seen this coming or simply considered this her real home, it had saved Helen that night.
The officers responding to her emergency call recognized Danny or at least his family’s influence and assumed he was in the right. But with a copy of the deed to the house and Georgina’s will, Helen had convinced them she had a right to be there. They’d had her brother in cuffs sitting in the back of a cruiser when a supervisory officer ordered him released and drove Danny home.
Thinking about the police turning a blind eye to an attempted attack had forced Tyler to question the influence of the family—when just weeks before she had been so thankful for it. A hit-and-run accident, especially when it didn’t involve a child and where no one had died, would rarely receive the type of attention and resources that were put to work to find the man who had struck Georgie down. One call from Lori and the deputy chief had thrown everything at finding the asshole. One call! She had been so thankful for the DiNamico influence then. She couldn’t think about it now. The ethics of influence had always been a subject that fascinated her. And Georgie, for all her worry of fairness, had never said a word against her father. Maybe it was why her stories regarding him never seemed to stretch back beyond her wounding in Afghanistan.
The sound of a car horn startled her and she turned to see Lori making her careful way along the beach in the Land Rover. Thankful, she pulled open the passenger door only to see someone in the back seat. “Helen?”
“I’m coming with you. If my little Georgie’s in trouble, then I’m going to help. I couldn’t be with her then, but I’ll be damned before anyone keeps me away now.”
Tyler just nodded, pulling on her seat belt. She wasn’t sure how old Helen was, but she had mentioned retiring last year after almost forty years of teaching high school science and math. She was an interesting woman and kind too, considering all the DiNamico/Phipps clan had done to ruin her life. It wasn’t enough that she had lost her life partner, Danny had wanted her out of the beach house and when that failed, he had gone after her job and he had done it. It had taken her three years to work her way back into the system. She had been let go in the early days of Buffalo’s court-mandated integration program. By 1985, the program had seen the end of the education oligarchs, with the Board of Education now operating twenty-two advanced learning centers, new high schools in need of teachers with advanced skills. In the time between being fired and hired back, Helen had gone back to school, finishing a Masters and a PhD in applied mathematics. With those accomplishments she could have gone anywhere, but she loved teaching kids and returned for the chance to step back in the classroom. Tyler admired that, admired her. Henry, Helen told them, had offered to pay for it all. His secret effort to keep her informed.
She’d pulled a carefully wrapped and stored box from her room, setting it out for them to see. It contained letters and mementoes from then and since. There were love letters from Georgina, wrapped lovingly with a mauve ribbon. Christmas cards from Henry with photos of all the kids and mimeographed copies of Georgie’s school report cards. The most heart wrenching had been a series of drawings, notes and creations her Georgie had made for Aunt Helen. She called them little Georgie’s inventions.
At that moment, the enormity of Georgie’s loss and her years of playing solitary protector to her siblings all made sense. How many nights had she herself lain awake watching Georgie struggle in her sleep? Everyone said she was much better now, but Tyler knew she fought a war every night. She had imagined, like everyone else, that it was Afghanistan and the crash that haunted her. Now she wasn’t so sure.
Oh baby, you’ve been fighting this battle all your life, no wonder you’ve given up.
* * *
Lori’s brother Lou Phipps, standing alone in the family room, was staring out past the patio to the beach. Lori had already explained that they were taking turns keeping an eye on Georgie. It never occurred to Tyler, after everything that had gone down over the last year that Lou would be concerned much less willing to help out. Welcoming them, it was easy to see the pain on his face. Tyler was impressed when he didn’t waste time interrogating Helen, the newcomer. Instead his only question, “Are you here to help?”
Helen assured him before she wrapped a motherly arm around Tyler and suggested patiently, “Let me try first. Is that okay?”
Choking on the kindness in her tone and the woman’s reverence for her status as Georgie’s fiancée, she nodded her consent. Watching Helen make her way toward Georgie, Tyler would not consider failure. “Please,” she begged under her breath, “please listen, Georgie. I can’t lose you to your fear and this wrongheadedness.”
* * *
Sitting at the shore’s edge it was easy for Georgie to believe Erie was the fiercest of the Great Lakes even if she was the runt. The very last of the winter ice was disappearing right before her eyes. There had been a moment when she wanted to measure the melt back, record the yards of reduction each day or map the disappearing flow, and then she remembered: there was no point. Why bother starting anything she wouldn’t be around to finish. She was leaving so many things incomplete, there was no way she would burden anyone with any more.
“Little Gee…it’s Aunt Helen.”
Georgie froze at the sound of the voice and distant memories. The sights, sounds and scent of the big house sparked nothing but remembrance. She had almost forgotten how hard it was to come here, forgotten how much easier it had been since Tyler.
“Georgie, I’m here now. It’s Aunt Helen. May I sit down?”
Frustrated by the constant bombardment of emotion, she turned away from the annoying ghost only to watch Maggie raise her head. Turning, she looked up at the visitor but couldn’t make out a face with the winter sun high in the sky. The voice, though, struck something in her. Raising the broken arm, she tried shielding her eyes. It took a minute, not to recognize her, but to comprehend what was happening.
“You’re dead!” she said, and turned her attention back to the wind and the lake.
“I assure you I’m not.”
When Georgie didn’t respond, Helen moved closer, offering her hand to Maggie. The dog sniffed it with little interest before laying her big dog head back in Georgie’s lap. “She’s gorgeous, Little Gee. I understand she had a hand in saving your life.”
Georgie eyed her with suspicion, watching
as she pulled over a chair and sat down.
When Georgie made it clear she would be spending her days out on the back lawn just feet from the water’s edge, the twins had dragged out the expensive patio furniture, not caring if it was ruined in the rain. Even if they couldn’t keep her in the house, they were trying to make her comfortable. They built a bonfire right there on the beach and they had kept it going all weekend, even stacking enough wood for her to use. She wasn’t interested but they’d kept it burning all day. Now she had company. It was hard to believe they still didn’t get it. She wanted to be left alone.
“I said—”
“He told you I was dead, didn’t he?”
With the cast on her arm, it was hard to maneuver her hand to block the sun. Seeing Helen clearly and more confused than ever, she nodded, choking on her distress.
“It’s all right Georgie…”
Reaching for her crutches, she looked like she was trying to get up.
Helen grabbed her before she tumbled. “Careful…”
Suddenly Georgie’s arms were around her neck, awkward cast and all. “He said you…died too…you did not…get me? I thought…I believed…I…” Her verbal jumble was tempered with tears and soon she couldn’t talk at all. Maggie too seemed to understand something significant was happening and had squirmed out from under her blanket to stand leaning against the pair.
Helen let her cry, holding and soothing her, much as she had when she was a child. “I tried, Little Gee, I tried,” she said over and over. When Georgie’s sobs began to subside, Helen helped her back onto the wicker sofa, wrapping the blankets carefully around her and the dog.
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