“Are you now?” Again she didn’t answer so Tyler got to her feet, moving over to sit on the couch. “You know, there is no hard-and-fast rule. Deciding what you are, deciding what you feel and who you feel it for, can’t be qualified or measured or put on a schedule or in a project plan. Hell, many young people today refuse to even accept a label, using instead terms like queer, fluid sexuality, or what was the one I heard the other day…pansexual human. All I’m saying is being you, whoever that may be, should be about you learning what makes you a better person.”
“You really believe that?”
“I swear to you, some days, our true selves are all we have to keep us going. That doesn’t mean you don’t prepare or stand up for what you believe in—it just means anything can happen and often does. If nothing else, these last weeks have been a sobering reminder of that.”
Finally agreeing, she chanced to ask, “Are you, I mean, are you two okay? Sorry, it’s none of my business.”
“I don’t think that’s true. You’re our friend, you live here, and part of your job gives you some responsibility in our lives. This is where you should remember the part about me saying you can talk to me about anything.”
It was said with such simplicity and affection that Aydan smiled. “I do want to talk, but I guess I’m more worried about you and Georgie right now. I…I just don’t understand what happened. Sorry…”
“Aydan, will you please stop apologizing. You have a right to ask, and honestly I could use someone to talk to, if you’re okay with that?”
“Yes of course,” she said, sitting up straighter and cupping her coffee mug in both hands in imitation of Tyler. She listened quietly while Tyler filled in the specifics surrounding Helen and the late Georgina’s relationship, providing details that had been avoided or glossed over at dinner. “It’s so horrible! Part of me can’t believe any family would act that way. But they can and do, my own included, and I still don’t understand.”
“You and me both,” Tyler agreed. “All we can really do is be patient with them and be ready to help them understand if and when they want to try.”
“Why do you think he did it, I mean, Mr. DiNamico, keeping Helen away from her all these years, especially after his mother died. I don’t understand who he thought he was protecting.”
“Fear, self-preservation even, it’s usually a combination of things. I’m sure it was exactly as Henry explained, at least until Sophia died. At that point they had both lost so much and he had lied to little Georgina to keep her from continuously demanding to see Helen. He told her she had died too. Imagine if you had just turned eight years old when all this was going down. You’re big enough to see everything, but not old enough to truly understand the family dynamics, social issues, or even the legal system. I think her father was in pain and wanted Georgie for himself. Certainly her grandmother figured into the mix. After that, it may have been his need to keep the girls close, or maybe he was too embarrassed to admit to her that he had been lying. It would have been hard to do when she was ten but imagine the blowout that would have occurred if he did so later in life, like when she came home from Afghanistan.”
“Henry did say he thought about it a lot. I can’t help wondering if my mother will ever think about what she’s done.”
“According to my mom, and now Kira, that’s all moms do, think about every decision, every word they said to their children, second-guessing everything.”
“I’m not surprised by the second-guessing, but when does reality seep in?”
That spurred an ironic grin from Tyler. “That, my friend, is the million-dollar question. For me, the hardest part of coming out was working up the courage to talk to my parents. Usually, Dad and I talked. Kira and I worked part-time in the body shop. She helped my mom in the office and ran the customer counter, but I wanted to be in the back with Dad and the guys. I loved the smell of the place and watching a wrecker get turned into something special. Most of his work is fender-bender repairs, but every once in a while someone would come in with a restoration job. Those were the cars I loved working on.” At her raised brows, Tyler explained, “Don’t get too excited, engineer girl. My job usually involved hand sanding and prep for the paint booth, you know, taping over lights and windows and such. What?”
Aydan was grinning at the description. “I just can’t see it. You all dirty, sanding cars? You’re always so…put together.”
Tyler stood. “Come on, let’s have another coffee, and as my mom would say, we’ll add a little Irish.”
While she made two more cups of decaf, Aydan found and examined the bottle. “This actually comes from Ireland, huh?” she said, reading the label. “So it’s made from whiskey? I never would have guessed.” Noticing a similar bottle, Aydan pulled it down to examine it too. “What’s this one?”
“That’s my secret weapon, Baileys Chocolate Cherry. I suggest caution on that one. Talk about the ultimate panty remover!” The minute it was out of Tyler’s mouth she colored, slapping her hand over the offending orifice. “Oh Aydan, I’m so sorry…”
She was laughing. It was really the first time in ages. She had recognized a look, a look Tyler only had when she was thinking of Georgie and now she had a good idea what those quiet thoughts were considering. “You are so busted, boss!” She was still grinning when she picked up her mug. “Thanks for that. It’s been so long since someone just talked to me like a friend, uncensored comments and all.”
When they sat down again, Tyler picked up the novel Aydan was reading and flipped to the front matter. “This must be Georgie’s copy. It’s an even earlier edition than mine. You know we have the movie upstairs?”
“They made a movie? How long ago was this?”
“Just last year. They changed the title for the movie to Carol.”
Excited, she sat up on the sofa. “The one with Cate Blanchett?”
Tyler nodded amiably. “Yes, have you seen it?”
Aydan groaned, rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen nothing, absolutely nothing. I feel like I’ve been living in a time warp for the last decade.”
“Well then, we can all watch it tomorrow night.”
The first thought that popped into her head was that she would like to invite someone, but she wasn’t ready to admit that to Tyler; she wasn’t sure she could admit it to herself. Instead, she asked something just as difficult, just not as difficult to her own self. “Is everything going to be okay with you two? I mean, I think you both love each other very much but…”
“But this was a test and we have so much talking to do and I need to do some healing. If you’re asking if I’m going to try and fix this the answer is absolutely yes. I love her too much to give up, especially if Lori is right.”
“Lori.” She felt a slight tingle race through her at the mention of Lori Phipps, almost as if the woman had been standing behind her running a teasing finger down her spine.
Tyler’s head tilted slightly. Sipping from her mug, she explained Lori’s theory of Georgie’s decision-making process, a process she had described as brutally logical.
“If she’s right, will it change anything?”
Setting her cup aside, Tyler let her head fall against the back of the couch. “Yes and no. I know I can’t react when she pulls something stupid like this, at least not until I’ve had time to talk to her and help her reason her way through things without resorting to creating some computer app to decide for her. I knew better on Friday, but I was so upset I just reacted. Part of me feels like a shit for not recalling how hard it is for her to understand any unquantifiable nonlinear thing. And I’m mad at her for not remembering the rule that she talk things through with me. Mostly I’m mad at that asshole who ran her over and left her facedown in a foot of water. I’m mad at the idiot doctor for scaring her when we specifically told him to bring all clinical information to me. Most of all I’m angry at her dad for being a wife-beating bastard who was too much of a coward to tell his daughter her Aunt Helen was still alive and kept t
hat information from her all these years.”
Silenced by her intensity, she did understand the frustration. She watched as Tyler retrieved a wad of tissue from her back pocket, wiping indignantly at her tears, and mused, “Sometimes I wonder what lies my father told me.”
For some reason the gentle statement soothed Tyler enough for her to ask, “Tell me about him. How did your parents meet? I mean Iran isn’t exactly on the Best Getaway list.”
“My dad was in the army,” she said, “this was back when the Shah was still in power. Dad was assigned to my grandfather’s command as a military adviser.”
That got her attention. “Your grandfather’s command, what was he?”
Pushing out a hot breath, Aydan almost whispered, “Deputy Commanding General of the Army.”
Tyler whistled. “Wow, your dad must have been high up in the army too, to get so close to his family.”
She shook her head. “Actually, that’s one of the things I’ve been thinking might be a lie.” Tyler’s brows raised but she held her tongue. “My dad wasn’t that kind of adviser, at least not the kind you see hobnobbing with generals. He was a US Army staff sergeant teaching sergeants in the Iranian guards how to be better firearms instructors. My mother tells this story of them meeting at a grand ball and seeing him in his dress blues and falling in love.”
“You don’t think that happened?”
“Oh, I think they met and fell in love, but I know a thing or two about the army, both ours and theirs. Enlisted men, even American advisers, do not get invited to social functions where officers will be, especially general officers. I think there’s a better chance they met in a bar or nightclub, they had them you know, especially back then when things were so pro-American.”
“So, she created a fantasy. Do you think she was ashamed to admit she was a normal young woman going out with friends and meeting boys?”
“I’m sure shame is involved. My mom has always been cagey about their anniversary date. She would say she left that all behind in Iran and would only think about her new life here. I bought that right up until Dad died. I was helping get all his papers in order and found their marriage certificate. It was issued in France just a week before I was born. When I showed her, she just flipped it off, saying they remarried in France because the church insisted on it. I know France is mostly a Catholic nation but still, it sounded like BS to me.”
“Interesting,” Tyler noted. “So, what’s your theory?”
“My theory, they met in Tehran and were sneaking around behind my grandfather’s back. I’m guessing he found out and cut it off, even when they realized she was pregnant. I’m sure my grandfather’s pride would not let him consider such a low-ranking soldier as a husband for his only child. Then the Shah fell. My dad was extracted with his unit, but my grandparents must have thought they could ride it out. They were very wealthy and may have imagined their money and station would keep them safe. Then the Ayatollah ordered his boss be hung for crimes against Islam and I’m sure my grandfather believed he was next. The CIA exfiltration team brought them out that night with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They were very bitter over the situation and the loss of their family holdings, and remained so until their deaths. I had the impression that they went to Paris thinking everything was temporary and the French banks could recover their money. When they realized they were penniless, living in the most expensive city in the world like they were still aristocrats, they must have panicked.”
“I bet. I know I would have. Was your dad there?”
“In his army record file I found a list of all his postings. According to that he was stationed at Fort Benning Georgia, teaching Green Berets.”
“Wow! That’s a long way from the Paris Opera House.”
“See, I’m not crazy to think this, am I?”
Tyler shrugged. “I guess the real question is why it was so important for your mother to lie about it. If it was just a point of respecting her parents’ pride I can almost accept it. If it’s shame, well, it could be another factor in the puzzle of your treatment compared to your siblings. I’m sorry I don’t know much about the Muslim faith. What’s the party line when it comes to unwed pregnancies?”
Now it was her turn to shrug. Silently, she removed her hijab. It was the first time she had done it anywhere except her bedroom and that one time with Georgie. “I never wore one of these until my dad was gone. He never said anything, but I have a feeling he laid down the law with my grandparents. It’s not as if we were raised as Christians either. When we were little and friends were going to Sunday school, he would always say we had lots of time to make our own decisions about faith and advised us to wait until we were adults to make that choice.”
“Smart,” Tyler agreed. “I take it that decision was overruled when your dad died.”
“The very next day. I really thought my mom would get everything back to normal once she had some time to grieve but, well, it just never happened.”
“I’m so sorry, Aydan. It sounds like he was a really great guy.” Maggie stretched up from her dog bed and making her way to Tyler leaned against her legs. “Is it time, girl?”
“Let me,” Aydan said. “I’ll take her out for a walk, then bring her to your room, if that’s okay.”
“You don’t mind?”
Aydan was up, grabbing the empty mugs. “Let me just straighten up first, then I’ll take her for a walk. How far should we go? I mean, her shoulder must still hurt.”
“I’m sure it does. I think a loop around the building should do.” Walking to the stairs, Tyler stopped and said, “Aydan, thanks for everything.” With that she headed up, disappearing into the master suite.
“Well, Miss Maggie, do you think you can teach me this dog walking thing?” The dog, limping slightly walked to her and leaned against her leg. She had seen her do it before, but almost always with Georgie or Tyler. “I guess that means we’re friends again.”
* * *
Maggie had sauntered throughout her walk, taking her time to sniff every corner of the building before relieving her bladder at the one location Aydan knew Georgie didn’t like her to go. The postage-sized strip of still-hard grass on the building’s northwest corner had once connected Erie with Cathedral Park and had necessitated the original bullnose feature to fit the lot. Now the tiny greenspace formed a triangular-shaped parkette with a few trees, a small Victorian iron fountain, and a single city bench. There was no point in scolding the dog; she was probably too sore to make it much farther. With their business done and cleaned up, they headed back inside and upstairs. All the way up in the elevator, the dog sat at her side, leaning heavily on her leg until the doors finally opened.
Then everything changed. Aydan recognized the dog’s sudden urgency, familiar from the morning Georgie was hit. Fumbling through her pockets for her employee pass, she begged under her breath, “Please dog, just this once be wrong.”
The moment the door lock disconnected, Maggie pushed through, racing around to the master bedroom and pushing her way in. Aydan was trying to decide if she should just go to her room or check on her bosses when she heard Tyler.
“Aydan, can you come here, please.”
Sticking her head in cautiously, she said in alarm, “Oh no, not again.”
“I don’t think so,” Tyler said kindly, never taking her eyes off Georgie. She was sitting up in bed. Tyler, still in her street clothes, had squeezed her way in behind her back, giving Georgie something to lean against while she was sick. Tyler had a towel in her hand, wiping at the sweat beading on her shoulders and neck. “It’s just the pain meds. I’m going to have to call her doctor tomorrow and get her to prescribe something else.”
That made sense and was much better than the alternative. “Here Georgie, I can take that. You’re done, right?” she asked carefully, reaching out and taking the loaded kidney bowl from her shaking hands. She didn’t look so hot, but she did look a lot better than before.
With two younger siste
rs, two baby brothers and a sickly grandmother, Aydan had seen her share of barf. Nothing could shake her on that level and what people, even big tough bastards like her brothers, would balk at often shocked her. Bastards! She prepared a washcloth then grabbed a fresh towel, carrying everything back into the bedroom.
Tyler had moved to sit on the side of the bed. She sat leaning over Georgie, propping pillows behind her head, reassuring her as she wiped away the slow stream of tears trailing down her cheeks. “It’s okay, baby. We’re big girls; we can handle a little barf. You never got upset when Ella threw up on you Christmas Day, so we won’t get upset now either, right Aydan?”
It was easy to admire the woman’s devotion. Her eyes were always on Georgie, even when she was trading points with someone else. “Tyler’s right, boss. I have seen ten times worse come out of my brothers and believe me they never had an excuse for it.”
Georgie was smiling now as color slowly seeped back up her face. “Thank you,” she said, making eye contact before repeating it for Tyler. Suddenly her tears were back but from a completely different cause. “My Tyler…sorry, so sorry…I thought…”
“I know, baby. You thought you were doing the right thing. Please don’t worry. I’m not mad, but we will have to talk about it.”
She watched as Georgie nodded solemnly to her future bride. Handing over the damp cloth, Aydan set the kidney bowl on the nightstand along with the clean towel. Quietly she told Tyler, “I’ll put that call to the doctor on the top of your priority list for tomorrow. I take it you’re pretty sure it’s the meds?”
She nodded. “Although the cheesecake Leslie made is definitely on her no-no list. Remind me to let her know. I think she made it as a treat, but it’s not something she does well with anymore.”
“Complicated,” Aydan said quietly, noting it without criticism. “Let me grab a clean T-shirt for her. Any preference?”
“Yes, but first will you help me get her over on the other side of the bed?” Tyler explained to Georgie, “Baby, I think it would be safer if you sleep on the other side. I don’t want to risk hurting your leg or your hip.”
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