His gaze hardened to blue steel. “You don’t know shit about me.”
Riley’s voice dropped until only he could have heard it. “I know you held my hand, when I was scared of the dark. You helped me save Jimmy when you didn’t have to. And I know you held me, wanting me to hold you back, in that pool of water. You wanted that more than you wanted the sex. So, yes, I think I know a little bit about you, Wade. You want to be human more than you want anything in your life, don’t you? You think McClain took that from you somehow.” His gaze locked on hers with an intensity that almost frightened her, but she pushed on. “But he didn’t take it from you. You make this choice, and you do. You throw that dream away like it’s worth nothing.” His body trembled, claws threatening to slice into her flesh. Riley stroked the warm skin of his hand, forcing herself to believe. “Let me go, Wade. Please. For both our sakes. You’ll hurt me more than you’ll ever hurt him.”
For a long, breathless moment, she held his gaze. Slowly, she felt his touch give way, his claws retracting into his skin. He laughed, and it was full of mockery, but she didn’t think it was aimed at her.
Then she was able to slowly push his hand away from her trembling midriff.
His fingers came up, traced the smooth curve of her cheek. Fingertips brushed against her mouth, trembling, the spark of it shooting straight through her. Cupping her face, he dragged her close and kissed her. Hard and fast, his lips pressing against hers with a desperation she could feel through the steel core of his body.
She shoved at him and stepped back. His hand lingered on hers, keeping her between him and the shooters. Riley stared at him. Why the hell...? She pressed a hand to her lips, confusion slicing through her.
He smiled. Sharp-edged and bittersweet. “Goodbye, Riley. You almost make me believe there’s something good left.”
Then he shoved her away from him. Looking up, he smiled, arms held out in surrender.
Bullets hit him from every direction, tearing through his flesh. He jerked, his knees going out from under him as a scream tore from her throat.
Then he slowly crumpled to the floor of the cage.
8
It hurt.
Worse than he’d expected. Bright light washed over him, half-blinded him. Pain was a razor’s edge. He felt like someone had punched holes in him with a silver knife. It burned. Noise crackled in his ears, almost undistinguishable.
Someone was shouting. McClain. “Stop shooting!”
A gasp. A woman. Then the cage was wrenched open and her hands covered his chest, shoving into the raw burning mess that he swore was silver-borne. He could see again. A blurred outline of a woman, her blonde hair a halo against the beating sun. Horrified. Cursing down at him as she tried to crush his heart beneath her hands. White light outlined her body, softening her face, her hair, until all he could see was a pair of serious brown eyes staring frantically down at him.
Luc made a gurgling sound. Couldn’t breathe. Blood bubbling on his lips. Heart pounding in his ears. The strength went out of him, and his head rolled back.
“Come on, you bastard. Come on!” Words scraped his skin. Scraped it raw.
He flinched. Hurt. The hurt was bad. So blinding he drifted for a moment in utter painlessness, and then blinked as it wrenched back into his life with razor-sharp claws.
I’m sorry. I don’t think I can.
And the damnedest thing was he tried. But the strength was draining out of him, taking her away from him. He could hear her yelling at him, telling him to get his ass back here. Wet tears spattered his parched face, like the rain after a long summer.
It all seemed so very far away.
Slowly, he let go. Floated.
And then he faded away.
“Damn it!”
Riley held her hands over the mess of Wade’s chest. No matter how hard she pressed, she couldn’t seem to stop the blood from welling. Her hands were wet, coated with the stuff. She didn’t think she’d ever manage to wash it off if he died.
And when had her feelings about him changed so much that she’d care?
Riley ground her teeth together, heat springing up behind her eyes. You almost make me believe there’s something good left. Why the hell had he pushed her away? He’d known what was going to happen. And he’d accepted it.
McClain slid to his knees beside the open cage, his face hard and composed.
“Jesus,” he muttered. Looking up, he bellowed, “Eden!” As soon as Eden reached his side, he relinquished his post, gesturing sharply to his men. “Stand down. Get a stretcher here immediately.” Another look down. That time, his composure shattered. Frustration edged with a very real pain filled his grey-green eyes.
Riley tore her gaze from him, confused. Eden nudged her to the side, taking Riley’s hand and pressing it over the bubbles of blood from lower in Wade’s chest. “Here,” she said. “Put the pressure here. If he can’t breathe he’ll die.”
“Is he going to die?” Riley didn’t think she could handle that. It was her fault he was in this situation.
Eden’s expression closed over. “I don’t know, Riley. I don’t know.”
“He’s a warg.”
They could recover from almost anything. But... She looked at his chest, at the blood drenching his shirt.
Eden gave a helpless shrug. “He’s lost a lot of blood.” Her lashes lowered. “And I don’t have the facilities to replace it.”
“Come on.” McClain grabbed her by the arm, drew her to her feet. “Let Eden do her job, Riley. You’re shaken up. You need to rest.”
He drew her away, his hand like a manacle around her wrist. Two of his men rested a makeshift stretcher on the ground beside Eden and bent to lift Wade onto it.
Riley tore her gaze from his battered body, her bloodied hands still held out in front of her.
“This is my fault,” she said blindly.
McClain led her toward the main building. His eyes lit on her, strangely gentle. “Wade knew what he was doing, Riley. You weren’t at fault in any of this.” His lips thinned. “Though I did warn you not to turn your back.”
I didn’t think he’d hurt me.
And she’d been right. He hadn’t, when it came down to it. Even knowing what was going to happen once he gave up his human screen, he’d chosen to let her live. Chose her life over his.
Heat flared behind her eyes. A hot, salty tear slid down her cheek, which McClain pretended not to see.
“Come on,” he said, maneuvering her toward the door. “You’ve had a bad shock today. I’ll help you clean up.”
One last glance in Wade’s direction. His foot lolled off the stretcher as they carried him toward the infirmary, Eden holding someone’s shirt over the worst of the wounds.
Her heart clenched in her chest, and she staggered over the doorstep. She wanted to see him, but how could she help? She’d only be in Eden’s way. Without any nursing skills, she was worse than useless.
But at least she’d be the one person who hoped he pulled through. At least she could stop Eden from giving up on him
“I want to go to the infirmary,” she stated, reaching out and shoving against the wall to stop his inexorable drag. Her bloody hand left a perfect print on the walls.
McClain’s body turned toward her, and Riley dug her heels in. “No,” she said. “I don’t want to go to my room. I want to be there. I want to make sure he knows I’m there.”
“He can’t hear you,” McClain said slowly, searching her face.
“I want to be there,” she repeated.
McClain’s tawny brows lowered. “Riley, I know... it was hard out there. I know what he did to you, what happened... If you think—”
“What he did to me?”
McClain tipped her chin to the side, his fingers warm against her skin. He brushed them down her neck, against a spot that hurt at his touch. His eyes went dark with unsaid emotion. With fury.
She looked down, but couldn’t see. There was a mirror in the hall, with a hat stand.
Shrugging his hand off her, she crossed to the mirror.
Bruises marred the smooth skin of her throat. And where McClain had touched her lingered an unmistakable bite mark.
Heat flushed up her neck, into her cheeks. She met McClain’s gaze in the mirror and looked away first.
“You don’t have to tell me about it.” His voice had an edge to it, and his arms were held stiffly at his sides. “I’ll never ask. But I know you’re not thinking right at the moment. Sometimes it happens, when a man kidnaps a woman.”
Riley’s gaze shot to his. “It’s not that. You don’t—” She made a gurgling sound, hating this. “Is that why you’re so angry with him?”
No answer. But from the look on his face, she knew.
Hugging her arms across her chest, careless of the blood, she shook her head. It was both her secret shame and a moment of intense rightness in her life. She couldn’t regret what had happened, but the fact that she’d enjoyed it... That she didn’t know if she’d say no if she had the chance to live through it again... That was her shame, right there.
But if she didn’t say anything, McClain would bury Wade where he stood. She could read his body language. He had no intentions of seeing Wade back on his feet. In his mind, Wade had done the unthinkable.
“It’s not what you think.”
His hat lifted, revealing just a hint of those stunning eyes. Hard-edged now. Lacking all emotion. “Riley, you don’t have to—” He scraped his hat off his head, revealing close-cropped tawny brown curls. “I’m not the person for this. You want to talk about it, you need to wait for Eden. I can’t hold your hand through this.” His own fisted. Clenched. “I want to kill him right now. For daring to put his bloody hands on you.”
Riley grabbed his forearm, feeling the muscles flex beneath her grip. “It wasn’t rape,” she blurted. “I said yes.”
She might as well have hit him. McClain didn’t flinch, but his entire body turned to stone, his head slowly swiveling toward her. She couldn’t quite meet his eyes, focusing instead on the line of his mouth. Silence filled the air, thickened it. And within him, every muscle bunched, as if violence was but a thought away.
He let out a harsh breath. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” she snapped, backing away. There was blood on his arm in the shape of a handprint. Wade’s blood. “You don’t understand. It was crazy out there. Wade was an asshole, but he helped me get Jimmy back. He didn’t have to do that. I don’t even know why he did. He’d kidnapped me. All he had to do was overpower me and drag me back out into the desert, but he didn’t.” She met his eyes then, begged for him to understand. “I’m not saying he’s one of the good guys. But... there were moments when he was almost human. I was so scared of the dark, of the revenants, but he helped me through it. Christ, he tucked me into my blankets like I was a kid. There’s something there, McClain, that isn’t all bad. And we’d been through so much that... I gave in. I said yes. Even knowing what he was, I said yes.”
Her words were met with silence. McClain bristled. “Yet you never once allowed me to touch you.”
Riley licked her lips. “Don’t think I never considered it.” Until he opened his mouth. “But you want more from me than I can give. You want me to be something I’m not. Maybe I could make you happy for a few months. Maybe I’d even be happy myself, but in the end we’d only hate each other. Wade and I... It didn’t mean anything. It was just sex, just... someone to turn to after everything I’d been through, but it was consensual.”
He lifted an unsteady hand and raked it through his hair. A harsh bark of a laugh erupted from his throat. “Fucking karma, that’s what this is.” Looking up, he focused a predator gaze on her. “He’s going to die, Riley. We all knew it. Eden’s just making him comfortable.”
The blood drained out of her face. “He’s a warg. He’s strong, he can heal anything—”
“Not even a warg can heal after that much blood loss.”
The words were brutal. They tore something deep inside her, an inexplicable pain. “No.”
McClain stepped closer. “Just sex?” Another low, bitter laugh. “Don’t fool yourself, Riley. If it was just sex for you, I’d have had you in my bed years ago.” He reached out, brushed his fingers against her face. “You never let down your guard. Never.”
A long moment of horrible silence. Because he was right.
Then he took a deep breath. “Clean yourself up. Then come to the infirmary. I’ll meet you there, and we’ll see what we can do.”
“You said he needs blood,” she whispered. “Where the hell are we going to get compatible blood from here?”
McClain turned on his heel. “Just get yourself to the infirmary. And keep your mouth shut.”
A breathless knock.
Riley exchanged glances with the man guarding the door. His hair was cropped close to his scalp and he waited in a prepared stance, his hands crossed in front of him, biceps bulging.
The door opened just enough to reveal Eden’s face. Her expression relaxed when she saw Riley, and she gestured her through a crack in the door Riley could barely squeeze through.
Her gaze went straight to Wade, as if something linked them. He was flat on his back on the hospice bed, his tanned skin drained of color, and a mass of white bandages around his chest. The sight punched her in the chest, and Riley dragged her wet hair over her shoulder, licking at her lips. She’d washed herself as quickly as she could, splashing cold water over her face before she came. It was enough to slough off the fog that slowed her movements, her thoughts. Enough to bring the stark reality to the forefront.
She didn’t want him to die.
McClain had his back to her, sitting on this side of the bed, his hat dragged low over his eyes. The room was clean and sterile, with bloodied bandages overflowing the bin and a bowl full of crimson water on the table. Eden returned to the table, wiping her hands dry on a towel, weariness staining her features.
Riley noticed it... and said nothing of it. She couldn’t stop her eyes from traveling back to Wade. She kept expecting him to sit up and arch a brow in her direction with a mocking quip. But he didn’t. His body was as still as death, skin as waxen as a corpse. Bruises marred his face, and the bloody tear through his eyebrow had been stitched.
“Is he...?” She couldn’t ask.
“He’s still alive,” Eden murmured.
Stepping closer, Riley saw the needle taped to the inside of his elbow, and the tube leading away from it. Red blood filled the clear tube.
The other end of the line ran up to McClain’s elbow, and the butterfly-shaped clip there. Riley stopped in shock, and Eden bumped into her.
Without his hat, McClain looked almost approachable. He looked up, his expression tired. “Sit down,” he said. “And shut your mouth.”
Slowly, Riley moved around the bed and settled on the seat on the other side. She was right. McClain was giving Wade his blood.
But how? A frown drew her brows together. A warg wasn’t human. Not any longer. Were they? “They can take human blood? His body won’t reject it, will he?”
Eden examined her work carefully, keeping her mouth shut. Riley looked to McClain for the answers.
He didn’t look at her. Instead, he stared at Wade emotionlessly. “With your background – your father – I never thought you’d take to the monsters. I didn’t—” He looked down. “I never made a move. I didn’t think you’d ever trust me enough.” His head turned, pinned her with a gaze that made her shiver. “You might think it wouldn’t have worked, but I’m not so sure. You never knew me, Riley.” A soft laugh. “And it’s my own damned fault.”
Slowly, he reached inside his shirt and drew out the length of a chain, a heavy pewter amulet dangling from it.
Riley froze.
McClain dropped it against his shirt, his gaze returning to Wade and the identical charm around his throat. “He told you about it then. Told you how it works?”
“He said if he lost it, I had to run.” Riley
had to swallow to get the words out. McClain? A warg? The words smashed every preconception she’d had of him, and raised a thousand questions in their place.
“How?” She looked down, then realized the connection between them. “Who?” she asked. “Who turned who?”
And again, she answered her own question.
“It was you,” she said. “You made him what he is.”
McClain nodded slowly. “I’m not proud of any of it, Riley. You don’t think seeing him like this doesn’t hurt me? Luc and I rode together, out along the Rim. I had his back, and he had mine.”
“That’s why he wants to kill you.”
Eden pressed a gentle hand against her brother’s arm. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said fiercely.
“I made the choice,” he replied. “I chose you over him.” He closed his eyes, as if he couldn’t bear to face the truth himself. “A man named Bartholomew Cane rode into town one day when Eden was sixteen. Didn’t know it at the time, but he and his man Colton were wargs. Both of them carried charms like this one. Gave me a bad gut feeling, but what could I do? There were signs, but the moon didn’t affect them. So Luc and I dismissed our intuition.
“They were after local men to help ride down a warg who’d done them wrong, they claimed. The money was good. I put my hand up. Wade’s wife was pregnant, and he didn’t want to leave her side, so I went out alone.”
Eden’s grip tightened, leaving white imprints on his arm. “Adam,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”
His shoulders tensed. “Did you know he had a wife?”
Riley looked at Wade, at the silent figure on the bed. “He told me. Said her name was Abbie.”
The feel of McClain’s gaze on her face was like a palpable touch. She met it and saw a new question smoldering there, though he never gave voice to it. Instead, he shifted uneasily. “We hunted the warg down and executed it. He was wearing the same charm as Cane and Colton, but I didn’t notice until I rolled him over. He’d never gone beast on us, not once. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering, and Cane knew it. Tore me up, out there on the range. Told me the warg had been his third, that he’d tried to run and borne the price. I was to be his replacement.”
Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection Page 20