by Emily March
“So I understand,” Ali said. “How is Reverend Thomas doing?”
Reverend Bobby Thomas was the driver of the car that had hit Josh. The sixty-three-year-old was the pastor at the local Methodist church.
Jax said, “So far, so good. It’s definitely a heart attack, but Dr. Cicero is cautiously optimistic.”
“That’s good.”
“I think the best news they could give Reverend Thomas and all of us is the news that Josh will be okay.”
A thready little moan escaped the noose around Caitlin’s throat. “Where’s Daddy? I need to go. I’ll just drive myself.”
“No you won’t,” her mother said firmly. “You’re in no shape to drive, sweetheart. Mac will be here … now. Here he comes.”
Ali waved toward the black SUV turning into the clinic’s drive and Mac slowed to a stop in front of them. Caitlin opened the back passenger door and climbed inside. Her mom took the front passenger seat. “Go fast, Daddy. Please?”
“I’ll get you there as fast as is safely possible, sweetheart. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
Ali fastened her seatbelt saying, “Celeste texted me a few minutes ago. Caitlin, she thought that you would probably want your phone with you, so she retrieved you purse from Gingerbread House. She’s waiting for us at the Angel Creek footbridge, so Mac, if you’ll pull over to the curb, she’ll bring it to us.”
“Will do,” he said. “I have some news too. Liliana called to tell us that Brick made a run into Gunnison this morning. He’d just started home when she called him with news of the accident, so he turned right around. He’ll be at the trauma center shortly, and he’s promised to phone us with updates on Tarkington’s condition until we arrive.”
“Josh!” Caitlin snapped, suddenly done with her father’s attitude. She rubbed her eyes. “His name is Josh, Dad. Please hurry.”
Her father pulled onto Cottonwood Street and headed north, and a few moments later, the car slowed. Her father hit the window buttons and both Caitlin’s and her mother’s rolled down. Celeste approached the SUV, took Ali’s outstretched hand, and squeezed it.
“Thank you,” Ali said.
“Happy to help,” Celeste replied.
She handed Caitlin her purse, then reached into the back and took Caitlin’s face in her hands. “My sweet angel,” Celeste said, capturing Caitlin’s gaze with somber blue eyes. “In the giving of your heart, you open it to fear. The trick is to remember that fear is the springboard for courage. Acknowledge your fear, and courage will become the wind beneath your wings.”
Caitlin’s eyes filled with fresh tears, her throat with a fresh lump of emotion, and she could do no more than nod at Celeste.
As her father pulled away from the curb and headed north, she turned her head and gazed out of the window, lost in thought. She was only vaguely aware of her parents’ softly spoken conversation in the front seat as she silently prayed. Please, God. Let him be all right. Please, God. Please God. Please God.
Mac managed to shave ten minutes off the two-hour drive to Gunnison. Brick had called twice to report that he had nothing to report, that Josh was still in surgery. “That’s good news, don’t you think?” Caitlin asked her mother. “He’s alive. If he’s still in surgery, he’s still alive.”
“Yes, I think it is good news,” her mother replied.
By the time they finally approached the trauma center, tension coiled within Caitlin like a snake. One part of her wanted to dash from the car before it came to a stop. Another part wanted to pull her jacket over her head and hide until her daddy proved the monster waiting for her didn’t really exist.
As they arrived at the trauma center, Celeste’s words echoed through her mind. Fear is the springboard for courage.
She took three deep bracing breaths, and when her father pulled to a stop in front of the entrance, she sprang from the car and hurried inside.
A volunteer directed her to the surgical waiting room. She spied Brick sitting with his legs spread, his elbows resting on his knees. He stared down at a paper coffee cup, his expression strained and heartsick.
Her stomach sank. Her steps faltered. Her heart in her throat, she croaked. “Brick?”
His head snapped up. He rose to his feet and walked toward her. “As far as I know, he’s still in surgery.”
“Still? Why is it taking so long? And why did you say ‘as far as I know’?”
“Things have gone crazy around here. They started flying in victims of a four-car pileup not long after Josh arrived, and it’s all hands on deck. They’re too busy trying to save lives to provide updates.”
“So … what are you … you don’t mean … he’s dead. He’s dead and they’re just not telling us! That’s not what you’re saying!”
For an instant, she saw the doubt and uncertainty roll across Brick’s eyes, and she knew he had the same concern she did. She swayed and her knees turned to jello. He reached out and caught her as she started to fall. He guided her into a chair saying, “No. No. Don’t do that. Don’t go there. We have absolutely no reason to think that. We have to think positive. They’re busy, Caitlin.”
Fear is the springboard for courage.
“Okay. You’re right. Of course. Lives come first.”
“Waiting sucks, but Josh couldn’t be in better hands. The trauma center is new, with state-of-the-art facilities. The doctors and nurses are excellent. I know this because my grandfather is a major donor here. One thing about Branch Callahan, he looks after his own best interests. Once he realized how much time various members of the Callahan clan would be spending in the area, he made sure we’d have top-notch medical facilities available when we need them.”
Caitlin had known the Callahan family had joined other prominent Eternity Springs residents to update and expand the medical clinic in town, but she hadn’t known they’d taken their philanthropy this far. “That’s reassuring.”
“Yep. We need to keep the faith.” If the intensity of his declaration seemed to be a reminder for himself, well, there was nothing wrong with that.
Movement in the doorway of the waiting room got their attention, and both stood as Brick’s wife Lili enter the room with Caitlin’s parents. Brick opened his arms as Lili crossed to embrace him. She asked, “Any news?”
“Not yet.”
“No news is better than bad news,” she added.
“Amen to that.”
Lili turned to Caitlin and gave her a hug too, saying, “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I wanted to go with him on the ambulance. They wouldn’t let me.”
“Well, you’re here now. You’ll be here when he wakes up.”
When he wakes up. Whether it was the confidence in Lili’s voice or the compassion in her eyes, Caitlin couldn’t say, but Lili touched off the storm of tears that had been building inside Caitlin since she saw the car strike Josh. She broke. “Oh Lili, I’m so scared. I can’t lose him. I love him. I love him so much.”
“I know. I know you do, honey.” Lili wiped the tears from Caitlin’s cheek, then took her hands and squeezed them. “You won’t lose him. I haven’t known Josh for very long, but one thing I learned right from the start is that you can count on him. He won’t let you down. He won’t quit. He is a fighter. He will fight his way back to us.”
“She’s right,” Brick agreed. “You should have seen him the time that—” He broke off abruptly when a nurse entered the waiting room.
“Tarkington family?”
“Yes,” Brick and Caitlin said simultaneously.
“Doctor Draper is on his way. He’ll speak with you in the conference room. This way, please.”
As Caitlin stepped forward to follow the nurse through a pair of swinging doors, Brick grasped Lili’s hand and motioned to her parents to join them, ‘family’ or not. The nurse gestured to a smaller room just on the other side of the doors.
Tension rolled through Caitlin’s stomach and she felt lightheaded. Please God. Please God. Please G
od. The five of them had no sooner entered the conference room than a man wearing blue scrubs joined them.
His gaze swept the small room and he got straight to the point. “He’s alive, and barring the unforeseen, I expect him to stay that way. I’m his surgeon, Alex Draper, and I have another patient being prepped for surgery, so I’ll be brief.
“In addition to multiple rib fractures, Mr. Tarkington suffered lacerations to his spleen and a kidney, which caused extensive internal bleeding and required surgery. The good news is that as of now, he still has all his parts. We’ll keep a close eye on the spleen especially, over the next few hours and days, but I’m optimistic. He’s in recovery, but he’s heavily sedated for pain control. Immediate family should be able to see him within the hour. I apologize for the brevity of this meeting. I’ll be back to address your questions just as soon as I possibly can. It’ll be at least an hour—probably more—but if you’ll leave a phone number with the volunteer outside the waiting room, someone will call when we can give you a better idea of when I can tackle your questions.”
The doctor exited the waiting room, and for a moment, they all stood in stunned silence. Then Brick released a heavy breath and bent over, resting his hands on his knees. “Whoa.”
Lili said, “Thank God.”
Relief swept over Caitlin and she began to shake. She sank into the nearest chair, closed her eyes, and focused on breathing as she offered up silent prayers of thanksgiving.
A few moments later, Brick said, “I’d better make some calls. Let people know the good news.”
“I know we weren’t the only people making the drive from home,” Lili added. “The waiting room is already getting crowded with families of the traffic-accident victims. I wonder if we shouldn’t pick a spot for everyone to meet and wait together?”
Caitlin shook her head. “The doctor said we could see him within the hour.”
“He said immediate family,” her father pointed out.
Caitlin folded her arms, lifted her chin, and stated defiantly, “Who here is going to tell them I’m not immediate family?”
“Not us,” her mother was quick to say. “Lili, I think choosing a meeting spot is a wonderful idea. Why don’t Mac and I scout something out?”
“That would be good,” Brick said. “Thanks.”
Mac asked, “Is anyone hungry? We could make a cafeteria run too. Cait? How about an ice cream bar?”
Caitlin recognized the question as the peace offering it was. She gave a little smile and shook her head. “No thanks. Nothing for me, Dad.”
“I’m fine,” Lili said.
“I could use a sandwich,” Brick told him. “Ham if they have it, but anything is fine.”
Mac nodded and opened the conference room door. Before Ali stepped outside, she crossed over to the chair where Caitlin sat, bent over, and kissed her daughter’s head. “I’m glad he’s doing well, baby.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Once her parents had gone, Brick excused himself to make his phone calls. Lili indicated her need for the ladies’ room and stepped outside.
Alone, Caitlin bowed her head. Exhaustion rolled over her like morning fog in the valley. She wasn’t sure she could have stood if she’d wanted to. The only other time she’d been this afraid had been those awful, terrifying weeks when Chase had been missing in Chizickstan. Fear was a powerful emotion, and it occurred to her now that the depth of its experience went hand in hand with love.
She’d known she’d fallen in love with Josh, but today had proved to her just how deeply her heart was involved.
I’m in this. All the way in this.
And he doesn’t want a relationship.
He’s afraid of relationships.
He’s going to hurt me.
“Fear is the springboard for courage,” she murmured.
Josh had certainly put his fear and courage on full display today. He’d feared for Jax’s daughter and sprang courageously to save her. So what did that tell Caitlin? She believed he loved her. Maybe he never said it, but he showed it with his actions. So what had the events of today proven to her? That he was courageous with his body but cowardly with his heart?
Or maybe he hadn’t been tested yet. If she’d been the one closest to Julianna Lancaster, she liked to think she would have acted courageously too. If their situations were reversed right now, what would Josh be thinking? Would he still be standing on that springboard testing the bounce? Or would fear have provided the nerve he needed to jump into the deep end of the love pool?
The love pool? Seriously? Caitlin, you’ve cracked. She’d embarrassed herself with the cheesiness of that analogy.
And why was she worrying about this now, anyway? Josh was lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. She should be thinking about that.
Except, she didn’t want to think about it. It was scary. Still way too scary. She didn’t want to lose him—physically or emotionally. She loved him. Madly, truly, deeply loved him, and she’d be lost without him.
“Fear is the springboard for courage” didn’t cut it in this situation. She needed Celeste to show up and give her some words of wisdom that fit the current situation.
Knowing Celeste, she might well be out in the waiting room right now. She had a way of being there when she was needed.
The thought propelled Caitlin to her feet, and she exited the conference room and returned to the waiting room. What she found there reminded her of one of the reasons she’d moved to Eternity Springs, and it brought forth a fresh flow of tears.
The waiting room was packed. Yes, Celeste was here. So were Chase and Lori, Nic and Gabe Callahan, the Murphys, the Garretts, the Turners, the Davenports, Brogans, Ciceros, Raffertys, and Romanos.
Eternity Springs had come to support its newest hero.
* * *
Mac and Ali Timberlake spoke with a volunteer at the information desk who suggested a waiting room not far from ICU where those waiting for word about Josh could gather. Then they went to the cafeteria, ordered soup and salad for themselves and a sandwich for Brick, and spoke with the manager about putting together an afternoon tea type of menu for their group. Ali gave the manager her phone number and said, “If you’ll call when the trays are ready, we’ll send some people down to pick them up.”
Mac was hungry and he polished off half his salad before broaching the subject that had been plaguing him for hours now. “She’s serious about this guy, isn’t she?”
Ali looked at her husband over the top of her soupspoon. “Yes, she is.”
“I don’t know why she doesn’t see how perfect Boone is for her.”
Ali set down her spoon hard. “And I don’t know why you won’t accept that she’s chosen Josh Tarkington.”
Mac speared a cherry tomato with his fork. “I don’t like him.”
“Yes, that’s obvious to everyone. You’ve done everything but rent a billboard. We’ve been down this road before and I still don’t understand, Mac. By all appearances, Josh is a good guy. Look at what he did today. He saved that baby. He’s a hero.”
Mac shrugged. “Well, we’ll see what he is. I’ve hired an investigator.”
“You what?” Ali said, her voice a near screech.
“I hired an investigator.” He squared his shoulders. “I need to know who and what he is, Alison. I need to know where he came from.”
“What you need to do is trust your daughter!”
“I do … well … except when it comes to men. Face it, Alison, she’s made some terrible choices in the past. If Tarkington is another one of those, I want to know while I still have the faculties to do something about it. Sure, she usually figures it out in time, but I don’t have time. I want … I need … to see her settled with a good man before I die.”
Ali reared back as if from a physical blow. Seeing her stricken look made him feel guilty, and the sensation intensified when tears pooled in her eyes.
“Dammit, Ali,” he muttered.
She scooted back her ch
air and rose. “Excuse me. I need another napkin. I’ll be right back.”
Mac closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. He was physically weary and emotionally exhausted. And underlying all of it was a bubbling, seething slough of anger that didn’t go away.
He should apologize for making her cry and say something comforting. But he was tired. He was heartsick. And dammit, he was more than a little afraid.
Then he dropped his soupspoon and the anger erupted.
Mac shoved to his feet and stalked from the cafeteria and through the nearest door that led outside. Cold air enveloped him. He wanted to run, to pick up his heels and run as hard and as fast as he could. He wanted to outrun the monster nipping at his feet.
Instead he shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and paced the half-empty parking lot. Up and back. Up and back. Up and back. His blood churning. His thoughts spinning. He had so much to do. So much to get settled. For Ali. For Caitlin. The boys were both okay. They would manage.
He’d wanted to be a granddad to children of Chase and of Caitlin. Stephen’s little ones were the light of his life, but they lived in Texas now. He’d had dreams of being more involved in his grandkids’ lives. He’d wanted to take a grandson hiking and fishing and camping. He’d wanted to buy a pony for his granddaughter. Every little girl wanted a horse at some point in her childhood. He’d wanted to ride bikes with them to Fresh for donuts on Saturday morning. He’d wanted a grandchild on his lap Sunday morning in church.
“Mac?”
At the sound of Ali’s voice, he halted. He took a moment to blink away the moisture in his eyes before turning around to face his wife.
“Are you okay?”
He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice as he laughed and repeated, “Okay? For a guy who’s dying, I guess I’m okay.”
At that, Alison’s temper flared. Her eyes fired and the hands at her side fisted. One part of Mac observed and admired her. Ordinarily calm, cool, and collected, Ali’s classic, sophisticated beauty had always attracted him. But when she got angry, when color flooded her cheeks and her eyes glittered and attitude blasted from every pore, she’d always turned him on.