“Yeah, the idiot with the guitar over there.”
I held back my smile. “That idiot is my boyfriend.” At least I thought he was. We never really said for sure.
“Figures.”
“Why is that?”
“You all look the same. The pretty people of the world.”
I smiled at her, despite her rough nature. “You belong too then.”
She sneered. “If I ditched the colored hair and nose ring, but I refuse to be like everyone else.”
“Who says you have to be? I like the hair, nose rings look painful, but you pull it off.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I don’t have any motivation to other than the truth.”
She sat up a little straighter and gave me more of her attention. “Why are you here?”
“The tool asked me to come.”
A small smile escaped her lips. “He’s hot.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Are you famous, too?”
“No, thank goodness.”
She smiled and nodded like she approved of my answer.
“Do you want some help with your homework?”
“I just don’t get why we have to study all this crap. It happened forever ago.” She slammed the book shut.
Music started to fill the room as Cole began to play. Some other kids with music ability started in, too. It was a little noisy, but I focused back on Deidre. “The best way to make sure mistakes of the past aren’t repeated is to learn all we can about who and what came before us.”
“Are you a counselor in disguise?”
“No.”
“You sound like one. They say crap like that all the time in here. So do my parents.”
“I’m sure they’re worried about you. It’s hard to see those we love going through something we can’t fix.”
“How would you know?”
“I lost someone I loved to drugs.”
“Did they die?”
“Pieces of him did. And our relationship died because of it.”
She sat still for a moment and looked at me with her piercing green eyes. “I don’t want to die.”
“Then you are where you’re supposed to be. It’s a brave choice.” I pointed to Cole. “You know he had to make that choice, too. That’s why he’s here. He wants to help. I do, too. So let’s crack open that book again.”
It took her a second, but she opened it back up. I spent an hour with her discussing the renaissance period. After that, we joined Cole. Now all the residents were gathered. Everyone sat on chairs or the floor to listen to him. He talked about his choices and journey. He gave them encouragement to take it a day at a time. I sat in between my parents and I could tell they were impressed. My mom was in awe and my dad leaned forward to listen to every word he said. He nodded several times in agreement. “He’s not half bad,” my dad whispered in my ear. That was a compliment from him.
Not bad at all.
Chapter Fourteen
“You’re quiet, doc.”
I turned from the window of his car as we headed back to my place. “Today was a lot to take in, but it was a good day.” I smiled at him. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
He reached over and rested his hand on my cheek for a small moment. “Thanks for coming. You don’t know what it means to me.”
“Is it okay if I ask you if it’s hard to stay away from alcohol?”
“I want you to feel comfortable asking me anything. I won’t hold back, even if I don’t think you’ll like the answer.”
“Are you saying I won’t like this answer?”
He thought for a second or two. “Some days are harder than others, but then I think of Brooks . . . and,” he glanced my way, “you.”
“Me?”
“I think, if I can stay sober one more day, it’s one more day I can have you.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. No one had ever spoken to me the way he had. “But you don’t do it just for me, right?” I couldn’t stand the thought of him connecting his sobriety with the state of our relationship. I couldn’t feel responsible like that again. I wouldn’t.
“No, darlin’, but you aren’t bad incentive.”
“I would be lying if I said this didn’t worry me.”
“You’re a smart woman to be wary. I always want you to be open and honest with me.”
“Thank you, Cole.”
“For what?”
“Making me believe again.”
I saw the corner of his mouth upturn into a smile as he focused on his driving. “We better get you home so you can finish your niece’s quilt, and so I can get to distracting you.”
I found I loved nothing more than being distracted by him. As the next couple of weeks went by, we fell into an easy pattern of work and then play. He worked on his new album during the day, while I fulfilled my duties at the clinic. He had several cuts already recorded; he gave me a sneak peek and I was in love. He sounded old school country on this new album and it really suited him. And we finally convinced Call to come in and cut a demo with him, just to try it out.
Not only was Cole happy she agreed, but he knew it was the perfect way to get me to enter into his world. He invited Beck and me to the recording studio to hear her. How could I refuse? Part of me really wanted to. I liked what I felt was our own secret world. Just he and I getting to know each other without any other distractions other than his kisses, which really were another way of getting acquainted. My favorite way. But I knew if we were really going to be a couple, we would have to venture out into the real world. The world where everyone knew him. The one that made me have heart palpitations.
Cole promised me he would make it as painless as possible, but he knew it was largely out of his hands. Our conversations went something like this:
“Are you going to want me to go to award shows with you?”
“Of course I want you to, but I don’t expect you to. I can always take Brooks, or my momma, she loves those kind of things.”
“But if people know we’re a couple, then they’ll talk and we’ll be all over the gossip reports that our relationship is on the rocks.”
“I never listen to that trash. As long as we know the truth, that’s all that matters.”
“That’s all well and good, but I don’t want to be categorized as cold, or worse, an unsupportive partner.”
“Doc, anyone who knows you won’t believe it. There are plenty of people in the business with significant others who choose to keep their private lives just that, private. Some never make any appearances.” He brushed his hand through my hair. “Not to say I won’t try to convince you to come with me at times. I can’t think of anyone else I would rather have on my arm.”
“Well . . . maybe if you’re up for a big award like entertainer of the year or something.” I smiled.
He kissed my forehead. “I guess I’ll pray this is my year.”
“This is a lot for me to take in.”
“I know, but you don’t have to do it alone.”
“Promise? Because that’s exactly how I felt in my marriage. After he won Nashville Has Talent, I always came in last, or not at all.”
He pulled me on his lap. I curled against him. “I can say the words, but let me show you, then the trust will come in time, little by little, each day.”
“I know I keep saying this, but I swear when you talk to me I feel like I’m in one of your songs.”
He held me tighter against him. “That’s because you are my song. I want to sing it every day.”
I was pretty sure I was falling in love. Was that possible after only a few weeks? I didn’t know for sure and I didn’t want to tell anyone for fear they would think I had gone crazy. I couldn’t even tell Call. I had never felt like this before. Danny told me he loved me after a month of dating, and I couldn’t say it back for months. But Cole wasn’t Danny. And I wasn’t a twenty-year-old young woman anymore. I was on the verge of turning thirty-three; I’d been
through hell and then divorced. I had emerged to start the career I had worked so hard in school for. I owned a home and made a life for myself. Now here I was, head over heels for this man that was known worldwide, but when we were together I felt like I was his world.
It felt crazy and beautiful.
~*~
I promised Cole I would come to the recording studio to see him and Call make magic. He was anxious to introduce me to his friends and the producer of his new album. I knew it made sense and I was honored he wanted me to be a part of his world. That’s how the whole couple thing was supposed to work, but he wasn’t the normal guy you meet at Starbucks. He was an international superstar. And I was the ex-wife of a star who rose to great heights, but came crashing down and burned out quicker than he should have.
We were meeting Call and Beck there. The studio was just outside of Nashville on some pretty spectacular farmland. The studio was a transformed home. The inside was almost nicer than Cole’s house, and that’s saying something. It was rustic and charming. It utilized stone and wood in the design. I could see why Cole chose it. It felt like him.
We walked in and Cole looked around at the place and smiled. “I recorded my Christmas album here a few years ago. We had it decorated like Christmas morning in the middle of June.”
“I would have liked to have seen that.”
“Maybe we can come back out here for Christmas.”
“Are you saying you’re still hoping we’re together for the holidays?”
He took me into his arms. He lowered his voice and leaned his head toward mine. “Start making your list, doc.”
I bit my lip before he lowered his head and pressed his lips against mine. I breathed him in, but we were interrupted.
“Cole,” a large, booming voice spoke and it echoed in the open space.
Cole reluctantly let me go and he and I both turned toward the sound of the voice. Cole took my hand and led me to the man who looked like his voice. Troy Lerdall was a large man that wore pants like he thought he was, or should be, smaller. His gut hung over his beltline and his button up shirt barely looked like it was containing the flesh underneath. But he had a genuine smile and he was sure happy to see Cole. He pulled him into a big bear hug and slapped him hard on the back. I think I would have bent over in pain after such a greeting, but Cole took it well.
“It’s good to see you, Troy. I would like you to meet someone.”
Both men turned my way.
Troy gave me a knowing smile. “This must be Jillian.”
I stretched forth my hand, not wanting to be crushed by his weight. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Our clasped hands met. “Same. I’ve been wanting to thank you.”
“What for?”
He looked between Cole and myself. “This man has never sounded so good and his songwriting skills have reached a new level. Looking at you, now I know why.”
I raised my eyebrow, intrigued by his revelation.
Cole put his arm around my shoulder. “Can you give us a second before we head to the control room?”
“Sure thing, but you better hurry. Francesca is here and you know how she likes things to stay on schedule.”
“That’s why I hired her.”
Troy walked off, chuckling to himself.
Cole turned to me and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you writing songs about me?”
His come-kiss-me grin made an appearance. “Let’s say you’ve inspired a few.”
“How come you didn’t tell me?”
“I wanted to surprise you, and I told you there were some timing issues involved.”
“So that song you played at Dalton’s was . . .”
He kissed my lips. “It’s a work in progress. I promise to share it with you when the time is right.”
I pecked his lips once more. “Okay.”
“We better go, but I want to pick up right here where we left off when I’m done.” He kissed me a little deeper.
Something to look forward to. I took a deep breath and followed him across the expansive house. I could hear several people the closer we got. It made me nervous.
Cole must have known. He gripped my hand tighter. “They’re just people and you’re good with people. All you have to do is be yourself.”
We walked into the control room to find my best friend already there. She and Beck had come earlier so she could warm up and run through the song a few times without Cole. I hadn’t seen her this nervous in quite some time. Beck was rubbing her shoulders while she looked over the sheet music. I could see her running the number through her head. She grinned when she saw us walk in.
I went to make my way to her first, but Cole wanted to introduce me to the sound engineer and a couple of the studio musicians before I could.
There was an awkward moment when the bass player recognized me. “Weren’t you married to Danny Hilton?”
The room suddenly got quiet. Call, Beck, and Cole all stared wide-eyed at me.
“I was, but we’ve been divorced for about a year now.”
Unfortunately, he didn’t leave it at that. “That dude got so messed up.”
I had a front row seat for it. Could we please move on?
Cole was my saving grace. “Let’s get to work.” He kissed the top of my head. “Will you wait here for me?”
“I think I can manage that.”
He winked at me before he, the sound engineer, and Troy had a little meeting of sorts.
I made my way to Call, who looked like she might lose her lunch. “Are you okay?”
Beck squeezed her shoulders.
“I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this.”
“You’re going to be fantastic.”
“They’ve already told her how bloody brilliant she is.” Beck beamed at her.
She smiled. “Enough about me. How are you taking all this?”
I glanced at Cole deep in discussion. “Better than expected.”
Call touched my arm. “You two are good together.”
Yeah. We are. That thought stuck with me the rest of the evening as I watched from the control room as my best friend and boyfriend sang a ballad to each other in the sound room. I wasn’t jealous in the least. It was a little odd, but somehow it all seemed right.
He seemed right.
Chapter Fifteen
I definitely thought I was falling in love. Or maybe I was past thinking and I knew I was, but wasn’t ready to fully admit it. I knew what love felt like. I had been in love before. Not like this, though. This was kind of amazing, just like summers at grandma’s house. Warm and peaceful, but fun and playful. You knew that’s right where you belonged. If only Grandma Sue was still alive. She would have loved him, too.
The end of May approached and my birthday loomed. I had finished my niece’s quilt with barely enough time to mail it to her. I had been a little distracted. Call, Noah, and Beck were getting ready to fly to London on holiday, as Beck called it. Call was both nervous and excited. She had good reason to be. I was happy for her and Beck. They, too, were good for each other.
Everyone was getting ready to leave, Cole included.
“I’m sorry I have to miss your birthday.” We cuddled on my couch the night before he flew out to Los Angeles. He was headed to a recording studio out there to record with pop sensation Zoe X. I wasn’t sure what the X stood for, but she was huge and he really wanted her on his album, and this was the only time and place they could make it work. As a bonus, Brooks was meeting him there to be one of the studio musicians.
“It’s no big deal.”
“It is to me. When I come home next week, I’m going to bake you a cake with lots of rainbow chip frosting.”
“You don’t know how much it means to me that you remember all my favorite things.”
He kissed my head. “How much does it mean to you?” Seduction ran through his words.
I sat up and straddled myself across his lap so I could gaze straight into those gorgeous eyes
of his. I ran my fingers through his hair.
His eyes said they wanted me.
I leaned in and whispered, “This much.” I saw his sexy smile right before our lips met.
He pulled me to him for a long, slow kiss goodbye. After he was done exploring my mouth, his lips trailed down my neck and back up again. Every part of me wanted him.
“Jillian,” he whispered against my ear.
“Yeah,” I breathed out.
“You’re my favorite.”
~*~
He was my favorite, too. I was sad to see him go, but work called. I could understand that. Besides, it gave me a couple of days to spend with Call before they all flew to London on Saturday. Noah’s last day of school was Friday and Beck didn’t want to waste any time.
“Happy early birthday.” Call handed over a gift bag. We were eating at our usual place.
“Thanks. You didn’t need to do that.”
“Of course I did.”
I smiled and pulled out the tissue paper from the hot pink bag. I peeked inside to find a . . . bikini? I pulled out the red halter shaped top and small bottoms. I raised my eyebrow. “Uh, what’s this?”
“A nightgown.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s your new swimsuit.”
“It looks like underwear.”
She wagged her eyebrows. “I was buying a new one for my trip and I thought you should have one, too, in light of the dress you practically wore last year when we went to your neighborhood pool. I figured Cole might like to admire you in it.”
I threw the thing at her.
She caught it and laughed. “You’ll both thank me later when you spend your summer on the river with him.”
I smiled at the thought of spending my summer with him.
“I know I keep saying this, but he looks good on you. I’ve never seen you so happy.”
I bit my lip. “He’s great. Almost too good to be true.”
“Just enjoy it, dear Jillian. He’s terrific and you know it.”
“I know. It’s all happening so fast, though.”
“Sometimes those are the greatest loves stories.”
“Or disasters.”
She shook her head. “You’re hopeless. You dated Danny for four years before you married him. That’s all I’m going to say.”
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