Alex shrugged. “So? If that’s who you are, then it’s who you are. We all have something we do that we shouldn’t.”
“But you know the fucked up part? I almost want to stay. Move back here and live in this godforsaken town, just so I can see her. Be with her.” He looked at Alex, whose brown eyes were narrowed on him with concern. “I almost want to stop running.”
Alex froze, the shirt he was folding dropping to his feet. “And will you?”
“I can’t.”
Ethan finished folding the shirt and grabbed the one Alex dropped off of the floor. It was the shirt he wore to the bar a couple of days ago. The night he’d gone home with her. Had it really been so short of a time since they reunited?
“Can’t?” Alex asked, snatching the shirt back. “Or won’t?”
He sighed. “It doesn’t fucking matter. I just feel…bad about letting her down.”
Alex shook his head. “See what love does to men? It’s why I’ll never succumb to the illness.”
“Who said anything about love?” Ethan asked, slamming the shirt down on the bed. “I didn’t say I loved her. I just…just…” Need to be with her to breathe. Want to stay with her. Ache to spend my life with her. “Well, shit.”
“Let me guess. You just love her?” Alex asked, his brow up. “That, brother, is why I’m the psychologist.”
“I knew I had feelings for her, ones that could develop if given time, but I didn’t know I’d already fallen back in love with her.” He rubbed his jaw, his eyes on the picture of them she’d drawn. “Son of a bitch, how did that happen?”
“Shit if I know. Speaking of avoiding love…” Alex grinned. “I’m quite good at it.”
“Yeah, I know.” Ethan dragged his hands down his face. “This doesn’t change anything. I’m still leaving. It’s not like she loves me, too, or anything.”
“Did you ask her?”
Ethan growled. “No, of course not.”
“Well, then, how do you know she doesn’t love you?”
“Because I do. We had an agreement, and we both need to stick to our sides of it. I promised her a weekend of no-strings-attached fun, and she’ll get it.” Ethan continued packing. “My feelings don’t change that. Besides, she didn’t try to stop me. She obviously wants me to go.”
“You trying to convince me of that, or yourself?”
“Fuck off,” Ethan snapped.
Alex shrugged. “You’re just mad because I’m right.”
“Stop treating me like I’m one of your patients. I’m not.”
“Fine,” Alex said. “But one more question. Are you staying or going?”
Ethan stared at his feet. Could he stay? Was that even a question? Jesus.
“I’m going. I have a life in California. A job. A house…” Ethan tossed his unfolded shirt onto the bed. “How about we get a drink real quick, though? Because I fucking need one.”
Alex clenched his jaw. “Fine. Let’s go, then.”
“Stop acting like you’re so disappointed in me,” Ethan said, shooting his brother a dirty look. “How could you actually expect me to want to stay here?”
Alex shrugged as they descended the stairs. “Easy. You just don’t get on the plane.”
“I can’t do that,” Ethan said, rubbing his temples as they went down the stairs and out the front door. “I don’t belong here.”
“I, for one, know that Mom would be happy if you did. And I have a feeling Ashley would be, too, no matter what you say.” Alex nudged Ethan in the ribs. “Hell, even I miss you, bro. The whole town does.”
Ethan snorted. “I doubt that.”
“That I miss you?” Alex asked, his brow furrowed.
“No, that the town does.” Ethan shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets as the rounded the corner. “They might miss bullying me, but that’s about it.”
“Dude, people grow up.” Alex snorted and pointed at the small coffee shop they passed. “Has anyone been a dick to you this week?”
Ethan hesitated. “No. Everyone’s been nice.”
“Even the ones who were assholes to you?”
“Yeah.” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “It doesn’t mean they’re all these great people now, though. They still treated me like shit.”
“Yeah, I know. But they grew up. Dude, people do that. You need to open your fucking eyes.” Alex swiped his hand through the air. “Timmy, the guy who gave you a black eye? He owns that coffee shop now and is fat as fuck. And remember my friend Bobby, the dickwad?”
“Yeah…”
“School guidance counselor now,” Alex said.
Ethan groaned. “Those poor kids.”
“Nope, he’s actually good at it. Tells them stories of what not to do…” Alex shrugged. “I’m just saying. People change. You did, too.”
Ethan let out a breath. “That’s true. I guess I just never thought of it like that.”
They pushed through the doors of the bar and sat down. The bartender turned to them with a smile, and Ethan flinched. It was one of the football jocks that had taken pleasure in torturing him all throughout high school.
“What can I get for you, Alex?” He looked at Ethan. “Hey, man.”
Ethan clenched his fists. The fucker didn’t even recognize him. And he was actually thinking about moving back to this place? Man, the things love did to a guy. “I’ll have two fingers of Makers Mark , please.”
“The same,” Alex said, leaning an elbow on the bar and turning to scope out the bar behind him. “Do you recognize who’s with me, Brad?”
Brad poured their drinks then turned back to them, his lips pursed. “Kind of. I know you, don’t I?”
Well, there was no avoiding it now. Time to fess up. “Yeah. Ethan Pierce, Alex’s little brother.”
“Oh, shit.” He set the drink in front of Ethan, then added some more. “I’m Brad. Do you remember me?”
“It’s hard to forget the guy who shoved me into lockers,” Ethan replied dryly, lifting his glass in salute. “How you been, man?”
Brad’s cheeks heated. “I’m good. And yeah, sorry about that.”
Ethan blinked at him. “Uh, okay. Thanks.”
“See?” Alex murmured, kicking him in the shin. “Change.”
“I’m serious.” Brad leaned on the bar and met Ethan’s eyes. “I have kids now, and the things I did to you? Not fucking cool. I guess fatherhood gives you a new perspective on things.”
Ethan couldn’t believe it. Ashley had been right, and so had Alex. They kept insisting that people change and that he might not find the people he’d hated quite so hateful anymore. And now one of his biggest tormentors was being nice to him? Unbelievable.
“It’s fine. We grew up, right?” Ethan shrugged. “People move on.”
“Or leave all together,” Alex muttered.
“Dude, I get it,” Ethan snapped. “Chill.”
Brad grinned, ignoring Alex all together. “Right. I hear you’re doing IT work now?”
“I am.” Ethan took another drink.
Alex leaned in. “Yeah, but he might be coming back to town, though. What do you think about that?”
“Alex,” Ethan growled. “I’m not.”
“That would be awesome if you did, though.” He swiped the bar clean. “The town always talks about you, you know. How much you’ve done with your life, how much you’ve seen.”
Ethan choked on his drink. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, you’re one of the only ones who actually left this place. Went out and saw the world.”
Ethan swallowed hard. “Thanks, man.”
Ashley was right. The world had changed. But he hadn’t.
Ethan downed the last of his drink. “I have to go finish packing, then I have a flight to catch. You coming or staying, bro?”
“I’m staying—which is what you should be doing.” Alex spun his drink in his hand, not lifting his head. “But, hey. Have a great life in Cali.”
Ethan scowled at the back of his br
other’s head. “I will.”
“Good,” Alex said, sipping his drink as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Don’t run away so fast that you trip and fall on your face.”
Ethan clenched his fists, not bothering to reply. Then he turned on his heel, stalked to the door, and pushed out in to the sunlight. He finished packing, then drove his rental truck down Rehoboth Avenue. He hesitated at the street that led to Ashley’s house, but then stepped on the gas forcefully.
As he watched her house disappear in his rearview mirror, instead of feeling relief, he felt…hell, he didn’t know what he was feeling. All he knew was he didn’t feel the same freedom he usually felt as he drove away from home. This trip had fucked with his head, big time. Everything was all messed up now.
He hated this feeling. Wanted to forget all about this whole fucking town. His brother. His mother. Hell, even Ashley. All of those things had become entwined in some confusing, emotional, tangled web. And it kept trying to pull him back under. But he wouldn’t give in.
It was time to leave this godforsaken town and everyone in it behind him...
Again.
Chapter Eleven
Ashley took a long drink of her wine, leaning against the bar and sighing. There was no use denying it anymore. She might have entered this weekend planning to keep her heart safe and her legs spread, but along the way, something had happened.
She’d wanted more from Ethan…
And he’d done what he does best. He’d walked away.
She was trying not to be hurt, angry, or bitter…but right now? She felt all three of those things, which wasn’t fair. He’d given her what she’d asked for. He hadn’t done anything wrong or unjust. She just hadn’t expected to be served a side of heartache with her carefree, fun weekend of sex.
Go figure.
The first guy that made her want to settle down and be serious wanted nothing to do with her or the town she lived in. She knew they had something special—he knew it, too—but it wasn’t enough to make him want to be with her.
And she had to accept that.
She took another sip of her wine, cringing when the person singing karaoke hit a particularly high note. How could she have forgotten it was karaoke night when she’d agreed to come here with Rhiannon? “This sucks.”
“Yeah, but at least she’s trying,” Rhiannon said, rubbing her ear. “You’ve gotta give her props for that, right?”
“Not the karaoke,” Ashley said. Then she cocked her head at another shrill note. “Okay, maybe the karaoke, too. But I meant the way I’m feeling right now.”
“I’d like to remind you I went down in the record books that this was a bad idea,” Rhiannon said, her voice soft even with the woman caterwauling in the background. “But now that I reminded you of that, I’ll hug you close and kiss it better.”
Ashley rolled her eyes when Rhiannon kissed the top of her head. “What am I? Four?”
“Kisses make anything better,” Rhiannon said, sighing with relief when the woman stopped singing. They both clapped half-assedly and then turned back to the bar. “Maybe that’s what you need. A kiss from a new, hotter guy. One that will make you forget all about Ethan.”
Ashley sighed. Even the thought of moving on felt…wrong. As if she’d be betraying him or something. What the heck was up with that? “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Not ready to hop back up on that man saddle yet?”
“Not yet.” She took another sip, then held her empty glass up to Brad, the bartender. He didn’t notice her, and another girl got up on the stage and sang about moving on from a sick, twisted love. “But I’ll recover. I mean, it was only a weekend, right? How long can such a short time affect me so much? We didn’t even really do anything besides have sex, talk, cuddle, and laugh. And when he held me, I felt safe, happy, and yet on edge at the same time, which doesn’t make much sense unless…” She drifted off, her eyes going wide before she flopped her forehead forward onto her folded arms. “Okay, yeah. I’m fucked.”
“Finally figured it out, huh?” Rhiannon asked, rubbing her back in slow circles.
“Yeah, I think I did.” She lifted her head. “I fell in love with him, didn’t I? That’s why I feel all weepy and shaky now that he’s gone. I miss him because I love him.”
Rhiannon nodded. “I think so, yeah.”
Well, crap. She hadn’t wanted this. Hadn’t wanted to be left behind feeling empty and confused. But it’s what she’d gotten. And here she’d thought she just missed him. No, she freaking loved the guy. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“You could go after him.”
She stiffened and shook her head. “I can’t. I chased after him back in high school and the rejection nearly crushed me. And what I felt then wasn’t nearly as intense as what I feel now. I refuse to be that girl. If he wanted to be with me, he would have stayed.”
“Maybe he just needs a good kick in the ass to make him see how stupid he’d being?”
Ashley snorted. “I don’t think that’ll do anything.” Ashley watched Brad closely. He still hadn’t brought her more wine and man…she needed it, like, yesterday. “I’m not forcing anyone to do what they don’t want to do. He doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Did you tell him you loved him?” Rhiannon asked.
“No, because I just figured it out.” Ashley played with her empty glass, glowering down at it. “And even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t tell him. He wanted a string-free weekend. I’m not tying him down with my stupid feelings.”
“But—”
Ashley shook her head. “No buts. It’s over, and he’s gone.”
“But—” Rhiannon broke off. “Uh, never mind.”
Ashley waved Brad over, and he held a finger up to her. She rested her chin on her hand. “Realized you’re beating a dead horse?”
“Uh, yeah. Something like that,” Rhiannon mumbled, fishing in her purse until she brandished a red lip gloss. “Here, put this on. You look like hell warmed over.”
“Gee, thanks. I love you, too.”
“Put it on,” Rhiannon snapped, shoving it closer.
“God. Fine.” Ashley blinked at her but took the gloss. “But why the hurry?”
“Just do something without arguing for once?” Rhiannon pleaded. “And be quick about it, for the love of God.”
Ashley narrowed her eyes on her best friend and twisted the lid off. “I’ll be your wingman if you want, but I’m not going home with anyone tonight.”
“Are you so sure about that?” A deep voice asked. A voice Ashley recognized better than her own. “Because I’ve been watching you, and I was hoping I could buy you a drink.”
Ashley froze with the lip gloss pressed to the middle of her lower lip, not turning around to face him. What the hell was he still doing here, and what did he want? Another few days with her, maybe?
Well, she wasn’t interested. Not anymore.
She swallowed hard and closed the lip gloss with shaking hands, blotting her lips together and tilting her head at Rhiannon. She took the hint and buzzed off, leaving her and Ethan alone. “You do realize you’re hitting on me again, right? Or is this another accidental flirtation, where I reminded you of me?”
He chuckled. “I know who you are, Ashley. This time, anyway.”
“Lucky me,” she drawled. But her heart was racing at light speed. She still didn’t face him. If she looked at him, she’d be lost. “I thought you left.”
He shifted closer. So close she could feel his heat behind her. She closed her eyes, forcing herself not to lean back on him. “I was going to. I almost did. I even made it all the way to the airport. But then…well, I didn’t board my flight. I’m not ready to leave yet.”
She clenched her teeth, the pain piercing her chest. So her suspicions were right, then. He wanted a little bit more time with her, and she wanted forever. Not freaking fair. “I don’t need a drink. As a matter of fact, I just might go home now. Alone.”
“Wait.”
He caught her hand, squeezing her fingers tight. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m done listening to crappy karaoke,” Ashley said, her voice ringing out way too loud because the girl that had been singing just finished. Ashley’s cheeks heated when a few people turned at her and glared. “Sorry. So sorry,” she said to the couple closest to her. “Yeah. I’m so leaving.”
She grabbed her purse and stood, but Ethan stepped in her way. And she finally looked at him. Big mistake. He wore a green sweater and a pair of khakis, and his dark brown hair was a mess—as if he’d been running his fingers through it all day long. His chocolate eyes were locked on hers, softer than usual, and he had bags under his eyes.
“Don’t leave me. I need to talk to you. I have to tell you why I didn’t get on the plane. Let’s get a drink and find a table to chat at.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She crossed her arms. “We both know how this ends. We both know you’ll stay for a few more days, maybe blow my world a little bit more. And I’ll love every second of it, because you’re you, and I’m me.” She shrugged, twisting her lips a little bit. “But then you’ll run away again, and I’ll be left behind again. I’m done being that girl, Ethan.”
He shook his head and pressed his lips together. “I don’t want you to be that girl, Ash.”
“But yet…I will be.” She lifted her chin. “Why would it be any different than every other time before this? Give me one good reason.”
He caught her hand again. “B-Because I’m different. I don’t want to run away this time. I want to be here with you.”
“For now.” She pulled free. “Look, I care about you, but we already said everything there is to say. You’re not staying, and I’m not going. End of story.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “What if I stayed? Would you give me a chance, then?”
“Why would you want to do that?” Her heart picked up speed. “You hate it here. You’d be miserable.”
He dragged his hand through his hair. “I did, but I realized you’re right. This place isn’t as bad as I thought it was. Now, I want to be here. I want to be with you. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not running.”
Kiss Me at Midnight (Entangled Flaunt) Page 9