by Grey, Blair
“Nothing to be worried about,” I told Rachel. “Just a bit of a respiratory infection. He’ll need lots of fluids and a lot of sleep, but he’ll bounce back in no time. I’ll just write him a prescription and have it sent right over to one of the pharmacies that we partner with, I’ll give you the address, so you can get some medicine for him and he should be all set.”
Relief crossed Rachel’s face. “I’m so glad to hear that,” she said. She gave a small laugh. “I know it’s silly, but every time he’s even the slightest bit sick, I feel like, I don’t know, he’s going to die or something. That must sound stupid.”
I laughed and gave her a hug, knowing that her nerves must have been on edge all morning. “That’s not stupid at all,” I told her. “To be honest, I was pretty nervous when you guys showed up here this morning. I thought there might be something seriously wrong.”
Rachel grimaced. “I am really sorry that we woke you up.” She paused. “Why don’t I run to grab Gavin’s medicine, and I’ll stop on the way back to get muffins from the bakery on the corner? You could take a shower in the meantime.”
“What, are you saying I stink?” I joked.
“Nah, you just don’t look quite awake yet!” Rachel said.
I grinned. “You’re probably right,” I said. I glanced into the living room, but Gavin was curled up on the couch with his eyes closed even though one of his favorite cartoons was on TV. He probably wasn’t going to move anytime soon, and we had him all set up with a bell in case he needed to call for one of us. “Sounds like a plan,” I said, turning back to Rachel.
“All right, I’ll be back in a jiff,” Rachel said, already heading for the door.
Later, we sat out on my balcony eating our muffins and sipping coffee, both of our seats turned toward the open door so that we could see if Gavin made even the slightest move. But his medicine had made him sleepy, and he was pretty out of it.
“Thanks again for being here for us, always,” Rachel said softly. “I mean it, I don’t know what I would do without you most days.”
I shook my head. “It’s all you, Mama,” I told her. “You’re the one who managed to raise a perfect angel.”
“You’ll have one, too, someday,” Rachel said. “Or many, I don’t know.”
I laughed. “I’d settle for one,” I said. I couldn’t help it; the more I helped out with Gavin, the more I wanted all those special motherhood moments for myself. Sure, it was sometimes terrifying. Gavin wasn’t even mine, and I worried about him when he was sick, so I could only imagine what it was like when the real mother-bear instincts kicked in.
But at the same time, the rewards of motherhood were ten times what I could imagine, no matter how close I was to Rachel and Gavin. I knew she must be damned proud of her kid. He was a good one. And smart, too. He was already learning to read and do math and all sorts of different things.
“Got to find you a man,” Rachel said, shaking her head with a grin on her face.
For a second, I almost told her about the guy the other night at the hospital. Marcus. But I didn’t know why. Sure, I had met a man, and sure, he had been attractive. He’d also come in there with a nasty knife cut and a bad attitude. He might have charmed me by the end, but nothing was ever going to come of it. Especially because I refused to look in his file to get his phone number.
There was no reason to tell Rachel about him.
Instead, I just shrugged. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” I admitted. “I’m wondering if maybe it would make sense to just do it without the man.”
Rachel frowned. “I don’t think it works that way, no matter how badly you want one,” she said.
I rolled my eyes, but I had to laugh. “Remember, I’m a nurse,” I said. “I know how all of it works. But I’ve been considering artificial insemination.”
“What?” Rachel asked in shock.
I was quiet for a moment. “I’m only getting older,” I finally said. “And I’m not sure that I could ever find a man that I would be okay with being around, not for the long term. I don’t think I’m ever going to find something like what you and Victor have.”
“Oh, honey,” Rachel said sadly. “I’m sure you’re going to find the right guy someday. Someday soon, even. You’re a good person. You help others. Karma and all of that, right? The universe will sort you out.”
I grinned at her, not wanting to really bring the mood down, especially not when she was already worrying about Gavin today. “Aren’t you the one who was just saying that maybe my standards are too high?” I asked. “You can’t agree that I’m going to find the perfect man while also doubting my ability to choose the right guy for me.”
Rachel laughed and held up both hands. “Okay, maybe not,” she agreed. “But I bet you can find someone who at least fits my standards. You just have to go out and meet more guys. We still haven’t had that girls’ night that you promised me.”
I gave Gavin a pointed look, where he was still lying on my couch. “Are you about to suggest leaving your poor, sick baby boy with a babysitter in his current condition?” I asked teasingly.
Rachel smiled. “Well, maybe not,” she agreed. “But one of these days, the stars are going to align for us, and we are going out.”
“I’ve already agreed to that, so there’s no point in me promising it again,” I said, giving a jokingly aggrieved sigh.
9
Marcus
Wednesday
Even though I didn’t want to cross Ray, I was still frustrated at his lack of action on anything. It was Wednesday, and despite the veiled threat from the sheriff, despite everything we’d seen from the Unknowns, there was still no reaction. We still were doing jack shit in response. And it was still bugging me.
I spent Wednesday morning practically pacing a hole in my living room floor as I tried to think of something I could do. Ray had as much as warned me not to have anything else to do with the Unknowns without his say-so. Whatever grace period I’d had, I’d blown it. With that stupid guy outside their hideout. It still irked me that I hadn’t gotten a single piece of information out of the dude. I didn’t even know who he was or what his role was in the club.
I wondered if I approached Ray and suggested that I try again, this time promising to take the twins with me, if Ray would let me have another crack at them. But I couldn’t even start to formulate a plan there. I just didn’t want the twins to blunder into this with me, plain and simple. And if Ray trusted me, I didn’t see why I should have to take them.
I thought about calling Cameron and having another chat with him. Maybe he would see some angle that I didn’t. But I knew that if he had any plans, he would have come to me about them. If I hadn’t heard from him, it meant he was just as stumped on how to proceed as I was.
No, I needed to get Ray on my side, somehow. I needed to get him to see that violence was the only way any of this shit was going to get solved. Especially now that the sheriff wanted to root us out of town as well. But I wasn’t sure what to say to Ray to get him to agree. And I knew that if I went in there hot-headed and guns blazing, Ray was never going to listen to a word that I had to say.
I had to calm myself down first, but I couldn’t seem to do that either.
Finally, I decided that I had to get out of my apartment. I needed to pay my hospital bill as well, speaking of the Friday night incident, and since I was planning on paying in cash, what better way to do that than to walk over there and do it? It was as good a way as any to get out of the house. And maybe while I was there, I might run into Leila again.
I knew that the odds of her being on duty were pretty slim. The hospital wasn’t that small; they had to have a number of nurses working there. It wasn’t like I was hitting the same shift, either. They probably had different nurses working on Wednesday afternoons than they did on Friday evenings. What’s more, even if she was there, she’d probably be in with a client, not just hanging out where she’d see whoever was paying their bills.
I didn’t
know why I cared, anyway. She had made it pretty clear that she wasn’t wholly interested in me, and I still wasn’t sure how I had felt about that advice she’d given me. Who was she to remind me that shit was going to catch up to me if I kept involved with the kind of thing that led to me getting stabbed with a knife? Like I didn’t know that already.
But something about the way she’d worked on me told me that she did know. She had seen some shit in her time there at the hospital. She wasn’t afraid of it, either. And I liked that.
When I got to the hospital, there was no sign of her, and I felt an irrational flash of disappointment course through me even though I hadn’t expected that I might see her. I went to the desk and settled my bill. Then, as I turned around, sticking my wallet back in my pocket, there she was.
I couldn’t help the grin that broke out on my face. “Hey, Leila!” I said, waving at her.
She looked surprised to see me. Another emotion flitted across her face, too, there for just an instant, but then she settled on suspicion. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “You didn’t get yourself hurt again, did you?”
“Nope,” I said, shaking my head. Even her exasperated, almost condescending tone couldn’t dampen my spirits. “I just came to settle my bill. Are you getting off duty?”
Leila paused for a minute like she was trying to decide what to tell me. “I was just heading to lunch, actually,” she said slowly. “How’s your arm, though?”
“I’ve been taking care of it,” I promised her. “Changing the bandages and whatnot. Not getting it wet. All the good stuff.”
Leila looked like she didn’t believe me. She looked toward the doors and then sighed, beckoning toward me. “Come on, let’s have a look at it,” she said, leading me back to one of the rooms.
I smirked at her back, wondering if she was really concerned about my arm or if she just wanted to spend another couple of minutes chatting with me. I, of course, wasn’t opposed to spending all the time in the world with her. I liked our banter; I had to admit. She kept me interested in what she was going to say next, something that most of the guys from the MC failed miserably at.
Leila carefully peeled off the bandages, examining how the wound was healing up. “It’s okay,” she said. “But it could use a little more cleaning. Are you okay with that?”
“Whatever you have to do, doc,” I said, winking when she started to protest, again, that she wasn’t a doctor. I thought it was cute, hearing how worried she was that someone might mistake her for a doctor. But I could tell she was all about the professionalism, and I was sure she didn’t think it was professional for me to call her that.
It made me want to keep doing it.
I held still while she cleaned out my arm. I had taken a lower dose of painkillers that morning, and now I almost regretted it, as I tried not to let her see how much she was hurting me with the disinfectant and her gentle but painful dabs at the area where the stitches were.
We were both silent while she worked, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. She finally finished, wrapping bandages back around the newly cleaned cut. She looked up, seeming surprised at how close our faces were. “Just make sure you keep changing those bandages,” she said, her voice breathless.
I wanted to pull her close to me and kiss her until she was really out of breath, but I could sense that if I did that now, I would be kissing all my chances with her goodbye. Instead, I smiled at her. “How about I take you out for lunch?” I suggested. “You said you were headed out anyway, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” Leila said, frowning and chewing on her lower lip. “But I don’t have a lot of time. There’s this sandwich place down the street; I was just planning on going by there.”
“Sounds great,” I said easily. “Let’s go.”
“Okay,” Leila said, seeming almost bewildered. But she led the way out of the hospital. And she was the one who started the conversation once we were seated with our food. “So you know what I do. But what is it that you do?”
“A little bit of everything,” I said, shrugging. “Call me a jack of all trades.”
Leila rolled her eyes at that. “And a master of none?”
“I guess not,” I said. “Is that a bad thing?”
Leila paused, thinking that over. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I guess it depends on what sort of business you’re caught up in.”
“Fair enough,” I said, knowing she was probably thinking back to Friday night and my knife wound. And that was a side of my business, so it wasn’t as though I could protest about it. But I didn’t want her to think of me like that for some reason. “Most of what I do is computer-based stuff. Consultancy for big companies, that sort of thing.”
“Consulting on what?”
“A little bit of everything,” I joked. I shrugged. “Technical solutions, finances, whatever they’ll pay me for. And when it’s not things they’re paying me for, I’ve dabbled in coding and a bunch of other things, too.”
“Interesting,” Leila said, and it sounded like she really meant it, not like she was just trying to find some way to respond.
“What about you; what do you do in your free time?” I asked. “When you’re not saving the lives of the many idiots of Las Cruces.”
Leila grinned crookedly. “I do a lot of sleeping,” she said.
I laughed. “Come on, that can’t be all that you do. Not that I’m opposed to the idea of you in a bed.” I paused. “Unless, of course, you have a boyfriend.”
“No, no boyfriend,” Leila giggled. She shrugged. “I have a really weird schedule, so I can take all the sleep I can get. Other than that, I spend a lot of time with my friend Rachel. She’s got an adorable little four-year-old son, and I guess they’re both sort of like my family now. I’ve known Rachel forever.”
“Always good to have family, or at least people to stand in as family,” I said seriously, thinking about the guys in Red Eyes. I didn’t want to think about the MC and our problems at the moment, though. I definitely wasn’t going to talk about any of that with Leila. Something told me she wouldn’t approve.
Suddenly, there was a beeping noise. “Shoot,” Leila muttered, looking down at her lap. “That’s my pager.”
I chuckled. “What year is it?” I quipped. “You still have a pager?”
“It’s for work,” Leila said, rolling her eyes, but I could tell she was amused as well. “Speaking of which, that means that I have to get back.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Because there are that many people coming into the hospital at noon on a Wednesday?”
“No, but we have some senior programs set up for the afternoon, and I have to make sure everything is ready. Sounds like they’re having a hard time locating some of the stuff we need, so they need me.”
“You’re their superwoman?” I asked.
“Something like it,” Leila said, smiling wearily. “I don’t know how they’d ever function without me.” Then she frowned. “That’s a really horrible thing to say.”
“No, it isn’t,” I said easily. I shrugged at her. “I can tell that you work hard. And what’s more, you seem like you have a pretty solid head on your shoulders. That means that you’re invaluable in a working situation.”
She blushed and ducked her head. “Thanks again for buying my lunch.”
“Anytime,” I said seriously. I caught her wrist as she stood up. “I really mean that,” I said. “Anytime. I’d like to see you again.”
Leila looked down at me, conflicting emotions flitting across her face. Finally, she shook her head. “I can’t do that, Marcus,” she said. “You seem like a nice guy. A little full of yourself, maybe, but a nice guy. But I’m super busy. And whatever you think could come of this, it just won’t.”
“Why not?” I pressed.
“Just because,” Leila said, shaking her head. “I really have to get back to work, though.”
“Okay,” I said gently, letting go of her wrist. She hurried off, but she glanced b
ack over her shoulder at me as she left the restaurant, and I counted that as a win.
She wanted me; that much was clear. Between the way she had led me back to one of the examination rooms at the hospital to check on my arm, to the way that she had looked at me just now, I knew I hadn’t seen the last of her.
She was just playing hard to get. And I liked that. Enough so that I could feel my dick twitch with interest in my pants again, and I was already thinking back to my masturbation session from Friday night.
I didn’t know exactly what it was about her that got my blood so hot (but in a good way, not like the way it boiled in reaction to the Unknowns). But whatever it was, I wanted to see her again. And I was going to find a way to make that happen.
10
Leila
Thursday
On Thursday, during my break, I sat in the staff room sipping tepid coffee and staring down at the pamphlets we had about artificial insemination. They listed everything I would need to know about the procedure, including prices.
Could I do this? Would it feel like I had somehow cheated?
I wasn’t worried about what would happen once I was pregnant. I might not have a man by my side to go through all the stages of pregnancy with me, to help me out around the apartment or to rub my sore ankles. But Rachel would help me out as much as she could, and anyway, I was a strong and independent woman. I always had been.
And once the baby was born, I’d obviously need to look at scaling back my work duties. Taking on fewer night shifts, that sort of thing. But I knew there were plenty of resources here at the hospital to help out us new moms. All part of the employment package. I didn’t have to worry about that.
The main question was: did I really want to do this? What if I got artificially inseminated, only to meet the perfect guy the next week? That was just the sort of things that the universe might do to me.