by Dyanne Davis
* * *
“You look beautiful,” her mother said in a whispery soft voice that still carried the remnants of her tears.
“Thanks, Mom,” Janice said. “You know this isn’t what I thought my wedding day would be like.”
“What do you mean?” her mother asked, studying her.
“I didn’t know I would be this happy when I agreed to marry Simon, that I would know without a doubt that this was the right thing for me to do.”
“Are you that sure?”
“I’m that sure. I don’t know how I ever thought before that Simon and I were with each other just for convenience.”
“You must have been blind.”
“Yeah, I must have been,” Janice agreed, turning to admire her reflection in the mirror. “You know, if Simon had not invited Tommy to the announcement of his gift for black bookstores, I don’t know if any of this would have happened. “
“I know you once dreamed of marrying Tommy. Did you picture yourself happy when you thought of marrying him?”
“I pictured everything that I did with Tommy as happy. I didn’t know any better,” Janice smiled. “Now I do.”
“Are you really sure that you have no feelings left for Tommy?”
Janice let out a breath before turning to face her mother. “Somewhere inside of me there will always be feelings for Tommy, but they’re mixed.” She saw the worried frown begin on her mother’s face and rushed to finish. “But I’m not in love with him, Mom. I think about him sometimes and what we had and I think of it fondly. But I don’t want to replace Simon with Tommy if that’s what you’re asking me.” She kissed her mother’s cheek. “Don’t worry, if Simon had never asked me to marry him I still would not have wanted a future with Tommy. It is because of Tommy that I realized that I no longer have to be afraid of loving someone. So in a way, we have Tommy to thank for my happiness.” Janice grinned, then laughed as the thought took hold.
“I’ll bet you money that Simon won’t thank him.”
Janice laughed. “I won’t take that bet because I know he won’t either. Tommy has been badmouthing Simon to anyone who’ll listen.”
“Don’t forget, baby, just in case Tommy does come up with something, we all have skeletons in our closest.”
“Do you, Mama?”
“Of course I do. So do you.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“Are you going to tell me yours?” Carol Adams laughed and hugged her daughter to her. “You look just beautiful, baby.”
* * *
Simon stood under the arbor in the back yard and waited for his bride. He barely glanced at the colorful blooms that decorated the entire yard or smelled their perfume. There was one thing and one thing only that had meaning for Simon and that was his marrying Mary Jo Adams. Her parents had insisted on her using her birth name for the ceremony. In the end he’d sided with them. It had surprised the hell out of him when she’d agreed.
The music started and Janice walked out to the sound of Kelly Clarkson singing ‘I Can’t Believe.’ His heartbeat increased and he could feel his face splitting into a grin as he stared at her. She lifted her eyes, snagged his gaze, and he grinned even wider.
He looked briefly toward Harold, who was his best man, and ignored the worried frown that furrowed his brow. Nothing would happen to mar their happiness, he wouldn’t allow it.
“Hey you.” Janice smiled somewhat shyly at him as her father delivered her to his side.
“Hi yourself,” he answered, feeling his heart melt with love for her. Today he wasn’t a ruthless business man. He was a total wuss and he didn’t give a damn. He glanced around at the thirty guests assembled and grinned.
And then he kissed his bride.
He intended to just press her lips softly, but he couldn’t stop himself. Once he tasted her sweetness, he had no choice but to pry her lips apart and suck on the nectar that was Janice. His heart hammered in his chest. God, how he loved her.
“Would you two cut it out and wait for the ceremony?”
He felt Janice giggle in his mouth and pulled back to laugh at her.“Are you laughing at my kisses already?”
“No, darling, I’m laughing at you.”
Simon grinned, wanting to strip her naked, make love to her right there. Only because he was claiming her as his bride did he have the patience to wait for the vows.
Simon searched her eyes for any sign of doubts or hesitation, and he saw none. “I love you,” he whispered between the minister’s words, just wanting to hear her say it back to him.
“I love you too.” She grinned and owned his heart completely.
The rest of the ceremony was a blur, as was the reception. He’d suddenly turned into a possessive, jealous man and hated that his new bride was expected to mingle with the guests. Even though they were few in number it seemed that every second someone was kissing her. Simon wanted to shove them away from her, keep her to himself. But he resisted the urge.
Janice kissed another well-wisher and looked up at Simon’s frowning face. She grinned and began walking toward him. Her shoe caught on a stone and she felt herself tripping forward. Trying to right herself, she did the opposite and began to fall backward. Damn! she thought, just what a bride needs, to fall flat not only in a pristine white wedding gown, but a one-of-a-kind one.
But she didn’t fall flat.
Janice turned her head to thank her rescuer and saw Simon’s grinning face. “You caught me! How? You were in front of me.”
“You needed me.”
“But how?”
Simon brought his shoulder up in a shrug. “I don’t know. I could just picture you landing and someone snapping a picture. I couldn’t let that happen. Like I said, you needed me. I will always be there when you need me, I promise.” He smiled tenderly. “I love you.”
“I know you mean it, Simon, and I trust you to keep your promise.”
His resolve to remain patient ended. He lifted her in his arms, cursing the mounds of slippery fabric that complicated his effort.
“Simon, just where do you think you’re going?” Janice asked as he started inside with her in his arms.
“You don’t know?” he asked, his voice cocky and filled with lust.
“I know that we’re in the middle of our wedding reception and it’s rude for us to just leave.”
“And would you rather not be rude to our guests or allow your husband to show you how much he wants you?”
“You know the answer. But can’t you wait for a little while?”
He stopped. “I’m afraid not, darling. If you don’t agree to some privacy, in five minutes I will make love to you right here on the lawn for all to see.” He made a move as if to put her down and she clung to him as he’d hoped she would. “You won’t miss the party, I promise.” he whispered into her ear.
“If you’re going to be quick, then maybe it won’t be worth my time to leave.”
Simon looked down into her smiling face and laughed. “That’s what you think,” he said, carrying her into the house, ignoring the calls and cheers, and continued with her into their bedroom.
After unbuttoning two dozen tiny buttons without actually freeing her from the dress, he was ready to rip the dress off her. He shook his head. “I don’t know if I have the patience to fight any longer with this damn dress.” He gave her a sly smile, pulled the mound of fabric upward, and dove under.
Taken by surprise, Janice laughed so hard that her body shook. “Simon, there’s a zipper.”
“Where? I didn’t see one.”
“You’re not supposed to see one. Now come on out and let’s do this the right way.”
“Actually I’m having fun right where I am,” Simon answered, and he was.
“I think it would be better if you help me take this dress off.”
His flesh jerked at the word better and he came from beneath her dress. “Why didn’t you tell me there was a zipper?”
“Because it was so much fun watchin
g you fight with the buttons.”
“You want to play with me, I see,” Simon said. “Where is the zipper? I don’t see anything.”
“You’re not supposed to, it’s invisible.”
“Where is it?”
She took his hand, and slid it inside the back of her dress. His fingers felt hot enough to scorch. As he slowly unzipped her, she felt his warm breath wash over her back and she shivered.
“Simon we really did it, we’re married.”
“I know.” He answered, his voice husky and filled with need. “For awhile I didn’t know if we’d make it. There seemed to be so many obstacles in our path.” He slid the dress from her body.
“Tommy was never competition, Simon.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Why did it feel like it?”
She was facing him now. “We can spend our time talking about Tommy, or we can do something else,” she said, and began removing his tux. “Which do you want?” Her hand moved downward and she unzipped him and reached inside.
He groaned and closed his eyes to savor the sensation. She was intentionally torturing him. He removed his own clothes, then finished undressing his bride and stared at her in awe.
“I love you, Mrs. Kohl,” he said, feeling the words deeply. The knowledge of how much he loved her pierced him and a pang of regret for having lived so long without such love washed over him. He pushed it away. He had it now. The past was just that, the past.
They made love as though it were the first time, touching each other slowly, tentatively. “I promise I’m going to make you happy,” Simon said as he felt her writhing beneath him, about to give in to her need.
“You already have,” Janice said, clutching him to her.
* * *
“I can’t believe it’s over.”
“Just the trip, baby, not the honeymoon,” Simon said. He took a look around the plane and smiled. “We’ll do it again.”
“You only get one first time, Simon,” Janice teased.
“I don’t believe you. Every time we make love now, it’s like it’s the first time.” He watched as her eyes widened and she smiled. He kissed her right there while his crew looked on.
An hour later the limo was depositing them at the door of the mansion. He turned toward his bride. “Welcome home, Mrs. Kohl,” he said, and scooped her up into his arms.
For the next four months they lived as though they were still on their honeymoon. Simon worked minimally, doing what he needed to do from home. Janice did the same, grateful that she still had six months left on her deadline. She wasn’t in the mood for writing, nor did it seem she had any time.
She’d talked to Tommy several times, ignoring his anger at her for marrying Simon, for not spending the time he thought she should for the bookstores. But she wasn’t apologizing to anyone. She was doing exactly what she wanted to do, spending time with her new husband.
Janice was thinking of this when she went to her office to check for faxes. She was surprised to find Simon sitting at her desk with her day planner spread out before him.
“What are you doing?” she said as she came up to him and kissed the back of his neck.
“Just helping you out.”
“How?”
“I decided to help you out with your schedule.”
Janice pulled back and stared at her husband. She glanced at the black marker in his hand that he was using to cross out her appointments. “Did it occur to you to check with me before doing this?”
“I didn’t think you’d mind,” Simon said, looking up, slowly sensing that he’d made a wrong move. He smiled. “Are we about to have our first fight as husband and wife?”
Simon swiveled to face his wife, his look telling her that fighting was not on his mind. He had an erection. It seemed he’d had one constantly since the day they were married.
“Did I get any faxes?” Janice asked as she moved toward the empty fax machine.
She was annoyed. He could easily see this and while she didn’t necessarily want to fight, Simon realized that for the first time in their short marriage, his arousal had not sent her into a fit of need. Simon scratched his chin. That wouldn’t do at all.
“Who were you expecting a fax from?” he asked quietly.
“My editor.”
“None from her. You did get one from Tommy.” He watched her as her muscles tensed and she turned to face him.
“Do you mind if I see it?” Janice marched back toward him and now she was a bit more than annoyed.
Simon reached for the paper and handed it to her. “It’s just his thoughts on what he wants you to do for the next couple of months.”
Janice walked closer and peered down at her day planner. “Were you planning out my life?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw and he knew the answer to his earlier question. Yes, they were indeed about to have their first fight as husband and wife. Still, if he handled it just right, maybe he could savage something. Maybe he could still make love to her on her desk as he’d intended.
“You’ve been giving me Tommy’s schedules for months now to see if there were conflicts with my plans for us. I don’t see what the problem is now.”
“The problem is that before I gave it to you. That’s the difference. I asked for your input. This time you took it upon yourself to decide for me. You can’t do that.”
“My mistake,” Simon said. “I thought I could. I thought that as your husband I had that right.” He watched as Janice ran her hand around her neck. He squinted at her. “What are you doing?”
“Checking for the collar.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?” he asked.
“Do I sound amused?”
Simon turned away, feeling the hard-on leave. He glanced at the desk. Okay, he thought, we won’t be making love on it in the foreseeable future. Decision time: He could do what she wanted, acknowledge that he should have waited until she consulted him, or he could do what he’d wanted to do for months. He decided to do what he wanted to do.
“I don’t want you working with Tommy Strong anymore.”
There, he’d said it. He took a deep breath and let it out. He watched as her brown eyes filled with fire. He’d almost forgotten that look. Their truce was about to come to a bloody end. He was aware of that but he wasn’t backing down.
“What are you talking about?” Janice said between clenched teeth
“I was speaking English and I know very well that you understood me. I think I’ve put up with this nonsense long enough. As your husband I’m telling you that I’m sick of Tommy Strong manipulating your life. He thinks he has the right to tell you and me what and when we can do something.”
“And you want to take over that role, is that it?” Janice said, hands on her hips. “Listen, Tommy doesn’t pull my strings and neither do you. I make my choices on what I can and can’t do. I’ve been asking for your input.”
“And I’m giving you my input. I don’t want you working with him anymore. He hasn’t even made a pretense of being civil to me since we got married. He’s gotten more demanding of your time.”
“So what? In the four months we’ve been home I’ve barely done any of the things he’s wanted.” Janice sighed. “Simon, where is this coming from? What have I done to make you feel this way? I know the answer to that,” she continued. “Nothing. I’ve done absolutely nothing.”
She was right; she’d done nothing. But Harold had called him just an hour before and told him that Tommy was stepping up his campaign to discredit him.
“You haven’t done anything,” he sighed.
“Then why are you acting like this?”
“Tell me, as a husband how am I supposed to act? Should I want you spending time with a man you’ve been intimate with?” he shrugged. “A man that you loved?”
“But he’s not the man I love now, Simon, you are.”
Simon licked his lips, then bit down. Something inside him told him to let it go but he co
uldn’t. He didn’t want to. Every time he saw Tommy Strong’s name it reminded him of his mistake in bringing the man into their lives. He wanted to eradicate that mistake.
“I don’t want you working with him.”
“What about the bookstores?”
“I don’t care.” He saw her eyes narrow. “And neither did you,” he added, “until Tommy told you that you should.”
Janice readjusted her stance. “I was wrong about that. I should have been taking more of an interest all along.”
Janice tapped her fingers on the side of her hip, breathing fast. This was crazy. She didn’t want to fight with Simon. She’d tried telling him that there was no reason for him to feel insecure. She snatched her planner from the desk, ripping the page in the process.
“You have no right to touch my things. I don’t come into your office and fiddle with your schedule.”
“I don’t have an ex blocking out all of my time.”
“Neither do I.”
“Then you won’t mind that I made sure of that.”
“I do mind.”
“Why?”
Janice felt as though she were talking to a child, a pouty, adorable, sexy child, but a child. She sighed.
“Don’t do that.”
“What else can I do? You are making me crazy for no reason. We went to bed last night with no problems between us. I come down now and find you acting like a madman. What happened?”
He pointed toward the fax.
“There has to be more. Simon, tell me what’s going on with the two of you.”
“Can’t I just tell you that as your husband I don’t want you working with him? Can’t you just respect that?”
Janice looked down at her planner, to the places where Simon had scribbled over and crossed out. “I’m willing to compromise,” she offered. “We can go over this together and decide which dates I can keep and which I can’t.”