by Dyanne Davis
“You’re behaving a hell of a lot differently than you were when I first saw the two of you together. Maybe if I had seen this then…Oh hell, I would have still gone after you,” Tommy grinned.
“It took me an awfully long time to thaw. I was afraid that we would end up where we are right now. I know now that this isn’t my worst nightmare. Losing my husband is. Now that I’ve gotten rid of the wall around my heart I have no plans on rebuilding it. I couldn’t if I tried. I love Simon, flaws and all. I’m going to let him believe his worst fears.”
“That you slept with me?”
“Yes. In fact,” Janice paused, then decided to say it anyway, “I thought of going through with it, of going to bed with you. Afterwards I was going to tell you I didn’t want you. I was going to do it to make you feel like a fool, to hurt you. But that was before I knew I owed you an apology. I wanted to use you for hurting Simon. I don’t want that anymore. Besides…”
“Besides, you can’t stand the thought of another man’s hands on your body.”
She smiled. “How did you know?”
“I know you.”
“Wish me luck. Now come on, let’s order lunch, my treat.”
“It really is over isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is. How do you feel?”
“I’m okay with that.” He smiled at her. “You have no idea what your coming here means to me. Thanks.”
Janice smiled. She did know what it meant. She had a son now and she knew what it meant.
* * *
There was one more thing Janice needed to do and that was to ensure a quiet place for Simon to blow his stack. The mansion was always filled with staff but tonight she intended for there to be only her family. She smiled as she thought it. Mack, Simon and she really were a family. And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure they remained one.
Janice’s next stop was the Edwardian. She secured six rooms for two nights for the staff and paid cash, making sure to include more than enough for any expenses. She wanted the management to know that it didn’t have to worry about payment. She wasn’t doing this with Simon’s funds but with her own restored accounts.
When she reached home, she called the staff together and held out the keys. “I have rooms for each of you at the Edwardian for two nights.” She looked at the chauffeur. “I want you all to pack an overnight bag, take the limo and go. I want to be alone with the baby and Mr. Kohl.”
“How soon do you want us to leave?” Marcus asked.
“In the next half hour.”
“I haven’t prepared dinner,” Elizabeth muttered.
“I can cook. Please don’t worry about us. Have a good time.” She held out the keys and one by one the staff took them. “Whatever you want, charge it to the room and it will be taken care of. I’ve already made sure of that. This is my treat,” she said, hoping that would stop them from calling to check with Simon. In less than half the time she’d asked them to leave, the staff was heading out to the limo.
Marcus came back. “Mrs. Kohl, are you going to be all right?”
In all of this time none of the staff had ever asked her if it were true that Simon had hit her. Now it was time to set that story straight.
“I’m going to be fine. Simon never hit me, he never would,” she said, smiling. “Don’t worry about me, but thank you. We’re going to be fine.”
“Will you still be here when we return?”
“That’s my plan.” Janice said. “Say a prayer for us.”
“I will, Mrs. Kohl,” Marcus answered and walked out the door and to the waiting limo.
So the man knew a hell of a lot more than he let on. Why shouldn’t he? The entire world had been made privy to their fight. She intended to make sure they would be soon be privy to their love.
* * *
Running his hand over his face Simon hung up the phone and heaved a sigh of relief before turning toward Harold. He shook his head, deciding to suck it up, to tell Harold that at least one of his evil deeds had been reversed.
“Was that that bastard Eric?” Harold asked.
Simon smiled at Harold’s open dislike of Eric. “Yes, that was him. I finally got him to sell me the leases.”
“How?”
“I told him the truth. When he learned the stores weren’t a part of any big project I’m working on but a part of my insanity, he relented and allowed me to buy them as was the original plan.”
“And?”
“And I’m going to deed them to the people who were leasing them. I’m going to give them the stores, lock, stock and barrel.” Simon grinned and shook his head at his usage of the old cliché.
“How much?” Harold asked.
“You don’t want to know.”
“Last time it was for ten times more than what he’d paid. Is that what you had to pay to get them back?”
“A bit more,” Simon admitted. His eyes met Harold’s and he shrugged. “Penance for my arrogant and evil ways.”
“You’re not evil, Simon.”
Simon smiled but didn’t answer.
“You’re not. You were just going about everything the wrong way, being a bit stubborn, hotheaded and a bastard, but you weren’t evil.”
Simon grinned at the look of pride on Harold’s face. That alone was worth the price he’d paid for the stores. Having his godfather’s respect back was priceless. “I’m glad to know you think so highly of me.” He rose and walked toward Harold, holding out his hand, clasping Harold’s hand in his own and patting him on the shoulder. “I have to go home and play with my son and spend some time with my wife while she’s still my wife.”
“You can change that, Simon. Just ask her to stay, tell her that you’ve undone one wrong.”
“I didn’t buy the leases to gain points with my wife. That was one act I never should have initiated. I didn’t need you to tell me that.”
“When is she planning to leave?”
“I won’t know until I read about it,” Simon said, not bothering to explain to Harold that he’d taken to reading Janice’s book about the two of them. He glanced at his watch. “I really have to go. Janice keeps Mack up until I get home and it’s getting pretty late for him.”
Simon closed his eyes and smiled as he pictured his son’s sweet face. “I never knew I could love so much,” he said. “If I tried to undo my wrongs you might say it’s because I never want Mack to be ashamed of me.”
Simon walked toward the door, then turned back. “I’ve never told you thank you for all that you’ve done for me, for being like a father to me. I love you, old man.”
Chapter Twenty-six
Janice looked over the words she’d typed. This was the last chapter. She was praying that her plan would work. For the past few weeks she’d been aware that Simon was reading the manuscript and she’d also been aware that he thought it was true. Hopefully her plan wouldn’t ricochet. Hopefully this would be the vehicle that would enable them to repair their marriage and make it stronger.
She looked over the words again, wishing a less drastic approach would be enough but she knew it wouldn’t be. Sooner or later Simon’s jealousy would rear its ugly head again and she would spout off things that she didn’t mean. No, it would be better for them to have the mother of all fights and get it over with. Win or lose, she was going out in the only manner she knew how, swinging. They’d begun their relationship fighting and if it were to be saved, it would be saved by fighting.
“Why are you here,” he asked me. “Have you finally realized that we belong together?”
“Yes, I realize that we have unfinished business.”
“What about your husband?”
“He has what he wants,” I answered, “He has a son. “
“Tell me why you’re here. If you want me to touch you you’re going to have to tell me to do it.”
I looked at the man from my past. “I want you to touch me. I came for you to make love to me. Please,” I begged, moaning, “make love to me.”
>
He pulled me to his hard body and I felt the steel of his embrace as he held me tightly and shoved his tongue into my mouth. I waited for the sweetness, the wanting, the lust, the need, but it didn’t come. What came instead was a picture of my husband standing in the doorway of the mansion looking at me with our baby son cradled in his arms. His pain was etched so clearly on his face that I almost cried. I closed my eyes to the images. This was my destiny.
It was over quickly. He rolled over to his side. “It’s over, isn’t it? You’re not in love with me.”
“I haven’t been in love with you in twelve years.”
“Then why did you sleep with me?”
He looked at me and I knew he had his answer. Still, confusion clouded his eyes. I shrugged my shoulder and stared at him. A mixture of pity and compassion filled me.
“You used me,” he said. “How is that going to help you? Are you planning on going back to your husband?”
“I am. You used me to hurt my husband and I used you to save my marriage. You thought the information you gave me would destroy us but it didn’t. I’ve tried to think of a way to prove to both of you that I’m no longer in love with you. I haven’t been in love with you for a long time.”
“What if he doesn’t forgive you? What will you do?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I’m just hoping that this works. I love him and I don’t know how else to prove it. Now that I’ve done the thing that he’s feared the most it won’t have the power to hurt him any more.” With that I walked away. I had no idea how it would go but at least I’d done something. The next move would be up to my husband and God willing, we’ll be able to put the infidelity behind us and start again. What more do I have to lose?
The End
Janice typed the words at the bottom of the page of her manuscript and printed it out. Simon would read what she’d written and he would believe it. She needed him to believe it in order for them to let it go. She had to prove to him that he had been right in the beginning. Then they could forgive each other anything and get stronger from the experience.
Janice placed the pages haphazardly on her desk, turned out the light and closed the door. She knew Simon wouldn’t go into her computer for the information but he would read the typewritten pages.
She heard Simon come in the door, heard him downstairs calling out to the staff. She kissed Mack and laid him in his crib, turned on the baby monitor, and marched downstairs.
“What’s going on?” Simon asked. “I thought you were going to Tommy.”
“I did.”
“Then why are you back? He didn’t want you?”
She ignored him. “I gave the staff the evening off. I’m making dinner.” Janice saw his mouth open quickly in surprise and saw when he made a quick recovery.
“What’s going on? Should I hire a food taster?”
“We need to talk tonight. What do you want for dinner?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Simon couldn’t begin to figure out what was going on. “I need to take a shower so whatever you want to make will be fine. Where’s Mack?”
“He’s sleeping.”
Simon glanced at his watch. Usually Janice kept the baby up until he came home.
“Why?”
“Go check on your son and shower. We’ll talk later.” She walked toward the kitchen, a slight tremble evident in her hands but she knew Simon hadn’t seen it.
Simon walked slowly up the stairs to check on his son. In four years Janice had never cooked once for him or even offered to. And she had never offered or given any instructions to the staff without first checking with him. Something was definitely up. He checked on Mack, making sure he was breathing. He checked the monitor and decided to go back downstairs. The shower could wait. He peeked in the kitchen, saw Janice busy at the stove, and decided to see if she’d written any more.
Janice was aware that Simon was watching her and she did her best to not turn around. This had to go the way she’d planned. She could barely keep still as she listened to the sound of him walking toward her study. Then she heard the door open. She knew he was going to read it. She had been planting little tidbits for him for the last couple of weeks. He wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from reading it if he’d wanted to. All she had to do now was wait.
* * *
Simon read the last line of Janice’s book several times. And each time the anger inside him increased. This was the reason she had sent the staff away, the reason Mack was asleep. Well, good, he thought. If she was preparing for a fight, she sure as hell was going to get one.
“Why the hell did you come home?” he asked as he stood angrily in the door frame of the kitchen.
“A son needs two parents,” Janice said, turning slowly and deliberately.
“He has two parents; you can see him anytime that you want. Why the hell did you come back?”
“I’m not in love with Tommy.”
“You couldn’t find that out until you slept with him?”
“I knew before I went to see him that I no longer loved him,” she said, evading his question and trying to answer as truthfully as possible. She turned away from the anger in his face, knowing that if she didn’t take a moment to gather her strength she might not be able to go through with it.
Simon spun her around to face him. “Then why the hell did you sleep with him? Tell me why you’re here, why you even bothered to come back,” he yelled.
“I came back because I can’t share the things with Tommy that I can share with you.”
“What did you want to share with Tommy, your blackness?” he growled.
“I wanted to share my pain with him but it didn’t work. You and I, Simon, we’ve shared our pain.”
“And you’re back with me because we know how to make each other hurt? God, that’s sick.” Simon shook his head, his instincts telling him not to go closer to her.
“Did you really think it was going to be that easy? That all you had to do was decide that you now want me. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than that. You sleep with another man, then come back to me, and I’m supposed to just forgive you and welcome you back with open arms? No, baby, it’s not going to happen like that this time. Get the hell out. Now!” he screamed.
Janice sucked in her breath. This was it, she was about to lose her husband. The knowledge ripped through her and she knew what she had to do. For once she knew what to do. “No. I’m not going anyplace.” She tuned the stove off, checked the pans, and marched past Simon with him screaming behind her. “I love you,” she said calmly, walking up the stairs to the bedroom. “We’re going to talk and for once you’re going to listen.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Simon shouted.
“Could you please keep your voice to a mild roar? Your son is trying to sleep,” Janice said, dropping her voice.
“What I mean is, you’re going to listen to me. I’ve been telling you for over a year and you haven’t heard a word I said. It seems you heard me pretty good before I told you that I loved you. You said you knew it and you kept after me. I told you this would happen if I said the words but you didn’t want to listen. I finally admitted that I love you and since then you’ve done everything in your power to try to make me stop. Maybe you should ask yourself why.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I was but I’m not anymore. Simon, I love you,” she said as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you.”
“Then why the hell did you go to Tommy? Why did you sleep with him?”
“Didn’t you think that’s what I’ve been doing all along? You’ve accused me of it a million times. Why are you so worried about that? Do you think that’s all that’s in a marriage?”
“Are you telling me that you don’t think fidelity is important?”
“I think trust is more so.”
“How the hell can you have trust and still screw around?” He tore his hand through his hair. He growled, ran downstairs and in a
few minutes was back with bags, taking her things from the closet and throwing them into the luggage.
Janice sat calmly watching him. “I’m not leaving so you’re going to have to put all of my clothes back.”
“What do you want?” he said, coming to face her, dropping to the floor on his knees and locking his arms around her. “Do you really want to make those abuse charges come true?”
“You would never hurt me.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You have no idea how badly I want to change our past. I have hurt you over and over. I know why you went to Tommy. You’re trying to repay me. You were trying to get even with me for hurting you, weren’t you? Admit it,” he said, reaching out and holding her chin in his firm grasp. “Admit the truth. You wanted to make me crazy, just like when you left without telling me where you were going. For days I didn’t know where the hell you really were. When you left me, you wanted me to believe you were in Tommy’s arms.”
Simon looked at her calm demeanor. “You wanted me to find what you’d written; you set this up. Why? Do you hate me that much? I knew you hated me but this…”
“Tell me something, Simon,” Janice interrupted him. “Right now at this moment, which are you more worried about, that I hate you or that you hate me?”
He stopped for a moment, startled, and stared at her. Then he continued. Two hours later he was still yelling as loud as he dared with Mack sleeping. Then to his amazement, he realized his wife had fallen asleep. He couldn’t believe it. “I’ll be damned,”he murmured softly and walked over to Janice, shook her shoulders and waited for her to open her eyes.
“Am I boring you?”
“A little.” Janice smiled. “I know you need to get this out of your system but I don’t particularly need to hear it all. I’m not going to stop loving you, Simon, so if you’re done, maybe we can talk.”
Maybe having a baby had made her insane. Or all the fighting they’d done through the years. He didn’t know what it was but it was evident his wife was insane. And he was almost as insane as she was, he thought as he moved backwards, because he was ready to listen to her. He plopped into a chair and sighed.