The Duke only nodded. Isabel could tell that he understood the weight of his actions, just as much as he understood that it was something that had to be done.
“I must apologize to you, Miss Isabel,” Lord de Xander went on. “It is because of my short-sightedness and rash behavior that you had to endure such things. You haven’t eaten and you screamed for your freedom while you were here. It tore at my heart to know I had put you in such a situation.”
“Don’t think about it anymore, My Lord,” Isabel said. She offered him a smile when she saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes, feeling the genuineness of his apology. “You did what you thought was best for me. Had I fallen in Lord d’Ylles trap, I would have been much worse off than now, perhaps even dead. I’m only grateful that you cared about my parents, and me, enough to seek the truth the way you did.”
Lord de Xander gave her a weak smile. “I only hope I can forgive myself for putting you through such distress. But the evil is gone now, Miss Isabel. You are no longer in danger.”
Isabel smiled back, ignoring the nagging thought in the back of her head that it took someone dying for this to truly come to an end. She wouldn’t think about that now. Not until she was alone and could mourn for the person she thought had been her friend.
“If you don’t mind, My Lord,” she said as she began to push the sheets aside. The Duke shot to his feet, hovering close to help her. “I think it is best that I return home now.”
“Ah, yes, of course.” Lord de Xander stepped to the side and out of her way.
With the Duke to the left of her and Lord Pemperton coming to the right, Isabel looked at Lord de Xander. He looked gentle and his gaze was soft and affectionate.
“I would love to hear stories about my parents when you have the time, My Lord,” she said, enjoying the way he perked up at that. “I’d love for you to visit me.”
“Nothing would make me happier, Miss Isabel,” he said and Isabel believed it.
She gave him one final smile before she began making her way to the door, the Duke and Lord Pemperton trailing behind. She offered that same smile to the maid she saw standing outside and then she continued on her way. The weight of everything she’d just heard wanted to descend upon her all at once, but Isabel refused to let it happen until she was safe and alone once again.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
David couldn’t figure out what Miss Isabel was thinking and it was putting him on edge. He couldn’t help sneaking worried glances at her as they made their way back to the London townhouse, perturbed by her silence. She hadn’t said a word since she left the de Xander Manor and hadn’t stop staring out the window since.
He could see the same worry on Lord Pemperton’s face. The Marquess looked haggard, as if everything that had happened was finally taking a toll on him. David wasn’t worried about him, though. After a good night’s rest, he was sure the Marquess would be back to his usual self, just like he would be. But for now, they both were tense wondering if Miss Isabel was truly all right.
For once, he couldn’t read her. He hadn’t realized how much of an open book she was until she had closed herself off to everyone around her. Right now, he didn’t think he would be able to rest until he was positive that she was both physically and emotionally all right.
The question remained on the tip of his tongue all the way to the townhouse. As they all got out, David and Lord Pemperton still keeping their eyes on Miss Isabel, the butler and a few other servants met them outside. Elisa rushed to Miss Isabel’s side and for the first time ever, the older woman had an actual expression on her face. Just like everyone else, she looked deathly worried for Miss Isabel.
The lady’s maid said something to her and Miss Isabel responded, but David didn’t hear the exchange. His own valet came up to him, concerned about his own wellbeing but David pushed him aside, wanted to keep his eyes on Miss Isabel as she was led inside.
“Where is Lady Pemperton?” he overheard the Marquess asking the butler.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Lady Pemperton came rushing out, her eyes as wide.
“Miss Isabel!” the Marchioness squealed in a borderline unladylike manner. Miss Isabel turned to meet her, a genuine smile gracing her lips when the Marchioness wrapped her arms around her. “Oh, goodness, I’m so happy to see you. I’m so happy you’re all right.”
“It’s all thanks to His Grace and Lord Pemperton,” Miss Isabel said.
Lady Pemperton pulled away and looked Miss Isabel in the face, putting her hand on her cheek as she studied her. “You look terrible, my dear. What did they do to you? Oh, I can’t imagine the horrors you must have gone through.”
“On the contrary, My Lady, I was treated kindly.”
“You were?” Lady Pemperton gasped. “But you look as if you haven’t eaten or slept in days.”
“I’ll be all right, My Lady,” Miss Isabel said. David was amazed how easily she held her smile despite everything she’d just been through. “I would love to change my clothes, however, so if you would excuse me.”
Lady Pemperton quickly stepped away from her, eager to allow her to do as she wished. Without hesitation, David trailed behind Miss Isabel, keeping a safe distance from her. He didn’t know whether she wanted anyone’s company but that of her lady’s maid, and he didn’t want to push it. He’d already done enough.
But I have to make sure she’s all right.
Silence settled over them as they made their way to her chambers and when they arrived, Elisa announced her intentions of finding a gown and bringing her clean, hot water. Miss Isabel nodded and watched her go.
“Don’t you think you should rest some more?” he asked her, coming a little closer. He was grateful for the fact that they were alone now, since everyone else had gone to the parlor.
Miss Isabel shook her head slowly, not looking away from the window. “The rest I had at Lord de Xander’s Manor was enough for now. I should change quickly and join Lady Pemperton in the parlor.”
“I’m just as sure that she’ll understand if you retire for a few hours.”
“I’m fine, Your Grace,” she said softly. Then she turned her head and looked at him. David was stuck by how beautiful she was in that moment, how ethereal she looked with the glow of the sunlight resting on her soft skin, her hair falling around her shoulders. Her blue eyes looked even clearer than usual, looking at him the way she always had. With care and love—even when he hadn’t reciprocated it.
“And you, Your Grace?” she asked. “Are you all right? You look incredibly tired.”
He felt a stab of self-hatred and regret. Her words threw him, had the floor swaying beneath his feet and he clenched his fists at this side to keep himself together. All of a sudden, he realized what a fool he had been. How utterly insane he had been for actually letting her go.
This lady loved him with all her heart. He had known that from the very start. All the blushes and the sidelong glances and the excitement in her voice and demeanor whenever he was around was a clear indication. And though he had fallen in love with her, David had latched on to his duty, thinking he was doing what was right even if it didn’t feel that way.
But how could he have looked into these beautiful eyes and not give her whatever she wanted? She only wanted him. Now, it was as clear as day. And he wanted her even more—her body, her soul.
He wanted to kiss her senseless like that time in the hallway and he half-wished Elisa wasn’t here so that he could. He wanted to feel her slim, lithe body against his chest and hear her moans as he touched her. He wanted to bring her to her peak once more.
But above all, David wanted to make sure that she never felt heartache because of him ever again. He wanted to protect the sweet and gentle soul that was her, to ensure that for the rest of her days, she would only smile.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
David was so overwhelmed by his feelings that he nearly said it out loud. But he swallowed it back when he realized that s
he was still waiting for a response.
“I haven’t slept all night,” he explained to her and her brows rose in alarm.
“Your Grace, you need to rest. You shouldn’t be worried about me.”
“Once I’m sure that you’re all right, then I’ll do so.” With that said, he took the nearest seat to her, folding one leg over the other.
Miss Isabel stared at him for a moment longer, mouth opening as if she wanted to protest. But then she decided against it and returned her attention out the window.
David didn’t bother to hide the fact that he was staring this time. The silence that fell over them was too thick but he was content with just staring at her for that short while until Elisa returned and he decided to head back to the parlor to stay with the Marquess and his wife.
* * *
At long last, Miss Isabel walked in through the door.
“Tell me what happened, dear,” Lady Pemperton said.
And so, she did. In a low yet clear voice, Isabel recounted everything that happened since the moment she woke up in the room, to what had happened to Lord d’Ylles, and the story behind him. Lady Pemperton, to her credit, kept quiet throughout it all, but the tiny gasps and the widening of her eyes told David that she was as shocked at the tale as everyone else had been.
“Oh, my dear…” Without warning Lady Pemperton wrapped her arms around Miss Isabel. “You’ve been through so much.”
Miss Isabel only smiled and hugged her back. David watched, wishing he could do the same.
“After all that you’ve been through, Miss Isabel,” Lord Pemperton said, coming forward. “I think it’s best that you rest.”
“Oh… right.” Lady Pemperton nodded. David could tell she was physically trying to resist from clinging to Miss Isabel again. “You really should rest, my dear. I’ll speak with you later, yes?”
Miss Isabel’s smile was but a shadow when she nodded and stepped away. David began to follow the same time Elisa did.
Miss Isabel didn’t even look back at him as she made her way to her chambers. David was tense, knowing what he was about to do and suddenly feeling too nervous about it.
He didn’t work up the courage until they finally made it to the doors of her chambers. “Miss Isabel,” he called out to her.
She paused and after a second, turned to face him fully. “Yes, Your Grace?”
“There is something I must tell you.”
He had been thinking about how to say these next words while they sat quietly in the parlor. And right now, he still wasn’t sure what he should say, so he decided to simply be blunt.
“I was wrong, Miss Isabel,” he said to her. “About everything from the start. I cast aside my feelings for you because I thought it was improper of me to feel that way for my ward. I thought that what you deserved was to find a decent husband and start your own family, but then our hearts got in the way. And my own stubbornness kept me from telling you how I truly feel.”
He came closer, taking her hands in his, peering into her eyes. “I love you, Miss Isabel. I have since you helped to nurse me back to health in Brighton. I fell in love with your gentle spirit and your kind words and your caring mind. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to understand that I cannot be without you.”
Slowly, he interlaced her fingers with his. “I want you to marry me, Miss Isabel. I want you to be my wife.”
He had expected her to smile. He had expected her to say yes instantly, or to perhaps cry a little before she did.
He definitely did not expect for her to lower her gaze and gently pull her fingers away from his.
“I cannot, Your Grace.”
David frowned.
I didn’t hear that right, surely.
“What do you mean?”
She looked up at him, her eyes frightfully clear. The fact that he couldn’t see a shred of emotion scared him. It wasn’t that she was being cold, it was that she wasn’t her usual warm self that unnerved him.
“It is no secret that I loved you, Your Grace. Even as I was being courted by Lord d'Ylles, I made my feelings clear for you, though I didn’t say the words. And still, you rejected me time and time again, knowing how we both felt. But now that you are finally able to accept your love for me, you expect me to fall in your arms as if you haven’t broken my heart many times in the past. I cannot allow that, Your Grace. My pride won’t let me.”
Then she stepped back. It felt as if there was a knife in his chest. “If you would excuse me, Your Grace. I’d like to be alone for the rest of the day.”
David watched, rigid, as she entered the room, her lady’s maid slipping in behind her, and the door was shut. Only then did the knife go in hilt deep.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
When David awoke, the sun was already high in the sky. James was hovering in the room when he opened his eyes.
“How is Miss Isabel?” David asked as soon as he saw him.
James didn’t look the least bit surprised by the question. For the past few days, since they had brought her home and she had rejected him, he had asked that question the moment he woke up. David was yet to recover from his night of drinking and coffee and had been waking up around midday since then. He wondered if the fact that he stayed up at night thinking about Miss Isabel was partially to blame.
“She has already had breakfast, Your Grace. Last I checked, she was going on a stroll through the gardens.”
“Oh.” David sagged, then he got out of bed. Though her rejection still stung to this day, David wasn’t the type of person to simply give up. He would have her, if it was the last thing he did.
“Will you eat, Your Grace?” James asked as he began helping his master get ready.
“After I’ve seen her.”
James said nothing. David didn’t even notice. He was too focused on trying to formulate a plan to win her over. He deserved everything she had told him and he only wanted to make it up to her. He wanted her to see that he was done being foolish and he was ready to make her the happiest lady in the world, their ward-guardian relationship be damned.
As soon as he was finished, he made his way straight to the gardens, hoping she was still there. He found her sitting alone on a bench, Elisa standing nearby.
“Miss Isabel,” he called to her as he approached.
She looked at him. Her gaze was warm but there was a distance that hadn’t been there until after she turned him down. “Your Grace, good day. I see that you’re finally awake.”
“I don’t think I’ll recover from that night for a while,” he said wistfully, taking a seat next to her.
“I think it may have more to do with the fact that you’re always up late in your office and less to do with the fact that you spent a night drinking coffee.”
David smiled at her smart tone. “I don’t stay up working anymore, Miss Isabel. The only thing that keeps me up at night are thoughts of you.”
He watched her closely when his words hit home, but he did not see a single reaction. Before, she would have blushed profusely, perhaps even looked away to hide a smile. Now, she only looked over at him and said, “I hope you’re not trying to blame me for your terrible sleep schedule, Your Grace?”
“I am blaming you,” he went on, desperate for a reaction. Though he was determined to push through, he couldn’t deny how discouraging it was to see how normal she acted around him. “You are the love of my life and yet you are not my betrothed. I’m sure you can see how that would keep me up.”
“That seems like a problem you’re going to have work on yourself, Your Grace,” she said simply.
David sighed silently and looked away. When he did, he caught sight of her fingers fidgeting with each other before she tucked them into fists.
She isn’t as unmoved as I thought. I just need to be a little bolder.
“Miss Isabel,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about what you told me nearly a week ago. When you rejected me.”
“Your Grace…”
“And you’r
e right.” He caught her eyes when she looked at him in surprise. “I’m not sure I ever told you that. You’re absolutely right. I treated you in such an abysmal manner that I would understand if you never want to speak to me again. I’m very grateful that it hasn’t come to that.”
She glanced away.
He went on, driven by his emotions. “I spent my entire life knowing what I needed to do. I worked hard, went to school, and when my parents died, I realized all that responsibility would fall on me earlier than I thought it would. I believed that there was a plan written for my life, that I needed to provide and care for you until you were married, and only then would I be able to live for myself.”
Daring Deeds 0f A Forbidden Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 25