“And just how far are you willing to go?”
So much for him forgiving her. She glared knowing exactly what he was asking. In the next instant her anger turned to shame, its hot sparks burning a path straight to her heart. She’d made mistakes in the past—mistakes that she wasn’t proud of no matter how effective the results. Not that it mattered. She was a different person now, and there were lines she wouldn’t cross again—ever. “Not that far.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Jamie. I meant how long are you willing to stay away from Sabrina?”
Their gazes met.
She didn’t believe him.
He was thinking back to the other time they’d worked together.
She’d had a choice—sleep with someone or die. She’d made her choice, right or wrong. “If you say so.”
“Look. I was a rookie then. I didn’t understand what it meant to go undercover. I didn’t know how dangerous it was. The rules of the game change when your life’s in danger. I get that now. What you did saved thousands of people. You’re a hero.”
Her heart fluttered, but she tore her gaze away. Why did Enrique have to be the one here with her? It complicated everything. “I don’t feel much like a hero.” She opened the door.
His hand grazed her shoulder. “Jamie, I really didn’t—”
“Goodbye.”
13
Jamie moved to the mirror. She was still going for the sweet look with Ryan. Having no idea what he had planned for the day made it more difficult to dress but this outfit should work for most any place. Today, she wore pink capris with a pink striped T-shirt. Casual, but cute.
She was sure Ryan had only one goal, to get her into bed, but that wasn’t going to happen. Jamie wouldn’t cross that line again even if her life depended on it. But for now she’d let him think there was a chance he’d get what he wanted until she got what she wanted—information.
“God, please let him know where Michael and Andrew Zinkleman might be. Thank you.” She spoke her prayer out loud, her heart full. Her leads up to this point were sparse—too sparse. If Ryan didn’t know anything, she had no other leads.
Michael Zinkleman had done a good job hiding and staying hidden.
Someone knocked.
Jamie grabbed her purse and went to the door. She pasted a smile on as she opened it.
Ryan’s look was one of approval.
“I wasn’t sure what the plan was so I dressed casual.” She gave a little curtsy.
“You look beautiful. In fact, you don’t look like the kind of person who would be living in this sort of place at all.”
“Well, everyone hits hard times now and then. And this place isn’t permanent. As soon as I can afford an apartment, I’ll be moving out of here. Pronto.”
“Still no luck finding a job, huh?”
“I’ve got a few prospects.” She picked up her cell phone and purse. “Who knows, maybe they’ll call me today.”
“I wish I could hire you at the bar but the boss said it was a no-go.”
“That’s sweet. Don’t worry about it. Something will turn up sooner or later. So, what’s the plan for today?”
“Ever been to the zoo?”
Surprised, Jamie smiled. “Not for many years and not here.”
“Columbus has a great zoo. It’s very famous. That guy on TV with all the wild animals used to be the zoo director.”
“Really? I love that guy.”
“Well, I think he still might be the director. At least, the honorary one. I don’t actually know.”
She looped her arm in his. “Well, let’s go find out.”
****
The flamingos, swans, and other aquatic birds were enjoying the lake in the zoo. The tranquil scene was the exact opposite of Jamie’s thoughts. She was out of practice with being undercover, and it was no longer comfortable pretending to be someone else. She took a deep breath. She wasn’t quitting until she had Zink’s son back.
The nearby rose bushes almost masked the decaying, fishy smell of the lake—almost. Not quite the ideal place for lunch but it was a beautiful spot to the eye.
Ryan walked to her, his hands full of bags and paper cups. He placed them beside her and sat down on the other side. So far, he’d been a perfect gentleman. He held her hand as they walked but nothing more.
She sniffed. “Mmm. Hot dogs and fries.”
“Sorry, it’s not a burger. That line was even longer. I hope this is OK.”
“Perfect.”
They each took time to put the fixings on their hot dogs.
Ryan pointed to the pink flamingos and the white swans swimming in the lake. “I envy them.”
“Why?”
“They’re free. They get to be exactly who they want to be. Nobody tells them they have to act like a giraffe or an elephant. That’s why I like coming here. Animals are honest.”
“That they are. Just look at how the chimps acted flinging their feces all around their cage. That was pretty honest.” Her stomach twisted with her own deceit.
“A little too honest.” Ryan laughed.
“Well, people get to choose how they act, too.”
“I suppose. But take me, for example. I’m an ex-con and I work in a bar because that’s all people will let me do. I could be a lot more if people would give me a chance. They look at me and see this tattoo.” He pointed at his arm where a snake curled up from his wrist to above his elbow. “I’m supposed to be a tough guy, so I dress, act, and even think the part.”
“So, what do you want to do?” Jamie couldn’t believe she was having a heart-to-heart with the man she was deceiving.
“I don’t know. I just wish I had the option to decide.”
Their gazes met. She recognized a kindred searcher. “You do have that option, Ryan. You just have to ignore people and make your life what you want. Your present and future actions will determine your life, not your past. “
“Easier said than done.”
“Your past is gone. The Bible says to forget about the past and look to the future.”
“Don’t tell me you’re a Jesus freak.”
Barbara, her alternate personality, would laugh and say no, but getting the opportunity to talk about Jesus with anyone didn’t come along all that often. Jamie Jakowski wasn’t going to waste it being someone else.
“I wouldn’t say I’m a Jesus freak, but I believe in God and in His love. Our mistakes of the past do not have to dictate our future. He is the God of second chances.”
“How about a third and fourth?”
“That, too.”
“Well, I’m working on getting my life together. Maybe, I’ll think about God after I do.”
“He doesn’t want you to wait until after you get yourself together. He wants you right now—just the way you are. Then the two of you together can make those changes.”
“I’m trying to right some of the wrongs I’ve done in my life.”
That was interesting. “What’s that?”
“I hurt a friend a while back, but I’m trying my best to fix it now.”
Was he talking about Michael Zinkleman?
“Why? What happened?”
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m helping him now. He had to leave with his son because of me. I’m trying to…” His words faded. “Never mind. The details aren’t important.” The tone in Ryan’s voice told her that he would never willingly betray his old friend.
14
Enrique paced the length of his motel room. This was ridiculous. He was a highly-trained and very effective FBI agent. He wasn’t used to sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to make the calls. He needed to do something to move this case along. The sooner that happened, the sooner Jamie would be safely back in Florida with her daughter and away from danger.
His mind drifted to the barbecue he’d interrupted at her home. If only he was the man of the house at the grill flipping the burgers. He’d seen something in her gaze these past few days, and he pond
ered the implications. With God’s help, he could make her happy if he could just knock down those walls he’d been so stupid to build.
Jamie responded, and then without warning she’d back off. It was almost as if she didn’t believe she deserved any happiness.
Sitting in the motel room wasn’t getting this job done either. Grabbing car keys, he stalked out.
After all, he was the quarterback.
****
“Oooohh, my feet hurt and I’m sunburned.”
Ryan laughed. “You really are a good complainer. You should put that on your resume.”
“Very funny.”
He was taking her to the motel after their day at the zoo, which had actually been fun. That was one of the secrets of being undercover—actually becoming the person she pretended to be. It made the whole thing easier.
“And what job would that qualify me for?”
“Mmm. How about a teacher? They’re always complaining, right?”
“Yeah, that’s for sure. My teachers were always calling my parents and complaining about one thing or another. How about you?”
“Not me. I was the perfect student.”
“Really?”
“Not.” He laughed and turned into the motel parking lot. “I never could see much use for school. Guess I should have taken it more seriously. I might be better off now.”
“Yeah, me too. I wasn’t really a trouble maker, you know. I just didn’t apply myself. At least that’s what my teachers were always telling my mom. Now one of my best friends, she applied herself. Went to college and got her degree. She did things right. Life’s good for her these days. She actually got married a few months ago.” Jamie sighed. “Beautiful wedding.”
“Yeah, my best friend in high school made better choices than me. He got his college degree. For all the good that did him.”
Bingo! Keep him talking.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, he did something stupid. He trusted me and let me mess up his life. And now him and his kid are paying the price for my mistake.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Ryan.” She placed a hand on his arm.
“Yeah, not half as much as me. I thought I was helping the guy out. Giving him a way to make a little extra money. No one would get hurt. Boy was I wrong!”
“What happened?” She forced herself to breathe normally.
“He got greedy. Then things got crazy.”
“Is he OK?” Tell me. Give me more information I can use.
“For now.” His tone said he was finished talking.
She’d been so close. She couldn’t just let it go. “Starting over isn’t easy. That’s why I’m here. I want to start over but not in my hometown. People won’t let me forget my mistakes. That’s why I got on a bus and ended up here. What did your friend do that got him in trouble?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Oh, it mattered. She pushed the conversation further. “I’d like to think I made the right decision. You know, leaving home and coming here.”
“What did you do?”
Jamie made a face. “You know. Same old stupid story. Fell in love with the wrong guy and ended up pregnant.”
“You have a kid?”
“I had a miscarriage. But every time I left the house, I could see people staring at me. Whispering about me while I was standing right there in front of them. As if I was the only person in the world that happened to. I got tired of putting up with their judgment. I worked hard to turn my life around, but no one would forget the old me.” Jamie shrugged. “So, I left. It sort of broke my mama’s heart. I just want to make her proud of me now.”
“Good for you. That’s what my friend did, too.”
Good, back to Zinkleman.
“Really? Wow. I guess I had the right idea then. Where did he go? Somewhere exciting, I hope. I didn’t have a lot of money so this is as far as I got.”
He looked at her, his gaze probing.
She could almost feel the wheels inside his brain turning.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “He didn’t tell me.”
Hiding her disappointment, she reached for the door handle. “Well, I hope things are going better for him than for me. I sure wish I could find a job.”
“I’m sure you will. It just takes time.”
“Well, I have plenty of that. I’ve got nothing but time in this place.” She crinkled her nose. “The shower doesn’t even work right.”
“You’re kidding.”
“The water dribbles out slower than honey from a jar.” She shrugged. “Well, it’s the best I can afford for now. I’ll manage.”
“If you want to grab some clean clothes you can come over to my house and take a bath.”
If she could find anything leading to Michael Zinkleman in his home…on the other hand, she was just asking for trouble if she went there to take a bath.
But she knew how to handle trouble.
15
“Wow. This is a great house. I can’t believe you can afford it on a bartender’s pay.” She walked into Ryan’s living room. The only furniture was a recliner, a TV, and a TV tray. The walls were beige, the ceiling white, and the carpet was also beige. The room was boring. Thinking of the gaudy, flamboyant tattoo on his arm, this was definitely not Ryan’s style.
“Sure it looks nice now, but you should have seen it when I first bought it. It was a mess. Now it’s just about ready to sell.”
“What do you mean? Sell?”
“I buy foreclosed houses, fix them up, and sell them for a profit.”
“Really. How cool, but it must be a lot of hard work.”
“That’s OK. It keeps me out of trouble.”
Mmm, interesting.
“How many have you done so far?”
“This is my third. The housing market isn’t great right now, but I can sell cheap and still make enough money to buy the next house. The key is to buy cheap and do the work myself.” He really was getting his act together.
Would meeting her interfere with that? She prayed it wouldn’t.
“Here, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” He led her down a short hallway. He pointed at a bedroom. “This is the last room, and then the house goes on the market.”
She peeked in. Torn wallpaper decorated the walls and a hideous orange carpet was on the floor. “What a mess. You really can fix this up as nice as the other room? Wow. You are talented.”
He smiled with pride at her compliment. “Thanks. Unless I get distracted by a pretty woman in pink.” Pressing against her, he nudged her against the wall. She put her hands on his chest to keep him from moving in for the kill. “Hey, I have an idea.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He leaned closer whispering in her ear.
“While I take a shower, you go to the store, and I’ll fix you a home-cooked meal. That will be my way of saying thanks for the wonderful day at the zoo. I’m a great cook.” That was about as far from the truth as she could get.
He sighed and moved back. “Fine. What do you want me to get?”
“Well, it’s your meal. What would you like?”
“Steak?”
That was something she couldn’t mess up too badly. “Great. Get some potatoes, and don’t forget the butter and sour cream. And some salad fixings.”
“Sure thing.”
“And anything chocolate for dessert would be perfect.” The longer the shopping list the longer he’d be out of the house. The more time she could snoop and, hopefully, get the information she needed.
His finger trailed down her cheek. She smiled, stood on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek, and then hurried into the bathroom. She leaned against the bathroom door waiting for her pulse to slow down. She was getting too old for this cloak and dagger stuff. It just wasn’t as much fun as it used to be and she really missed being home with Sabrina. Her daughter deserved a better mother. But Zink deserved her son, too.
She turned the tap on and stuck her head under the water to prove she�
�d taken a shower. She grabbed a towel and rubbed her hair.
Outside a car started up.
She peeked out to make sure he’d left. Not sure how long he’d be at the grocery store she rushed down the hall. The first door led to what was obviously his bedroom. Ryan favored Spartan décor. The room had a bed and a dresser. Nothing else.
On to the next room. A desk and chair with a computer. Wasting no time Jamie hit the enter button and popped a screen. At home, she never bothered turning off her computer and she’d hoped he hadn’t either.
If Ryan was like many he simply kept the Internet on for easy access.
And that meant easy access for herself, as well. She clicked the icon intending to scan his email.
“What do you think you’re doing?” a man’s voice asked.
She screamed and turned, ready to fight. “What are you doing here?”
Enrique Rodriquez grinned. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but I got tired of sitting in a hotel room. Apparently, I had the same idea as you. Thought I’d come see what I could find out from the wonder boy here.”
“But I was invited here. You obviously broke in, which is illegal for an FBI agent. You need to leave before he gets back.”
“And you might as well go take that shower. You aren’t going to find anything here. I already looked several times.”
Her hope deflated faster than a broken balloon at a child’s birthday party. “What happened to you following the rules?”
“I told you I’ve learned a few things since the last time you worked with me.”
“Apparently so. Are you sure there’s nothing here to connect him with Michael?”
“Yeah, checked his email, the desk, even his family and friends page. No sign of Zinkleman anywhere. I was just about to leave when the two of you showed up. Having so much fun on your date that you didn’t want it to end?”
She ignored his taunt. Her gaze moved around the room. “Were you hiding in the closet?”
“Yes.”
She hid a smile as she imagined Enrique scrunched into the tiny cubicle. “You need to get out of here before Ryan gets back and finds you. You could get in big trouble for coming here without a warrant.”
“Me? What about you? What do you think he’s planning for the rest of the evening?”
“I know exactly what he’s planning, but I can take care of myself.”
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