“I’m going to find him some meat when we get back to the fort.” He knelt and patted the dog. “Good boy, Buster.”
Buster woofed and thrust his nose into Clay’s hands. It was almost as though he knew he’d done good. Clay swallowed hard and got control of his emotions. He had been so certain the girls had died in the storm. God had to have protected them. There was no other explanation.
“Let’s get you both home. You need a hot bath and some food.” He swung up into the saddle, and one of the soldiers handed Franny up to him. He settled her against his chest and gave his hand to Bridie. She swung up behind him and put her arms around his waist.
The trip back to the fort seemed long. Clay was eager to get Franny to a warm place and into dry clothes. News of the rescue had already spread throughout the fort when they rode through the gate.
Jessica’s face was the first thing Clay saw when he stopped at the stable. Although pale and strained, she gave a glad cry when she saw his precious bundle perched in front of him.
“Franny!” Jessica stumbled forward and held up her arms.
The little girl practically fell into her embrace. “Jessie, I waited for you and Uncle Clay to come find me,” she said reproachfully. “Me and Bridie was scared.”
Jessica covered her face with kisses. “Sweetheart, we were so worried! Uncle Clay looked and looked for you. He looked for you all night.”
Franny wound her arms around her neck and kissed her. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. Now let’s get you home and into a hot bath and clean clothes.” She carried her off toward the cabin.
Franny waved to Clay. “ ’Bye, Uncle Clay!”
Clay lifted his hand, then dropped it to his side as soon as Franny was out of sight. He was going to have to make other arrangements for Franny. Things couldn’t go on like they were. He just didn’t trust Jessica. When her own interests were at stake, she forgot everything and everyone else.
He plodded through the snow to his quarters, where he looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. He’d never noticed before how stark and unwelcoming his tiny room was, holding only a bed, a battered stove with two pots, a rickety table he’d dragged out of the trash heap when an officer had moved on, and a chair with one leg missing that was propped up with a piece of wood. It was not a very welcoming environment for a little girl, but it would have to do. He’d see about adding a few furnishings.
What about when he was traveling? For the first time, he wondered if the Lord was telling him it was time to settle somewhere and build a ministry in one place. But where? And how did he know for sure? He decided he would spend some time in study and prayer and listen to what God was saying. Franny was his family now, and he had a responsibility to her.
He closed his Bible and drew his pocket watch out. Nearly four o’clock. He sighed and picked up his coat. He wasn’t looking forward to the coming confrontation. He didn’t like hurting Jessica, but it had to be done. She had to know he couldn’t let her negligence continue.
Knocking on the door, he wondered how he would manage talking to her alone. He owed her that much. Taking Franny would be humiliating enough without having her family witness it.
Miriam opened the door and smiled when she saw him. “Clay, did you come to join the party?”
“Party?”
“Aunt Letty baked a cake and we’re celebrating the safe recovery of Bridie and Franny. You have to join us.” She took his arm and pulled him inside.
Jessica was sitting on the edge of the bed reading Franny a story. Franny’s hair curled around her shoulder in shiny ringlets, and she was snuggled with her favorite blanket against Jessica’s side. She looked happy and contented. They both looked up when they heard him stomp the snow from his boots.
Jessica’s smile brightened when she saw him, and Franny hopped to the floor and ran to him.
“Uncle Clay, Grandma Letty bakeded me a cake. It’s chocolate. But I can’t eat any till after supper. I’ll share with you.”
Grandma Letty. Franny was being assimilated into the DuBois family more every day. Before too long she would be calling Jessica Mama. He had better do something quickly. He looked at Jessica and said abruptly, “Can we talk?”
Her smile faded, and she looked apprehensive. “Of course.”
“Not here. Would you care to join me for dinner at Bridger Hotel?” The impersonal hotel would be good.
“What about Franny’s party?”
“We’ll be back in about an hour.”
Her gaze probed his face, then she nodded. “I’ll tell Mama and get my coat.”
While she explained to Letty, he told Franny they were going out for a bit but would be back in time to share her chocolate cake. The little girl wanted to come with them, but he promised her a licorice stick if she was good.
The only sound as they walked to the hotel was the crunch of their boots in the snow. Clay wanted to wait until they were seated to tell her his decision. Jessica kept her head down as she tried to keep up with him. He realized he was going too fast and slowed his steps.
It was early yet for the hotel supper crowd, so they were able to be seated in a corner table away from other customers. Jessica slipped off her coat, and he took it and hung it up on the hook behind her chair, then sat across from her. She sat and folded her hands in her lap, her blue eyes fixed on his face as she waited.
He had to admit she looked lovely tonight. Her hair was up in a mass of curls with a few escaping to caress the smooth skin of her neck and cheeks. It was too bad she wasn’t the angel she looked on the outside. Clay clenched his jaw. Get with it, he told himself. Waiting is not going to make it any easier.
He took a deep breath. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since last night,” he began.
“So have I,” she said softly. “About more than you know.”
“Ellen expected me to take care of her daughter,” he said. “I’ve neglected that responsibility and palmed it off on you. I can’t do that any longer.”
“What do you mean? You haven’t asked me to do anything. I asked for Franny.” Her voice rose a bit, and he heard the alarm in it. Grimly, he went on.
“I’m going to have to cancel our arrangement. I’m taking Franny to live with me.”
“You can’t do that! We agreed this was best for Franny!” She gripped the edge of the table and leaned forward. “She needs a mother; you can’t just rip her away from me. She loves me, and I love her!” Her lips trembled, and tears pooled in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Red, but I really feel this is for the best.” It took all his resolve not to back down. “It’s really too much for you.”
“You think I neglect Franny?” Fire sparked in her eyes, and she started to rise from her chair, but sank back down with an obvious effort at control.
“You can’t just have someone else watch her every time you want to flirt with a man.”
“Is that what this is all about? You’re angry because Bridie watched her while I went for a walk? Robert had already brought me home; then I went for a walk alone. I wanted to think.”
Was that really what was bugging him? That Jessica was seeing another man? He hated to think he might be that petty. “I just don’t think you realize what a responsibility raising a child is. I think she needs to be with me. You’re trying; I can see that. But I want Franny to have a firm spiritual foundation. Almost losing her made me realize how vital it is that she know and understand about God. Life is precarious. I couldn’t live with myself if someday Franny slips away into eternity without Jesus. Right now she’s too young to totally understand, but it won’t be long before she’ll be able to choose to follow Christ or the world. It’s better to wean her away from you before she gets any more attached.”
The tears finally spilled over onto her cheeks. “Please, Clay, you can’t take Franny. It would be devastating to her! Give me one more chance.”
“I’m sorry, Red. Someday you’ll see this is for the best
. You’ll marry and have your own children. Franny would just be in the way.”
Mattie brought their food, and they both fell silent. Jessica kept her gaze down and chewed on her lip. As soon as the waitress walked away, she began again.
“Give me just until Christmas. You said you had to get to three other forts by Christmas. Finish your trips for the year and we’ll reevaluate at the beginning of the year.”
He hardened his heart against her entreaty. “I’ve made up my mind, and there’s nothing you can say to persuade me differently. It really is for the best.”
Fresh tears poured from her eyes, and she jumped to her feet. “I won’t let you! You can’t take her away!” She grabbed her coat and ran from the dining room. The other customers in the room stared, then went back to their meals. Clay threw his money on the table and grabbed his coat, too. Suddenly he wasn’t very hungry.
§
Jessica sobbed as she hurried across the parade ground. The tears were of anger and pain both. How could he do this to her or to Franny? Didn’t he understand how traumatic it would be? And how could he take Franny into danger when he traveled? He’d have to find someone to care for her, and there was no one else to do it but Jessica.
What could she do? Could she ask the colonel to intervene? But he had no real authority over Clay. Would he listen to Robert? As soon as the thought struck her, she discarded it. In spite of what Clay had said, her relationship with Robert was how this all began. He might say he thought Robert was a good man, but she doubted he really believed it. Could he be jealous? Did he care anything about her at all? He was just too hard to read.
She had gotten control of her emotions by the time she got back home. Franny looked up with a bright smile when she came in.
“Where’s Uncle Clay? He promised to come for my party.”
“He’ll probably be here soon,” she said. Would he insist on taking Franny tonight? She gave herself a mental shake. He wouldn’t want to upset her right after her ordeal in the blizzard. Perhaps she could think of something in the next few hours to change his mind. She couldn’t give Franny up.
Clay showed up for a few minutes and ate a piece of cake with Franny. When he finished, he asked Jessica to walk him to the door. A ball of dread formed in her stomach, but she followed him to the door.
“You need to tell her tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll pick her up tomorrow night. I have a few things to do to get ready for her.”
“Please don’t do this, Clay,” she whispered.
His jaw tightened. “I’m sorry, Red. Someday you’ll see this was for the best.”
The funny thing was, she believed he was sincere. She couldn’t fault him for not loving Franny. She knew what kind of man he was. He wouldn’t be doing this if he weren’t totally convinced it was best. But there had to be a way to convince him he was wrong. She stared into his eyes and saw no reason to hope. She struggled not to cry, to beg, but the only way she could hold her tongue was to walk away and let him see himself out.
She lay awake long into the night, considering her options. She could let Franny go without raising any more arguments; she could go to the commander and hope he could change Clay’s mind; she could marry Robert and ask him to leave tomorrow with her and Franny before Clay could find out and stop them. The last option held the most appeal. It would be just what he deserved for his pigheaded refusal to see reason. She and Franny would have a good life with Robert.
Trust Me, beloved.
Her eyes widened. Trust God with something this important? Where had that idea come from? How could she just sit back and do nothing? What if He didn’t have the same idea about what was best as she did?
Trust Me.
The persuasion to do just that tugged at her again. This was a chance to put her new faith to the test. If God proved His faithfulness in something so important to her, He could be trusted with anything. But did she really believe that? How could she go about finding the courage to take her hands off the situation and leave it in God’s hands?
“God, help me,” she whispered. “Help me to trust You enough to allow You to work. It’s going to be hard. I don’t know if I have enough faith.”
She would do it. She would tell Robert she couldn’t marry him. Once that safeguard was removed, she would have no one to depend on but God. She would have to trust Him. A sense of peace stole over her, and she finally fell asleep, but her dreams were haunted by images of Franny clinging to her in tears.
Her mother was already banging pots at the stove when she awoke. Franny still slept, and Jessica breathed a sigh of relief. She wanted to tell her mother what was happening first and ask her to help. She slid out of bed and slipped behind the makeshift screen to wash and dress. When she emerged, she was determined to hold to her resolve from the night before. With God’s help, she would hold her temper in check, allow Clay to take Franny, continue her work as laundress, and stand back to see God at work. She knew it would be the hardest thing she had ever done.
eleven
Clay had managed to find a cot for Franny from Mrs. Captain Berry, some pots from the quartermaster, and he had bought some extra supplies from the sutler’s store. He set the cot up in a corner of his room and roped off a partition around it with an old blanket. Mrs. Berry had also given him a flat but still serviceable pillow and a faded pink quilt he spread over the bed. He thought the little “room” looked welcoming with a gingham-covered barrel sitting beside the cot as a washstand. He put a battered trunk at the foot of the bed for Franny’s clothes and on the floor beside the bed he threw a hooked rug he’d bought from an emigrant family passing through Bridger. Not a bad day’s work. He hoped Franny would like it.
At six o’clock he made a final inspection, then grabbed his coat and headed toward Suds Row. At least Jessica wouldn’t have to wash clothes anymore. She could marry her rich suitor and go off to a life of leisure. He had been out of his mind to try to change her.
The door was opened almost immediately at his knock. He had expected to find Jessica and Franny both in tears, but Jessica was smiling when she opened the door.
“You’re a bit late,” she said cheerfully. “Franny was beginning to fret.”
Had she told Franny yet? Did she think he’d changed his mind?
Franny squealed and ran to him. “Uncle Clay, Jessie said I get to go stay with you for a little bit.”
He picked her up and kissed her. “I’m real excited about it, too.”
She patted his face. “I’ll try not to let you be sad,” she said. “Mommy and Daddy are in heaven together. They aren’t sad, and Jessie says we shouldn’t be too sad, either. We can miss them, but we should be happy they are with Jesus. That’s what Jessie says.”
His mouth dropped open, and he quickly shut it. He shot a look at Jessica, but she just looked serenely back. “Jessie said that?”
Franny nodded. “Jessie is going to learn me to read in the evenings after she’s done working. I told her she could stay for supper sometimes. She can, can’t she, Uncle Clay?”
He heard the anxiety in her voice and hastily reassured her. “Jessie can come and see us anytime she wants.”
“And I can spend the night with her sometimes, and she can sleep over with me sometimes.”
He wanted to laugh but kept his face sober. “Well, you can spend the night with her sometimes.”
Franny frowned, but before she could argue, Jessica interrupted.
“You’ll want to come stay here so you can see Bridie.”
The little girl nodded vigorously.
“Her things are all ready,” Jessica put in before Franny could come up with anything else.
Franny was delighted with her “room.” She put her doll, Molly, on the faded pink quilt and helped Jessica pack her clothes away in the trunk. Clay was astonished at how easily the transition was accomplished. Jessica must have handled the explanation very well. He had to admit to himself that he was surprised by how amenable she had been. He’d expected ano
ther argument at least, and maybe a downright screaming fit. Something was different about her, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.
Jessica kissed Franny good-bye, then quickly left, but not before Clay saw tears in her eyes. She had been braver than he would ever have believed.
The next morning he took Franny with him and went to see Colonel Edwards. The post commander’s office was empty, an unusual occurrence for which he was glad.
Colonel Edwards rose when he saw Clay. “Preacher! I haven’t seen you in a while. How long are you in town for?” He indicated for Clay to have a seat. “Franny, would you like a licorice stick?” Anticipating her response, he was already reaching for one in the glass container on his desk. “What can I do for you, Preacher?”
“Circumstances have changed a bit for me, Colonel, and I need your help.”
Colonel Edwards leaned back in his chair. “Shoot.”
“I would like to establish a church here at Fort Bridger. A real church, not just services that meet in the officers’ quarters. Fort Bridger is becoming a stopping-off place and is growing fast. We need to have a spiritual base before immorality and drunkenness get out of hand. I’d like some help getting a spot and having a building erected.” This was a subject close to the commander’s heart, Clay knew. He’d asked Clay to consider making his home here several months ago.
The commander didn’t disappoint him. “That’s wonderful news, my boy. I’ve had a spot in mind for some time now. It’s at the end of the main commercial district and it should prove to be a good location for discouraging the drunken carousing from the bars. Let me show you what I have in mind.” He rose, grabbed his coat, and led the way out the door.
Clay was impressed with the site. When he and the commander parted, Colonel Edwards had promised to put some men on construction right away. Clay walked away with a sense of peace that he was following the Lord’s leading. He had asked the Lord for an open door if this was what He wanted, and it wasn’t just cracked open, it was wide open. He would be able to have a stable home for Franny as well as minister to those traveling through on their way west.
The Heart Answers (Wyoming Series Book 3) Page 13