Jake looked around at the others as if trying to work out what was happening but they looked equally as mystified as he did.
“You mean it?” Jake asked.
“I do. You have my solemn vow. Cross my heart and hope to die. I really mean it.”
Jake took a long look at me as if trying to gauge if I was messing with him then he thumped his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Oh I get it. You mean you’ll lend it to me and you want interest?”
“No. NO! Honestly. No interest. This is a no-strings attached gift. Please. It would mean a lot to me.” I felt horrified at his reaction and his lack of trust in me.
Jake looked right at me. “Why?”
“I want to help and… I want to be friends.”
“Money can’t buy you everything you know,” said Jake. “Especially friends.”
“Yes, of course. You’re right. I’m so sorry. Okay. Forget the money. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be offensive. I really didn’t, but… I genuinely would like you to be my friend. It would mean a lot to me.”
Jake nodded slowly. “Okay. Seeing as it’s Christmas and even though you are a total stroppy cow, you are also quite a laugh. I will be your friend.”
Marilyn rolled her eyes. “Oh for heaven’s sake, Jake,” she said, “take the dosh as well. Your family needs it and we can all see that she’s on the level for once in her life.”
“I am, but it’s your choice, Jake,” I said. “The money’s still on the table if you want it.”
The room fell silent as Jake considered the offer. After a few moments, he took a deep breath, coughed, then nodded. “Okay then. Deffo. Deal.”
“Deal,” I said.
Mr O beamed happily around the room. “Okay. So who’s next?”
“You can give me a pile of dosh if you want,” said Mark. “I ain’t proud.”
I remembered his family in my dream last night. The worried expressions of his parents. “How about I give you something else instead of dosh?”
“No. Money will be fine. And I’ll be your friend, too, if you like.”
“How about instead of money, I buy your family a house.”
Mark sighed and looked sad. “Okay, so now I know that you’re taking the mick. A doll’s house, right? You’re having a laugh, aren’t you?”
I turned to Mr O. “Tell him, tell him I mean it.”
Mr O nodded. “She’s serious.”
“I am,” I said. “Look. I know I’ve been a pain since I got here and acted like a brat princess, but… well, a few things have become clear to me – like what matters. Family is one thing. Having a home another. And friends, too. So Mark, I’d like to help if you’ll let me. As one friend to another. I’d like to buy your family a house. A real one. Okay, not a mansion, but a house. A home from where you can’t be evicted.” Mark’s expression looked so hopeful that I knew I could never let him down. “I really mean it, don’t I, Mr O? Tell him.”
Mr O nodded. “She does. And she can. And I think she will.”
Mark fell back onto his bed with a huge silly grin. “Mum and Dad are going to be so… wow! This is amazing. Like winning the lottery. The best Christmas present ever.”
Lynn sidled up to me. “What about me?” she asked, then she sighed. “I don’t need a house. Or medical help. What you gonna give me, princess?”
I already knew what I’d like to give Lynn. I’d decided days ago. Long before the dreams and my encounters with Saturn, Neptune and Pluto. I knew that I wanted to give her some kind of present because of all of them, in her own weird way, she had befriended me the most. “Don’t you remember what you wanted?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“But you told me what you want Lynn. Friends. A pet. Pets are the best friends as they never judge and never let you down. Remember, I told you about my dog, Coco? I suggest that we go next week and get whatever you like. A rabbit, a dog, a cat, a goldfish. Whatever you want.”
Lynn sniffed and pulled an “I’m not impressed” face. “Yeah. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Maybe a pit bull. Or a piranha – you know those fish that eat flesh or… a man-eating spider or a boa constrictor. What do you reckon?”
I must have looked shocked. I hadn’t imagined that she’d want killer pets, but then she grinned. “Just messin’ with ya, Leo. No. A couple of cutie-pie kittens would be fab.”
“And what about Marilyn?” asked Mr O.
“I don’t want anything,” pouted Marilyn. “I don’t need anything from ’er.”
“Oh cut the tough act, Marilyn,” I said. “I wouldn’t leave you out and… although we haven’t been the best of friends, we have been through a lot in here together. Please let me give you something too.”
“I don’t know if I want to be friends. You can’t buy me as easily as the others.”
“I’m not trying to buy you! I am trying to be NICE for a change…” I could feel a major strop coming on. For heaven’s sake, I thought, I try to do the decent things and boy, are they making it hard work! I turned to Mr O and looked at him pleadingly. “I am trying to be good here and all I am getting back is ingratitude and suspicion!”
Mr O coughed. “Now then, Leonora, you haven’t exactly been Princess Perfect since you got here. Can you blame them for being suspicious of your motives?”
I looked around at the group and had to admit, I hadn’t exactly shown my best side. “Okay. Sorry. Sorry. You don’t have to be my friend, Marilyn, not if you don’t want to. Just, I thought that I could give you a shopping spree. The shopping spree that I was going to go on before I came here. In fact, I’ll come with you if you like. It’s always more fun if you go with a mate… not that you have to be my mate… no, I mean, it’s more fun to go with someone. Oh never mind. Look. I know all the best boutiques in Paris and I don’t really need any more clothes, so you can have my allowance as well. I have enough stuff. Well, okay, almost enough. Maybe I could do with a couple of pairs of shoes and a handbag and a… Actually… maybe I need a whole new wardrobe seeing as I am about a million times thinner now than when I came in here. Yeah, come to think of it, I need loads of things. Yeah. I ought to come with you.”
Mr O and the boys cracked up laughing and for a second, I saw myself through their eyes.
“Oops! I’m doing the me-me-me thing again, aren’t I? Sorry. Old habits blah de blah. Anyway. Shopping. You. Me. Gay Paree. Are you up for it. Marilyn?”
Marilyn shrugged. “Yeah maybe,” she said. “If you play your cards right and don’t go back to being the brat princess. I’ll come with you if you be yourself. The real Leonora. You don’t have to pretend to be some sister of mercy all of a sudden. I don’t buy it.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“And can I say something to you seeing as we’re on about fashion?” Marilyn continued.
I nodded.
“You look so much better with your hair curly. It suits your personality to be wild down your back. It’s like a manifestation of your character.”
“Yeah. And your eyes look better brown,” added Lynn. “Better with your colouring.”
“Yeah,” chorused Jake and Mark.
“Huh,” I said, and I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. “Like I’m going to listen to a bunch of losers like you for fashion advice.”
For a moment their faces dropped.
“Only joshing,” I said. Actually I was pleased with my new look. I could see for myself that I looked a lot better. I was fitter, too. The spots had gone. And it was a relief not to have to spend hours straightening my hair every morning.
“You know what, Princess?” said Lynn. “You’re all right. You’re going to fit in after all. In’t she, Marilyn?”
Marilyn nodded. “Yeah. And… well… we have something to say to you too. We woz pulling your leg weren’t we? About being murderers and all.”
I creased up laughing. “I knew that. You’re not tough enough by half.”
“You neither,’ smiled Marilyn. “You know, I guess we’re not that different after
all. We both put on an act. And we both have parents who are under some mad presumption that being here might make us nicer people.”
“As if,” said Lynn.
“Yeah,” said Marilyn. She looked awkward for a moment. “I was teased about my background at my last school – that’s why I put on the tough accent here, so that no-one would make fun of me.”
“No need,” I said. “We won’t bully you here.”
“No way,” said Mark.
“Now what about you Leonora?” asked Mr O. “Is there anything that you want?”
“Er… could I possibly have my credit cards back?”
Mr O nodded. “I think that can be arranged, but I think I know what you have in mind and you might not need them as Jupiter is...”
“You going to organize a private plane out of here?” Jake interrupted.
I shook my head. “No. Not just yet because… if I’m allowed, I’d like to help make Christmas. Right here. If you’ll let me…” I glanced over at Mr O and he nodded. “Okay, we’re going to have the best Christmas breakfast and lunch ever. And roaring fires in all the grates. And games. And presents. And chocolates. And…”
Lynn shrieked. “And snow!”
I nodded. “Well that would be nice, but I’m not sure that you can get snow with an American Express card...”
Lynn pointed up at the window. She was right. It had started to snow. I raced to the window and saw that the sky was heavy with black clouds, and white flakes had begun to fall, coating the lawn and the trees and shrubs outside. It looked so magical as the rising sun caught the flakes and made them sparkle with a million tiny stars.
“And ya-hey,” cried Jake. “Joe’s back!”
“As I was trying to tell you, you won’t have to wait long for that Christmas breakfast,” said Mr O.
There outside the kitchen door was the man from the deli. Joe. He was dressed up as Santa and he was unloading the best breakfast feast I had ever seen. He saw us watching him, gave us a cheery wave and beckoned us to go to the kitchen.
The others made a dash for it, but I held back for a few moments.
“Not joining the others?” asked Mr O.
“In a sec,” I said. “I just wanted to say thank you whoever you are, a planet, a guardian or whatever. You’ve been great and, even in this dismal place, it’s clear that you’re a real star.”
Mr O flushed pink with pleasure. “You too, Leonora. You too.” Then he cleared his throat and offered me his arm. “Now let’s go eat and get warm. And not before time, I say, because, you think this place has been an ordeal for you? Hah! I can tell you now, dingy, cold places are not my scene at all. So let’s go light a few fires, get that feast organized and have ourselves a proper merry Christmas.”
“Sounds like a top plan,” I said with a grin as I took his arm.
Epilogue
I got to go home on New Year’s Day. Mummy and Daddy were in the hall at the lodge just after breakfast and had a helicopter waiting in the grounds outside to whisk me away. It was wonderful to see their kind, familiar faces once again.
Before we returned to the Caribbean, I went to a store and bought an angel’s outfit, complete with white feather wings and a halo (not for me, I wasn’t that deluded!). I gave it to Shirla when I got home to give to her granddaughter so that she could be a Christmas angel after all. It was my way of saying sorry for being an almighty pain for so long and I think Shirla was really touched.
My new pal, Mr O came to visit us in the Caribbean. He said he likes the climate better there and, while he was with us, he confessed that I was one of his favourite Zodiacs Girls because I was his biggest challenge. I never did get whether the zodiac thing was legit or whether he was actually certifiable and, with the rest of his strange mates, a candidate for la-la land. He never mentioned it again after my month as Zodiac Girl and neither did I. Whatever. In the end, it didn’t matter. We got a result and that’s what counts. One of the unexpected bonuses from my time in the boot camp was that I looked a whole lot better. Everyone commented. No spots or flab. And I’ve stayed as slim as I was in the lodge. Okay, so I’m not a size zero, but I don’t want to be any more. I want to feel good and be healthy. I came out of the boot camp feeling fab and put it down to the simple fresh food we had in there and plenty of exercise. Shirla, Coco and I go jogging down on the beach most days now (although in Shirla’s case it’s more like wobbling), and Mason’s learned to cook delicious meals that aren’t fattening. He can even make porridge taste divine with fresh fruits. (There was no way I was going to carry on eating it the way they served it at the lodge. I don’t believe in suffering beyond the call of duty.)
I stayed in touch with my boot-camp inmates and count them among my closest friends although we live in different countries (Mummy and Daddy got me into a local school so I don’t have to board and be away from them any more). All of them email regularly and we speak on the phone when we can. Marilyn and Lynn went back to their school and were elected to run the school bookshop, with great success apart from the nights they sneak in the crème de menthe liqueur and have to be carried home singing rugby songs. Mark decided that he wanted to be an actor, specializing in mime. I think that he’ll be good at it and, from his emails, it sounds like he is happy now that he knows what he wants to do with his life and has a secure home. Sadly, although Jake’s brother went on to make a terrific recovery, Jake never did get over his addiction to joyriding. After nicking a silver Merc, he got caught driving the wrong way down the motorway singing God Save the Queen with his boxers on his head at four in the morning. Luckily he didn’t hit anyone or anything but he was locked up for two years. C’est la vie. You can’t win them all.
And in case you’re wondering if I let Shirla, Mason or Henry off their debt? No way! Excuse me, do I look sucker of the year? But I did let them off the interest. I’m not a total Scrooge. They earn a stonkload of dosh compared to other people so give me a break, I’m not the only person who had lessons to learn. Like, reality check – they shouldn’t have been borrowing money from a fourteen year-old head case who didn’t know any better!
The best news though, was that, the year after my time in the boot camp, I was on the front cover of Teen Vogue and there was an article about me inside saying “I was the teenager who best knew how to keep Christmas well.” A fact I pride myself on actually. Oh yes. I am Queen of Generosity, I really am. Even though I say so myself. Oh yes. Ding dong merrily on wotsit. Bring it on and deck the halls with Christmas holly, yada yada yada. I’ll be there. Every year in December. Okay, so maybe on a yacht somewhere fabbie dabbie doobie. But why not? I can afford it and hey – ’tis the season to be jolly.
So, indeed. Peace on Earth and God bless us. Every one.
First published 2008 by Kingfisher
This edition published 2009 by Macmillan Children’s Books
This electronic edition published 2010 by Macmillan Children’s Books
a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited
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Copyright © Cathy Hopkins 2008
The right of Cathy Hopkins to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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Zodiac Girls: Brat Princess Page 13