by Lee Wardlow
I was quiet. They had secrets that they hid from us. “What happened?” I asked.
“I drank too much one night. I wanted to hide from the pain I was feeling at losing Rhett again. It didn’t work out too well. I almost died. I had so much to drink that night I had alcohol poisoning.”
“Is that why you don’t drink now Daddy?” Ryan asked.
“It is. I never wanted to be that out of control again.” He glanced across the table at me. “Ronan, you most likely need to give it all up because alcohol will lead to you wanting the drugs, I’m afraid.”
I didn’t think so. I dropped my eyes to the table. “Still didn’t check out one of those groups I gave you?” Shawn asked.
“I didn’t,” I agreed. I didn’t need it. I hadn’t done anything including alcohol for four weeks. I wasn’t sleeping well because I was wound tight. A car door shut and we all turned expecting to see Skylar and Charlie. It was just Charlie.
“Where’s Skylar?” Rhett shouted.
“Throwing up,” Charlie said.
“What?”
I glanced behind me again at nineteen-year-old Charlie O’Halloran. Petite like her other sisters. Aine was the tallest. Ryan the shortest. The other two in between. All four beautiful girls with blonde hair and blue eyes like their dad, Tegan.
“She’s a wreck. She wasn’t going to come so I had to tell her that it was surprise graduation party for her and she got all nervous and threw up.”
Rhett scrubbed her hands across her face tiredly. “Teg, we might as well tell everyone so the shock isn’t quite so shocking. Then maybe it will be easier on Sky.”
He snorted. She looked at him. Then she sighed. “Skylar is pregnant.”
I heard my mom gasp. “She’s five months pregnant to be exact. She’s got this pie in the sky idea that she’ll be just fine as a single mother. Says it was somebody she met on campus. A one-night stand.”
“I don’t think you have to give out all the details Rhett,” Tegan said in a low voice.
“These people are family Tegan.”
He rolled his eyes. Liam looked at Harley, “Welcome to a Moore Sunday family dinner,” he told her.
**
The guest of honor finally showed up after a phone call from both Ryan and Aine. The sisters met her in the driveway. Aine was about to pop with only two weeks left to go until her due date. She carried this baby longer than she did Grace who came early.
It was an amazing thing to feel my niece or nephew inside her. She let me place my hand on her belly and feel it kick. I hadn’t taken much interest in the first pregnancy only the kid that came out afterwards. I loved Grace. I loved them all. Not enough to not fuck up my life.
I turned as Skylar walked around the car with her sisters on either side of her. She ditched the hoodie that hid her pregnancy when I saw her last. She was wearing shorts low below her belly and a cute, snug fitting top. She was wearing sunglasses that shielded her eyes. I knew why. She was hiding her emotions. Somebody hurt her. I watched Ryan and felt like maybe she knew prior to today. Aine definitely was surprised by Skylar’s news.
Each of my brothers hugged her in greeting. She seemed to be avoiding me and I wasn’t sure why. I finally rose from the picnic table and went to her. Maybe it was still the awkwardness of what I had done to myself. Everyone seemed strange around me at times. Staring at me. Reassuring themselves that I was all right.
Placing my hands on her slender shoulders I didn’t expect the reaction that I got. Skylar tensed. She knew it was me. Then she glanced over her shoulder at me and hesitantly smiled. “Hey Ronan.” Her voice was soft and uncomfortable but I didn’t know why.
“Skybug, you okay?”
“Sure,” she replied. I dropped my hands to my sides and I could visibly see her relax. I took a step back from her. The awkwardness remained so I walked away. I headed towards the barn where I could be alone.
**
I watched Ronan walk away. It wasn’t his fault that this happened. He wasn’t in control of himself that night. I thought he would remember it though. For weeks Ryan and Ciaran were hounding me to tell Ronan what happened but I just couldn’t face that humiliation. He didn’t remember.
He was so upset at my reaction to his touch on me. It reminded me of him naked in his bed. Loving me. His big body filling me up. I hadn’t been able to forget that night. I always had a crush on Ronan Moore. Who wouldn’t? He was older, charming, handsome. Always a tease. A big brother. How had I messed this up so badly?
I let him touch my breast. He cupped my face with his big hands and I was lost. I didn’t know how to handle somebody like Ronan. He made me feel things that I didn’t know were possible. Then he forgot about me. He was snoring about ten minutes after we were done.
I slipped out from beneath him. Dressed in my clothes that were strewn about his apartment. Then, I covered his muscular, naked body. What an ass that man has. I brushed the hair out of his face and kissed his cheek. He didn’t even stir. Then I fled like the coward that I was. Didn’t he wonder in the morning? Why was he naked? How had he gotten home? Apparently not.
**
Tegan walked into the barn where I was. I was playing with my phone staring at Facebook not really seeing anything. He took it from me. Then he sat beside me. “Are you going to hide out in here?”
“I feel awkward,” I replied.
“Imagine how Skylar feels,” he said.
“Yeah, so she won’t tell you who the father is?” I asked. Still didn’t click. Same timeframe that she took me home. Why would it? I loved these four O’Halloran girls like little sisters, like my cousin Sophia. Not like a girl I wanted to take to bed especially not Skylar who was just twenty-one.
“No,” Tegan replied.
“How is she going to raise a baby on a teacher’s salary?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Tegan replied. “Help from us. You know we won’t let them go without anything.”
“Yeah, I know.” I scrubbed my hand across my face. “Thanks for sharing that story about yourself.”
“They’ve been pretty hard on you. I wanted everyone to remember we’ve all made mistakes.”
“I’ve made a big one,” I replied.
“I know she had lunch with you at campus, I guess she never mentioned anyone?” Tegan switched things up on me.
“No man, she didn’t. I’m sorry.” I looked him in the eye.
“Come on, they sent me in here to get you for dinner. Then she’s going to cut the cake and open gifts.”
Chapter 7
I stuck close to my sisters the whole day. I sat with them during dinner. My baby was active maybe because I was bundle of nervous energy. I missed Ronan’s grandmother. She would know what to do in this situation. I had my mother on my ass so much this week wanting to know who the baby’s father was that I finally went to Ryan and Ciaran’s and stayed there. Then I had them on my ass telling me I needed to tell the baby’s father about him.
It was a boy.
No one knew that but me. I covered my belly with my hand and felt him move beneath my fingers. I had an ultrasound at my last appointment on Wednesday. They could see my little boy’s sex to know what he was. All alone, I did this plus all the other doctor visits. The blood work. Each one waiting to be sure my baby was all right. I knew he was sitting by me before I turned and looked at him.
“What are you doing?” I asked Ronan.
“I just want to know that you are all right Sky. We’ve been friends for years. Had lunch nearly every other day on campus for the last three years while I was in law school. I looked forward to those lunches,” he told me.
I looked into his handsome face. His pale-green eyes against his tannish skin, his dark hair falling over his brow right now and I wanted to shove my fingers through his hair but he wasn’t looking at me that way. He would be horrified at what we had done. So would everyone else.
“I’m fine,” I told him.
Ronan put his arm around my shoulder.
His fingers that were long were splayed casually across me. His thumb absently caressed my neck. “You know if you need anything I’m here for you.”
“I could only nod.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. Then he got up and went away and I could breathe again. Ryan took his place. She looked at me then she looked across at the playset where James, Annie and Grace were playing with Charlotte. Sophia was holding Asia watching them all.
“So, you do realize that all three of our children look like their fathers.”
“Not really. They have their coloring. Gracie has Fionn’s and Stevie’s eye color that she passed to the boys but the twins have something in between you and Ciaran.”
My sister growled at me then she cleared her throat. “They look a helluva lot like their fathers,” Ryan insisted.
“What is your point?” I was getting so tired of the harassment.
“What if that child comes out looking like his father? Do you not think they will notice? How are you going to explain it looks like a Moore?”
“It’s a boy,” I told her hoping the topic change would deter Ryan.
“How do you know?” My sister turned totally focused on me.
“I had an ultrasound at my appointment this week.”
My sister put her arm around me. Then she laid her head on my shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were having an ultrasound?” Her voice grew quiet. “I could have gone with you.”
I turned my head and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay Skylar.” She was pitying me. “A boy huh.”
I nodded. “Dad will be thrilled. He’ll finally have a boy in his life that he can throw to,” she told me. I laughed then I cried a little. “What was he saying to you?”
“Ronan?”
She nodded at me. “How much he enjoyed our lunches on campus and he’s here for me if I need him.”
My sister found that humorous. She burst out laughing. “He wouldn’t be so magnanimous if he knew that boy was his.”
“Shh, somebody is going to hear you.”
“Like me,” Aine said. We both looked over our shoulder at my oldest sister. She sat down. “Ronan is your baby’s father?” Her voice was getting loud.
“Will you be quiet?”
“The night you took him home,” she said lowering her voice.
I nodded.
“He came to me after you told him about taking him home. He was troubled because he didn’t remember it. What happened?”
I rolled my eyes at Aine. What did she think happened? “I took him home. We had sex. We created a baby. He doesn’t remember a damn thing.”
“Who doesn’t?” Fionn asked sitting next to Aine.
“No one,” I snapped.
“Who is she talking about?” Fionn asked Aine.
“Sky, I can’t keep this from him.”
I scowled at my sister. “You can’t tell anyone,” I warned Fionn.
“Ronan is the father of Skylar’s baby.” Fionn was shoveling cake into his mouth which he choked on when I admitted Ronan was my baby’s father. His face was turning red. Aine pounded him on the back. Ciaran came over to the table where we were sitting with Ronan right behind him to check on Fionn.
“Do I need to do the Heimlich?” Ciaran asked.
Fionn shook his head no but he still couldn’t speak. He grabbed Aine’s glass of water and gulped it down. She just looked at him in disgust. “I’ll get you another one,” he gasped when he could finally speak.
“Why don’t I get it and get you one for yourself,” Ronan offered. He took Aine’s glass and headed towards the house.
“You have to tell him,” Fionn rasped.
“He doesn’t remember. Do you know how humiliating this is?” My eyes teared up. I could see Ronan coming out of the house. “Stop talking about it before he or someone else hears you.”
“It’s a boy too,” Ryan told them.
“A boy?” Ciaran said. “When did she find that out?”
“A boy? Skylar that is great news.” Liam and Harley sat across from Aine and Fionn. Ronan sat the two glasses down in front of his brother. Aine reached for hers and gulped it down.
“Thought of any names?” Harley asked.
“No I haven’t,” Skylar replied. “I just found out the sex of the baby.”
“I could suggest a few,” Ryan said.
I rolled my eyes at her. “Could we just stop talking about the baby?” I pleaded with them. I didn’t want Ronan to find out like this. Not here. Not in front of the entire family.
“We’re here for you, kiddo.” Jamie joined our group too. “You don’t have to worry about being alone. We’ve gotten so much practice with the five girls we can even help babysit.”
“That’s great,” I replied trying to sound happy.
“They can be uncles to your baby, Skylar,” Ryan offered.
“Ryan, stop it.” Ciaran was frowning at my sister, his wife.
I was ready to melt into the ground in a full blown mess of tears if she didn’t stop. I had reached the end of my rope with this discussion. It was hard enough coming here today. Facing everyone, especially Ronan and have them all staring at me. Wondering who the father of my baby was. “She needs to just be honest,” Ryan snapped.
“What bug crawled up your ass?” Liam asked Ryan.
“Your brother,” she shouted getting angrier by the minute. So, when I made the decision to tell Ryan that Ronan was the baby’s father I knew I was taking a chance because she and Ronan didn’t always get along and she was angry at him right now but I didn’t think she would do this to me or to him.
I expected Ryan to lure him to her house and tell him there if I wouldn’t do it. Not here. Not in front of everyone including both sets of parents and grandparents. “Ryan,” I said her name, fear clinching my gut.
“Which brother?” Liam asked. “I have four of them. The one you’re married to or one of the others.” The tension was building. Ryan was getting pissy, more so by the second. I warned her again to be quiet.
“Ryan,” I snapped at her. She looked at me and sighed heavily. Then she looked at Ciaran. She was weighing her options. She was about to explode with the truth.
“Don’t do it Ryan,” Ciaran warned her.
“Please Ryan,” I begged.
She didn’t listen to either of us.
“Ronan is Skylar’s baby’s father.”
She did it.
“What?” I heard the one word come out of his mouth but I couldn’t look at him.
**
I’m the father? Ryan actually said that. It should have clicked. She must have gotten pregnant about the time she took me home. I didn’t remember that night though. What the hell had I done to her? My knees almost gave way. I wanted to throw up. Nobody said anything.
“Did I hear you correctly?” My father said.
Oh hell no.
Everyone was suddenly looking at Dad but me. I couldn’t face him. “Ryan, did you say Ronan is the father of Skylar’s baby?” He was livid. So angry that I was sure he wanted to kill me right now.
Teg looked shocked as he stood beside Dad. I could see his expression without looking at Dad. Ciaran was pissed at Ryan. “Goddammit Ryan,” he snapped in a low tone.
“Yes,” she replied suddenly filled with regret that she had spilled Skylar’s secret.
My head was spinning but the only thing that I could think of was that I needed to talk to Skylar. I took her arm and asked her to come with me. She shook her head no. “Skylar please,” I begged.
“Ronan, what did you do to her?” My father asked obviously concerned as I was when she wouldn’t leave the table to talk to me. Her reaction to me earlier, haunted me now. I didn’t know. I released Skylar immediately. I took a step back from her.
Coach walked over to me. “What the hell is going on?” He asked.
Dad looked between us. “Ronan, I don’t think I know you anymore. I’m not sure that I want to. You just need to leave
.” I nodded but where would I go? I no longer had an apartment.
“You can go to our house,” Ciaran told me knowing what I was thinking. He was my twin. He understood me and could read me. My head was in a bad place. I just needed to ask Skylar questions or maybe Ciaran had the answers I needed.
“Next door to Mom and Dad,” I replied softly.
Before anyone else could speak up, Coach took out some keys and handed me one. “Go to my cabin. You can stay there as long as you want Ronan.” His voice was soft and understanding. His eyes filled with compassion I wasn’t sure that I deserved.
I went to my car and turned back once to look at Skylar. The shock of what they said, she was pregnant with my baby left me reeling. I just wanted to talk to her. I wanted to know what happened between us.
**
The look on his face was horrible. The words that his father said to him heartbreaking. I saw him looking at me then he climbed in his car and drove away. I should have just spoken to him but not here and not now.
Mom and Stevie walked over to the table where we had been sitting. She sat beside me with Stevie standing behind her. No pressure at all with both of them hovering. “Is it true?” Mom asked me.
I nodded. “Want to explain how this happened?” She asked barely controlling her tears.
“I saw him one night at a night club. He was in pretty bad shape. He kissed me.” I glanced around at everyone staring at me then I swallowed my tears so I could continue. I looked back at the table top so I didn’t have to look at anyone. “Ronan asked me to take him home.” I could feel the tears welling in my eyes again. All I could see in my head was Ronan’s horrified face. Aine rose from the picnic table where she was sitting and stood behind me too, near Stevie. She wrapped her arms around my chest comforting me as my big sister always did. I started bawling at the touch of her hands on me.
“He doesn’t remember,” she explained. “He didn’t know.”
“Oh good lord,” Stevie said while my sister continued to comfort me. Stevie slapped her forehead.
“He just wanted to talk to me,” I sobbed.