by Lee Wardlow
I took the elevators up to the maternity wing. There sat my parents with Tegan and Rhett. My brothers Fionn and Ciaran. My grandfather. Skylar’s grandparents, Bobby and Shay. I stopped at the entrance to the waiting area overwhelmed with emotion. The birth of my son wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t due for three more weeks. There wasn’t supposed to be blood and fear. Only happiness. What if I lost them both? I pressed my fingers into my eyes and tried not to cry.
Mom walked over to me. “Come sit down and tell us what happened. Sky just said she was going to the hospital.”
I sat between her and Rhett. I leaned on my knees and clasped my hands between my legs to stop them from shaking. Her blood was on my shirt I realized that is how they knew something was wrong. “She was in the bathroom and screamed for me.” She was afraid. So was I.
“I called her doctor who said to bring her in.” I was dressing as quickly as I could. Was it fast enough? I glanced at the clock on the wall. Only forty-five minutes passed since she woke me. We had been here a good ten, I thought. Maybe longer. “She said it was only light bleeding.” I rubbed my hand across my face. “The kids went to the farm while we came to the hospital.”
“Aine texted me they got there okay,” Fionn told me knowing I would be worried about them too.
I glanced up at him. “Thanks man.” One less thing to worry about. “Then we were about five minutes away when she told me the bleeding was worse. A lot worse.” I drove as fast as I could. Didn’t I? “I carried her inside and they took her from me. I don’t even know what is going on.”
Mom got up. “Let me see what I can find out Ronan.”
She disappeared for about five minutes. When she returned, I jumped up from my chair. “What is it?” I asked.
“Honey, relax. They have Skylar in an OR. They are doing an emergency C-Section.”
“Why?” I can’t lose her. “Is she all right? Is Luke?”
“We’ll know soon. Twenty minutes, I promise,” Mom informed me.
I sat back down in the chair where I was sitting and I focused on the wall clock. My eyes never left the ticking hand. In my head, I begged god to not take Sky or Luke from me. He gave me this second chance to do something right. I wouldn’t survive without them. I knew it wasn’t fair to put my recovery on them but I needed them. I loved them both so much. I just kept praying.
Rhett took my hand and squeezed it. She smiled at me. “Everything will be okay Ronan.”
“Promise me?” I asked.
She nodded.
Tegan paced. Dad was pale. “Dad are you all right?” I asked.
“Yeah, I told you I thought I might be coming down with something. Chest feels tight.”
Mom looked at Dad. “Are you sure Declan?”
“Sure, I’m sure,” he replied. “I won’t get to hold my grandson today but soon.”
I hoped they were right. Close to when Mom said I would know. The doctor appeared. “Ronan,” I jumped out of my chair and was immediately surrounded by my family. Mom’s comforting hand rested on my arm. Rhett took my hand.
“They’re both okay. We put Skylar under to do the C-Section. There was a small tear in the placenta that started the bleeding so heavily by the time you got here. We delivered a healthy baby boy. A good sized one too. He’s seven pounds and two ounces. For three weeks early, that is amazing.”
I almost crumpled to the ground with relief. “When can I see him and Skylar?”
“She’s still under,” the doctor told me.
“Is he breathing on his own?” My mother asked. Always the nurse; knowing the right questions to ask.
“Yes, he’s great. No problems at all. He’s on his way to the nursery. I would suggest you go there and see him while Skylar is in recovery. Ronan, by the time you come back to recovery she should be waking and you can see her too.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
Mom guided me to the nursery. She pecked on the window. The nurse knew her and waved. She went to my son’s crib and picked him up, bringing him to the window for us to see. Gramps grabbed my shoulder and gripped it tight. He looked a lot like him. I turned and smiled. “He looks like you,” I said.
“He looks like me and my Pa,” he agreed.
The nurse motioned for me to come in. I went to the door and showed her my wrist band not that I needed to. She knew I was Stevie Moore’s son, Ronan. She guided me to a rocking chair near the window where everyone could see me holding him. Once I was situated in the chair she laid Luke in my arms. His eyes were closed at first and when they opened I cried like a heartbroken man.
My tears fell on his face. He blinked at me. I removed his hat so I could see his head. He had a tuff of black hair. The nurse laughed at me when I couldn’t get his little hat back on him so she helped me.
I unwrapped his blanket and counted his fingers and his toes. I ran my finger down his chest. He started to cry. I thought he was cold so I wrapped him back up. He continued to cry. I glanced up at the nurse. She handed me a bottle. I had done this before. I popped it into his mouth and he sucked hard on the nipple.
“What’s his name?” She asked.
“Luke Ronan Moore,” I replied.
“Named after Daddy isn’t he?” She asked.
“He is.”
“He’s a handsome little boy,” She said.
“Thanks. I can’t wait for Mommy to see him.”
I glanced up at my family watching me. My dad wrapped his arm around my mother’s shoulders. They were both looking at me with pride on their faces. That was something I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Rhett rested her head against Tegan’s shoulder. She was smiling with a look of contentment. Gramps stood behind them all with tears glistening on the edges of his lashes. I tried to see this from his perspective. Another generation of Moore men coming into the world. I glanced down at my son.
“You have a lot to live up to Luke,” I whispered. “That is your great-grandpa out there. He is one helluva guy. I’ll tell you about him someday when there is more time.”
My brothers were all lined up to the left of my Gramps. My twin and Fionn. Part of the triple threat. Maybe I should stop thinking of Ciaran as my twin and think of the three of us as just brothers. We always seemed to separate him from us because Ciaran and I were identical. An oddity for sure. I wanted him to never feel less than what he was ever again. Damn, I loved my brothers.
“Those are you uncles too,” I told him. “You will never be without love Luke. There are a ton of us to love you, son.”
He finished his bottle. I burped him and Mom tapped on the glass again. She smiled and motioned for me to come on. I could see Skylar now. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of Luke. “When can Skylar see him?” I asked.
“When she gets settled in her room let the nurse know and we’ll bring him to her. He’s doing great for being early.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
We went back to recovery. The others sat down while I went to recovery to see Skylar. A nurse met me and guided me to a curtained area where she was. She was still woozy but smiled when I entered.
“They said you were seeing Luke,” she whispered.
“I was,” I replied. I showed her the picture on my phone. Then I leaned over her and kissed her forehead. “I was so scared Sky.”
“Everything is okay Ronan,” she responded. “I promised.”
It was okay but I was terrified when they rolled her away from me. I sat on the stool by the bed and laid my head by her shoulder. “Do you understand?”
“What Ronan?”
“I can’t live without you Skylar?”
She ran her fingers through my hair. “I love you Ronan Moore.”
“I love you too.”
“Are the kids okay?” She asked.
“They are. Aine texted Fionn that they got to the farm just fine.”
“Good.” I could tell she was still groggy. “I can’t wait to hold him.”
“He’s pretty sweet.”
I told her about giving him a bottle and burping him. Telling Luke about Gramps and his uncles.
She was quiet then. So I just held her hand, staring at her and I thanked god for her. An hour later, they were moving her to her room. I went to the waiting area to let everyone know. Luke could come to her room and they could all hold him there.
I stepped through the doors with a smile on my face. Shay, Bobby and Rhett were the only people there. “Where is everyone?” I asked glancing around the nearly empty waiting room.
Rhett rose from the chair where she was sitting. “Your dad collapsed honey. They rushed him down to the ER. Everyone went with him but us. We stayed here to be with you. Tegan told me he would text me as soon as they know something.”
**
I was sitting in a chair by Skylar’s bed holding my son. The room was empty except for us. She would have to stay in the hospital for three days. The doctor was pretty certain that Luke could come home with us too. Skylar was sleeping right now. I just wanted to hang onto Luke and Skylar right now. So many things were going through my head. I was grateful that Dad and I made up before this happened. I raised Luke and kissed his forehead.
The aortic valve in my dad’s heart failed; had been failing for some time. He ignored the symptoms until he had a heart attack and probably would have died had he not been here at the hospital waiting for his grandson to be born. He was in surgery right now, getting it replaced.
Mom, Tegan and Rhett, Shawn and Bronagh Martin, Ian and Delany Black, Coach and my Aunt Codi Gatlin, Scarlett and Ben Murdoch and my Uncle Noah and Aunt Lexi were with her. Shay was tired. She and Bobby went home. Rhett promised to call them as soon as Dad was out of surgery. My brothers were there as well with their wives. My Aunt Codi’s girls were watching their kids. Sophia and Seth were out of town right now but we called her to let her know about Dad.
Gramps walked through the door. “Any word?” I asked.
“No, I just needed to stretch my legs. I wanted to know if you would let me hold Luke.”
I chuckled at him. “Of course, I will.”
I got out of the chair and let him sit in my place. I laid Luke in his arms. “Damn boy, you look like my baby pictures,” he whispered.
“I laughed. You think he’ll be as big as you and Fionn?” I asked.
Gramps looked up at me. “You never know Ronan. If he decides to play sports I hope he’s fast like his uncle not a slowpoke like me.”
“Are you worried?” I asked him sitting on the bed at Skylar’s feet.
“No son, I’m not.” He looked at peace. “I was worried when you were in ICU. I thought we might lose you. For some reason I’m not worried about your dad. He’ll be fine.”
He glanced across the bed and I realized that Skylar was awake. “Can I get you anything?” I asked her.
“Just a picture of Gramps holding Luke.”
I took my phone out of my pocket and held it up. He was in his eighties. His hair was white and slicked back in a ponytail that hung to the middle of his back. His jaw was covered in white whiskers like he forgot to shave a day or two. His face was weathered and dark from working out in the sun all these years. His dark eyes were tired but he never looked more content than holding Luke in his arms. His smile spread across his face and he turned him so that I could see my son’s face cradled against his broad chest.
I snapped the photo and showed it to Skylar. “It’s beautiful. When we all get home we’ll need one of you, with your dad and Gramps, one of them holding Luke. Four generations of Moore men.”
Gramps chuckled. “I’d like that Skylar.” He gazed down at Luke then up at me. “I wonder if Pa had the same weakness in his valve that Declan has? He died younger than Delcan is. Pa was only in his early forties. I went to the feed store. He hadn’t been feeling good for a few days. He also chose to ignore it. Joy arrived at the farm and found him dead in the barn.” He sounded so sad.
“I didn’t know Gramps.”
Noah stuck his head in the door. “Pop, he’s out of surgery. He’ll be in recovery for an hour or so. Then in ICU for several days. In the hospital for a week at least.” My uncle walked further into the room. He went straight to the chair where Gramps sat holding Luke.
“Looks kind of like my baby picture,” he said.
Gramps laughed. “Only because you look like me, Noah.”
Noah’s eyebrow. “So…” he dragged the word out. “Luke looks just like you?”
“He does and so do you,” Gramps said.
My uncle laughed. “All right.” He shook his head. “Want me to walk with you back to the recovery area?” He asked.
Gramps looked at me then at Skylar. She smiled at him. “I think I’ll stay here for a while. When he’s moved to ICU let me know. I’ll go see him there.”
“Okay Pop. I’ll come get you.”
“Thanks Noah.” My uncle patted Gramps on the shoulder.
“Hey Noah,” Gramps said. My uncle turned at the doorway to Skylar’s room and waited for Gramps to say something. “Four generations of Moore men.”
He smiled. “That’s something Pop. When Declan’s better we’ll get a nice picture of the four of you and get it framed.”
“I’d like that. Skylar suggested it.”
Noah nodded. “She would.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant until Gramps left. He kissed Skylar on the cheek. He was anxious to see Dad. Everyone came down at some point or other during the day and early evening to see Luke and Skylar. She was tired but she never complained. She was always polite and smiled. She was always happy to see whoever stopped by even though she was uncomfortable herself.
“Are you ever unhappy?” I asked her.
She tried to nurse Luke. I didn’t know how that was going to work. The nurses were encouraging to her. She was awkward. Aine promised to help her if she needed help getting comfortable with nursing. I didn’t push her. What the hell did I know? I was a twenty-eight-year-old man. If she couldn’t nurse Luke it was no big deal to me. It meant more to her.
She talked to Maddie and Nickolas on the phone reassuring them she was fine. That is when I realized what Noah’s comment meant. She was selfless. She loved those kids as much as I did. She was always thinking of others before herself. Looking for ways of making things special when she could for Maddie and Nick even after having surgery. I glanced over catching her staring at me.
“What?”
“What are we going to do when she comes back?” She whispered. I knew then that she would have trouble letting go of the kids.
I laughed. “Dominick and I were talking about that very thing before Thanksgiving dinner. He asked what we were going to do and I asked with which one?” She smiled but there were tears in her eyes.
“Sky, if Delilah comes back we have to give her children back but I’m sure she’ll let us borrow them for long weekends and sleepovers.”
She nodded. “The important thing is that they are happy right now,” I said.
“What if they aren’t if she returns?” She asked.
“Then we cross that bridge when we come to it,” I told her. “From what her mom said to Gramps …I don’t foresee Delilah coming home for at least six months.”
Skylar looked at me with a sheepish grin. “I hope not.”
I shook my head at her. Then I leaned forward and caressed her head; running my fingers through her hair. “I love you Skylar. Promise me,” I said to her.
She looked puzzled. “Promise you what Ronan?”
“Promise me, you will grow old with me,” I replied.
She smiled at me. “That’s easy Ronan Moore. I promise to grow old with you.”
Epilogue
There is nothing like a Christmas Day at the farm with snow on the ground, the sunlight twinkling on the fresh powder like diamonds. We all piled into my truck. The kids were all jammed into the back. All four of them. Delilah was still in rehab, although she called that morning to wish them a Merry Christmas. I spoke to her for sever
al minutes after they each talked to her.
Dominick climbed out first. He helped Skylar out who was recovered pretty well four weeks after her C-Section. Nickolas released the latch on the pumpkin seat and handed it off to Dominick. I helped Miss Maddie out the back on my side. She took my hand and smiled up at me. Her pale, blue eyes reminding me of pictures of my grandmother that I never knew. A family trait, I guessed.
Their mother asked if we were doing okay with the kids. She was in no hurry to come home. She thought she should take care of herself for a change. Get healthy. Maybe the kids could come to see her in Florida this summer, she suggested? See their grandparents? They hadn’t seen them in a very long time. Delilah and her mother were working on repairing their relationship as well. Her mother lived in a luxurious apartment. Delilah thought she might like the Florida sun and the amenities. Then she could send them back to us.
I told her we needed to talk about some sort of guardianship so that if something happened Skylar and I could take them to the hospital or sign their forms at school. She agreed without question. I had the best Christmas present for these three kids…I hoped. I knew Skylar was going to be happy about it.
Dad was sitting in the recliner. He looked healthier than he had when he first came home from the hospital. Mom was hovering which he hated. “First things first,” Skylar said. “A picture.”
Dad was pleased even if he didn’t say anything. Sky took a million pictures of him with just Luke. Him and Mom with Luke then one of the four generations of Moore men just like she suggested at the hospital. I wanted one of those pictures myself.
Before dinner, I told Dad what Delilah said about her kids. She was ready to leave them with me and Skylar for an indefinite period. He patted me on the shoulder and said. “You are a great dad Ronan. Those kids are lucky to have you.”
“I learned from you,” I told him.
“I’ve made lots of mistakes Ronan. I need to own up to that just like you have with your drug overdose. I’m really proud of you.”
“Dad, I still have a long way to go.” The fear was there that I could relapse. I struggled with it every day. I kept reminding myself that Skylar, Luke and the LaBenito children were counting on me. I couldn’t let them or most importantly myself down by using again.