Seeing Her

by Maria Jackson

  She had thought it over as much as she needed to.

  And she resolved to spend even more time with Jennie.

  SIX

  Jennie took a long sip from her beer and leaned against the counter. Coming to this party might have been a bad idea. Her coworkers were pretty decent, but they also reminded her of work. Every moment she spent looking at them worsened her mood.

  She’d been working at Jubblies for over a year now. That meant a year of wearing tight, revealing clothes and putting herself on display for men to gawk at her. She wasn’t even into men! Yet because of her job, they all thought she was both available and interested. Long ago, she’d invented a fake boyfriend, and she brought him up roughly ten times a night.

  She wouldn’t have been much happier at a regular restaurant, either. She wanted to do more with her life than waiting tables. She was capable of so much more, but she’d caught a few bad breaks when she was younger, and now she didn’t know how to get onto a better path.

  “You want to smoke a joint?” Kylie asked.

  “Sure.” Jennie could use that to take the edge off how she was feeling right now. She pulled her stash out of her pocket, but Kylie was one step ahead of her. She’d already whipped out a joint.

  “Not in here!” Alyssa called out. “Take it out to the balcony.”

  “Everybody who’s going to smoke can’t fit on the balcony,” Kylie said. “We can pass it around in here, and I’ll scrub everything down later.”

  With Alyssa’s reluctant permission, Kylie lit up the joint. They passed it from person to person. Even though Paula didn’t partake, Jennie only got the chance to have two tokes. She’d hardly even feel anything from that.

  Still, she was starting to enjoy the conversation when a knock came at the door. Alyssa went over to open it. Jennie glanced over indifferently… and then her heart sped up as the girl she’d been thinking about all day walked in.

  Everyone seemed startled by Chloe’s presence. “Hey,” Alyssa called from the couch. Jennie could tell she didn’t know quite what to do with Chloe. “Uh, I’ll get you a beer.”

  Chloe accepted it awkwardly. Her discomfort was visible as her eyes swept around the room. She’d been brave just to show up here. Jennie had an inexplicable urge to hug her and tell her everything would be okay.

  “Chloe, you came,” Paula said, getting up to bring her inside.

  Jennie could barely hear the girl’s voice as she answered. “Yeah, I decided to come after all. Why not, right? I’ve missed a lot of these parties.”

  “Well, take a seat.”

  Chloe glanced around the room, frowning. It seemed to Jennie that Paula was abandoning her too soon. But who was she to judge? The two of them had known each other for a long time. She didn’t know their relationship.

  The poor girl looked so lost. Jennie waved her over. “You can sit next to me.”

  As Chloe approached, an unplanned smile broke across Jennie’s face. She was glad Chloe had come. She’d wanted to spend more time with Chloe, and now she was going to get the chance. Her presence was definitely going to make this night a whole lot more interesting.

  Moving over, Jennie made room for her on the couch. “How’s it going?”

  “Good,” Chloe nearly whispered. She looked away without asking Jennie how she was.

  If it had been anyone different, Jennie would’ve felt rejected. But she was starting to be able to read Chloe. And the timid little glance that Chloe darted at her told her everything she needed to know.

  Next time she had a moment alone with Chloe, Jennie wouldn’t rush her. She’d go more slowly and treat Chloe more gently. Chloe probably didn’t have too much experience, regardless of what she claimed. And Jennie was already certain there would be a next time.

  The joint was making its way around to them, and Jennie offered it to her. “You want to smoke?”

  “Oh, no. It’s okay.”

  It figured. Jennie passed the joint to Kylie without taking another puff for herself. She put her hand on the couch, only an inch away from Chloe’s leg. It itched to be set on her knee again. Jennie was dying to touch her. This was too fast, though. She would wait until Chloe was comfortable. Even if that took a while, she could wait.

  Chloe sipped her drink quietly, her face betraying her dislike for the taste. Jennie had to laugh at the way her lips pinched together. Chloe was definitely interesting. She was so different from anyone else that Jennie might even be able to feel something for her. Maybe it was all the couples around, or maybe it was the alcohol and the weed mellowing her out, but she was starting to believe that she could.

  Jennie had never been in an official relationship in her life. She had sex, yes. It wasn’t hard for her to get. She always had a fuck buddy or two on the go, someone she could hit up for a quick round at three in the morning. She’d never needed much more than that.

  With a late-night text, she could have a pretty girl delivered directly to her door. Who could ask for more? Companionship was great and all, but it wasn’t for her. She was fine on her own. She knew the perils of relying on anyone else.

  “You still don’t want to get high, huh?” she asked Chloe.

  Chloe shook her head shyly.

  On the other side of the room, Paula’s head whipped around to look at them. “What do you mean, still?”

  So Paula was listening to their private conversation. Jennie’s words had been meant for Chloe alone, and she didn’t feel like explaining herself to Paula.

  “Nothing,” she told her. She lowered her voice as she spoke to Chloe alone. “Just let me know if you ever do want to try. Or if you don’t, that’s cool too. I’m a little too old to be peer-pressuring anyone.”

  Chloe’s deep brown eyes were wide, but she nodded. Jennie resisted the urge to lean in and put her arm around her. She wanted to hear her voice again.

  The place had been quiet following Chloe’s arrival, but the waitresses adjusted to the new dynamic. The conversation picked back up again as the girls started reminiscing about how they’d ended up working at Jubblies.

  Bored of hearing the others talk, Jennie turned to Chloe. “How’d you get here? I know you and Paula knew each other before, but how’d you get into this exactly?”

  Everyone in the room looked at Chloe, and her eyes widened at being put on the spot. Her fear was almost palpable. Jennie kind of wanted to take back the question. She’d only wanted to bring Chloe out of her shell. Instead, she seemed to have made her even more nervous.

  After a second, though, Chloe swallowed and started to talk. “When I found out Paula was working here, I thought maybe I could do it too. She didn’t want me to try because she thought it would be hard for me. My parents talked to her parents, and they convinced her to help me get hired.”

  “You got your parents involved? Really?”

  “Well, I never told them what specific restaurant the job was at.”

  Jennie nodded. That made more sense. She had a hard time seeing Chloe lying to anyone, but then Chloe was full of surprises. She’d already learned all kinds of things about Chloe that would have shocked her a day earlier.

  “They still don’t know it’s Jubblies? You don’t mind lying to them about what you do every night?”

  “It’s not that big of a deal,” Chloe said. “I told them I don’t like talking about work. I said I spend too much time there, and I have better things to think about when I’m outside.”

  She was downright devious. Jennie liked finding these new layers in the girl. “And that worked?”

  “Well enough,” Chloe said. “They kept asking me questions at first, but they’re mostly happy that I can keep a job at all. It was dicey for a while. I spent a long time without a job. I don’t exactly interview well.”

  Jennie could imagine. If interviews were tough for the average person, they had to be a million times worse for Chloe. “It’s nice that Paula could help you,” she said carefully. No need to let her dislike show. “And it turned out that y
ou were right. You can wait tables, obviously. Even in a skimpy outfit.”

  Taking another sip of her beer, Chloe’s face pinched up again. “That’s true. Everything worked out for the best. Paula just likes to be protective of me. She doesn’t realize that I’m grown up.”

  Even though Chloe was talking, her voice was getting softer with each word. At this point, Jennie was probably the only one who could hear her properly. Still, she was opening up. Jennie was proud of her for that.

  And she was proud of herself for getting Chloe to do it. She had never heard Chloe say so much before, especially not in front of an entire group.

  She took her weed out from her pocket. She had smoked the joint from last night before work, so now she rolled another. She passed it to Kylie, who was on the opposite side of her. Once the girls were distracted passing it around, Paula gestured her into the hall.

  Jennie frowned, but she went to see what Paula wanted. No one else could hear them out here. The party was getting louder, and when Jennie glanced back at Chloe, she looked more uncomfortable.

  “What’s up?” she asked.

  “I see you’re getting to know Chloe,” Paula said.

  “And?”

  Paula gave her an apologetic look. “I wanted to know why.”

  Jennie gripped her beer, the condensation icy against her palm. “Why wouldn’t I? She’s cool.”

  “Yes, she is. That’s why I’m a little worried.”

  Before Jennie answered, she took a sip of her drink to calm herself. “You’re worried?”

  “Chloe is a nice girl. She has a good heart.” Paula paused. “I think it might be best if you were to stay away from her.”

  Jennie’s stomach dropped, and she took a step back. “Excuse me?”

  “Sorry,” Paula said, waving her hands. “It’s nothing personal.”

  “Oh, no?” Jennie’s eyes narrowed. With the initial shock passing, fury was rising inside her. “How exactly is it not personal?”

  “It’s just that she’s like a little sister to me,” Paula said carefully. “More so than anyone else in the restaurant. She’s a very impressionable kid, and I want what’s best for her.”

  Jennie tensed up. She was almost ready to go off on Paula the way she had a year ago. So far, she was keeping herself in check. She had no desire to ruin the party with a screaming match. Chloe was still out there, and she would look at her differently if she saw Jennie get angry. Still, Jennie would have felt better if Paula had returned her anger.

  “What’s best for her,” Jennie repeated bitterly.

  “Exactly,” Paula said. “Surely you must be able to see that you’re not that.” She sounded relieved that Jennie was finally getting it.

  Paula’s calmness irritated Jennie. This girl thought she was so great, coming in here like she had any kind of authority to boss Jennie around. Telling Jennie that she was less than anyone else. Paula was bad enough at the restaurant, acting like she was everybody’s big sister. Jennie guessed that didn’t apply anymore, not when it came to her.

  Despite how long they’d gone without any problems, Jennie was ready to punch Paula right in her smug, self-righteous face. She seriously rubbed Jennie the wrong way. Who was she to tell Jennie that she wasn’t what was best for Chloe?

  The girl was a fraud. If Paula was a real big sister type, she wouldn’t have spoken like this to Jennie. She was pretty much telling Jennie that she was worthless. Worse than worthless. Paula was saying straight-out that Jennie was unredeemable.

  When Jennie found the words to reply, she kept her tone low and icy. “You don’t actually have the right to tell me who I can or can’t talk to, and you have some nerve insulting me to my face. Don’t give me any of this bullshit again.”

  Paula took a step back, waving her hands in the air. “I’m not looking for any trouble, Jennie. Just telling you how I feel. I think if you look inside yourself, you’ll agree that what I said is true.”

  She walked away. By the time Jennie calmed down, she was beginning to wonder if Paula might have a point. The bitterness inside her even scared her at times.

  Chloe was a good girl. She and Jennie were from different worlds.

  As much as she hated to admit it, Paula might be right.

  SEVEN

  Chloe yawned, glancing over at the hallway. While she didn’t know what Jennie was doing or who she was talking to, she had seen that Paula was also missing. That left Chloe alone on the couch without either of the two people she could talk to.

  She was tired, and she kind of wanted to go home. She had gone out of her comfort zone to come out here, but this was getting unpleasant. She had liked it when Jennie had included her in the conversation. That had felt pretty nice. If Jennie was busy, there was no reason for Chloe to stay.

  She hoped she’d see her again. That was the whole reason that she’d come, after all. Jennie was more interesting to her than the rest of the girls put together.

  The other girls were still talking loudly. Chloe stifled another yawn as she tuned back into the conversation.

  “What do you all think is going to go down in the new party room?” Alyssa asked.

  Kylie gave her a glazed look. “It’ll just be a space for bigger groups of people, like Paula said the other day. What else would happen?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Alyssa shrugged. “It seems like all kinds of crazy things could happen back there. Customers getting wild ideas and having sex…”

  “Not likely,” Kylie said. “I mean, even if our outfits are a little smaller than most waitresses’, Jubblies is still just a restaurant.”

  “But Tony wanted to make it more of a party spot,” Alyssa said. “You don’t think they’d try to do drugs?”

  Kylie shrugged. “Maybe if Jennie sold some to them.”

  Chloe’s ears perked up at the mention of Jennie. She should jump in to defend her. Even if Jennie sometimes sold drugs to her coworkers, she wouldn’t sell them to customers. That would be incredibly stupid.

  Was Chloe actually going to contribute to the conversation? Without being asked, even? Her heart pounded as she chose her words. The conversation was already moving on by the time she was ready. Chloe only had an instant before it would be too late to say her piece.

  “She wouldn’t do that,” she said as firmly as she could.

  No reaction. Her voice was too quiet. No one had heard her over Alyssa’s raucous laugh. The other girls didn’t even glance in her direction. Of course not. They weren’t used to anything coming from over there.

  Chloe settled back against the couch, willing her heartbeat to go back to normal. She had tried her best, and that was enough for now. She would just stay quiet until the next time Jennie was here to help her. It was so much easier when Jennie was here, getting the girls’ attention for her and encouraging her. Where was Jennie, anyway?

  When Paula came out from the hallway, Chloe immediately saw that something had upset her. She frowned, wondering what had happened there. When Jennie emerged a moment later, she looked even more upset than Paula.

  Jennie sat down next to Chloe, visibly irritated. Chloe resolved to catch her alone as soon as possible. She wanted to ask what was wrong now, but she knew she wouldn’t get much out of her with all the other girls around.

  The conversation around them had moved on to romance. “So, have you seen that girl again?” Alyssa asked Kylie.

  “No,” Kylie said. “I decided I wasn’t interested.”

  “Want to pass her my way?” Alyssa asked with a laugh. “I feel like I’ve met every lesbian in town.”

  “You mean you’ve dated every lesbian,” Kylie shot back.

  “Takes one to know one!”

  They continued to talk about Kylie’s love life for a while. Chloe noticed that Jennie didn’t speak at all. She kept glancing at the door. Why didn’t she leave if she was just going to ignore the conversation around her? Right now, she was almost as quiet as Chloe.

  Sometime around dawn, Paula left
. Jennie excused herself a minute later. It was almost as if Jennie had been waiting for her to go. Chloe watched with concern as Jennie stood up. She might not get the chance to talk to her alone – not unless she spoke up and stopped her from leaving so fast.

  “I’m going home,” Jennie announced abruptly. “See you all tomorrow.”

  Chloe raised her voice above its normal level so Jennie would hear her. “I’m going to go, too.”

  She straightened up next to Jennie and followed her into the hall without saying goodbye to anyone else. Jennie only looked at her in the eye once they were in the elevator.

  Chloe wasn’t used to speaking first. In this case, it felt necessary. Something had put Jennie in a very bad mood, and she was fairly sure it wasn’t her.

  “Hey, thanks for not teasing me earlier.”

  “Teasing you? About what?”

  At least Jennie was talking to her. “About not smoking.” Chloe dropped her voice to a whisper. “Especially after I tried to buy weed from you.”

  Now Jennie actually laughed. “I told you, I’m not trying to peer pressure anybody. You do you, and I’ll do me.”

  Jennie should just do her. “All right,” she said instead.

  “I’m serious. I’m not about that kind of attitude. You’re probably better off without drugs, anyway. I wouldn’t make fun of anyone for not doing drugs.”

  That was interesting. Chloe had always had the impression that Jennie liked drugs more than that. She wondered what did make her tick if it wasn’t narcotics. Hopefully she would get the chance to find out.

  When they got down to street level, they walked toward Jennie’s bike. Chloe was going to have to figure out where the bus stop was. She glanced around, and Jennie noticed what she was doing. “I can give you a ride. It’s not a problem.”

  “That would be great.”

  They walked toward the motorcycle, their hands nearly brushing. “Did something happen at the party?” Chloe finally asked. “You seem to be in a bad mood.”

  For a second, she didn’t think Jennie would answer. Then the girl sighed. “Well… it’s not a big deal.”