We barely get around the corner when the taxi door opens. My eyes whip right just as Justin slides in. “Jesus, it’s cold,” he mutters.
“The fuck?”
The driver starts talking in a foreign language, but I hold up my hands, smile and say, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Justin smiles at the man as well. Shaking his head, the driver turns back around, placated. I’m not. “What the hell? How did you know where I was?”
“GPS on your cell. Why the hell weren’t your bodyguards there?”
“No one knew where I was. I was perfectly safe.”
“I found you,” he points out.
“Then you win,” I say, rolling my eyes. We stop and go in silence for a few seconds. Out of the corner of my eye, I assess him. No bruises, cuts, weeping knife wounds, or any evidence of last night’s epic beat down. Un-fucking fair. “Are you okay? After last night? I heard you caught him.”
“I did. Thank God.” Justin pauses, his jaw clenching. “He’s only nineteen years old. Nineteen, Jo. Just some kid from the suburbs who thought it’d be cool to become a supervillain instead of going to college.”
“Jesus,” I say.
“They went to his house, well his parents’ house, and found a file on his tablet filled with stories about Emperor Cain, Alkaline, Dr. Avatar with notes on what they did right and wrong. He even posted something called fan-fic about how he was Cain’s son and about them taking over the world. Another about him raping Lady Liberty. And there are millions of stories like that on these sites.”
“Well at least you got one pervert off the streets. How are you physically?”
“A little stiff and sore.” His lips purse in disapproval. “Waiting outside for you in sub-zero temps while you were literally screwing up your life didn’t help matters.”
“Excuse me?”
“You spent the night with Bennett Stone, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. So?”
“And you intend to continue the relationship with him?” he asks, close to sneering at the prospect.
“I…don’t know. Maybe.”
“What about Jem?”
“What about him? We’re broken up. He-He’s moving to fucking China.”
“You don’t…” Justin groans in frustration and looks away out of his window. “I see you walking off a cliff you don’t even want to walk off, but damned if you don’t keep taking those steps. To spite yourself. To spite him. And you’re so close to falling, to reaching the point of no return, and losing everything.”
“Excuse me. I already lost everything because of you, and because of a choice he made.”
“Like you’ve never made a mistake,” he spits out. “Like you’ve never made a hard, morally gray choice for the right reasons. Look, I don’t know if what we did was right or wrong, but the choice was made with the best of intentions. To save your ungrateful life. Even after all this, I would make the same choice. Because look at what’s happened since I came back. You’re lost. You’re cruel. You’re pushing away the best damn thing that ever happened to you. A man who has proven he will fight to the death for you. Would Bennett Stone do that?”
“Jesus Christ, I’m not marrying the fucking guy! We’re friends. We had a shitty night and had sex. Nothing more.”
“It’ll mean something more to Jem,” Justin says, voice hard. “You keep this up, you keep pushing and pushing, and he will go. And you’ll be alone with the knowledge that one, that one you can only blame on yourself.”
The truth of those words drops a rock in my stomach, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let him know that. He’s not winning this battle. “You know I find it really fucking hypocritical you of all people are lecturing me on acting without thinking of others’ well-being. Do you know the real reason I spent last night with Bennett Stone? Because neither of us wanted to be alone after we watched a teenage girl you left to die bleed out in front of us.”
His face falls. “What?”
“The movie theater you demolished last night. We were there. You left a crumbling building, one of many, to capture a single man. Dozens are in the hospital. One died that I’m aware of because I was there. Bennett and I watched her take her last breath. We stayed with her, a sixteen-year-old girl named Ariana, buried in the rubble you helped create. We were there for her while you were acting the supposed damn hero. So don’t you fucking dare lecture me on right and wrong. On hurting people. Your decisions killed a little girl last night. Say what you want about Bennett Stone, but he was there. He’s been there for me. It’s easy with him. Simple. And I can use some simple in my life. Complicated hasn’t served me very well. I’m tired of living on a damn roller coaster. I could use a break on a merry-go-round.”
“If you were anyone else, I’d agree. But you’re not. You don’t do half measures. And shallow will kill your fucking soul.” He leans in so we’re nose to nose. “It hurts because it matters, Jo. Never forget that. Never.”
“Get out of my fucking cab,” I growl, “before I scream.”
He stares into my sub-zero eyes, trying to keep his the same temperature, but can’t even come close. He looks away first and climbs out of the taxi where it’s a hell of a lot warmer than in here. Good. I gaze out my window and sigh. Goddamn it. I sigh again in an attempt to expel the rage. But not at the rage for him. No, I’m pissed because he’s right. When it matters, when it’s important…all or nothing. That’s me. It used to be what I loved about myself. My loyalty. My fierceness. Now it just makes me sad. Exhausted. Angry I can’t coast through with blinders on. Worse, I know I can’t. Fuck you, Justin, for that. Fuck you for knowing me so well even now. My goddamn soul mate.
Makes me wish I was born without a soul.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
When It Rains
Party time. I’m certainly in the mood. Okay, I’d so much rather be at my depressing apartment lying in bed watching TV or just sleeping as my new bodyguards stand vigil for a threat that’s never coming. They were waiting for me at the airfield when I landed early this morning, and the poor men haven’t had a break since. Driving me to my apartment, then all around town looking at offices, picking up V’s present, more office properties, and finally ending the day at V’s favorite pub for her surprise party. We rented the whole place out, well my Uncle Ray and Aunt Leslie did. I’m just the bankroll. They did an excellent job. Several of V’s friends from college, from the paper, from the neighborhood are here along with my three handsome cousins R.J., Bobby, and Eamon. Each gave me a bear hug when they saw me. I am a shitty, shitty niece and cousin. I haven’t seen my family in three months when Jem and I went over for Sunday supper. They adored him. The moment I introduced them all it was as if he’d been in the family forever. He just fit. Hell, I think they liked him more than they do me. Not without cause.
Tonight I’m the interloper or at least that’s how I feel. I’m too tired to disengage from wallflower mode. I stand off to the side in the corner nursing my coffee, listening to the bluesy music, V’s favorite genre, and watching the others mingle and laugh, that is when they aren’t stealing glances at me. The most infamous woman in Galilee in a room filled with reporters, their excitement is palpable. Pretty sure the only thing keeping them at bay are Maser and Zuker, my new hulking best friends packing heat. I left a message for Justin telling him his stalking services were no longer required. I don’t know if he listened, but I haven’t seen him which will have to be good enough. If being conspicuous and having no privacy is the price I pay to get that bastard gone, it is well worth it.
“She’s coming!” V’s best friend Cassie shouts to the crowd. “One minute!”
My phone buzzes. Shit. A text from Bennett. Jesus, that’s the fifth in two hours. “Hey gorgeous how ru?” “Call me.” “Getting worried. RU alright?” “Plz call me.” “Whats the matter? Rlly worried now.” Fuck.
I quickly text him back: “@party. Am fine. TTYL.”
The man is as needy as a teenage girl with her first boyfriend. It’s not like I
haven’t spoken to him today. I half expect him to walk through the door and glue himself to my hip all night. The man’s hundreds of miles away, and he’s still suffocating me. Until I get my shit sorted, until I can think about Jem leaving without having a minor panic attack, I don’t even want to talk to him. When I think of him I just feel…shame. Guilt. Even at my lowest I wasn’t a user, not of someone who wasn’t already in on it. Fucking Justin. It’s like I’ve created a bomb without meaning to and the only people about to get hurt are those I care about. I’ll lose them all if I let it detonate. I’m just too chicken shit to clip the damn wire. I—
“Surprise!” everyone shouts.
Oh, shit. V walks in, blushing and laughing as everyone crowds her. Another of my victims. She hugs and kisses her way through the throng until spotting me. I hold up my coffee mug in salute and nod. I haven’t seen her since she kicked my ass, so I was hesitant about tonight. The information on Mayor Miracle I sent must have smoothed our rumpled feathers because she grins and nods back. My birthday gift should take us the rest of the way. One thing. I can fix one damn thing in my life. I can. I will.
I remain in my self-imposed exile until the birthday girl finishes the rounds, ending with me in my corner. “Fancy seeing you here,” V says with a smirk. “The nerve is strong in this one.”
“You still mad at me?”
“Shouldn’t I be? You haven’t apologized.”
“I thought I’d let that email I sent and my gift do the talking for me. You know how much trouble my mouth gets me into.”
“Understatement of the century.” She smiles. “So, what’d you get me? A diamond tiara?”
“Better.” I pick up the bag from the floor, giving it to her. We move over to a table for two where she begins unwrapping the package. “You lose that and I will have to kill you.”
When she sees the laptop, her eyebrow rises. “A laptop? Wh—”
“Meet Doris IV.”
“What? I don’t…you-you mean this is—”
“Linked to the Justice databases, all its search engines, and research capabilities. Why, yes it is. I really will have to kill you if you lose her.”
“Holy shit, Jo,” V whispers.
“Now you can do your crusading on your own. I trust you to use the power wisely,” I say mock serious. “So, am I forgiven now?”
She stands up, slides into my side of the booth, and gives me a bear hug. “Hell yes!”
I hug her back just as tightly. “And I am sorry. Truly.”
“I know.” We break apart. “And you’re okay now?”
“Relatively. I haven’t had a drink since you last saw me.”
“Awesome. Good. And…everything else?”
“Like…”
“Well, there’s Tweedledee and Tweedledum over there giving me the evil eye, who I assume are here to protect you from serious danger. I’ve heard rumors you’re under investigation for bribery, possibly aiding and abetting murderers, and that you’re halfway down the aisle with Bennett Stone. You’ve had a busy few weeks.”
“Oh, you mean all of that, right?” I ask jokingly. “Yeah.”
“So how much is true?”
“Uh…about seventy-five percent? Eighty?”
“Fuck, Jo.”
“It’s all under control. Well, seventy-five, eighty percent of it anyway,” I quip. She doesn’t smile. “I’m fine. I can handle the Feds and the guards are just a precaution.”
“And Bennett Stone? In the pictures you two looked pretty damn cozy. Should I be picking out a bridesmaid dress or is it just a rebound?”
“I…” I sigh. “I don’t fucking know. I like him. He’s easy to be around. We have similar interests. He’s…great. For the most part.” I scoff. “Hell, maybe I should marry him. We can work on the charity together. We’d have to have an open marriage though since he’d probably bang a waitress at the reception, but at least I know that about him.”
“Yeah, that would last all of a day before you ripped off his balls. Not to mention the biggest obstacle…he’s not Jem.”
I gaze down at the table. “Who is moving to China.”
“What?”
I look back up at her. “Jem’s moving to China. Work. I got the news the other night from a total stranger. He’s leaving.”
“Well. Shit. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. What can I do?”
V chuckles and shakes her head. “Oh, my God. Seriously? Don’t give me that. Don’t act like you don’t have any agency in this situation.” She leans forward. “Look, I know what he did. And you have every right to write him off. He fucked up. Normally, I’d tell you to keep going and never look back. But I know you, Jo. I’ve known you all your life. You were a better person with him. You lit up when you just thought of him. You were calmer. Nicer. Goddamn serene almost. You were happy. And you can be happy again. He didn’t kill anyone. He didn’t cheat on you. He kept a promise to a friend. A promise he made before he even got involved with you, I might add. You love him. Even now you love him, and he loves you. What you two had was rare. It’s true. Pure. I would give my eyes for it. Don’t throw it away for pride. Don’t throw it away for other people’s sins. Forgive him or lose him. It’s that simple. Black and white. But if you chose black, cuz, that’s gonna be the color of your life from now on. You will spend the rest of your life pining for him. Aching for him. And you’ll only have yourself to blame for your lifetime of misery.”
“You sound just like Justin,” I scoff.
“Well, if everyone’s telling you it’s raining outside,” she says, rising from her chair, “it’s your own damn fault if you don’t bring an umbrella.” She kisses the top of my head. “It’s raining, cuz. It’s raining like a motherfucker. Don’t you dare get wet.” She ruffles my hair like she did when we were kids, grabs Doris III, and saunters off in time to the bluesy music playing over to a group of laughing friends.
Fuck me. Come for the party, stay for the therapy session. She doesn’t understand. She’d been with the same guy since college, and they just grew apart. They’re even still friends. She’s never been betrayed. She…fuck. Why do I always feel so damn guilty after these talks? He lied. He’s the bad guy here, not me. I didn’t sleep with Bennett Stone to hurt him. Okay, well not the second time. There’s too much damage. Right? Why…fuck. Fuck! It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. He’s leaving, I have a sort-of boyfriend, and in a year Jem Ambrose will be just another mistake.
Right. Yeah. Right.
My phone buzzes again. Another text. Nope, it keeps buzzing. A call. Goddamn it. Bennett’ll just continue calling until I answer. I remove the phone, but the display triggers another almost heart attack. Jem. Fuck. Do I answer it? Do I want to answer it? We haven’t really spoken since I left for Independence. God, what if he knows about Bennett? What if…fuck. Stop it. It doesn’t matter, remember? Stop it. Prove here, now, it doesn’t matter. I take a second, suppress my emotions, and accept the call. It doesn’t matter. “Joanna Fallon,” I say nonchalantly.
“Joanna, it’s Jem.”
“Oh, hello. How are you?”
“Fine. Fine.” He pauses. “Fine. Uh, I-I-I’m so-sorry to bother you. I just, I-I received a strange message earlier at the hospital. I was in the lab and just picked it up now. Miranda’s gone home for the night, but the slip says Diamanda Roth phoned regarding Doris.”
“What?”
“It just reads ‘From Diamanda Roth, Re: Doris.’ I thought perhaps this was you or—”
“No. No it…shit. Maybe Roth worked out who I was.”
“How?”
“She’s into tech. Maybe she hacked Doris or something. Shit!”
“I’m almost to my car. I’ll pop by the mansion and—”
I stand up. “Well, I’m at Friar Tuck’s Pub right now. It’s only a few blocks from the hospital. Swing by and pick me up.”
“Is that a good idea? This could be a trap or—”
“Then two is better than one,
no? And I’m carrying. Besides if she did do something to Doris, it’ll take us both to check all her systems. It’s my computer, Jem. Come get me.”
“Fine. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Bye.” I end the call. “For fuck’s sake,” I mutter. Just what I need.
With a sigh, I slip on my coat and gather my purse. First things first. I walk over to my hired thugs and dismiss them for the night. Only a handful of people know where Doris is and these mercenaries aren’t allowed inside the circle of trust. Since I’m the boss they barely utter a word of protest. Probably glad to spend the night in their own beds. I’ll call them back when I’m done with Doris. Next stop is the giggling birthday girl at the bar with her family.
“Hey cuz,” Eamon says with a smile. “Come to join the party?”
“Actually, no. I have to go. Something came up.”
“Seriously? You’re bailing already?” Bobby asks.
“Is everything alright, dear?” Aunt Leslie asks.
“You’re not in danger again, are you?” Uncle Ray asks.
Lord, the Spanish Inquisition had nothing on my family. “No, nothing like that. Just work stuff.” I go around hugging and kissing my family, ending with the skeptical birthday girl. “Don’t use Doris until you hear from me,” I whisper as I embrace her. I let go with a smile for them all. “I’m so sorry, guys. Happy Birthday, V.”
“Take care of yourself,” V shouts as I hustle toward the door. “Oh, and I heard there might be rain!”
“When isn’t there?” I shout back before blowing her a kiss.
Actually tonight it’s snowing. There’s already an inch with another coming. The streets are fairly clear at least. Of course Jem’s Porsche Speedster isn’t the best choice of automobile in weather like this. He pulls up to the curb, and I hustle out of the pub to the passenger side. My heart skips a beat when I see him inside but keep my expression neutral. He seems a little better since I last saw him. Still gaunt, hair still wild as if he forgot to brush it, hollow cheeks and dark circles, but he’s shaved at least. His mouth twitches up into a nervous smile. I flash him a quick one back. “Hi,” I say.
The Galilee Falls Trilogy (Book 3): Fall of Heroes Page 18