She may have shut off her heart, closed down all feelings, her humanity but it had always been there, below the surface, waiting, watching for its chance to be free.
So now here she was Maura or Lexia, she had no idea. But one thing she was certain of was the small almost invisible sign of light. That light tortured her, and put both her and her panther at risk, and with the light came emotions and with emotions came the guilt over what she’d done. He couldn’t find her, if she was going to survive she had to be Maura, she’d done too much, the guilt was too much.
“Maura, get up, we have a raid.”
She sighed and sat up looking at Derrick as he watched her from her doorway, he was the only person who dared enter her room. The other hunters feared her as they feared death; maybe because she was death.
“You planning on standing there while I dress.”
He smiled that smile he only showed to her, “I’m avoiding your mother, she’s on a war path this morning... A pack of wolves have being causing havoc.”
She got out of bed and padded over to her wardrobe, the problem was she’d not cared a few months ago if he watched her dress, she hadn’t cared about much then, but now as Lexia clawed her way to the surface... She cared and he knew she cared.
That’s why he does it.
It wasn’t as if he watched her in a sexual way, it was as if he watched her for a reaction; that’s what Derrick did, he watched her and prodded her just waiting for a reaction, some kind of emotion. But she never gave him anything, well she tried not too, she knew why he did it; he wanted to save her... Only he didn’t realize she was past saving, only death would save her now.
“So is that what we are sorting today?”
“No, she can’t seem to get a location on them, always gets there too late” She turned her back away from him and smiled; she’d never had much love for wolf shifters but this pack, she’d love to meet.
Meet and kill.
She mentally shook herself; this was the other problem she was having. She felt like she was split in two, good and evil. Two people living within one body.
Derrick still hadn’t moved, his eyes watched her just waiting for that little sign she was cracking. Turning away from him she dropped the robe that had covered her body and quickly dressed.
Black and leather that is all she wore now, how she missed colour. Would kill for a red dress, just something that screamed I’m alive, look at me.
“So what is the job today then?” She walked into her bathroom as she spoke and he followed her.
“Lex, what are you doing?”
Lex, Lexia, Lexi, how I miss my name.
“Derrick, what makes you think I wouldn’t kill you? That you can freely walk around my space as if it’s yours?”
He walked to her now, feeling in his usually dead eyes, “Because” – his finger brushed her cheek – “You have always been Lexia, no matter how many times you call yourself Maura... I see you Lexi.”
Lexi
She sucked in a breath at the memory that name brought. Sandy fur, covered with a hundred dark eyes. Green. Green eyes as beautiful and wild as the forest she used to run in.
Caden...
Derrick was slammed to the floor, the emotions in his eyes whooshed out with his breath. The sharp heel of Maura’s black boots against his throat.
“Do not grow complacent with my tolerance of you Derrick. One word. That’s all it would take for my mother to have you killed.”
Maura left him discarded on her bathroom floor, his blood seeping around his head like a gruesome halo, how dare he cross her. She was Maura, a hunter, the hunter and she bowed to no one.
Maura found out her assignment and assembled a team, escaping the compound before she saw her mother; Derrick wasn’t the only one who avoided her.
As she drove out the gate, alone in her jeep because no one would travel with her. She sensed Derrick’s energy; a mass of darkness with touches of grey and the light at his core just waiting to get out. He leapt onto the side of her truck and unlatched the door, Maura didn’t flinch as he sat next to her with the speed only a hunter possessed.
“How’s the head?” She smiled.
“Depends who I’m talking too”
“Pushing your luck today Derrick.”
They rode the rest of the way in silence, Maura made her way steadily through the forest the compound was hidden in and out onto the main roads. The raid today was just a house, a small pack of shifters lived there, according to the information she’d been given, it would only take thirty minutes to arrive at the house. Thirty minutes for Lexia to claw her way through the darkness that was Maura, thirty minutes to decide if she could go through with this, was this the day? Was this the day she let Lexia out forever and turned her back on the hunters, on her mother?
The job was easy, too easy for Maura to even bother with and that made her wonder what Lucy was planning; she always had a reason for giving her a job, what was her reason here? Had Lucy notices the hairline cracks creeping over her faced? Was this a test?
As if Derrick had read her mind he said. “Hey Lexia, are you going to be alright with this? It’s been a while since we’ve had a raid.”
You mean this is the first time; you’ve been out on a raid as Lexia. She mentally pushed that thought away.
She glanced at Derrick briefly, how he knew she had no idea but he was right she wasn’t sure if she could do this, whether she could take the lives of these shifters.
“I’m not sure.”
“Stay in the car, I’ll go in with the others.”
“But... My mother... If she found out, this could be a test.”
“She won’t Lex; I’ll make sure of it. Stay in the car, leave this one to me.”
“How do you do it Derrick? How do you pretend to not care? Not that I do really.” She added as an afterthought.
For a while he was silent and she thought he’d decided to not answer her, she turned her mind back onto the road, trying to not think of the pack they were on their way to slaughter.
“I suppose I’ve been doing this so long that I feel nothing, but in the beginning... It killed me.”
“That’s not true, you feel, I can see it.”
“You make me feel Lex; it was you that day... A kitten in the lion’s den. You woke up something in me that I’d long ago buried to save my family, just as you buried Lexia to save Lincoln.”
“Don’t say his name”
“But unlike me Lex, you won’t survive. The way you feel, the love you have for him, you can’t run from it forever.”
“I can’t run from my mother forever either... It’s this or he dies.”
“Don’t fool yourself, there’s a storm coming and no one can escape it.”
Maybe not but I plan on Lincoln escaping.
She stopped the car in front of the house, the two other jeeps parking besides her, they’d even stopped with the surprise attacks now they had her, she’d made them arrogant, she’d made them indestructible.
“Stay.”
Lexia looked over at Derrick as he shut his door, locking her in the car, in her safe bubble. He walked with purpose towards the others and they all glanced from him to her and then stepped into line. Derrick was a leader, no one questioned him, she wasn’t sure why no one went against him, she’d seen plenty of other hunters fight between themselves for power. But then she thought maybe it was because he was friends with her, his own personal body guard.
The fighting started inside the house, she tried not to take note of the auras in the house but she couldn’t help it, call it a sick fascination or a habit of torturing herself, or maybe Maura liked to feel Lexia squirm and ache inside of her.
There were four life forces in the house against the five hunters. They had no chance.
One. Two. Each light that went out, like a fist to her gut.
Three. She clenched her hands into fists, her two halves at war with each other.
Four. She let out her breath, it�
��s over, it’s... Wait.
She’d made a mistake, missed a crucial part. Lexia burst through the darkness; she was out of the car, running across the lawn.
This wasn’t a pack, this was a family. A home.
The head of the hunter rolled off his shoulders, thumped to the floor in front of the four children that huddled in the corner.
Her knees nearly gave way as she looked upon the child that stood in front of the other three, the child which had been willing to fight a hunter to protect them, he was slightly older than the others and he was a black panther.
She missed the hunter creeping behind her as she fought the emotions coming to life within her; never sensed when he thrust his sword through her back. She screamed in pain and dropped to her knees and then Maura won the battle.
Her leg whipped out knocking the hunter who’d dare cross, her to the floor; she wrapped her hands around his neck and took pleasure from slowly strangling him to death. She watched as his skin turned to blue and as his eyes lost their fight for life.
She then leapt from the floor, a wild cry leaving her throat, her legs wrapped around the hunter woman’s middle and she snapped her neck.
But Maura didn’t stop there she turned on Derrick who stood wide eyed at the door, he held his hands up as she marched forwards but Maura was furious. Furious that she’d been injured, furious that she’d never felt it coming, furious that she’d become weak, that she’d lost the battle with Lexia.
“Lex, please... Please don’t do this” He blocked her punch, doubled over from the kick to his stomach.
“Lexia fight her, fight Maura” She had him on the floor, started to cut his airways off, “Fight for Lincoln” He wheezed.
Lincoln.
“Get out!” She screamed as she flung herself away from Derrick.
“Lex what are you going to do.”
“I. Said. Get. Out!”
Derrick scrambled back and out of the house and Lexia turned, looking at the four baby cubs that still huddled in the corner. She walked towards them slowly and the little Black Panther growled.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”
In her mind’s eye she could see the fear, the grey muddy colour clouding his aura, but even though he was scared the cub still lashed at her out stretched hand, his eyes flashing golden with bravery and Lexia finally won the battle against Maura.
Lexia collapsed to her knees, feeling the energy, the power leave her as guilt and sorrow took its place.
The little panther cub shifted. “Your eyes have changed.” Said the little naked boy.
Lexia smiled at him, at the little brave boy who’d stood up to a hunter. Who reminded her so much of Lincoln.
“Have they?”
“Yes, they’re blue, what does that mean?”
“You know how you have to learn to control your panther?”
“Yes, my mummy says I have to try not to get mad.”
“Well it’s like that for me, when I’m mad my eyes turn gold.”
“Are you going to help us?”
“I will try.”
“You’re bleeding.”
Lexia looked down at her chest; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been physically hurt.
“I’ll be okay, it will heal. Where’s your mummy and daddy? Where they here?”
“Daddy is here but Mummy went shopping with my aunt, I was stopping with my cousins” He looked behind him at the three leopards.
The front door creaked open “Lexia, we need to leave. Lucy is radioing.”
“I can’t just leave them” she looked at Derrick and as he looked into her eyes he gasped.
“Welcome back Lex.” He said.
“I’d say it was good to be back but it isn’t. Go shut up Lucy; I’ll be with you in a minute”
“What are you going to do?”
“What I need to.”
Lexia walked over to the phone in the corner and dialled a number she never thought she’d use again.
“Hello... Hello?” She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Oh god.
“Hello? Who is it? Lexi?” He whispered her name, heart ache and pain within each syllable.
“Hello Caden.”
“Oh god Lexi... Where are you Lexi? Tell me.”
“Put Linc on Cade.”
“I can’t, he’s, well he’s... Lexia? Lincoln’s not really able to talk.” His quiet voice whispered from the phone.
“What do you mean? Is he alright? I he hurt?” Lexia tried to take a breath, tried to think past the blinding emotions bombarding her, “Pretty Panther.” She managed to gasp out.
“No wait Lexi listen, he’s not hurt, well not physically anyway, I just, well he can’t sleep and I might have slipped him some sedative when I made food.”
“What have I done?” She whispered fighting hard to not break down under the avalanche of guilt flooding her soul.
“Where are you Lexia, where are you? Tell me please, let me help you.”
The cubs shuffled in the corner reminding Lexia this phone call had a purpose, this was one mistake she could fix.
“Caden listen I’m at a little house off Wagon Canyon Road, a family of leopards live here.” Lived here.
“I think I know it, Lex don’t move, I’ll ring Caleb he will be there soon. Lincoln and I can be there within the day.
For a second she thought about staying, about seeing Lincoln’s face again, she thought of how it would feel to kiss him, to feel his strong arms wrapped around her and then she thought of her mother. The unstoppable force that she had to stop. She thought of all the people she’d killed and the guilt that was like a wild storm tearing at her insides.
“I’m so sorry but I won’t be here.”
“No Lexia please, please, it’s killing him Lex” As his voice broke she felt her heart fracture and tears fall down her cheeks.
“Listen to me! This is important, I’ve done so many things Cade, I can never come back from that.”
“No Lex, that wasn’t you, I know what you’ve done, we don’t care, it wasn’t you!”
“Maybe not but I need you to do something for me, I’m asking you to forget I called you but you must come to this house... There are four cubs that need your help.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going now Caden, take care of Linc... Take care of these children, hide them, hide them so Lucy never finds out.”
“Okay.”
“And Doc?” She said already feeling Maura’s darkness lick around her.
“Yes” he whispered.
Lexia wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up straight, she forced her emotions away and welcomed Maura as she took control.
“Forget Lexia, she died the day she left you, her name is Maura and she can never come back.”
Maura walked from the house leaving the phone swinging off the hook, listening to the desperate cries that called Lexia.
You are weak Lexia she thought, you gave in so easily and let me win.
“Derrick you’re driving.” Maura snapped as she got into the jeep.
Derrick stood for a second in confusion; he looked from the house back to Maura in the Jeep and rushed to the car as Maura glared at him.
“Lex?” Derrick murmured confused.
“She is gone Derrick.”
“I don’t understand your eyes?”
“Listen to me, Lexia is weak. She chooses to hide from her problems, she let me win. As I told I’ve said before, Lexia died the day she joined the hunters.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Of course you don’t, you are weak, just as Lincoln and Lexia are. One day Derrick that little thread of humanity you cling to will get you killed”.
About the Author
Rachel was born and raised in N.E, England and then moved to New Zealand in 2008. She now lives in Queensland, Australia with her husband, two children and the family dog and horse. LEXIA was her debut novel, Whispers of Darkness is the second in the ser
ies and she is currently working on the final instalment to Lexia and Lincoln’s story.
Rachel would love to hear from you, you can find her at www.facebook.com/RachelMRaithby http://www.rachelmraithby.com/index.html or email [email protected]
Whispers of Darkness (The Deadwood Hunter Series) Page 29