Lullaby for the Nameless (Nolan, Hart & Tain Thrillers)

by Ruttan, Sandra

  “Which explains why you’re fading in and out. We can talk tomorrow. Whenever you’re up to it.”

  The blur of the truck, something about it familiar, Nolan’s Rodeo turning onto the Johnson property, her giving Nolan the wrong information, Nolan lying to Sullivan about why they were out there in two vehicles…

  “Sis a mess.”

  He paused. “You said that.”

  “Sahwy.” She yawned. “But it’s twoo.”

  There was another pause. “What’s eating at you, Ashlyn?”

  She closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to focus. At least in her own mind, her next sentence came out crystal clear. “Did you ever have a partner you couldn’t trust?”

  Silence. In her mind’s eye she could imagine Steve’s face, the look of shock as he sat down in his chair. He wouldn’t want to answer the question, he’d want to advise her. That was what he did. Her mentor, not really her friend.

  “Yes.”

  Her eyes opened. “How’d you deal with it?”

  “I…I don’t know. It didn’t last long. I guess that means I didn’t really have to deal with it.”

  “This case.”

  “What about it?”

  Close her eyes and she could see herself standing outside the station the first day, knocking on the door, nobody answering. Like a symbol of the whole case to date. Her trying to find a way in, the boys shutting her out.

  “Ashlyn?”

  “I…I found these copies of the files someone was sneaking out. People are lying. I don’t know what’s going on.” Her brain was starting to feel foggy, and she pushed herself upright with her left arm so that she could try to stay awake.

  “Papers haven’t said much. They named three or four men with more experience, guys who’ve worked in the communities in the area for a while.”

  “Makes no sense,” she murmured.

  “What?”

  “Small-town men. Ahwl togeddah. This…not…not used to dis.” Her brain was fogging up again.

  “You aren’t on the same shift with them?”

  She started to shake her head, then felt the protest of her neck and remembered she was holding a phone. “Nah.”

  “Who are you working with?”

  “I godda young…” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Tain. Jerk.”

  “He’s your partner?”

  “No.” She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead.

  “Ashlyn, are you sure you’re okay?”

  “T-tiwed. Dwugs. Call…latah.”

  Whatever he said back to her, she couldn’t make sense of it as she leaned back against the pillows and dropped the phone.

  When Ashlyn opened her eyes, she blinked at the brightness, which was somehow different from how she remembered it from earlier when she’d woken to find herself in a hospital bed. Strange. Wouldn’t they have turned the lights off or down during the night?

  Against the far wall, the light filled in the gaps. Sunshine was filtering in through the window.

  “Damn.” It was morning, and not first thing in the morning either. She glanced around the room until she remembered her watch on stand by the bed.

  8:57.

  “Argh.” It wasn’t a shooting pain that soared through her as she sat up this time, but a dull ache that spread into her arms but didn’t hit her in the back of the head.

  The door had been closed. She hadn’t processed the fact that she was in a private room the night before. It seemed odd, especially since her injuries weren’t supposed to be that severe.

  A quick glance over her hands and arms told her she wasn’t attached to any monitors or IVs or anything. The tray table had been moved over, closer to the wall, and the cup she’d used the night before was gone.

  She looked to the other side of the bed and saw that the handset had been replaced. Ashlyn had a vague recollection of dropping it before she’d passed out.

  The one thing her scan of the room hadn’t revealed was clothes. As she thought back over the night before she tried to remember if she’d seen her clothes in the bathroom, but couldn’t recall.

  Ashlyn swung her legs over the side of the bed and slid off. The jolt of hitting the floor caused a small ripple of pain to spread up her back but it passed quickly and she made it to the bathroom without reaching for anything to steady her balance.

  Other than the standard hospital bathroom essentials, it was empty.

  Breaking out of the hospital in a thin gown that was loosely tied in the back didn’t strike her as a good idea, and it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t seen her keys or coat either. All she’d been left with was her watch, wallet and cell phone.

  And she’d crashed her car. It wouldn’t be waiting for her outside.

  Ashlyn hobbled back to the bed and eased herself down. Until a doctor released her or someone from the department showed up, she was trapped.

  She reached for her cell phone and flipped it open. As she pulled up the number she grabbed her wallet and took out her calling card, then set it on the table beside the bed. The pain trail deepened as she lifted her feet and twisted her body to lie down on the bed, and she reached for the mattress with her hands to take some of the pressure off her lower back.

  Another day of desk duty.

  Ashlyn grabbed the handset of the hospital phone and made her call.

  “Good morning.”

  “You sound better.”

  “Sorry about that.” She glanced at her watch again. 9:31. Had it really taken that long to walk to the bathroom and back? She’d have to count herself lucky to get desk duty instead of a day of sick leave. “You busy?”

  “I made a few calls after you dropped the phone last night.”

  She felt her cheeks burn but noticed it didn’t hurt as much when she smiled this time. “Sorry.”

  “Have you noticed how many times you’ve apologized to me?”

  “I’m—” She stopped herself.

  “Last night you sounded hesitant. Unsure. I thought maybe it was the painkillers.” He was silent for a moment. “What’s eating at you?”

  Same wording he’d used the night before. She was starting to realize just how appropriate it was.

  “You said something about finding copies last night. This is strictly between you and me,” Steve said, “but from what I hear, someone’s leaked information about the investigation. That’s why the newspapers got involved.”

  “But…that doesn’t make sense. The task force was formed in response to the media pressure. How would somebody leak information about an investigation before they were assigned to it?” She closed her eyes, the answer hitting her just as she finished asking the question. “Okay, someone who was involved before the task force was created has a big mouth.”

  “Well, someone’s been talking, because it’s been splashed all over the front page of the Sun today that the task force believes there’s a connection to some recent murders in Surrey.”

  She groaned. “We’re pursuing that as a possibility.”

  “I think you’re looking for someone closer to home. One of the officers named Winters was following up on the most promising lead. He’d questioned a trucker who’d been seen talking to Millie Harper just before she disappeared. Turned out the trucker’s name had come up when he questioned witnesses who’d reported seeing one of the other girls just before she went missing.”

  Ashlyn frowned. “That’s not in the files.”

  “Winters was originally partnered with a constable named…Tain. For some reason, Sullivan didn’t want Tain on the task force. Something about a tip Tain had, about a cross-border smuggling operation. A bust went bad, but Tain didn’t want to give it up. This is where it gets hazy. All I know is, Winters was assaulted, and that’s when Sullivan finally made Tain part of the team. Winters is on medical leave. And I didn’t get that through proper channels, Ashlyn. I made some calls.”

  Nobody had told Ashlyn what had happened to the man she’d replaced.
Now she understood why. She groaned. “All this time he kept leaving me in the office. I thought I was being brushed off.”

  “Who, Tain?”

  “No. He’s on my shift, but he’s not my partner.”

  “Now you’re wondering if you were being protected.”

  “Honestly, I…I’m so confused. My partner lied to our sergeant.”

  “And now you have to decide if you’re going to get his back or rat him out.”

  “Thing is, I…I tricked him.”

  There was silence for a moment before Steve asked, “Why would you do that?”

  “To get out of the office. To prove I can do more than dial phone numbers and take messages.”

  “Ashlyn, you can’t let these guys rattle you.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “If you start off thinking they’re against you because you’re a woman, you’ll be trying so hard to prove yourself you won’t have any time left to do your job. And they’ll sense it, and only make things harder for you. If you let them know they’ve got your number they’ll keep dialing the phone.” Steve paused. “Look, I don’t have much time now. What are you going to do about Sullivan?”

  Ashlyn bit her lip. “I don’t know. All I know is someone’s leaking info. You confirmed that yourself. All these guys were involved with at least one of the cases before the task force was started. Even Sullivan. I don’t know who to trust.”

  “Listen to your gut. What’s one thing you’re certain of?”

  “That Nolan’s going to take my head off first chance he gets.”

  “Nolan?”

  “Craig Nolan. My partner.”

  Silence. After a moment, she heard Steve release a deep breath. “He lied to your sergeant?”

  She sighed. “I gave him the wrong address for this lead. Sullivan had ordered us to chase it down together, but as soon as the sergeant was gone Nolan told me to stay at the office. I had the info, I’d brought it up at the meeting, and I’d just backed Nolan up on a lead he was following…”

  “So you felt he owed you, and you were mad that he was leaving you behind.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Why’d he lie to your sergeant?”

  “I was following up on this tip I got when I hit the deer. Nolan was…”—she paused, unsure of whether to mention her doubts about what Nolan was really doing—“…tracking me down. He found me after I hit the deer.”

  “And he had to come up with an explanation about why you were in separate vehicles when Sullivan had ordered you to go together.”

  Ashlyn rubbed her forehead. “When you put it that way, I sound worse.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut as she groaned. “This is a mess.”

  “Look, Ashlyn, I can’t say much about the rest of your team.” He paused. “But I’m glad you’re partnered with Nolan.”

  “There’s some stuff I haven’t told you.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  Her eyes opened. “You know him.”

  There was a tiny hesitation. “Yes.”

  “How well do you know him?”

  “I trust him, Ashlyn. I trust him to watch your back.”

  Ashlyn was silent. She opened her mouth, then thought about what Steve was saying. He was a fair person, and he believed in second chances. Trusting someone, and not just to do the job but to look after an officer you’d mentored, wasn’t a small thing.

  “Look, I know it’s probably been harder than you’ve let on. You’ve just got to trust yourself, Ashlyn. If you don’t trust yourself to do the job, how can you expect them to trust you on the street?”

  She looked up as the door opened. “My partner’s here,” she said. “I have to get back to the office.”

  “Okay. Take care of yourself.”

  “Thank you, Sergeant.”

  She would have sworn she could hear Steve smiling at her words as he said good-bye. Knowing she was trying to make it sound like she’d been on an important call.

  Making it sound like she had connections to people who outranked her partner.

  Nolan stopped right inside the door. “You aren’t dressed.”

  “I couldn’t find my clothes.”

  “I figured if we left them in sight, you’d be out of here at the crack of dawn. They’re under the bed.”

  Ashlyn felt her cheeks burn as she got up and bent over. Everything had been folded into a neat pile and set in a plastic bag, except her jacket and shirt. There was another bag with a T-shirt and a sweater inside, tags attached. She grabbed it and straightened.

  Nolan had turned to face the door. When she returned from the bathroom she said, “It’s okay. I’m decent.” As he turned she added, “Or at least as decent as I can be in this thing.”

  She held out her arms and winced. The sweater someone had purchased was about three sizes too big.

  “They had to, uh, cut your coat and shirt. I didn’t know your size.”

  Ashlyn thought back to the night before, the feeling of a line of fire being drawn across her arm. There was a bandage, so she guessed it had been cut, but nobody had said anything about stitches. About the need for surgery.

  Nolan turned and opened the door and she grabbed her wallet, watch and cell phone off the nightstand and walked to the door.

  For a second she wasn’t sure if she should let him hold it for her, then decided not to argue. Nolan stepped into the hallway after her, but when she continued down the hall she realized he wasn’t behind her. He’d turned the other way.

  She could make out the sound of words, but they were muffled by the footsteps and rumble of cart wheels as orderlies brought food to some of the rooms. Ashlyn tried to filter out the sounds as she turned and focused on Nolan’s back.

  Beyond him, she could see enough to recognize Constable Getz and one of the uniformed officers she had only a little bit of contact with when she was searching for files, Getz’s partner, Melissa Keith. Another recent transfer, Keith was a platinum blonde who looked to be about the same age as Ashlyn. Something about the way the woman stood, her expression as she responded to Nolan, and the look Getz gave her told Ashlyn that Keith was in charge.

  Not wholly surprising, as Getz had deferred to Nolan without question at the scene in the woods.

  She thought about what Steve had said, that if she didn’t trust herself the team would pick up on it, and they wouldn’t be able to trust her. Somewhere between being manhandled by Tain and being ditched by Nolan she’d let them get to her, and she’d lost sight of her strengths, and nobody she didn’t know already was going to express a confidence in her that she didn’t have herself.

  Worse than that, nobody would risk their life working with someone who lacked confidence but felt they had something to prove.

  Nolan was walking back toward her with a bag in his hand when he looked up and saw her watching him. She looked past him, to the backs of the officers retreating down the hall. “Has something happened?”

  “What makes you think that?”

  She straightened up to her full height. “Why were there two uniformed officers outside my hospital room?”

  Nolan paused. “I was just passing on a message from Sergeant Sullivan. Here.” He passed her the new bag. “Sullivan sent you a jacket.” Nolan walked down the hall at a brisk pace, forcing her to keep up with him. “I’m surprised he didn’t mention it when you were on the phone.”

  “I wasn’t talking to Sullivan,” Ashlyn said. She dropped her wallet and keys and phone into the bag and pulled out the jacket, cringing as she slipped her arms into it.

  She looked down. Big enough to conceal the sweater.

  Nolan slowed as he turned to look at her. “Is there another sergeant involved with this team that I don’t know about?”

  She felt her chin stick out as she stared straight ahead and kept walking. Nolan grabbed her arm and she stopped and turned and looked at his hand. He let go and held it up apologetically. />
  “My phone call is none of your business.” Ashlyn turned on her heel and started walking again.

  “The hell it isn’t. If you know something about this case, I expect you to tell me.”

  “You aren’t my boss, Nolan. Just because you have control issues doesn’t mean I have to run when you snap your fingers. I’m not your servant.”

  “You’re my partner.”

  “A fact that’s finally convenient for you.” Ashlyn pushed the door open and walked outside. She realized she had no idea where she was going, so she turned to face him. “You’ve been shutting me out since day one. You want me to treat you like a partner, fine. You first.”

  Nolan stared at her for a moment, then nodded toward the parking lot. “This way.”

  They walked to his Rodeo in silence. It wasn’t until she recognized the turn for the station and he drove past it that she spoke.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Mrs. Wilson’s.”

  The exchange with Nolan and Sullivan in her hospital room was still blurred around the edges, but she remembered most of it. “I figured you’d go out there last night.”

  “I told Sullivan I’d like to wait so you could go with me, if possible.” He flipped the signal light on and slowed as he approached the intersection, then turned left. “That was before you regained consciousness.”

  They drifted back to silence. Nolan’s attitude, his willingness to play nice when he wanted something, his presence at the Johnson property, his lie to Sergeant Sullivan…All of it collided with Steve’s words on the phone.

  Nolan was finally taking her out on the street, but it occurred to her that the move came after she’d gone off on her own. You keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

  She realized she’d wanted to trust Nolan from the beginning. She wanted to trust someone, and Tain wasn’t easy to warm up to. He was a sexist jerk in public and a thousand miles removed in private. Steve had given her an excuse to make the leap with Nolan, but it had come after there were enough factors in play to muddy the waters.

  When they got to Mrs. Wilson’s property, Nolan reached in front of her and opened the glove compartment. “Your gun. I didn’t want to risk leaving it in the hospital. Sullivan told me to lock it up back at the station…” He let the words hang as she took the holster wordlessly.