by Laura Ward
“It’s my home too, and I know we can be careful.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and rose on her tiptoes.
I unlatched her arms and gently placed her back a step. “Not here. Anyone could walk in. I feel like I’m breaking some kind of moral code, kissing you in this kitchen when you’ve all taken me in. You know?”
Daisy closed her eyes. “This is so humiliating. I’m throwing myself at you, and you keep rejecting me.”
“No, that’s not it. I’m trying to do the right thing. Problem is, the right thing fucking sucks.” My words were low and laced with pain. I was hurting Daisy, something I swore I would never do, and I was hurting myself.
“I need this from you right now. I don’t know why, exactly, but I do. I need you.” Her lower lip trembled, and I moved my thumb to it, rubbing back and forth.
The vulnerability in her words killed me. She needed me. I brought something to her life. And she sure as hell brought something to mine.
Fuck this.
My head tilted down, and I brought my lips to hers. She moaned, fisting my shirt and opening her mouth to mine. I kissed her gently, but she pressed harder. Her hips shifted, and her body instinctively found my dick. She moaned again, and I lifted her up onto the counter. Without breaking our kiss, she wrapped her legs around my hips, allowing her body to feel the friction it required from me.
I had to stop this before it went too far.
Pulling away, I kissed her forehead before stepping back. She touched her lips, and she smiled. The look on her face was so content, so happy, that a part of me buried deep inside, softened.
“We have to stop at kisses, Sunshine. Okay?”
Her smile fell. “Of course. I totally agree.”
She hopped down from the counter, grabbed her water, and kissed my cheek. “Sweet dreams, Jon.”
Luckily, she left before I could respond.
I would certainly have dreams tonight. They might be dirty. They would most definitely be torturous. But there was no way in hell they would be sweet.
Not when all I wanted was two doors down the hall and totally off-limits.
Chapter Eleven
Daisy
“OPEN MINE NEXT!” Dean handed me a box and jumped around like he was the same age as Finn. Emotional intelligence wise, he probably was. Scratch that, Finn was way more mature at five than Dean was at twenty-three.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Is this mean? Like giving me a training bra every year from age eight until fourteen? Or when you told me you bought me a car, and it was a matchbox toy car inside?”
“How about when he gave me a talking doll for my birthday and when I pressed it he had recorded scary messages? ‘I’m coming for you. Don’t close your eyes. I like to cut little girls hair.”’ Delilah added. Her adorable pixie face scrunched together. “I still can’t go into a toy store without stopping to pee first.”
Damian laughed so hard he started to cough. I looked up at Grace’s horrified expression and then at Finn. He was scowling up at Dean. My dumb ass brother looked pleased as punch with himself.
“I was a kid. I’ve grown up.” He turned to Grace and pressed his hands together into a prayer formation. “Please still marry me.”
The entire family howled with laughter. Dean met his match with Grace. I was happy for him and grateful to Grace for taming my brother.
The paper tore easily from the box. I opened it to find a case of mountain scented air freshener. “Dean!” Grace, Finn, and the rest of the family knew that Dean would spray his sisters before dates with the pine scent. The times I went out with Belinda and Marnie he would do the same, hoping to keep the boys away.
I never told him or anyone else that he needn’t worry. The boys didn’t approach me, so an offensive smell would not be effective.
“You’re eighteen now, Daisy. Dad and I can’t keep the boys away anymore. But this is a reminder. Don’t be too nice to them. Make them earn your trust and respect.”
I looked at my goofball brother and realized he had matured. Love did that for him. He reached into his back pocket and handed me an envelope.
I pulled out an American Airlines debit card. “What’s this for?”
Dean walked over and kissed my cheek. “I loaded it with some cash. I’ll replenish it as you need. I want you to be able to fly home anytime you want next year when you are away at school.”
“She’s not going away,” my dad interjected.
“Why not? You let the rest of us move out for college?” Dean asked, arms crossed over his chest.
Dad’s face turned red. “She’s talking about New York City, son. Not Bloomington or West Lafayette. If any of you kids need me, I can be there in a few hours. It’d take days to drive to New York.” His voice rose with agitation.
Damian moved closer to Dean. “You could fly, Dad.”
Dad tugged on his wild hair. “That costs money. Everything about New York City costs money that I don’t have. And Daisy’s always been so shy, and the city is so darn loud…” His voice trailed off, and we could all see that the thought of his daughter moving away was tearing him up inside.
Mom cleared her throat. “Not tonight, dear. Let’s let this go.” She placed her hand on Dad’s forearm and rubbed. He glared at Dean, but dropped it.
Standing up, I wrapped my arms around Dean. “Thank you,” I whispered. “For believing in me. That means so much.”
Dean hugged me back. “Daisy, you’re going to rock culinary school. And all of us will benefit from that for the rest of our holidays. So really, I’m just being selfish.”
I giggled, and he let me go. I looked around the backyard, filled with friends of my siblings, and family. A large strawberry shortcake sat in a trifle dish, surrounded by brownies and cookies. This was the one day of the year my mom wouldn’t allow me to cook. She and my sisters spent all day making my favorites.
I was spoiled. Thoughtful gifts, delicious food, and a funny, loving family. But I felt off. Something was missing.
The pull to him felt natural and unavoidable. Jon sat a few feet away with Ricky, drinking a beer and talking. Dean had been fully supportive of our Dad and Mom giving him a place to stay, but I noticed he watched Jon like a hawk. I‘d sensed Jon’s eyes on me all day, but with Dean close by, that was as much attention as I got.
I missed my friend. I missed his kisses too, but it was more than that. It seemed wrong to be with the people I loved and not joke with him, touch his knee or hold his hand. I missed all of him.
“Dean! Finn! I need grill assistants,” my dad bellowed from across the yard. Dean kissed Grace, slipped his hand in Finn’s and walked to the meat station.
I met Jon’s eye, and he tilted his head toward the kitchen door. I grabbed a trash bag and filled it with wrapping paper, using that as my excuse to go into the house.
Dumping the bag in the garage, I walked toward the kitchen before a hand pulled me back into the hallway.
“I haven’t given you my gift, Sunshine.” Jon’s voice was low in my ear, and my body tingled in response.
I turned to him, running my palms up his shirt. His heartbeat was strong and steady. That was how I thought of Jon my whole life. Strong and steady.
“I thought my first kiss was my present.” I licked my lips in memory.
Jon’s eyes darkened. “No, that was a gift to myself. This is for you.” He stepped back, and my hands fell to my sides as he handed me a black velvet box.
I opened it and gasped. The gold necklace caught the overhead light from the hallway, the warm color illuminating the gift. On the face of the circle-shaped medallion was an etching of the sun, its rays swirled by hand into a beautiful pattern.
“This is you.” His voice was rough as he spoke. “You are lightness and warmth. You give and take care of others. You’re my Sunshine.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I leaped into his arms. Before he could stop me or control my actions, I kissed him. He froze, body rigid and stiff for a minute before his arm
s wrapped around me and he kissed me back.
And just like that nothing was missing on my special day.
Jon pulled back and turned me to face the hallway mirror. He stood behind me, clasping the necklace chains together. Looking into the mirror, Jon placed his hands on my shoulders. We focused on the medallion, my fingers tracing the etchings on the sun.
“The outside feels different,” Jon said. “But it’s also gorgeous. Unique. Rare. Like you. And also like you, the inside is even more beautiful. That’s where the heat is. That heat can melt through anything. Even stubborn jerks who never thought they could be close friends with a girl and care about her this much.”
“Stop it,” I waved my hand in front of my face. “You are killing me here. So sweet. So flipping sweet, Jon Roberts!”
“Burgers or brats?” Dean’s voice called from the kitchen.
We pulled apart quickly, and I rushed to wipe the tears from my eyes.
Dean walked into the hallway. “What are you two doing in here?”
“Bathroom,” I said.
At the same time, Jon answered, “Giving Daisy her present.”
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you giving her a present?” His voice had an edge to it that both scared me and pissed me off.
“Because I was invited to her party. That’s what people do, Tiny Tim.” Jon crossed his arms over his chest.
Dean cocked his head to the side and glared at his best friend.
“He gave me this.” I held up the sun for Dean to see.
Dean studied it in silence for a minute, and then nodded. “At least it wasn’t a daisy charm. That would have been lame as fuck.”
I muffled my giggle.
“What?” Dean asked, hands on his hips.
“You gave me a daisy bracelet two Christmases ago.” I tried to stifle my laugh. I thought it was very sweet.
“Lame as fuck,” Jon muttered and slapped Dean on the back. “Burger and a brat for me, man.” He guided Dean back into the kitchen and away from any more interrogation.
I leaned against the wall and blew out a breath. That was a close call, but it was so worth it. I held the sun tightly in my hand and smiled, remembering Jon’s words.
Like you, the inside is even more beautiful. That’s where the heat is. That heat can melt through anything.
~~~
After desserts had been eaten, dishes washed, and friends had gone home, only family was left, and of course, Jon. We lay in various shapes and forms strewn around the family room, watching a movie. My birthday, my choice.
“’Breakfast at Tiffany’s,’ seriously?” Damian whined. Little did he know my second choice was “An Affair to Remember.”
“Watch it,” I pointed at him from the end of the large brown sectional. “I like old movies. We can watch all your dumb sci-fi flicks when it’s your birthday.” Damian threw a pillow at my head, but I caught it and clutched it to my chest.
“Ooooo! I’ve never seen this!” Grace flopped down next to me, and Dean followed, scooping her up onto his lap. “Finn is finally asleep, so I’m ready to relax.” Dean kissed her temple, and they focused on the television.
With Dean, Grace, and Finn in town, Jon lost his room. Finn was sleeping on the floor of Devin and Damian’s room so that the engaged couple could share Dean’s. Jon would spend the night here, on the couch.
I took a minute to look around. Mom and Dad were in bed, but other than them, everyone I cared about most was right here in this room. Along with Damian, Dianna was tucked into the corner of the sectional, wrapped in a soft knit throw. Devin sat in the recliner, feet extended, and a bowl of popcorn on his lap. Delilah lay on her stomach on the floor, alternatingly texting on her phone and watching the movie.
And then there was him.
Sitting directly across from me, he had his pillow propped up behind his head and a blanket next to him. My eyes traveled the length of his body. His jeans-clad legs were stretched out, bare feet crossed at the ankles. Something about seeing him in my home without his socks or shoes on comforted me. I hope he felt as welcome here as he truly was.
As I continued my visual exploration, I studied his thick forearms. I wanted to squeeze the huge biceps poking out of his fitted shirt. But it was his face that was my favorite. Brown eyes focused on the television, his lips slightly open as he watched the classic film. I wanted to climb onto his lap and kiss those lips.
Beside me, Grace sighed, a sound of such contentment and peace that I had to look over. Dean spread his legs wide, leaving the perfect nook for Grace to curl up in. One of his hands was on her knee, traveling up her thigh and back down again. The other tilted her face up to meet his. He kissed her lightly, on the sides of her mouth and then on her lips, causing her to sigh again.
I couldn’t look away. I was captivated by their affection for each other. My brother was changed by love. Grace and Finn softened him, but also made him stronger. They were the best parts of his life, and he was so disgustingly happy.
“Let’s go to bed, darlin’.” Dean whispered against Grace’s lips. She nodded and climbed out of his lap.
Dean stood next to her, his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her to his side. “Night, fuckers. We’re hittin’ the hay.”
Devin snorted and threw popcorn at Dean’s head. “I’m sure you’ll be hittin’ something else too, bro.”
Dean walked over and smacked his brother upside the head. “Watch it. Don’t talk about my girl like that.”
We all chimed in with our goodnights, and Dean led Grace away. Her cheeks were pink with her momentary embarrassment, but her eyes danced with joy.
One by one the rest of my siblings bailed on my movie and headed to bed until the only people left on the couch were Jon and me.
“Come here, Sunshine.” Jon’s voice was husky, the sound raspy and rugged, making me shiver. I turned to him and bit my lower lip. His eyes were hooded. Whether with exhaustion or desire, I wasn’t sure.
Slowly, I stood and walked the short distance to where Jon sat. Going with my gut, I placed one knee next to him and threw my other leg over his lap, straddling him. I sat down, feeling his hardness press right between my legs and his hooded eyes flashed with intensity.
Not exhaustion. Desire.
This time I didn’t ask permission. I went for it.
My hands wrapped around his jaw that was clenched and tense beneath my fingertips. I tilted his face up, brought mine down and kissed the hell out of him. As our lips moved against each other, our tongues stroked. I moaned into his mouth as I accidentally-on-purpose rocked my hips against him and my core spasmed.
My body was tight, like I was on the edge of something, but what, I didn’t know. A floorboard creaked down the hall, and I threw my body off his and scooted to sit beside him. We each drew huge, gasping breaths, Jon sitting up ramrod straight and me smoothing my dress and hair.
When a long minute passed, and no one came in the room, I closed my eyes in relief.
“Gotta be more careful, Sunshine,” Jon spoke softly, linking my fingers with his.
I nodded. “I know. It’s just you sat across from me all night, and I missed the connection.”
Jon smirked. “Tell me about it.” He leaned over and with his other hand, brushing my hair away from my face. “Going to bed now?”
“One more movie? Pretty please? For me?” I gave him my brightest smile, and he chuckled, pulling me against his side.
“Anything for you.” He handed me the remote, and I searched for a movie.
Would he do anything for me? He’d made it clear that our deal involved kissing, holding hands, and maybe a bit more, but I wanted a whole hell of a lot more. Would he do that for me? Because while this thing between us had no chance of a future, we had an agreement for a very real present. And there was no one I wanted to explore the present with more than my favorite friend.
~~~
Oh, my God. Yes.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew I was dr
eaming. But this was a dream I did not want to wake up from.
The movie forgotten, I lay on top of Jon, our clothes were long gone, the feel of him hard, hot, and long between my legs.
Hard and so unbelievably good.
“Jon, yes. Please. More.” I kissed him, speaking my pleas into his lips as my hips rocked up and down against him.
I was close to something. My body was on fire, my skin damp, and a feeling was building higher, higher, higher—
I woke with a start. An infomercial played on the television, the volume low. The clock on the DVR read three o’clock in the morning. The rest of the house was silent and dark, everyone asleep long ago. I lifted my head, using the light from the TV to get my bearings.
Jon was underneath me, but our clothes were on. His eyes were closed, but his hands rested on my ass. Between my legs was his long, hard…thigh.
My body tingled. Had I orgasmed? By…. No. No way. I did not just hump his leg so hard that I dreamed we were about to have sex. I didn’t attack this man in his sleep by rubbing myself on his leg like a damn horny dog. I did not.
Did I?
I looked at his face again and a slow smile formed. “You awake now?”
Oh, shit. Did he know?
“Yes,” I squeaked. “Did I…? I mean did you notice anything… Or hear?” I couldn’t say the words. I literally couldn’t form them. The mortification was too great.
Jon’s eyes opened, and his pupils were so dilated that I froze. “Daisy, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. One minute you’re asleep and the next you’re moving on me, gettin’ yourself off. Sunshine, you are so fucking sexy.”
I shook my head and tried to wiggle off him, but his arms wrapped tighter around me. “Jon, I’m so embarrassed. I took advantage of your leg. I mean, how desperate can one girl be?”