I swear I loved that boat more than the girls I was going to marry.
She was huge, fully three dozen yards long and ten wide. She was two and a half stories tall and armored with steel thick enough to stop any arrow but one of mine! She could carry sixty tons of cargo in six containers, and had fourteen cabins for passengers as well, plus five more for the crew. Yet the night guard told me that she only drew a half a yard of water with a full load!
I went down to the engine room and who do I find there but Baron Conrad hisself. I told him this boat of his was the finest looking thing I’d ever seen, both my girls included, and he said he was glad I thought so, but I better not let them hear that. Then he showed me all over that engine. It had a tubular boiler that ran at two dozen atmospheres, and a sealed condenser below the waterline so we got full power from it. It had a separate distillery run off waste heat, with its own condenser to make distilled water for the main boiler, so he didn't figure we'd ever have a fouling problem. It had two big double expansion cylinders that turned a paddle wheel that was two stories tall. There was a kitchen that could feed a whole company of men. There was even a bathroom with hot showers!
Then he got into the armament. We carried twelve swivel guns aboard, plus four steam-powered guns in the corner turrets he called peashooters. These fired ban bearings at the rate of three gross rounds a minute, one after another. And there was two steam projectors, Halmans, he called them, that could throw three pounds of death at the enemy. And during wartime, the boat was set up to carry a full company of men with all their equipment, including their war carts!
Then he told me I better get some sleep, because we was going to take her out in the morning.
Chapter Five
FROM THE DIARY OF CONRAD STARGARD
We took the steamboat out with a skeleton crew: an engine operator, a fireman, Tadaos and myself, plus a dozen of the carpenters and machinists who had helped build her. And of course I brought Anna along, since she didn’t like being far from me, and her senses were better than a human's. There was always the chance that she would spot something wrong before the rest of us did.
One of the watertight compartments below deck leaked a bit, but that was not serious. There were two dozen of them, and it could have been holed without endangering the boat. There were no other hitches, except for Tadaos’ problems with the steering wheel. Once, when he wasn't sure if the water ahead was deep enough, we sent a man out ahead of the boat, walking. As long as the water stayed above the guy's knees, we were safe!
I’d planned to just take her a few miles downriver and return, but with things going so well, we went all the way to Cracow. We took up half the dock and drew quite a crowd, so I told Tadaos to speak with the riverboat men and try to talk them into joining the army. We were advertising in the magazine, but most of these men couldn't read.
I rode Anna up to Wawel Castle to pay my respects to the duke and see if he wanted a ride. Duke Henryk the Bearded was even more important to me than Count Lambert, and without the duke’s support, I couldn't have accomplished a tenth of what I had. On the way there, Anna gestured that something was wrong, but she didn't know what it was.
The guard at the castle gate looked glum, but he recognized us and let us in. I didn’t find out what was the trouble until I asked the marshal, the man in charge of the stables, where I could find the duke.
“Young Duke Henryk is in his chambers, my lord, but I wouldn’t bother him just now.”
“Young Duke Henryk? What are you talking about? The duke is over seventy!” I said.
“You hadn’t heard, my lord? Duke Henryk the Bearded was killed last night. Duke Henryk the Pious now rules.”
“Good God in Heaven! How did it happen?”
“It was one of his own guards that killed him, my lord, a Sir Frederick. Shot him with a filthy crossbow while he was asleep. The other guards chopped up Sir Frederick, killed him on the spot, so I don’t guess we'll ever find out why he did it.”
I left Anna with the marshal and went to young Henryk’s chambers. Actually, he was ten years older than I was, but he still might want someone to talk to, and I knew the man fairly well. In any event, I could hardly leave the castle at a time like this without his permission. There was a crowd around his closed door, but just as I got there, the door opened and the new duke came out. He was wearing an army uniform.
“Ah, Baron Conrad. You got here quickly.”
“In truth, your grace, I didn’t hear the news until I arrived.”
“Your grace?” he mused. “Yes, I guess I am that now. I’ve been going over my late father's private papers. I want to talk to you alone. The rest of you, please tell everyone that I will want to see every noble in the throne room in two hours, but for now, disperse. Come in, Baron Conrad.”
“Thank you, your grace. May I say how sorry I am about your father’s death?”
“No sorrier than I am, I assure you. But things must go on if I am not to waste the work he spent his life on.”
“Have you any idea why Sir Frederick would do such a thing, your grace?”
He thought a moment. “My father was often rude to the man, but there must have been more to it than that. My father made many enemies. He had to knock a lot of heads together to get the lords of both Little and Great Poland to swear allegiance to him. There are a lot of young hotheads out there who thought that they would inherit petty dukedoms and who now find themselves only becoming counts or even barons. Doubtless one of them got to Sir Frederick somehow. But which one? I doubt that we’ll ever know. But I tell you this—every noble on my lands is going to swear allegiance to me, and those who don't are going to wish they had!”
“Whoever did it might come after you next, your grace. Perhaps you could use a special sort of bodyguard. I’m sure you've heard many stories about my horse, Anna. The truth is that she's not really a horse. She's almost as intelligent as a man. She's absolutely loyal and she's saved my life many times. The first of her children are of age now, and I'd like you to have one of them, sort of a permanent loan. The young ones are identical to their mother, and might save your life.”
“Can they run like she does?”
“Yes, your grace.”
“Then I’ll take one. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. My father's secret letters to me say some astounding things about you. Are you really from the future?”
“Yes, your grace. I was born in the twentieth century.”
“And you don’t know how you got here?”
“Not really, your grace. I think it had something to do with an inn I slept in, but that inn is gone now. Certainly my own people never had a time machine.”
“But you were Polish, and a sworn officer in the military.”
“I am Polish, your grace, and once an officer, always an officer.”
“Yes, yes. Then your knowledge of the Tartar invasion is one of simple historical fact?”
“Yes, your grace. But in truth, I am no longer sure just what a historical fact is. In my history, at this time there was nothing like the factories or railroads or aircraft or steamboats that I have built here. My being here has changed things, and I have no idea whether or how these changes will affect other things. In my time, the Mongols invaded Poland in late February and early March of 1241. Two major battles were fought, one at Chmielnick on March seventh, and another at Legnica two weeks later. We lost both battles.”
“But you don’t know if these things are fixed by fate?”
“No, your grace, I don’t. I'm praying that they are not. It is my intent to defeat the Mongols and kill them an.”
“I see. Well, you may rest assured that the ’Mongols,' as you persist in calling them, are indeed coming. They are already invading southeastern Russia. We just got word that the city of Vladimir has fallen. They said it had been larger than Cracow. But it's gone now, with almost every man, woman, and child slaughtered, The Mongols even killed every animal-why, I do not know.”
&nbs
p; “Perhaps they simply enjoy killing, your grace.”
“I see. You were definitely not sent here by anyone?”
“Not to my knowledge, your grace, but I got here somehow. Someone must have done it.”
“Well. I’ll expect you and any of your knights that you have with you to swear fealty to me this afternoon. Tell me, if you hadn't heard of my father's death, why did you come here today?”
“It seems trivial now, your grace, but we just got the first riverboat working. It’s tied up at the docks here in Cracow. I came to see if your father wanted to ride it.”
“Perhaps tomorrow I might have time to inspect it. For now, good day, Baron Conrad.”
I scrounged up some writing materials, wrote some quick letters, and then went down to see Anna.
I met Lady Francine in the courtyard. She had been the old duke’s companion (Paramour? Assistant? Toy?) for some years, and we had been friends for even longer. Perhaps next to Cilicia, she was the most beautiful woman in Poland. I gave her my condolences and invited her to join me on my errand.
“I would love to, Baron Conrad. But do not be so downhearted,” she said with her thick French accent as we walked to the stables. “The old duke had a long full life, and he died without pain, yes? How many others have done the same?” She was wearing a most modest dress that covered her from wrists to chin to ankles, a far cry from the miniskirt and topless styles the old duke preferred.
“I suppose you’re right. That's a most attractive dress, my lady.”
“It is the style that will be worn at court from now on, I am afraid. Everyone knows the young duke’s displeasure with the styles preferred by his father.”
“Perhaps it’s just as well, my lady. The bare-breasted style was lovely on you and on a few other young women, but on the battle-scarred spinsters who were wearing them, well, perhaps it's all for the best.”
“My only regret is that the bare styles had to arrive in the wintertime, and these cover-it-all things must needs be worn now that summer is finally here. If only the old duke could have lived five months longer!” She smiled at her own audacity.
“Still, he’ll be missed.”
“All too true.”
“But what about you, my lady. What is to happen to you?”
“Indeed, I do not know. I am not in want. Much to the contrary, for I had little chance to spend my excellent income. Also, the duke saw fit to elevate me to the peerage. I am a countess now, with a large estate near Wroclaw. But as to what I will do, I do not know.”
“Don’t worry, my lady. The most beautiful woman in Poland will not be left alone for long.”
“Oh, the boys are already flocking around, but only boys. Not men like you.”
I was saved by our arrival at Anna’s stall.
“Anna, I have some errands for you to run.” I threw on her saddle and cinched it down. “This letter is for Tadaos down at the boat. He is to come here right away, so give him a lift up here, drop him off at the gate, and then be on your way. This one is for the people at East Gate, since they have to be worrying about us. And this one is for your servant, Kotcha. If you haven’t heard yet, the old duke was killed. I think that the young duke would be a lot safer if one of your daughters was with him. Do you think one of them would like that?”
Anna nodded YES.
I put the letters under her saddle where she could get at each of them individually. “Oh, yes. This last letter is for anyone silly enough to try to stop you. On your way, girl. ”
Anna sped out of the stables and past a startled guard. I waved to the man so he would know that nothing was wrong.
“Such an amazing beast!” Lady Francine said.
“Not a beast at all, my lady. Anna’s people.”
“Still, would that I had such a mount.”
“Well, Anna’s not exactly for sale.”
“But you said that she had children.”
“She does. But I also said she was people and you didn’t believe me. One doesn't sell children. my lady.”
“Well, I never offered any money, my lord.”
“Sorry. It’s just that I feel protective toward her. Everybody tries to treat her like a dumb animal and I don't like to see her feelings hurt.”
“You always take so much upon yourself, Conrad. You cannot change the whole world.”
“It’s strange, my lady, but you know?-I really think I can. But while I can't give you Anna, I can give you a lift. After the funeral, if you want transportation back to your estate, I can provide a steamboat to East Gate and a railroad to Coaltown. Or you could stay a while at Three Walls if you like.”
“Much of my last stay there was enjoyable, my lord. Perhaps I shall get a job again as a waitress at your inn, yes? I still qualify.”
That was her way of telling me that she was still a virgin. Well, the duke was a very old man. But while I enjoyed the tentative way she was offering herself to me, I had the feeling that she wanted much more than a casual affair. And the whole idea of marriage scares me shitless!
I was saved again when a page called us to the throne room. We got there just as Sir Tadaos came puffing in.
“Your uniform’s a mess, Sir Tadaos. It's filthy! Don't you know that you are about to swear fealty to the new duke?”
“It’s not like I had a spare to change into, my lord. I didn't even know we was coming to Cracow! And I was fixing the cabling on the steering wheel, and-”
“Well, there’s nothing for it now. We'll have to bluff it through. Come and sit by me and do what I do. My lady?” I said, offering Lady Francine my arm.
And thus it was that I swore fealty to Duke Henryk the Pious of Silesia, Little and Great Poland, and my future king if I had anything to say about it, standing between a filthy subordinate and a woman I was afraid Of.
Chapter Six
Anna came back as soon as the city gates were opened the next morning, and with her were all four of her oldest daughters. They said that they all wanted to work for the duke, and figured that he should make the decision between them. Of course they said this in a combination of the sign language we’d worked out and by my playing a game of twenty questions with them.
The funeral was held the next day. Embalming techniques were unknown, and in the summertime, well, these things couldn’t be delayed. The old duke was placed in the crypt below Wawel Cathedral.
The morning after, I was trying to talk the kitchen help into scrambling me up some eggs, since nobody else in this century ever ate before late morning and I was partial to a decent breakfast. But word came that the duke would speak to me, so I missed another breakfast.
When I arrived before him, the duke looked up from a stack of parchment. We were producing some decent paper now, but everything official was still being handwritten on real sheepskin parchment, when it wasn’t on the even more expensive calfskin vellum.
“Ah, Baron Conrad. Riders have been sent out to every noble in Little Poland, telling of my father’s death and my requirement that they all swear allegiance to me. It will be a few days before they start getting here, so I have time to inspect that boat of yours. Also, the marshal tells me that there are now five 'Annas' in the stables, but I suppose you know about that.”
“I do, your grace. The children felt that you should choose among them.”
“Then let’s do it.”
At the stables, the duke said, “By God, they are identical. How do you tell them apart?”
“I have to ask them who is who, your grace. Anna…Please come here by me, and the rest of you get into alphabetical order, so I can introduce you properly.”
There was always a crowd around the duke, but this drew a bigger crowd than usual . I noticed Count Lambert’s sister-in-law, who was trying to flirt with me as always. Both she and her husband, Count Herman, were of the opinion that people should be respected on the basis of their rank, and only on that basis. To her mind, this made her infinitely desirable, despite the fact that she was ignorant, superci
lious, intolerant, married, and shaped like a pear. I ignored her, as was my custom.
I introduced Anna’s children, and each bowed properly to Henryk. Everyone was familiar enough with Anna not to be too astounded.
“They’re all perfect, and I don't see how one could possibly choose between them. I'd be forced to choose a horse by its saddle. But they're not really horses, are they?”
“No, your grace.”
“Well, we must call them something. You keep calling them ’people,' but they're not really like ordinary people either, are they? What say we call them 'Big People'?”
“Well girls, what do you say?”
They all nodded YES, that was fine by them.
“We all seem to think it an excellent term, your grace.”
“It’s all settled, then. Well, Big People, am I correct in assuming that you all would like to serve me?”
The four sisters nodded YES.
“I see, and I thank you. Baron Conrad, you have offered me the loan of one of these lovely ladies. But what if I was attacked on the road by a superior force? I might then have to run for it, wouldn’t I? But I would hate to run if I had to leave my wife or sons behind. In fact, I likely wouldn't do it. Could I prevail upon you? I know you have others like these growing up. Could I have all four?”
“You are a hard man to refuse, your grace. Of course. Since the Big People are willing, you may have the loan of all four.”
“And that’s another point. Why do you keep saying 'loan'? Many would simply make it a gift.”
“Three reasons, your grace. One is the fact that they really are people, which you are already forgetting. I can’t give them away because I don't own them. They are sworn to me and I pay them a regular salary, so I can loan out their services. The second is that I want to keep very careful control over who has them. I don't want them abused, and I wouldn't want an enemy to have them. The third is that I want all their fillies returned to me, again so that I can take proper care of them, and keep control over who has them.”
“You seem adamant on these points, Baron Conrad.”
The Flying Warlord Page 5