Darcy Swipes Left

Home > Fiction > Darcy Swipes Left > Page 3
Darcy Swipes Left Page 3

by Jane Austen


  Darcy

  What's up?

  Lizzy

  Ntm. Did u see Jane in London? She's been there 3 mos.

  Darcy

  Noooo...g2g!

  Lizzy

  Um, OK, cool.

  Lady Catherine de Bourgh Lady Catherine de Bourgh has created an event: Easter at Rosings.

  Mr. Collins likes this.

  REPLY

  Group text: Colonel Fitzwilliam, Lizzy, Darcy

  Fitzwilliam

  Lizzy, ditch LCdB and play piano for Darcy and me.

  Lizzy

  Fine, as long as Darcy doesn't scowl the whole time!

  Fitzwilliam

  #TypicalDarcy lolz

  Darcy

  You and your snarky sense of humor, Lizzy.

  Lizzy

  Fitzwilliam, don't believe a word he says. Or I will start telling stories of my own. #MerytonBall

  Darcy

  I'm not afraid. Bring it on.

  Fitzwilliam

  Well, now you have to tell me everything.

  Lizzy

  I met Darcy at a ball. There were more girls than guys, but he refused to dance w/ anyone. And there were so many girls without partners! #ChivalryIsDead

  Darcy

  In my defense, I didn't know anyone there....

  Lizzy

  And that's the way you wanted it to stay!

  How long can I keep texting without LCdB noticing? Fitzwilliam, are u timing this?

  Darcy

  Wait, what would you have had me do? Start going up to random people and introducing myself?

  Lizzy

  YES! It's ridiculous that with all your "class" and "sophistication" you can't so much as make small talk at a party. !

  Fitzwilliam

  He obviously just didn't want to.

  Darcy

  Sry I'm not the best conversationalist.

  Lizzy

  Just bc you're not the best @ something doesn't mean u avoid it completely. Sometimes you just have to practice the things that intimidate u.

  Darcy

  Darcy

  Hey, Lizzy, u home? I'm nearby.

  Lizzy

  I'm out walking.

  Darcy

  This is a very nice . Collins is to have Charlotte, huh?

  Lizzy

  Srsly. He's very to have met Charlotte, who was willing to look at the pros instead of the cons.

  Darcy

  True. Okay, I g2g.

  Lizzy

  Ttyl.

  Charlotte has checked into Hunsford Parsonage.

  Charlotte

  Darcy was here? What, is he like in with you now?

  Lizzy

  If he is, he has a strange way of showing it.

  Okay, so this is weird. Darcy showed up the other day in the park I always walk in. He knows it's my fave place to go, right? But then the NEXT day he showed up AGAIN. He must have known he'd into me. So why?? But--wait for it--the 3rd day the same thing happens, and he didn't even PRETEND it was an accident. He right next to me and started chatting me up. Like, actual s instead of just small talk. Maybe he wants to set me up w/ Fitz? WTF! I don't get that guy at all.

  Lizzy

  Hey, Fitz, r u guys heading out soon?

  Fitzwilliam

  We prob should, though Darcy keeps extending our trip.

  Lizzy

  Really?! Well, he's to have you along for company.

  Fitzwilliam

  He's a good friend. And not just to me. I heard a the other day that he kept his friend from this girl who would have been a terrible match. I think it was his buddy Blingley? Bringley? Something like that.

  Lizzy

  Bingley. Tell me more...?

  Fitzwilliam

  Well, I shouldn't say anything bc it would b bad if the girl's found out!

  Lizzy

  My are sealed....

  Fitzwilliam

  Apparently Bingley was going to into this crazy . Think -in-law! Haha! And Darcy wasn't even sure the girl liked his friend back.

  Lizzy

  WHAT?!

  Fitzwilliam

  u OK?

  Lizzy

  Yeah, just...WTF. I don't get y Darcy would get involved. Esp. if his friend & the girl really were in .

  Like, deeply in !

  Fitzwilliam

  ???

  Lizzy

  But, uh, who knows. Hard 2 say when u don't know all the details.

  WTF! Fitzwilliam has to be talking about Jane & Bingley. I CANNOT BELIEVE DARCY. The whole part about Jane not being in w/Bingley?? What does Darcy know?! He couldn't some1 if he tried. Jane is an . Darcy had 2 b motivated by the fact that we're not and well connected.

  Charlotte

  Hey, Lizzy, we're about to leave 4 Rosings. R u ready?

  Lizzy

  I'm . Going 2 lie down.

  Charlotte

  Okay, feel better! I'll check on you later. xo

  Darcy has checked into Hunsford Parsonage.

  Darcy

  How are you? I heard you were . Don't worry, you can stay in your room. But what I have to text cannot wait!

  Lizzy

  Okay...?

  Darcy

  Look. I've fought this for a long time. But I can't fight it anymore! I MUST tell you how ardently I you.

  I mean, I know I could do a lot better. It's against my will, against my reason, and against my character. But I who I . #FirstWorldProblems

  Lizzy

  You know this is Lizzy, right?

  Darcy

  Yes. And u have 2 marry me. Sure, your isn't as fancy as mine, but we'll work thru it.

  Lizzy

  Um, I guess I should b flattered, but . I never wanted u 2 fall in w/ me, and u obvi never wanted 2 either!! I hate hurting ur feelings, but u'll get over it.

  Darcy

  That's all u r going 2 say? You're not even going 2 tell me why??

  Lizzy

  You just said u like me against ur will, against ur better judgment & against ur character. WTF?! Even if I could past all that, I just found out from Fitz that u were the 1 who convinced Bingley to break up w/ my sister! Even if I did have feelings 4 u (which I don't!), do u rly think I would accept knowing what u did 2 Jane?

  ADMIT IT!

  Darcy

  I don't deny it. I did everything in my power 2 them up. And I'm I did!

  Lizzy

  Ugh! And even before that happened, I hated u bc of what u did to Wickham.

  Darcy

  OMG what does Wickham have 2 do w/ anything??

  Lizzy

  You destroyed his life. #TypicalDarcy

  Darcy

  THIS is what u think of me? That I'm a ? Wow. I was just being honest, Lizzy. #SorryNotSorry

  I call it how I it. Would you rather I flatter u w/ some bull compliments? Be all and ? What should I say? Congrats on having a ridiculous ! Congrats on having no connections! Congrats on being middle class!

  Lizzy

  The way u asked me 2 u doesn't even matter. It would have been a NO either way. You've been a conceited jerk since day 1. You're the last guy in the I would marry.

  Darcy

  I get it. And now I am . Sry for taking up so much of your . Peace.

  From: Fitzwilliam Darcy

  To: Lizzy Bennet

  Subject: Closure

  Don't worry. I'm not going 2 try 2 convince u 2 me. Pls just read this (even though u r ) because I need 2 clear stuff .

  Last night, u accused me of 2 things:

  1) Breaking up Bingley & Jane

  2) Ruining Wickham's life

  Here goes:

  Bingley was obvi in w/ Jane. But I thought she just wasn't into him. Though I guess u would know better than me. My bad.

  But aside from Jane's (or lack thereof), there is also the fact that your mother is . And don't get me started on Lydia, Kitty, and Mary. Even ur father...Look, I'm not trying to hurt ur feelings. I'm just telling it like it is.

  The only th
ing I feel bad about is that Bingley's sisters & I made sure he never found out Jane was in town....

  Now, Wickham. My dad thought Wickham was going 2 become a priest , but Wickham wanted 2 study law. When my dad died, Wickham and I agreed on a yearly allowance--a generous one. But instead of going 2 law school , he wasted it all. He even had the nerve to come back & ask 4 more ! #Dirtbag AND THAT'S WHEN HE WENT AFTER MY SISTER. She was living in London w/ a chaperone. The chaperone knew Wickham & together they cooked up a plan 2 get our family's . Wickham pretended 2 b in w/ Georgiana and convinced her to ELOPE. SMH. She told me just in . I confronted Wickham, and he .

  I would have told u last night, but I didn't know where 2 start. I hope u understand. Everything I did was for the ppl I . Bingley, my sister, etc. If u don't believe me, u can ask my cousin Fitz.

  Best,

  Darcy

  My head is . Darcy doubted Jane Bingley? Not a chance. And the stuff about my sucks even tho it's mostly true. But Wickham?! WTF! I mean, he did go after Miss King the second she got rich. Maybe I've been wrong about him this whole time. Maybe I've been wrong about everybody. Oh, Darcy. What have I done? Sigh

  Darcy and Fitzwilliam have checked out of Rosings.

  Group text: Lizzy, Mr. Collins, Charlotte

  Lizzy

  Time for me to head out. Thanks for having me!

  Collins

  Want me 2 give u Lady Catherine de Bourgh's contact info? So u can send her a thank u card 4 talking 2 u even though she's better than u?

  Lizzy

  Um, you can just say TY 4 me. Bye-bye!

  Charlotte

  Safe travels, Lizzy. xo

  Lizzy

  Jane, I'm OTW now. Darcy proposed 2 me.

  Jane

  SERIOUSLY? Hurry to London! We have to talk asap!!

  Lizzy has checked into London.

  Jane likes this.

  Wickham Wickham has changed his relationship status to single.

  Lydia likes this.

  REPLY

  Lydia so ! all my r going 2 brighton. guess i'll go meet up w/ my much older sisters & bring them home!

  Mrs. Bennet likes this.

  REPLY

  Mary Bennet

  REPLY

  Lizzy

  Did u see the I fwded u from Darcy?

  Jane

  Can't believe it!

  Lizzy

  Are you disappointed in me 4 saying no to him?

  Jane

  Of course not!

  Lizzy

  What about all the stuff re: Wickham? It's crazy bc he seems like an and Darcy seems like a , but it's actually the reverse!

  Do u think we should tell every1?

  Jane

  No.

  Maybe Wickham's trying to be better?

  Lizzy

  Oh, Jane, that's cute. Let's hope so!

  To: Lydia Bennet

  From: Mrs. Forster

  You're invited!

  What: To stay with us in Brighton

  When: This summer

  Who: Me & my new hubby, Col. Forster...and every hot everrr.

  Lizzy

  Dad, I REALLY don't think u should let Lydia go 2 Brighton. She ruins our 's rep. If u don't put her in now, she'll be that way her whole life: a vapid, uncontrollable . Same with Kitty.

  Mr. Bennet

  Don't worry. No one will judge you based on your ridiculous . Colonel Forster will keep her out of trouble. We don't have enough for someone to rip her off. The s will pass her over, and it will be a teachable moment.

  Lizzy

  I have a bad feeling about this.

  Mr. Bennet

  What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

  Wickham has checked into Longbourn.

  Wickham

  Hey, Lizzy! What's up?

  Lizzy

  Just got back from Rosings. Spent 3 weeks with Darcy and his cousin Fitz. The convo was very revealing.

  Wickham

  Ah, Fitz is v. different than his jerky cousin, amiright?

  Lizzy

  I've changed my mind re: Darcy.

  I've changed my mind re: some other ppl 2.

  Wickham

  Is that so? Um, g2g.

  Lydia Bennet Lydia and Kitty have posted 120 photos to the album: Selfies w/ Soldiers.

  Mrs. Bennet likes this.

  REPLY

  Mr. Bennet: You two are the silliest girls in !

  Lizzy Lizzy has posted an album: Touring the Lakes w/ Uncle and Aunt Gardiner.

  REPLY

  Mrs. Gardiner

  So glad you could come with us on vacation!

  Lizzy

  Thanks! Happy to be tagging along.

  Mrs. Gardiner

  Why don't we stop by Pemberley, your friend Darcy's place?

  Lizzy

  I'd rather not.

  Mrs. Gardiner

  Nonsense. It will just be a quick trip! I insist.

  I thought I was going 2 have 2 tell Aunt Gardiner what happened w/ Darcy. But I just viewed his check-ins & it like he's out of town. #FingersCrossed

  - Volume 3 -

  Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Gardiner, and Lizzy have checked into Pemberley.

  Mrs. Reynolds likes this.

  Mrs. Reynolds: Welcome! Giving tours of the estate is my favorite thing about being the keeper.

  Lizzy: Wow. I've never anywhere more beautiful in the whole . Whoever Darcy will be a very woman!

  Darcy has checked into Pemberley.

  Mrs. Gardiner: Lizzy--look! Your friend Darcy is here, too.

  Darcy: Lizzy, ur here??

  Lizzy: Hiii

  Darcy: What r u doing here?

  Lizzy: Just passing thru. My aunt & uncle wanted 2 stop by.

  Darcy: When did u leave Longbourn?

  Lizzy: Recently.

  Darcy: Gotcha. Well, I have 2 . But I'll brb!

  FML! Why did I agree 2 come here?! He's going 2 think I'm throwing myself @ him. It was so incredibly awkward. I don't even know what I said 2 him. #WordVomit Then he just peaced out. Hopefully I won't c him again. Omg I just accidentally made contact w/ him through the upstairs window. OMG OMG! He just picked up his phone.

  Darcy

  Peeping is a crime, u know.

  Lizzy

  FYI I didn't think u were going 2 b here. Mrs. Reynolds said u weren't coming back till tomorrow.

  Darcy

  Had 2 come back early. Bingley & his sisters r coming tomorrow. My sister will be coming 2. She wants to meet u & I want u to meet her.

  Lizzy

  Cool, yeah.

  Darcy

  Do you want to come inside for a drink?

  Lizzy

  I think we r heading out now. But I'll see u tomorrow.

  Darcy

  Sounds good!

  Bingley

  Hi, Lizzy. Heard u r coming over today! Yay!

  Lizzy

  Hi! I am!

  Bingley

  It's been forever--8 months! I haven't u since the Netherfield ball on November 26!

  Lizzy

  Wow, u r right. And so specific.

  Darcy Darcy has created an event:

  Dinner at Pemberley.

  Lizzy is going.

  Mr. Bingley likes this.

  REPLY

  Mr. Bingley: Lizzy, so much catching 2 do! Can't wait to hear about your sister!

  Mr. Bingley: I mean sisters.

  Mr. Gardiner

  Notice anything funny?

  Mrs. Gardiner

  Darcy?

  Mrs. Gardiner

  Yes. He's obvi in w/ Lizzy.

  Mr. Gardiner

  %

  Darcy, Darcy, Darcy. WTF? IDK why he's being so nice 2 me. After everything that's happened, I'd expect him 2 b a jerk. But instead he's being awesome. Nothing makes sense!

  Lizzy Lizzy and Georgiana Darcy are now friends.

 

‹ Prev