“I get it, Thomas, you don’t need to tell me thanks. And for what it’s worth bud, I’m really sorry,” Gary said looking everywhere but into his friends eyes.
“Thanks,” was the only thing Thomas could say.
“Um Tom we should get her out of here now, okay?” Gary said to his friend.
Thomas only nodded in reply and stepped a few yards away from Sarah’s body. Gary waved the EMS crew back over and told them to go ahead and take her away. A few minutes later Gary turned and looked over at Thomas who was standing deathly still and silent nearby.
“At least he put his coat on again,” Gary thought to himself.
Thomas did not move except to breathe and Gary could see his friends’ eyes follow and watch everything, every move the EMS crew made with her body. After she was put into the back of the ambulance, Gary walked over to his friend, and put his hand on the man’s large shoulder.
“Hey man, it’s late. Why don’t you take off, there’s only cleanup now,” Gary said.
Thomas turned, looked Gary in the eye and said, “I’m going to stay here for a while if that’s okay. I’m not ready to leave just yet.”
Gary nodded a silent yes in reply and in his gravelly voice said, “Okay, Thomas, that’s fine. I’ll stop by the house tomorrow in the afternoon and we can talk about stuff. Sound all right with you? I mean, if you’re going to be there at least.”
“Yeah…that’s fine, I’ll be there,” Thomas answered quietly; distracted and lost in thought, staring off at nothing.
“Okay then, I’ll leave you alone now, buddy,” Gary said as he turned and walked away to assist with the rest of the cleanup.
The tow trucks and cleanup crew were already at work, clearing the road of the devastating carnage from the wreck. After hours had passed, at nearly 3 am, everything was cleaned up. The road was open again and vehicles occasionally went by going to or from somewhere, the drivers having no idea what had happened just a few hours prior on that very spot. The police and onlookers had long since left. Gary was the last officer to leave about 40 minutes ago, making sure Thomas was left alone and that he was going to be okay.
Now Thomas James sat alone on the lonely dark road. The rain had stopped for the most part, the heavy fall wind still blowing hard. As he sat staring across the road to the spot where Sarah’s body had been, a single, lonely, final tear ran down his beard-covered cheek. He had sat there for the last hour or so, a thousand thoughts going through his mind, a hundred feelings pouring from his heart and soul.
Quietly he said, “What am I going to do without you Sarah?”
After a few minutes, he stood up and walked slowly and silently towards his pickup truck. He blended with the shadows, feeling like a wraith as he walked, emitting sadness and darkness with every step forward. It was time to go home what was left of it. Knowing now it was just a place; Sarah had made it a home.
Back at Thomas’ rented beachside cottage, there was more to deal with than the dinner that would not be eaten and the reminders of Sarah scattered all over the home. A small boy was there, asleep and being watched over by Thomas’ best friend Derrick. The boy was only five years old and unknowingly had just lost his mother in a car accident. As Thomas drove north back up the coast, through the silent and sleeping towns of Tillamook and Garibaldi, he wondered what to say to Daniel. How would he tell the little boy that his mother was dead? Thomas wondered what would happen next.
xi
Running Northwest
One
Lying in bed before sunrise was one of Thomas James’s favorite things to do. It was late spring so the nights were warm enough to leave the windows open and with that meant waking up to the smell of the salt air drifting in from the early morning breeze, the sounds of the waves slapping and sometimes crashing against the rocks and the sandy beach. The gulls screamed at each other as they flew around in circles looking for some sea-life to eat. Somewhere off shore may be a breaching whale or two as they pass the coast heading north on their way home. A pod of dolphins or group of seals looking for some fish to eat could often be seen. All of it seemed to be slightly hidden by the mist that seemed to be present every morning and sometimes most of the day. This was the Pacific Northwest after all; it’s the way of things here.
As Thomas lay in his king sized bed covered with a sheet and the head of very large Bull Mastiff named Layla draped across his stomach, he remembered how much he missed this place when he was back in Michigan. Oregon, specifically the Oregon Coast, always felt more like home to him. He always wanted to come back here and open a small coffee shop, and eventually he did just that. However, the life he had always imagined he would have had out here is not the one he got. Not that he could complain or would for that matter he loved his life now, he loved every part of it or at least the parts he had.
Thomas rolled over to grab his cell phone and see what time it was. The phone was lying next to two framed pictures that he never took down. One was of him and his son Daniel and the other was one of someone else, someone from a past he had to leave behind him. It had been almost four years and yet sometimes as he lay in bed, slowly waking to watch the sunrise, he still forgot that she would never be lying next to him again. He did not have his glasses or contacts on so he had to squint to see, a disadvantage of getting older. It was 6:15 am.
“Mondays,” he growled as he reached to pet the head of the large, heavy dog and then reached for his glasses with the other hand.
“Well girl, we gotta get the other two up in about a half hour or so. Want to go for a quick walk before we get them up and going and make breakfast? We have school today you know.”
His dog Layla jumped down off the bed and wagged her large tail excitedly. For some reason that Thomas himself could never quite understand he talked to the dogs he had as if they were people.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughed as he put on his shorts and a hooded sweatshirt and put his running shoes on his feet.
Thomas and Layla walked out the slider door in his bedroom and stood on the deck for a minute. He took a deep breath trying to wake himself up a little bit more, inhaling the salty morning air.
“Its gunna rain today,” he said aloud.
He had gotten good at smelling the rain coming in the air since he had been back in Oregon. As Thomas stood there on the deck, Layla took off running as fast as she could but not at anything in particular. Everything had to be smelled as quickly as she possible could. Thomas was not worried about the dog, no one lived all that close him and there usually were not a lot of people on the beach this far north of town. The tourists did not come up this far often, let alone at this time of day. However occasionally a few people would wander past his home, usually waiving politely as they walked along. He stepped down onto the sand and walked the 70 yards or so towards the shoreline, watching the huge dog run around smelling all the new things the Pacific had washed up during the night. Because of the currents, occasionally he would find things from Japan on shore after they spent who knows how long at sea. Watching the waves come in with the morning fog with the slightest hint of daylight in the sky was one of his favorite ways to start the day. He walked up bent down, rubbed the dogs’ messy sand-covered face, and smiled.
“Now don’t tell Harley I brought you out here without him, he will be jealous as hell!” he said laughing. The dog licking his cheek in reply.
After about 30 more minutes of walking, Thomas and Layla headed back to their small cottage looking at it as he approached. When Thomas first moved here, he was just renting the place from a local retired couple. Eventually the owners offered to let him buy it cheap considering the location and land value. However, after everything with Daniel’s mother happened and the article in the paper, strangers and friends alike stepped up and offered help of many types; some Thomas accepted and some he gratefully declined. Nevertheless, that is how the locals were out here in these small coastal towns, everyone cared, and people were willing to help each other. He was
not the type to ask for help and had issues even accepting the help that was offered, but it was an adjustment he learned to make.
By the time, Thomas and Layla walked into the cottage, it was a few minutes before 7 am. As they both walked down the hallway, he could hear scratching noises coming behind one of the bedroom doors. He looked down at his large mastiff Layla, who was waiting impatiently at his side for the door to be opened. Her head was cocked slightly to the left. She looked at him, then the door and back to him again.
“You ready?” he said smiling as he slowly turned the doorknob.
As he opened the door, a yellow flash streaked out and passed him, emitting a quick bark. At virtually the same time, Layla forced the door open all of the way and launched herself onto the bed. Then she began licking its small, defenseless occupant.
“Layla, that’s gross,” said a child’s squeaky voice from underneath the blankets. “But good morning to you too girl,” he said laughing.
“Hey Dad, g’morning,” the young boy said smiling as he sat up and wiped his eyes.
“Morning to you too Kiddo. How did you sleep?” Tom asked.
“All right I guess, I had some weird dreams but I’m fine I guess. I am starving Dad. What’s for breakfast?” Daniel, Thomas’ son asked.
“Well I haven’t decided yet, so get up and get dressed. We will decide together. I am sorry but you have school today, ya know. Sadly, our weekend is over,” he said smiling.
Throwing his body back on the bed, he said growling, “Yeah, yeah, I know dang it. Do I gotta go Dad?” he asked.
All he got for a reply was a stern look and a raised right eyebrow from Thomas.
“Fine, fine, you win again!” the boy fussed.
“Well kid, get dressed and I’ll go get your breakfast started. Its gunna rain today,” he said as he rubbed the top of Daniel’s head and started walking out of the room.
“Dad…seriously…I know it’s going to rain. It rains a lot; we live on the Coast. Sometimes it rains every day. My teacher says it rains over half the year here,” he said sarcastically then adding, “at least we don’t live in Seattle”
“Don’t get smart with me, I haven’t had coffee yet; and it’s not always raining, sometimes it’s a mist or fog. There’s a difference…what do they tell you in school anyway?” Tom asked as he walked down the hallway to the kitchen, turning on the small counter top television when he got there to catch the morning news and starting a pot of coffee.
It had not always been like this. For the first year, that he lived in the cottage with his best friend Derrick Pazinkski. Derrick was a little more than two years younger than Thomas was. There were never kids running about, breakfast rarely was made this early and often not at all. They both were consummate bachelors. Nevertheless, sometimes things change no matter how hard you try.
About a year or so, after he moved back to Oregon from the Midwest he started dating a woman named Sarah Bellows. She was a single mom who was at that point 28. Sarah was tall about 5’10”, but still shorter than Thomas’ 6’4”. She was beautiful and vivacious, completely random and exciting. Sarah breathed a bit of fresh life into Thomas, who had left Michigan with a broken heart and what seemed a broken soul because of another woman. Those were good times back then.
Thomas, who always swore he would never date a woman with a child, took a chance. Especially since Sarah was very persistent and convincing. The two became good friends at first before they actually started dating. Thomas loved the fact the she pursued him instead of the opposite. He was very cautious and careful when Sarah finally introduced her son Daniel to him. It took some time for both of them to be comfortable with it, because all three of them had been hurt and let down before. Daniel was about 3½ or so when Thomas first met the boy who would become his son. That was a long time ago. A lifetime ago Thomas sometimes thought.
About 10 minutes later the father and son sat at their kitchen table eating breakfast. This consisted of two different types of cereal mixed together and orange juice for Daniel and just coffee for Thomas. Thomas rarely ever ate breakfast during the week. He usually ate at the coffee shop. Breakfasts were usually quiet affairs, neither one awake enough to have decent morning conversation. Thomas was never really a morning person, and it seemed Daniel was not either. That personality trait made Thomas laugh sometimes because, Sarah, Daniel’s mother was never much of a morning person either.
“Hey Dad?” Daniel said nervously.
Thomas sat back in his chair and squinted his eyes, a worried look on his face. He recognized the tone his son had used.
“Yeah?” he replied cautiously as he sipped his overly strong coffee.
“When I get home from school, do you think that maybe we could call Grandma in Florida?” the boy asked gingerly.
Thomas raised his eyebrows in concern…his mother damn it he thought to himself.
“We can do that if you want. Is everything okay?” he asked smoothly.
“Oh yeah, everything is fine I guess. I just miss her. It’s been a while since I talked to her and she sent me a postcard in the mail. I got it on Saturday, so I just wanted to call her and tell her thanks that’s all,” Daniel replied.
To that Thomas got a curious little smirk on his face and said, “Well…that’s very thoughtful of you Daniel, I’m sure Grandma would appreciate that very much. Can I see the postcard buddy? I’m kind of jealous. She never sends me postcards anymore, she must like you better.”
The last remark made the boy smile. Daniel reached into his backpack that was sitting next to him on the floor, pulled the card out of a book, and handed it over to his father who started reading it.
“Make sure I get it back though, Dad. I’m bringing it to school for Show and Tell because it’s from Florida and that is really, really far away. It’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah it is! I’ll give it right back, I promise little man,” Thomas said laughing.
He read the card with an alligator on the front with curiosity looking for some sort of shitty undertone he knew was most likely there, knowing that Daniel would not notice. As he read it, he made a barely audible grunting noise. He then handed the card back to his son, who quickly put it back in his backpack as if he was hoarding treasure, which made Thomas laugh a little.
He did not know his mother had sent Daniel a post card from Florida. Not that he minded much, but he would find out why she did though. Thomas and his mother did not always see eye to eye all the time. Since Thomas adopted Daniel, he noticed a bit of coldness coming from his mother towards the two of them, or maybe it was indifference. She did not think Thomas adopting Daniel two years ago was the “responsible or smart” thing to do for either of them and that Thomas was not ready to be a father. At least that is what she said. Thomas knew there was more to the argument than that.
The word “selfish” came up a lot and they had many arguments about it over the phone. In addition, two arguments in person; one when he and Daniel visited her in Florida and another when she came to Oregon once to see them. He was very careful to conceal those arguments from his son. He more or less proved her wrong so far. And she was never a Mother of the Year candidate a lot of the time when he was growing up. He had bad memories of her drinking too much when he was a child Therefore; he just tried to ignore her with certain things.
However, it worried him because ever since Daniel officially became his son, the boy would try and reach out to his new grandparents, his grandmother Grace especially. He often wrote her letters about different things, sending post cards, and calling her on the phone when Thomas would let him. Sadly, more often than not, they were never responded too and the phone calls seemed rushed. The exact opposite was true with Thomas’ dad Ed, who adored the boy and was nervously supportive from the start. Daniel may have only been seven but was not dumb and had a good sense of people’s emotions and how to read them. His mother Sarah was the same way. Moreover, Thomas was worried that Daniel had noticed his grandmother’s ambivalence towar
ds him and would be hurt in the end.
Thomas looked at the clock on the wall it was 7:20 am.
“All right Kiddo, we better get going, I don’t want you being late for school. Go and get your shoes on okay?” Thomas asked.
Lifting his leg in the air, Daniel responded, “They are Dad, Jeez, pay attention,” he said giggling.
Thomas smiled, “Well aren’t you just little Mr. Prepared,” he said, adding, “Grab your coat and let’s go.”
A few moments later the two of them were standing next to the truck. Daniel stopped as his dad opened the door.
“What are you forgetting?” Thomas asked.
A second later Daniel screamed, “Layla, Harley!” as he opened the back door himself.
In a flash the two large dogs came barreling around the house, kicking up sand, barking and jumping up into the back seat of the truck; Daniel followed and got into the passenger seat with a smile on his face.
“Dogs, Dad,” Daniel said.
Laughing Thomas said, “I don’t think they’re gunna fit in your backpack, Kiddo.”
“Duh Dad, its Monday. They always come on Monday,” Daniel said smirking
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” Thomas answered, smiling as he got into the driver’s seat and put his laptop bag on the floor at Daniel’s feet.
He drove down the dirt two-track that was their driveway leading to the main road. On the way to school during the week Thomas let Daniel control the radio. He listened to literally whatever the boy decided he wanted to listen to. Thomas felt it was important that his son learn to appreciate a wide variety of music within reason and today was no different. Apparently, Daniel found the Classic Rock station intriguing this morning. As they drove down the Pacific Coast Highway with Aerosmith and Lynyard Skynyrd blaring and the windows down, Thomas could not complain. In the back seat, Layla and Harley did what dogs do best in vehicles and drove the whole 20-minute drive south into the town of Tillamook with their heads out the window, drool hitting any cars that had the nerve to get to close behind the large truck.
Running Northwest Page 2