by Mandy Baggot
“You got in trouble?” Robyn guessed.
“I drank myself into a stupor every single day. I beat up my best friend, I dropped out of school, I told my mom I hated her, and I almost killed somebody when I drove through a stop sign. I spent thirty days in jail.”
He looked over to Robyn, waiting for her reaction, wondering what the admission was going to do to her. It had to do something. She thought he was strong, she thought he was this ambitious, dedicated person who was going to cure the world of its ills, but the truth was, he was as weak as the next person. Weaker probably. She looked like she was thinking so hard, he could almost see the wheels in motion. He needed to be honest with her and he needed to be honest with himself. She had to know who he really was and who he was wasn’t all good.
“I once took a monkey wrench to a customer when he pinched my ass,” Robyn stated, her voice wobbling slightly.
“Robyn, I was a mess! I was this disgusting individual who didn’t care about anybody or anything. I was filled up with rage against the whole damn world as if it was everyone else’s fault that my dad had died. I hated everyone and I hated myself. I was on some road to self-destruction and that’s what happened next,” Cole carried on.
“What?” Robyn asked, squeezing his hands.
“Bryn found me unconscious. I’d taken God knows how many pills and drank three bottles of vodka. He got me to the emergency room. If he hadn’t found me…”
“What happened then?” Robyn asked with a swallow.
“I came to in hospital, feeling rougher than you can imagine. By the side of my bed was my dad’s ice hockey shirt. Mom had brought it in and she’d put it by my pillow. It still smelt of him, you know, and that smell, it just filled me up. I didn’t want to die. Dad had given me all these fantastic times, and I realized those memories should have been shaping my future. I wanted to make him proud and I needed to be a better person,” Cole explained.
Robyn threw her arms around him and held him close, pulling him tight to her.
“I left Chicago because I could feel those destructive feelings coming back after what Bryn and Veronica did. It didn’t have anything to do with Dad, it had to do with me. I’m not good enough, Robyn, but I really want to be,” Cole told her fiercely.
“What d’you mean, you’re not good enough?” she asked.
“People leave me because I’m nothing. I thought the work I do would make a difference, but I can’t find the answers. What if I never find them? What then? Who am I without that? Where’s my focus?”
“Now you listen to me. I don’t know anything about your work but I know about you. You, Cole Ryan, are far from nothing. For a start, you’re my fiancé! And that makes you pretty damn special in my world.”
“I don’t want to let you down.”
“The only way you’re going to let me down is if you don’t kiss me right now,” Robyn ordered him.
Cole looked at her, his big eyes full of tears and regret.
“Why aren’t you doing it?” Robyn asked him.
Cole tenderly took her face in his hands and brought her lips to his, parting them slowly and delivering a warm, soft touch to her mouth.
“You must never do anything like that ever again. If you’ve got a problem, you tell me about it. Do you hear me?” she asked.
“Loud and clear.”
“I’m hiding all the Advil and the alcohol unless you promise me,” she said, pulling back so she could look into his eyes.
“I promise you.”
“Swear it. Swear it on your Chicago Wolves limited edition hooded sweater,” Robyn said, squeezing his hands.
“I swear it on my limited edition Chicago Wolves hooded sweater and the matching track pants,” Cole answered, his tone serious.
Robyn gazed at him, studying his expression, before finally nodding. She laid a kiss on his injured knuckles and let go of his hand.
“I want you to meet my mom,” he stated.
“Oh.”
“I want you to. It’s important to me.”
“Yeah, but she might test me on vacuuming techniques and I don’t even know where it’s kept,” Robyn replied, wiping at her eyes.
“Knowing that I’m moving on—even though I’m not ready to bury the hatchet with Bryn and Veronica—it might make her worry less about things. She worries a lot about things since Dad died,” Cole said.
“Will I have to wear a dress and fancy shoes and bake brownies?” Robyn asked him.
“Of course.”
“Are we going to tell her we’re getting married?”
“Are you okay with that?”
“I’m not sure. I mean, it isn’t like we’ve set a date or anything.”
“Do you want to set a date?”
“Do you?”
“I asked first.”
“October twenty-second, I’ve always liked the number twenty-two,” Robyn replied.
“That’s in two weeks.”
“Then you have a lot of planning to do. I want a cake, three tiers, all chocolate. And I want to get married here, by the lake, on the sand, and I want to arrive in Bob’s boat. I want Special Guest to perform at the reception and I want that slow Eric Clapton song playing in the background when we sign the license. And I want everyone barefoot. And we don’t tell anyone until the day before,” Robyn reeled out.
“I’m happy with all that,” Cole told her.
“Well, obviously you need to think about what you want too. I mean, Special Guest are quite versatile; we don’t have to have Eric Clapton. Just as long as you don’t get them playing Bruce Springsteen, never been a fan,” Robyn said.
“How about REO Speedwagon?”
“Are you serious?”
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Nancy! What are these?” Robyn asked, holding up a very ancient looking plastic packet that had started to turn brown. It was Monday.
“Dunno, honey, rubbers?” Nancy responded with a hearty cackle, nudging Milo and getting him to look.
“Should have known I wouldn’t get a proper answer. They resemble balloons, but they look about twenty years old,” Robyn remarked, stretching one out and trying to blow into it with little success.
“I found them out back, thought we could use them to decorate for opening night,” Nancy said.
“You are kidding me. They’re going to go down in five seconds flat. I’ve ordered helium ones, two hundred of them, with the roadhouse motif on them. We can decorate the restaurant and give some away to the kids,” Robyn told her.
“Waste of money if you ask me,” Nancy muttered.
“Now you’re even sounding like my dad. Milo, has Chef tracked down that cheese yet?” Robyn asked, looking at her checklist.
“He was on the internet earlier looking at delivery prices to have it shipped from France,” Milo informed her.
“Right, let me put a stop to that. He’ll have to make do with Portage’s finest. I’m not having my budget blown on imported cheese,” Robyn told them.
“Just balloons,” Nancy remarked to Milo.
“I heard that,” Robyn called back.
“Morning,” Brad greeted as he entered the roadhouse dressed in full police uniform.
“Hey, mister, where did you get to yesterday? You totally missed Cole’s ex turning up and Henrik almost drowning in the lake,” Robyn said, smiling at him.
“Er, well, Sarah was a little upset. I walked her home,” Brad responded.
Robyn scrutinized him. His cheek was twitching and he was shuffling awkwardly from one foot to the other.
“I stayed with her, you know, for a bit, and then I headed home,” he continued stiffly.
Robyn carried on looking at him, her hands on her hips, unconvinced by what he was saying.
“Her and Mickey aren’t too good at the moment,” Brad stated.
“I gathered. So…” Robyn started.
The door of the roadhouse swung open and Sarah entered. As soon as she saw Brad, she became completely flustered and
tried to hide her face behind her hair.
“I’d better be going,” Brad said, nervously straightening his hat.
“Well, hang on, what did you want? You must have come here for a reason,” Robyn said, following him as he rushed out the door.
“I was just…going to ask…if you were free for dinner tonight,” Brad said, avoiding Sarah’s gaze as she raised her head out of her hair.
“Tonight? Er, no, not tonight. I’m doing something tonight. How about tomorrow night?” Robyn suggested hurriedly.
“We’ve got training,” Brad reminded her.
“Oh, yeah, of course we have. Well, how about after? We could get Chinese or something.”
“That sounds good,” Brad agreed with a smile.
“Great, well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Robyn told him.
“See you,” Brad said, waving his hand and heading to his squad car.
Robyn turned back to Sarah and grabbed her by the arm. She led her back into the roadhouse and pushed her down into one of the booths.
“Ow! You’re hurting me! What are you doing?” Sarah exclaimed, bumping down onto the seat.
“What’s going on with you and Brad? What happened last night?” Robyn demanded to know as Nancy and Milo looked on intrigued.
“Nothing happened last night. Nothing’s going on,” Sarah said, playing with a tendril of her hair.
“Don’t lie to me! It’s written all over your face and it’s written all over Brad’s face. Tell me!” Robyn ordered.
“We kissed. Kind of,” Sarah blurted out.
“Nancy! I need a Jack and Coke!” Robyn bellowed, putting her hand to her chest.
“You want ice?” Nancy called back.
“Just bring it!”
“Look, it was something of nothing. He walked me home, I made him coffee. I bawled my eyes out and he was nice to me. He listened to me, he said he understood, and then we kind of looked at each other and the next thing…” Sarah attempted to explain.
“Jack and Coke. You want one, too, sugar? Something for the guilt?” Nancy offered, handing Robyn her glass.
“Listen, what goes on in Eddie’s Roadhouse, stays in Eddie’s Roadhouse. That was always Dad’s rule and I’m not changing it now. You keep it zipped,” Robyn told Nancy seriously.
“If you want my opinion, I wouldn’t let the grass grow where the officer’s concerned. Nice guy and biceps like grapefruits,” Nancy spoke, chewing gum loudly.
“Thank you, Nancy, that will be all,” Robyn said, dismissing her.
“I don’t know what to do,” Sarah admitted, her eyes filling with tears.
“What d’you mean? What happened after you kissed? I mean, who pulled away first? Did you? Did he? What did he say? What did you say? Did he go? Did you make a joke of it and share another coffee?” Robyn questioned frantically.
“He pulled away first.”
“No! Sarah! What would you have done if he hadn’t pulled away? Would you have gone further? Grappled with the biceps like grapefruits? Grappled with something else?” Robyn wanted to know, looking at her friend like she was insane.
“I don’t know. He stood up and said he was sorry. He said he was taking advantage of the situation and it was a mistake. In fact, he apologized over and over until we got to the door.”
“What happened at the door? Do I want to know?”
“He told me he’s in love with you. Always has been, always will be,” Sarah informed her.
Robyn gripped her glass harder.
“You knew that, though, didn’t you? I mean, he lights up when you’re around, becomes the Brad he used to be before Michelle left him for Randy. I knew that too, really, but I guess I was hoping…” Sarah began, still toying with her hair.
“Hoping? You were hoping something would happen with Brad? What about Mickey! You’ve devoted your life to Mickey,” Robyn reminded her.
“I don’t know what I was hoping for, really, just for a bit of attention, I guess. The knowledge that someone still finds me attractive. Even if it’s a second best to you attractive. It’s better than a not even on the same scale as a Dodge attractive.”
“I wish you’d told me this before I accepted dinner with him tomorrow night. I thought we could be friends, I thought I’d made it clear I didn’t want any more than that,” Robyn said.
“He thinks you’ll learn to love him, like you used to,” Sarah commented.
“I never loved him! We dated in high school; we snogged at the drive-in a couple of times, that’s all,” Robyn announced seriously.
“Snogged?”
“Made out.”
“It was more than that for him.”
“Well, I need to spell it out to him tomorrow night. Now what are you going to do?” Robyn wanted to know.
“I’m going to tell Mickey it’s over,” Sarah said in a determined tone.
He’d tried to call his mom twice that morning. He couldn’t do it. What Veronica had said about her wanting the family together for Thanksgiving had hit him hard. Why didn’t he have it inside him to forgive Bryn? What he’d done was low, but did it matter now? He’d had his revenge when he’d put him in hospital and trashed his apartment. What was he hanging on to? He had Robyn, and now she knew everything about him and still wanted him. They’d been so close last night. She’d held him, she’d kissed him, and, for a moment, she had looked at him like she wanted there to be more. But he’d hesitated and she’d made a wisecrack about something from the Portage Panthers’ Hall of Fame. She still wasn’t ready.
Chapter Thirty
She was nervous and she didn’t know what to wear. It wasn’t that she thought she needed to put on an act for Cole, it was just she hadn’t been on a date since high school and she wanted this one to go right. Should she stick to jeans and a t-shirt or should she wear something else? Did she actually bring anything else? Actually, she was pretty sure she’d packed a navy blue wool sweater that came to mid-thigh. It was still her, but it was a little different. Yesterday’s good weather hadn’t lasted and it was back to feeling like autumn again. She’d need her boots too. She searched for the items in the case she had yet to unpack. This felt so odd. She was going on a date with the man she’d said she’d marry.
He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and tweaked at his hair. This date was so important. He wanted it to be perfect. He wanted to give Robyn a night she deserved. He’d wanted to get her something, but flowers or chocolates weren’t going to cut it. She’d probably want to see what the flowers tasted like and make a display of the chocolates. She wasn’t like any girl he’d met before, but he knew she was the right girl.
He slipped his hand into the pocket of his jeans and felt the box inside.
“I’ve got a confession to make,” Cole said as he pulled Leonora into the parking lot of the Old Country Buffet later that evening.
“You’ve hired Angela Lansbury to play your mother—that’s who’s coming tomorrow. And your real mother really has been as stiff as a board in her cellar since well before we met,” Robyn replied.
“You got me,” he said with a grin.
“I like Angela Lansbury.”
“I couldn’t get tickets for the monster trucks,” Cole admitted.
“You’re kidding me! What sort of date is this? Please tell me you haven’t booked a couple’s manicure or tickets to see Legally Blonde or anything with Meg Ryan,” Robyn said.
“No, we’re going to this great country bar to shoot pool and turkeys,” Cole informed her.
“What?!”
“Remember when you went out for coffee at the hospital? Your dad told me you’re some sort of ace with a twelve gauge. At first that knowledge scared me, but then Gerry from maintenance told me about the bar,” Cole continued.
“You’ve entered us in a turkey shoot?”
“This is going to be your best date ever,” he told her with a smile.
She smiled back at him. He couldn’t have picked anything more appropriate.
> “We might have to empty out the fridge. I am a great shot. Come on, I’m starving!” Robyn announced as she ran toward the restaurant.
Cole locked the car and hurried after her.
“Two adults please, with drinks. Oh, you are going to love this place. Look at all the food! Are there burritos on the buffet today?” Robyn asked the cashier as Cole prepared to pay.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Cole, you are going to die when you taste their chili beef,” Robyn said excitedly.
“Robyn, maybe we should go eat at the bar,” Cole suddenly suggested as he looked out over the counters of food, taking hold of her arm.
“Are you crazy? This is the best place for great food and it’s cheap. I know you have a million dollar house on the lake and a great job, but I don’t, and I ditched the sugar daddy, remember,” Robyn informed him, jogging off to find a table.
“Robyn, Grant and Jason are just over there,” Cole explained, taking her arm again and stopping her in her tracks.
Robyn looked up and saw the two men choosing fries and fried chicken from the counter just to her right. They were chatting together and laughing. They both looked as if they didn’t have a care in the world.
“Do you want to go?” Cole asked her.
“No,” Robyn said, vigorously shaking her head.
“What d’you want to do? I’d quite like to punch him again, if I’m honest.”
“No, I’m going to take charge,” Robyn said and she set off toward them, grabbing a plate from the stack.
Cole was quick to grab a plate himself and followed right behind her.
“Grant,” Robyn greeted, standing beside him.
Grant looked up and paled at the sight of her, his embarrassment clear for all to see.
“Listen, you’re here and I’m here, and I love this food and I’m not leaving. And I don’t think you should leave, either. But I want you to sit far away from that table just there, because that’s where Cole and I are going to be sitting,” Robyn said, pointing to her favorite table by the window.