by L. J. Smith
Lydia was gone. Not in the bathroom, either. Just gone.
Kaitlyn crept out of the room feeling very grim.
She tracked Gabriel by his presence in the web, feeling him move away from her, following. She wondered if Lydia was with him.
Eventually she came out by the harbor.
Kaitlyn hadn't been afraid walking down the quaint, old-fashioned streets of Victoria. There were a few people out, and an atmosphere of sleepy safety blanketed the town. But here by the harbor it was very quiet, very lonely. The lights of boats and buildings reflected in the water, but it was still dark and the wharf was deserted.
She found Gabriel pacing in the shadows.
He looked something like a wild animal, a captured predator pacing out the confines of his cage. As Kaitlyn got closer, she could sense the intensity of his hunger.
"Where's Lydia?" she said.
He swung around to stare at her. "Can't you leave me alone?"
" Are you alone?"
There was no sound but the soft swish of water for a moment. Then Gabriel said with careful precision,
"I have no idea where Lydia is. I came out by myself."
"Was she still in bed then?"
"I didn't look."
Kaitlyn sighed. All right, then, forget about Lydia, she told herself. There's nothing you can do. "Actually, I came out here to talk about you," she said to Gabriel.
Gabriel gave her a searing glance. All he said was "No."
"Gabriel—"
"It can't go on, Kaitlyn. Don't you see that? Why can't you just leave me to deal with things my way?"
"Because your way means people get hurt!"
He froze. Then he said distinctly, "So does yours."
Kaitlyn didn't understand—she wasn't sure she wanted to understand. Gabriel seemed… vulnerable…
just now. She slapped down the strange, impossible thought that sprang to mind and said, "If you mean me, I can handle myself. If you mean Rob…"
The vulnerability disappeared instantly. Gabriel straightened and gave one of his most disturbing smiles.
"Let's say I meant Rob," he said. "What's he going to do when he finds out?"
"He'll understand. I wish you'd let me tell him. He might be able to help."
Gabriel's smile just grew more unpleasant. "You think so?"
"I'm positive. Rob likes to help people. And, believe it or not, I think he likes you. If you weren't so touchy—"
Gabriel waved a hand in sharp dismissal. "I don't want to talk about him."
"Fine. Let's talk about what you're going to do tonight. Going hunting? Going to find some girl walking alone and grab her?" Kaitlyn stepped closer as she spoke. Dim as it was, she could see the immediate wariness on Gabriel's face.
That's it, she thought. All I have to do is get near enough. His control is so close to breaking…
Gabriel didn't say anything, so she went on. "Whoever she is, she won't know what you're doing. She'll fight you, and that will hurt her. And she probably won't have enough energy, so you'll probably kill her____"
Kaitlyn was very near now. She could see Gabriel's eyes, see the tortured struggle there. She could feel just the flash of his thought, quickly muffled. Danger. Quietly she said, "Is that what you want to happen?"
A muscle in his jaw jerked. "You know it isn't," he raged, equally quiet. "But there isn't any other choice—"
"Oh, Gabriel, don't be stupid," Kaitlyn said and put her arms around him.
He managed to resist for about one and a half seconds.
Then, with shaking hands, he pushed her hair off her neck. His lips were so near the place already.
Kaitlyn bent her head to make it easy for him.
A feeling of something blowing open, breaking through… and then something being released. Something like an electric current or a streak of lightning. Kaitlyn relaxed, giving willingly.
And felt her emotions rising to the surface, like blood rising to the surface of heated skin. Her caring for Gabriel, her longing to help him. She could sense his feelings, too.
It was only then that she realized, that she remembered, what the true danger in this was. Only then that she understood what Gabriel had meant by his warnings.
Because she could feel what he felt. And along with the gratitude, the sheer satisfaction and relief, were other emotions. Appreciation, joy, wonder, and—oh, dear God, love…
Gabriel loved her.
She could see herself in his mind, an image so cloaked in glamour and ethereal grace that she could scarcely recognize it. A girl with red-gold hair like a meteor trail and smoky-blue eyes with strange rings in them. An exotic creature that burned like an eager flame. More witch than human.
How could she have been so stupid?
But it had never occurred to her that Gabriel, prickly, untouchable Gabriel, could fall in love with anyone. He'd changed too much since he'd loved Iris—and killed her. He'd become too hard, too bitter.
Only he hadn't.
There was no possibility of misunderstanding.
Kaitlyn could feel his emotions clearly—she was surrounded by them, immersed in them. After two days of deprivation Gabriel's control had splintered and his barriers dissolved completely. He realized what she was seeing, but he couldn't stop her, because he was too desperate in his feeding to fight.
Kait had the sense that they were staring at each other across a narrow chasm, both frozen in place, unable to hide from the other. She was seeing into Gabriel's naked soul. And that wasn't right, that wasn't fair, because she knew what he'd be seeing in her. Friendship and concern, that was all. She couldn't love Gabriel; she was already in love…
But with Gabriel's emotions swirling around her, crashing around both of them like a storm-swelled wave, it was hard to remember that. It was hard to keep any rational thought in mind. Gabriel's love was pulling at her, dragging at her, demanding that she return it. That she give herself completely, open and give him everything…
What are you doing to her?
Kaitlyn's heart stopped.
It was Rob's voice, and it shattered her world like a bolt of lightning. In one instant the sea-swept warmth of Gabriel's passion disappeared. The connection between them was cut off, and they sprang apart…
Like guilty lovers, Kaitlyn thought.
Rob was standing just below one of the wrought-iron Victorian streetlights. He was fully dressed, but his hair was still rumpled into a lion's mane from sleep. He looked angry—and bewildered.
And despite his words, he hadn't grabbed Gabriel or tried to pull them apart. Which meant he knew. He must have sensed in the web that Kait wasn't being attacked.
There was a long moment when all three of them just stood. Like statues, Kaitlyn thought wildly. Pillars of salt. She knew that every second she delayed explaining made the thing look worse. But she still couldn't believe it was happening.
Gabriel seemed to be in shock, too. He stood as paralyzed as Kait, his gray eyes dilated.
At last Kait managed to speak through dry lips. "Rob, I was going to tell you—"
It was a terrible choice of words. Rob's face drained of color, and his golden eyes went so dark they were lightless.
"You don't need to," he said. "I saw." He swallowed and then said in an odd, husky voice, "I understand."
Then he turned quickly, almost running. Running away.
Rob, no! That's not what I meant! Rob, wait—
But Rob was almost at the concrete stairs leading to the harbor street. Hurrying to get out of range.
Kaitlyn cast one wild look after him. Then she looked at Gabriel, who was still standing motionless in the shadows. His face revealed nothing, but Kaitlyn could feel his pain.
Her heart was pounding madly. They both needed her, and she could only help one of them. There was no more than a moment to choose.
With an agonized look at Gabriel, she whirled and ran after Rob.
She caught Rob beneath another streetlight, one with hanging baskets of
flowers suspended from a crosspiece.
"Rob, please—you have to listen to me. You—"
She was almost hysterical, unable to finish her sentence. He turned, his eyes the wide hurt eyes of a child.
"It's all right," he said. With a jolt Kaitlyn realized something else. Those eyes were blind—he wasn't really seeing her. And he certainly wasn't listening.
"Rob, it's not what you think." The dreadful cliche rolled off her tongue before she could stop it. Then she said, with ferocious intensity, "It isn't. Aren't you even going to give me a chance to explain?"
That got through. Rob winced and recoiled just a bit, as if he'd rather run away again. But he said, "Of course you can explain."
She could see him bracing himself, waiting for an explanation of why she wanted to leave him.
Frustration crested in her, overriding her fear. Words came out in a breathless rush.
"Gabriel and I weren't—we weren't doing anything wrong. I was giving him energy, Rob—like you do when you're healing. The crystal did something awful to him, and now he needs life energy every day.
He's been in hell this last week. And if I don't help him, he'll hunt somebody down on the streets, and maybe kill them."
Rob blinked. He still looked like some tousled kid who'd been dealt a mortal blow, but now doubt was creeping into his expression. He repeated slowly, "The crystal?"
"I think that's what did it. He was never like this before. Now he needs the energy to stay alive. Rob, you have to believe me."
"But—why didn't you tell me?" Rob was shaking his head now, as if he had water in his ear. He looked dazed.
"I wanted to tell you, I did, but he wouldn't let me." And now I've betrayed his confidence, Kaitlyn thought. But there had been nothing else to do. She had to make Rob understand. "And no wonder he wouldn't, after the way you guys all talked about psychic vampires. He knew you'd be disgusted, and he couldn't stand that. So he kept it a secret."
Rob was wavering. Kait could see that he wanted to believe her, and that he was having trouble.
Struggling for a leap of faith.
A voice behind Kaitlyn said, "It's all true."
CHAPTER 13
Kaitlyn whirled to see the most unlikely person imaginable. Lydia. Looking fragile and wistful, her blue-black hair a liquidy mass under the streetlight's soft illumination.
"You!" Kaitlyn said. "Where have you been? Why did you leave the room?"
Lydia hesitated, then shrugged. "I saw Gabriel leave. I wondered where he was going in the middle of the night, so I followed him to the wharf. And then I saw you come—"
"You spied on us!" It must have been Lydia she'd heard going out the door, Kaitlyn realized. Gabriel had already left.
"Yes," Lydia said, half miserably, half defiantly. "I spied on you. But it's a good thing I did!" She looked at Rob. "Kaitlyn kept saying she wanted to tell you. And she was only doing it because otherwise Gabriel would hurt people, maybe kill them. I don't understand exactly what it's all about, but I know she wasn't messing around with him."
Rob's whole body had relaxed—uncrumpling, Kaitlyn thought. And her own heartbeat was easing.
Some of the nightmare feeling of unreality was fading away.
She looked at Rob and he looked at her. For a moment even communication in the web was unnecessary. Kait could see his love, and his longing.
Then, without quite knowing how she'd gotten there, she was in his arms.
"I'm sorry," Rob whispered. And then: I'm so sorry, Kait. I thought… But I could understand why you might want to be with him. You're the only one he cares about…
It's my fault, Kaitlyn thought back, clinging to him as if she could make them into one body, fuse them together permanently. I should have told you before, and I'm sorry. But—
But we won't talk about it any more, Rob said, holding her more tightly. We'll forget it ever happened.
Yes. In that moment it seemed to Kaitlyn that she could forget. "But we have to make sure Gabriel's all right," she said aloud. "I left him by the wharf…"
Slowly and reluctantly Rob let go of her. "We'll go now," he said. His face still bore the marks of recent emotion; there were shadows under his eyes and his mouth was not quite steady. But Kaitlyn could feel the quiet purpose in him. He wanted to help. "I'll explain to him that I didn't understand. All that talk about psychic vampires—I didn't know."
"I'll go, too," Lydia said. She had been watching them with open curiosity. For once, Kaitlyn didn't mind, and she gave Lydia a look of gratitude as they started walking. The girl might be nosy, she might be sneaky, and she might have a father who belonged in a horror movie—but she'd done Kaitlyn a good turn tonight. Kaitlyn wouldn't forget that.
Gabriel wasn't at the wharf.
"Hunting?" Rob said, looking at Kait with concern.
"I don't think so. He took enough from me—" Kaitlyn broke off as Rob's arm around her tightened. Rob was shaking his head.
"He can't do that anymore," he muttered. "It could hurt you. We'll have to figure something out…"He shook his head again, preoccupied.
Kaitlyn said nothing. Her happiness was dimming a bit. She was all right with Rob again—but Gabriel was in bad trouble, worse even than Rob knew. She couldn't tell Rob what she'd seen in Gabriel's mind.
But she was dead certain Gabriel wasn't going to accept help from Rob—or from her, ever again.
The next morning Gabriel was back. Kaitlyn was surprised. She and Rob had returned to the hotel the night before to find Anna and Lewis still sitting up. Rob had awakened them both when he found Kait, Gabriel, and Lydia missing.
At Rob's insistence Kait had explained as best she could about Gabriel's condition. Anna and Lewis had been shocked and sorry—and had promised to do anything they could to help.
But Gabriel didn't want help. The next morning he wouldn't talk to anyone and would barely glance at Kait. There was a strange, glittering look in his eyes, and all Kait could sense from him was determination.
He's hoping that the people in the white house can help him, she guessed. And other than that, he doesn't care about anything.
"We're in deep trouble financially," Anna was saying. "There's enough for gas and breakfast, maybe lunch, and then…"
"We'll just have to find the place today," Rob said, with typical Rob-ish optimism. But Kaitlyn knew what he left unspoken. They found the place today or they had to quit, resort to robbery, or use Lydia's credit cards and risk being traced.
"Let's go over what we're looking for," she said. What she really meant was that it was time to tell Lydia. I think we can trust her, she added, and Rob nodded. Lewis, of course, agreed wholeheartedly.
Kaitlyn was getting a little worried about him—it was clear that he was more than infatuated with Lydia, but Lydia seemed to be the type to play the field.
Gabriel was the only one who might have objected, and he was sitting by the window, ignoring them all.
"A little peninsula thing with rocks on it," Lewis said promptly with a grin at Lydia.
"With inuk shuk," Anna said. "Lining both sides. And the shore behind it is rocky, and behind that is a bank with trees. Spruce and fir, I think. And maybe some scotch broom."
"And the ocean is cold and clean and the waves only come from the right," Kaitlyn put in.
"And it's called something like Griffin's Pit," Rob finished and smiled at her. There was still something of apology, of regret, about his slow smile this morning. Kait felt a twinge in her chest.
"Or Whiff and Spit or Wyvern's Bit," she said lightly, smiling back. Then she said, turning back toward Lydia, "And across from it is a cliff—although heaven knows how that can be, unless it's another little island. And on the cliff is a white house, and that's where we're going."
Lydia nodded. She wasn't stupid; she'd taken all of this in. Her eyes said "thank you" to Kait. "So where do we search today?"
"Flip a coin again," Lewis began, but Rob said, "Let Kaitlyn decide." When Kait looked at him, he
added seriously, "Sometimes you have intuitions. And I trust… your instinct."
Kaitlyn's eyes stung. She understood; he trusted her.
"Let's go the other way today, west. The water didn't feel quite right yesterday. Not… enclosed…enough." She herself wasn't sure what she meant by that, but everyone else nodded, accepting it.
They skipped breakfast and started driving northwest.
The weather was lovely for a change, and Kaitlyn found herself pathetically grateful for sunshine. Huge puffy white clouds drifted overhead. The coastal road quickly narrowed to one lane and trees crowded around them.
"It's the rain forest," Anna said. To Kaitlyn it was an almost frightening display of plant life. The road seemed to cut through a solid swath of vegetation. It was like a puzzle shaped like a wall on either side of the road—the pieces were different colors for different plants, but they interlocked solidly to fill all the space between the ground and the sky.
"We can't even see the ocean," Lewis said. "How're we supposed to tell if we're near the place?"
He was right. Kaitlyn groaned inwardly; maybe west had been a bad idea after all. Rob just said, "We'll have to go down side roads every so often and check. And we'll ask people again."
The problem was that there were few side roads and fewer people to ask. The road simply went on and on, winding through the forest, allowing them only occasional glimpses of the coast.
Kaitlyn tried not to feel discouraged, but as they drove farther and farther, her head began to buzz and the emptiness in her middle to expand. She felt as if they'd been driving forever, through three states and a foreign country. And they were never going to find the white house—in fact, the white house probably didn't exist…
"Hey," Lewis said. "Food."
It was another of the kiosks, like the ones that had old daffodils in Oregon. But this sign said BREAD DAYS: FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY.
"It's Sunday," Lewis said. "And I'm starving."
They took two loaves of multigrain bread—and hid for them, because Rob insisted. Kaitlyn hadn't realized how hungry she was until she took the first bite. The bread was dense and moist, cool from the cold air outside. It had a nutty, nourishing flavor, and Kait felt strength and optimism flowing back through.