by Lisa N. Paul
“Umm, kind of,” she giggled, “I’m thinking it’s not the same kiss you’re gonna give me, but it did make me happy enough until I see you later.” Her voice dropped a little lower, got a little sexier, “speaking of later, Ry?”
She knew he heard the meaning behind the question in her voice by the way his breath caught. She didn’t care that Ryan was only home for a short visit. It was meant to be. She needed him, it was time. “Princess”—she shivered at his lust infused tone—“we’ll have plenty of time to discuss this later when we’re alone, sitting wrapped around each other watching the rain beat down on the ground. I can practically smell the coconuts on your skin and feel the silk of your hair twined around my fingers as I run my tongue up your neck and suck on your ear lobe. Maybe our time together will inspire a song or two.” She heard him chuckle at her small moan. “Where are you, Ash?”
“I’m sitting in the parking lot at school, honey.” Her breathing was shallow and she knew Ryan could tell she was turned on. “Want me to help you take off the edge before you head into that never ending episode of One Tree Hill?” She smiled and laughed at his television show reference. He claimed he watched the show under duress and it was just so he could spend time with her, but she knew he actually liked it. “Just sayin’ there is as much drama at school as there is on an episode of that show. So, if you need a hand,” he chuckled, “I’d be happy to help.”
“No,” she whispered, “I’ll be okay, I think. Just make sure you’re at my house when I get home from school today.” She grimaced when he chuckled at her choked voice.
“Okay, baby. But, Ash, feel free to call me at lunch if you decide to take me up on my offer.” His cocky comment snapped her out of her trance and back to reality.
“Whatever, Ryan.” She pinched herself when she realized that she sounded like a twit. Everyone knows that the person who ends an argument with “whatever” is the person who lost. However, in that moment she didn’t care, because he was home and waiting for her, and she couldn’t wait to see him. “I love you, Ryan Baker.”
“I love you too, Ashley Kynde. Talk to you later.” They disconnected and she went into the school to start the longest day ever.
EACH PERIOD TICKED by slowly, minute-by-minute. The hands on the school’s black and white, standard clocks on the walls of each classroom seemed like they never moved, other than the faint Tick tock. Tick tock. Lunch had been a frenzy of hurricane talk and “Power Parties”. She’d shaken her head with irritation as her peers discussed the excitement of getting stuck in one person’s house for a few days without power. “It’s amazing these people get into college,” she said quietly to herself as she was pulling her books from her locker at the end of the day.
“Why is that?” The voice behind her, while familiar, was certainly not welcomed.
“Oh. Hey, Scott, I didn’t realize anyone was still here. The school emptied out pretty quickly when the last bell rang.”
Looking around, she saw just how empty the halls really were. If this were a movie a tumbleweed would have rolled by her Burberry covered feet. The rain had started moving in during last period and all after-school activities had been canceled.
“So, you were saying that you were surprised that the students here got into college. Why’s that, Ashley?”
She shrugged, turning back to her locker and removing the last of her books and putting them in her bag. Her stance relaxed as she thought about her peers. “Because every time there’s a storm they plan these big ‘Power Parties’. They think it’s gonna be so cool to be stuck together when the power goes out. But you know what happens every single time? They all get sick of each other after a few hours, but they’re stuck together. Couples break-up, best friends hate each other—drama, drama, drama. You’d think that after years of these parties people would learn, but nope.”
She shrugged her shoulders and laughed as she zipped her bag. She had all of her books just in case there was no school for a few days and now she was ready to get home to Ryan. Oh, Ryan. His name floated in her head and a small sigh left her upturned mouth.
“God, Ashley, your smile is so beautiful, it lights up your whole face.”
Scott was staring at her as he spoke and she was all of sudden aware of how close he was standing. “What were you thinking about just now that had you beaming like that?”
“Honestly, I was thinking about Ryan. He’s probably at my house waiting for me and I can’t wait to see him. He’s it for me and that makes me smile. I’m sorry, Scott.”
She pressed her right palm against his left shoulder to put distance between them but he instantly clamped his hand over her wrist. His touch wasn’t rough. He wasn’t hurting her, but she didn’t want his hand on her.
When she tried to move her hand he weaved his fingers between hers. Confusion struck hard as she tried to make sense of his actions. Why was he doing this? He’d stopped trying to pursue her after she’d shot him down all those weeks ago.
“Ashley, beautiful,” he whispered closely to her ear wearing a small smile on his lips, “he doesn’t want you like I do. I would never leave you. I would never let someone get so close to you that he could touch your skin and feel your breath on his face. I would protect you. Drop Baker. Be with me.”
Ashley let her exhausted head fall back into the locker with a clink.
“Scott, listen—” but before she could utter another word she heard a litany of curses and the sound of a hand slamming into metal.
“Goddamn motherfucking son-of-a-bitch!” Ryan’s face was blazing red. The veins in his neck pulsed with each of his rapid heartbeats and his eyes were wide and glaring—like the devil himself had taken root in his body and was begging for an emergency escape route.
“I knew it. I fucking knew this shit would happen. James, I wanna fucking kill you. I wanna cut your dick off and shove it down your gaping neck! What kind of punk, bastard poaches another guy’s girl?”
Ashley was stunned silent. She literally couldn’t move or speak. In fact, she was having difficulty breathing. What the hell was going on? She looked from an outraged Ryan to a calm and composed Scott. How was Scott not shaking in fear? She knew Ryan would never lay a hand on her in anger and yet her insides were like Jell-o. Her mind quickly flashed back to just a moment before, and the way Scott had touched her face and whispered in her ear. Like a metal spike, realization struck.
“Oh my God.” Her voice was soft and brittle. “Ryan,” she implored weakly. The eyes that stared back at her appeared fueled with hatred and her stomach churned. “Ryan, you have to listen to me—”
The seething voice that came from Ryan’s mouth bore the scalding words that were thrown like darts directly through Ashley’s heart. “I don’t have to do anything. I knew this would happen. I tried, Ashley, I tried. I trusted you not to cheat on me. I trusted that you wouldn’t break my heart and I come here to surprise you and what do I find? The fucking surprise is on me! I’m the asshole because here you are all cozy with this fuckwit.”
“What did you think, little girl? Did you think you could play me for a fool? Here I am saying no to women every fucking night for you and for what? You’ve probably been banging Scotty boy since when? You know what? Never fucking mind!”
Ryan glared at Scott, “You can have her. I’m through!” The clanking sound of his fist meeting the lockers startled Ashley out of her grief-stricken trance.
“You’re right about one thing, Ryan Baker, you are an asshole.” She watched his back as he froze for a moment and then continued to walk out the door of the school leaving her standing in the hallway alone. Well, alone with Scott James.
Her sobs echoed through the hallway. Hot tears ran down her face. Pain shot through her as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly in the vain hope that it would keep her heart from falling out of her chest.
“Sweetheart, come here. I’ll take care of you.” Scott leaned in to touch her but the growl akin to that of a rabid animal tore from her throa
t as she screamed.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again, you piece of shit.” She knew she was hysterical. She knew that when she cried it was ugly crying with snot and all but she didn’t care.
“Tell me this, Scott,” she asked in a voice that she had never heard come from her mouth, “did you know he was there?”
Scott didn’t answer. While he was obviously trying to project having some sort of pity for her, the victorious gleam in his eyes was all the answer she needed. “Goddamn you, Scott.”
It was official. She had used more swear words in the last twenty-four hours than ever before. But it was also true that they felt great rolling off her tongue.
“Yes, sweetheart, I did know and aren’t you glad you saw what you saw? He isn’t good enough for you. He’s a Neanderthal with jealousy issues.” Scott’s smarmy smile made her blood boil. “Come on, Ashley, let me take you home. It’s raining pretty hard. Let me show you how a gentleman treats a lady.”
She didn’t know that she had it in her—then again she’d never ever felt that angry before—but when her fist hit Scott’s nose the only person more surprised than him by the left-hook and the resulting crunch was Ashley herself.
“Fuck, Ashley, I think you broke my nose,” he muffled with a nasally voice and tear filled eyes.
However, Ashley was too far gone in her own angst and agony to hear his complaint. “No real gentleman would ever hurt a lady on purpose. And just so we’re clear, I would’ve chosen a Neanderthal dressed in animal skin and carrying a club over an easygoing, snake in the grass, any day of the week. You wanna know why? Because that snake sheds his skin when he’s done using it. Just leaves it to rot while he moves on with his life. You’re a snake, Scott, and a piece of shit!”
She bent down and with trembling hands, hefted her backpack up onto her shoulder before walking down the hallway and out of the double doors. The fierce rain mingled with her tears and the wind absorbed her sobs as she walked to her car.
“Ryan,” she spoke to his voicemail, “please call me. It’s not what you think.” She sat in her car for a moment, replaying the scenario over and over in her head. As she drove home she told herself she hadn’t done anything wrong. Why would he assume that she would cheat on him? Why couldn’t he trust her the way she trusted him. She’d watched his concerts on YouTube—she knew women ogled him—but he’d promised nothing happened between them. Was she being naïve? Was he jealous because he was cheating on her?
Ashley wasn’t sure how she managed to get herself home. All she knew was that she made it there safely, despite the heavy winds and driving rain. The weather outside mirrored the pain that was pummeling her body.
She ran upstairs on trembling legs to Leo’s room and felt disappointment crash into her like waves hitting the shore line, when she realized that he must still be at the girl’s house he had gone to see earlier that afternoon. Tori something or another. Normally, she’d never bothered him during a booty call, but she needed him home. He’d come home to be with her and just because the worst of the storm hadn’t yet hit didn’t mean that she didn’t need him.
Clumsily reaching into her purse for her cell phone, she pounded in her brother’s phone number. “Please pick-up, Leo, please,” she prayed out loud.
“Hey, sis.”
The familiar greeting was a balm to her battered heart and all the permission she needed to let go. Unable to form words, Ashley sobbed into the phone.
“Ash? Oh my God, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where’s Ryan?” Ashley could hear the fear in Leo’s voice and tried to calm herself down enough to speak.
“Leo”—she swallowed past the huge lump forming in her throat—“you told me to believe in him. You told me he loved me and would never hurt me. But he doesn’t believe in me, Leo.” Ashley was once again hysterical. “He doesn’t believe in us.”
“Ash, what the fuck are you talking about? This can’t be about Ryan. He loves you like crazy. He was dying to see you. He couldn’t wait to get home. He was going to the school to surprise you. Did he find you?”
“Yeah, he found me. He thought he saw something that wasn’t really happening and instead of asking me, he accused me of cheating on him. On us! He said some horrible things to me and then, without waiting for any sort of explanation, he left. He left me, Leo. After all this time, after all my trust and understanding, he just left.” She felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. “Oh my God, Leo, this hurts so bad.”
“Okay, sis, you sit tight. I’m about twenty minutes away.”
“I’m sorry to bother you during your time with…Tori?”
Leo chuckled. “Toni. It’s okay, Ash. I’m gonna leave here and come home to be with you. And then, I’m going to kill my ex-best friend. In the meantime, stay on the phone with me. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“No, Le, don’t talk to me while you’re driving. It’s getting bad out there. Just come home, please,” she finished on a whisper, “I need you.”
“I’ll be there soon. We’ll figure this shit out. I’ll be there in twenty.”
Feeling a sense of relief drift over her body, Ashley finally willed the tears to stop falling. “I love you, Leo. Thank you for being the best big brother ever.”
His deep chuckle came through the phone. “Yeah, well, I doubt Toni is feeling the same way right now. See you soon.”
He disconnected their call and Ashley curled up on her bed and brought her knees to her chest. How did the day go from her having such hopeful expectations, to experiencing such pain? The guy she had spent so many years loving had shattered her hopes without her doing anything to deserve it.
She found a little comfort in the knowledge that he was going to realize what he’d done and would come back to her. Probably tomorrow, but boy was she going to make him grovel.
“Has it snapped?”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Leo? I don’t have time for this shit.” Ryan white-knuckled his phone while pacing the length of his garage. After starting an argument with his dad as soon as he’d gotten home he’d decided it was better for him to spend some time alone rather than cause any more damage to the vital relationships in his life.
“You better make time,” Leo growled. “Has. It. Snapped?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“Your fucking mind? Has it finally snapped? Because that’s the only reason why I can imagine you would ever treat Ashley—my sister, your best friend—like a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe. So I’ll ask you again, you sorry son-of-a-bitch, has it snapped?”
In all of the years that the two guys had been friends Ryan had never heard Leo’s voice so acerbic. He already knew he’d fucked up, and he already knew the damage would be catastrophic, but listening to Leo’s voice told him there may be a body count when this blew over. That wasn’t even the part that scared him the most. The thought that paralyzed him was that there was a possibility that he may have lost two of the people that meant the most to him in the world.
His dad had been encouraging him for years to seek help in learning how to manage his anger, a problem that had taken root deep in his gut ever since his mother died. But the jealousy? That hadn’t been an issue until Ashley Kynde started looking at him with those hazel eyes and that magnificent smile. When he realized he had someone to love, he also realized he had someone to lose. And he couldn’t lose another person that he loved with his whole heart. He just couldn’t. Leo had been telling him to get the jealousy under control. He’d warned him, over and over again. Nethertheless, had he listened? No.
“Are you listening to me?” Leo’s harsh tone pulled him back to reality. “Christ, Ryan, you broke her heart. What did you say to her? She sounded like she was drowning—and it hasn’t got fuck to do with all the rain. I sure as hell hope whatever she did was horrible—unforgivable even—because whatever you said was a punishment that she’ll never forget.”
The acid that had flooded his
stomach for the past two hours rose quickly up the back of his throat. “Leo, I messed up. I saw her with Scott, and…he was touching her. He was—” Images of Scott with his hands on Ashley’s face, his lips close to her ear, flashed through his mind. “He was standing so close to her, whispering in her ear, man, like he had the right to breathe her air. He had that self-righteous look that he sports when he thinks he’s better than someone, and he was…so fucking close to her…”
“Yeah? So fucking what?” Leo’s retort was like cold water in Ryan’s face.
“What do you mean?” Exasperation threatened his sanity. He knew exactly where Leo was leading this discussion but he couldn’t bear to follow.
“You know exactly what I mean, you blind dick! What did my sister, the supposed love of your pathetic life, do? Did she look like she gave him an invitation to touch her? Was she kissing him? What the fuck did she do to piss you off?”
Pulling in a lung-full of air, Ryan closed his eyes and the sharp sting of his scalp alerted him to the fact that he was pulling hard on his hair. “She…she was backed up against her locker—”
“What? He was hurting her? I will kill that motherfucker!” Leo’s anger was palpable.
“No, wait, she didn’t look scared, as much as annoyed and…defeated. I was watching through the window of the door. He had his hand cupped over hers, pressed up against his heart. At first it looked like she was trying to pull it away. But then he looked at the door, I thought he saw me…but there’s no way that scrawny little punk would actually make a move on her with me standing there, right?”
Ryan didn’t wait for an answer before he continued, talking through what had happened for himself as much as Leo. “So, I see a small smile creep over his nasty face and he leans in closer to her and, well, I don’t know what he was saying. All I know was that she didn’t push him away. She stayed there and let him talk to her. She looked calm and cozy and I lost it, man. I just fucking lost it. I marched in the school, said shit I can’t even remember saying and then I told her we were over.”