by Kit Smart
I don’t give myself time to rethink the matter before I hit send.
Mere seconds later my phone buzzes with a message from Amory who informs me that she may be having a full on mental break down, and that I need to join her in the break room for an emergency cup of tea and package of biscuits. You know, because sometimes you’re not having a full on breakdown, you just need a cup of tea and a bit of chocolate.
This gets a laugh from me despite my admittedly foul mood, and I get up and go to join her. After all, I am going to have to tell her what I’ve done at some point and over chocolate biscuits is definitely not the worst way to do it.
Seri
“Are you out of your mind?!” Amory looks at me as if I’ve just suggested we light our hair on fire.
I try to project an aura of serenity as I dip a chocolate covered biscuit in my tea.
“Have you got a better idea?”
“Yes.” She points her half eaten biscuit at me. “Not, that.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m very serious.” She takes another bite of her biscuit and eyes me. “The way you act sometimes, I can only think that you must have been an inmate in some sort of mental institution before you came here.” She lifts her teacup and narrows her eyes at me. “Did you even think about maybe—I don’t know—consulting with me before you did this stupid shit?!”
She glares at me as she takes what can only be termed an evil slurp of tea.
“Did you think about consulting with Baehr, or perhaps with the Chief himself before you did this incredibly moronic thing?” Taking another biscuit she points it at me. “Did you even take into consideration that we—all of us—had a right to know? That what you do affects us as well?!”
“No.” I admit quietly. Impulsive idiot fucks things up again. “I’m sorry.”
Amory’s eyes flash. “I’m not finished being angry at you yet.” Low and deadly.
Fair enough.
“What are you going to do about the chief?” Amory studies the chocolate biscuit in her hand as if it holds the keys to all the secrets of the universe.
“I don’t know yet.” I admit.
“You don’t know yet?” Amory asks darkly. “You did this without even considering him?”
“No!” I protest stung. “This will be better for him.”
Amory sighs. “Are you kidding?”
“No. This way he won’t have to do any more interviews. And with someone more competent, someone less impetuous…” I trail off as Amory snorts. “It’ll be easier for him.”
“You really are an idiot Seri.”Amory flicks her hand open at the ceiling. “He’s in love with you. Anyone with eyes can see that.” More narrowed eyes. “Please tell me that you know that.”
I nod and drop my gaze to my tea. “I’m not intending to end our relationship.”
“No. You’re just intending to kick his legs out from under him.”She is silent for a long moment before she sighs. “You weren’t here before, so I don’t think you actually understand how much he leans on you professionally—how much better he started doing after you arrived.”
That makes me look up.
Amory waves her biscuit. “Don’t get me wrong, the man is good at his job and he did fine, but he has difficulty connecting with people and the socializing stuff was hard for him.” She plunges the biscuit into her tea then takes a pensive bite. “You’re his back up Seri, but more than that you light him up.” She meets my eyes directly. “I don’t think you appreciate how dark—how muted he is when you’re not around.”
It’s my turn to sigh. “Fuck.”
“Yes.”
“So, what do I do?”
“You don’t resign.” She jabs at the air with her biscuit. “You consult with us, your team, and you don’t resign. Now,” The biscuit makes a suicidal jump into her tea where it is submerged once, twice before it disappears into Amory’s mouth. She raises her brows at me as she chews. “Get back to your computer and rescind you letter of resignation.” She squints at the clock on the wall. “Baehr and the chief will be back soon. Let’s nab them and see what we can come up with.” She narrows her eyes at me chidingly. “Together.”
Seri
Tail tucked firmly between my legs, and stomach awash in chocolate biscuits and tea, I take the long way back to my office in the hopes of settling both mind and stomach before facing my colleagues.
Surprisingly, the thought of my upcoming consultation session with Amory, Baehr, and Owen fills me with relief and something that feels very like hope.
I do, however, dread having to tell Owen that I made the decision to resign without having a word with him, because now that Amory’s taken me to task, and I’ve had a moment to think about it, I understand exactly how thoughtlessly brutal it was.
Worse even than what his ex fiancée did to him. I grimace as shame explodes through my body causing me to flash hot then cold. To tell someone that you love them and all of their difficult pieces and then just decide to leave without telling them…
It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t intending to leave the relationship. It’s the fact that I acted without him. It’s the fact that I decided to change everything without so much as a word of warning when he should have been the first person I went to with my decision—with my problem.
He’s going to think I don’t respect him.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I am a fucking idiot.
A fucking idiot with a lot of damage control to do. I stop in the corridor, and put my hands on the small of my back as I stretch my suddenly aching neck to one side and then the other. As is my habit, I begin to compile a mental list of things to take care of. At the top of my immediate list is: Rescind resignation.
Next, is: Go to Owen and apologize for being a thoughtless, impetuous jackass.
(Before the meeting with Amory and Lachlan, so he doesn’t get blind-sided by my idiocy.)
A bit farther down the list, I put: Deal with Adelaine.
Any woman who would set herself up in her ex-fiancée’s bed, directly after being introduced to his new significant other is in dire need of some boundaries.
I contemplate adding Owen’s parents to the list. I feel like there is something that needs doing there, but I am not entirely sure what—or if it is my place to take that on just yet.
Ultimately, I decide that this is probably one of those situations where I should consult Owen rather than go haring off on my own risking the possibility of making things worse. Look at me learning new social skills.
If he’s fine with things as they are with his parents, then I shouldn’t interfere, but I want to understand the situation so I add: ‘Parents’ to the mental list and follow it up with a dozen questions marks along with a mental sticky note to ask Owen about it.
List made, thoughts collected, and neck stretched, I continue on my way down the corridor. Taking the left that would lead me in the direction of my office, I stop dead at the sight of Adelaine walking in the direction of Owen’s office.
Did I conjure her or something?
I shake my head to see if maybe I am hallucinating but when she fails to dissolve I get pissed.
Speak of the devil. I stalk after her. No time like the present to get started with my list. Even if it is out of order.
23
Seri
To my surprise, Adelaine stops at the top of the corridor and uses a key to open the door to the records’ room.
Where’d she get a key? Wanting to see what she’s up to, I do my best ‘special agent stealth walk’ up to the door of the records room and press my ear to the door to see if I can ascertain her precise location within.
I hear nothing, and so am forced to take the chance of opening the door blind.
I send up a quick prayer that her back is to me and that she is unarmed as I slowly press down on the door handle.
All of my ‘espionage senses’ begin to tingle when I get the door open enough to see Adelaine, hunched over one of the computers. What
are you doing?
Because her back is to me, it is easy to slip into the room after her.
I spare a moment to laud myself on my stealthy, creeping abilities as I come up behind her and attempt to get a look at what she’s doing.
Unfortunately, I fail to account for the age of the building in my creeping and sneaking, and just as I get close enough to ascertain that Adelaine has attached a USB to the computer, and is copying something onto it, the floorboards betray me and the next thing I know, I am flat on my back using my hands to protect my face as sixty kilograms of surprisingly vicious blonde tries to knock me unconscious.
I so did not expect that. I think inanely as I make a grab for her wrists and use my hip to flip her onto her back.
She immediately moves to get a knee between us, which I block by slamming my full weight down onto her stomach.
Physiological reflexes operating as they do, she retches, and I seize on the opportunity jerk her up by the arms and slam the back of her head against the floor. All part of the setting boundaries discussion.
She goes limp and looking down at her, I see she’s half unconscious, which is probably ideal in terms of restraining her and marching her off to the Chief’s office, so he can deal with her.
This does not prevent me from briefly entertaining the idea of slamming her head against the floor one more time in the hopes of knocking her out completely. You can’t just show up uninvited in the bed of another woman’s man Adelaine. It’s very poor form and it pisses me off.
Ultimately deciding that I don’t want to carry her, I settle for putting all my weight on her stomach as I sit up and scan the room for something to restrain her with.
The gagging and retching sounds she makes in reaction to the increased weight on her stomach are almost as satisfying as thumping her head against the floorboards.
Almost.
Seri
Keeping a knee on Adelaine’s torso, I pull open the lower drawer of the desk closest to me and scrounge around.
Huzzah! I feel the familiar cylinder shape of some sort of tape under my hand and pull it out. Duct Tape. God bless.
Shoving Adelaine over onto her stomach, I use the tape to bind her hands together behind her back.
As I push myself to my feet, I take a glance over at the computer, and, seeing that the files she was copying have been successfully transferred to the USB, debate whether or not to disconnect it.
I run thorough everything I learned in training, and then take out my phone to call Amory. I don’t want to screw everything up by inadvertently tripping any sort of trap thing on the USB.
When she answers, I give her a brief rundown of the situation and ask her to send someone better versed than I in the ways of computers.
Seeing that she’s regained sufficient consciousness for my purposes, I reach down and grabbing the back of Adelaine’s jacket in my left hand and one of her arms with my right hand haul her to her feet.
As I frog march the woman out of the records room, I see Amory and her boss making their way toward me down the corridor. Baehr flicks me a quick look as they pass, but is otherwise intent on his destination.
Amory, of course pauses and raises her eyebrows at me as I stop briefly and shove Adelaine face first against the corridor wall, to allow them to pass by. “This is one way to deal with a man’s exes I suppose.”
Despite the gravity of the situation, I snort. “Yeah, you’ve gotta be firm about these things, or they can get out of hand.” I nod in the direction of Baehr as he disappears into the records room. “Get a list.” I tell her. “And know I’m happy to help you work your way down it.”
Amory’s grin widens. “I may just take you up on that.” She tells me as she turns to follow Baehr.
Not knowing if Owen returned with Baehr, I decide to take my prisoner to my office and then go through to Owen if he’s back.
I push Adelaine through the door in front of me, so I don’t immediately see Owen sitting behind my desk.
He looks almost comically startled when I deposit his ex-fiancée in one of the chairs in front of my desk. Fair. “Baehr hasn’t contacted you?”
“No—” He says slowly; staring at Adelaine as he pushes himself to his feet.
“I caught her in the records room copying files onto a USB.” I tell him, lest he think that I’ve beaten and duct-taped his ex’s hands together for personal reasons. Not that she doesn’t deserve it.
Suddenly aware of the hunks of hair hanging in my face, I reach up to pull the rest of my hair free so that I can reorganize it. “Baehr and Amory are in the records room dealing with the USB now.” I explain as I pull my hair up and back into a messy bun. “I assume that Baehr has the technical expertise for that?”
He nods. “Watch her.” He tells me as he rounds the desk. “I’ll be right back.”
“No problem.” I tell his back as he disappears from my office.
Because I don’t feel like sitting beside Adelaine, I make my way behind my desk and take a seat across from her.
The computer monitor is on and I realize that Owen must have been using it.
Why wouldn’t you use your own computer? I wonder as I take a curious look at the screen to see what he was doing.
My heart sinks as I realize that I hadn’t closed the program that I’d used to compose my letter of resignation.
The letter is front and center on the screen staring at me like an accusation.
“Shit.”
24
Seri
“She had a key.”
I look up from my computer as Owen re-enters my office several hours later.
Adelaine is long gone, someone—I assume Owen—sent Theo in to come and get her hours ago.
Rather than taking one of the free chairs in front of my desk, or seating himself on the sofa, he leans his back against the wall beside the door and stares at me from tired eyes. “She made a copy of my office keys the night she came to my place.”
“We should get electronic locks.” I tell him.
“She’s the one that spiked my drink with viagra at the charity auction.” He continues as he slides his hands behind him.
“To what end?” That makes a certain sort of sense. “I didn’t know she was at the auction.”
“Me neither. She was hoping to seduce me and get herself back into my life.” He grimaces. “Or at least back in my bed long enough to get to those records.” He glances down. “And since she knows my medical history, she knew she couldn’t get a sexual response out of me without the viagra.”
“Thought.” I correct automatically as I try to sort through all of the thoughts spinning through my mind.
“Pardon?” He looks up at me.
“Thought.” I repeat. “She thought she couldn’t get a sexual response out of you without the viagra.” Wanting to erase some of the strain in him, I shrug. “Because she’s an idiot, clearly.”
It takes a moment, but he smiles. A little surprised, a little pleased and a little uncertain; its the kind of smile that pierces a heart and warms a body and I tuck it away inside the box in my heart labelled Owen so that I won’t forget it.
“Who is she?” I ask him after a moment.
A flash of pain crosses his face. “She’s just Adelaine. There was no long game here. Someone paid her to do this. She needs the money.”
Ouch. I finger one of the bruises on my collarbone. “Paid her and trained her.” I tell him. “Unless she was into fighting before?”
He shakes his head. “No.” He confirms. “The fighting is new.”
“Is what she was downloading related to the NSU?” I ask when he falls silent.
He lets his head fall back against the wall as he looks at me. “Yes.”
“So, somebody knows we’re here.”
“Yes.”
“Any idea who?”
“No. Not yet.” He hesitates slightly.
Not yet. Adelaine is still being interrogated then. “Understood.”
S
eri
Silence falls as I watch him, and he watches me back.
Finally, Owen pulls his hands out from behind his back and crosses them over his chest.
“When were you going to tell me?” He asks the floor.
“Tell you?” I repeat the question even though I know exactly what he means, because I need to buy myself some time. I’m not quite ready for this yet.
Still not looking up he jerks his chin in the direction of my computer. “That you’re leaving.”
Me.
He doesn’t say the word but I hear it nonetheless, the unspoken word tacked silently to the end of the sentence; the silent weight between us.
I am a fucking idiot. I force back the shame threatening to drag me under because right now at this moment this isn’t about me, this is about trying to undo some of the damage I’ve done. Get a grip girl. “I’m not leaving.” I say carefully.
He looks up. “Then what the hell is that letter on your computer?”
He looks angry now and I welcome it. Good. Be angry. “It’s nothing—” His expression passes the threshold from anger to fury, and I stop to rephrase, because whatever else it is, it’s not nothing. “It was stupid and impetuous, and I’ve already rescinded it.”
He stares at me, face an indecipherable mask of pure stone.
Uncertain what to do, I stare back; try to figure out what’s going on behind all that cold, hard stone.
I try to think of something to say, but nothing makes sense. “I wasn’t thinking.” I say finally. “I was just going off in another headlong rush on my own.”
A spasm of something like grief shatters the stone. He covers his eyes with a hand, takes a deep breath—one that I feel to my core. “Seri—”
I control the impulse to go to him. His body language is not welcoming, and I am not certain that I have any right to intrude anymore.
“I’m sorry—I should have erased it… If I’d known…”