Summer Madness

by Susan Lewis

  There was no point, she knew, in asking Marianne anything. Marianne never spoke about Jake, except to say that he wanted to see Louisa, and besides the sinister feeling she’d got from the village before probably had a lot to do with the rain, which had undoubtedly also been responsible for driving everyone indoors and keeping tourists away.

  However, as they drove slowly in through the huge stone walls that surrounded the village, Louisa saw straight away that the sunbaked square with its neat rows of empty cars and firmly, somehow forbiddingly, shuttered windows was, just as it had been before, totally deserted.

  ‘Here we are,’ Marianne said, coming to a stop outside the Maine. ‘Jake will be here in a few minutes.’

  Louisa pushed the car door open and got out. ‘Don’t you find this place a bit …?’

  ‘Bye,’ Marianne smiled, cutting across her. ‘I have to rush, but you two have a good time,’ and before Louisa could draw breath to say more the Golf was disappearing back the way they’d come.

  Louisa looked around at the outwardly innocuous facades of the tall, narrow houses, the salmon-pink walls and bright blue shutters of the Mairie; the drab and silent École Communale, the eery stillness of the lavage, the somehow incongruous circle of bright flowers on the roundabout, the stark oblong of the church tower jutting from the labyrinth of sloping, red-tiled roofs.

  It was odd, she thought, that despite everything she had heard about Jake, the violence, the blackmail, the deceit, it had never once occured to her to be afraid of him. Not that she felt afraid now, at least not of him, but this peculiar ghost town with its hidden inhabitants and omnipresent air of menace wasn’t somewhere she’d have chosen for a lover’s tryst.

  She wandered over to a short, stone pillar in the shade and sat down. After a while it seemed as if the silence were descending over her with all the intensity of the suffocating heat and it was only as the minutes ticked monotonously by and she found herself listening to the silence that she began to realize the strangeness of it. There were no birds. And now she came to think about it, it wasn’t only here that no birds sang, for she couldn’t recall hearing one for several weeks. Maybe they migrated to more temperate climes during the height of the summer, but their absence was adding to the sense of menace in this square.

  A while later she turned to look back at the road and seeing an old woman, who had appeared from nowhere, her heart froze. She was standing not ten feet away, staring at Louisa with hostile eyes. Her thick arms were folded across her chest, her stout frame was bulging with animosity. Louisa attempted a smile. To her surprise the woman smiled back, but instead of reassuring her it only served to unnerve her further. The woman turned, walked away across the square, then sat heavily down on a cast-iron bench, and once again fixed Louisa with her intimidating eyes.

  Suddenly Louisa was angry. She’d been waiting over fifteen minutes now and still there was no sign of Jake. If he didn’t come it was a long and arduous walk back, but that wasn’t really the point. The point was, that he had kept her waiting in this godforsaken time-warp of a place, where she couldn’t even get a drink if she wanted one and couldn’t even use the phone to call him because she hadn’t brought the number with her.

  Hearing footsteps approaching from the bottom of the square she turned, half-expecting to see someone else, but it was him. Immediately her heart turned over and seeing the way he was looking at her her anger started to fade, leaving in its place the misery and reluctance of having to deal with what had happened since the last time she’d seen him. She stood up, watching the easy movement of his body, feeling her own responding and knew that, despite herself, she was smiling. He looked so pleased and eager to see her that she longed with a passion bordering on desperation to just ignore all that Danny had said and go to him as freely and as naturally as she had only a few days ago.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, coming to a stop in front of her and after looking long into her eyes he cupped his hand around her throat and kissed her lingeringly on the mouth. There was nothing she could do to stop herself responding, the power he had over her was too great.

  ‘Sorry I’m late,’ he murmured, letting his gaze roam over the smoothness of her face, the liquid softness of her anxious brown eyes.

  ‘Where were you?’ she asked.

  ‘I had some business to attend to,’ he answered. ‘It took a bit longer than I expected.’

  ‘Where’s your car?’

  ‘Up at the top. I’ve missed you.’

  She lifted her eyes from his lips and seeing the familiar expression of gentle mockery and surprise at the pleasure he seemed to take just in looking at her she felt herself aching with love for him. ‘Have you?’ she said.

  He seemed vaguely bewildered by the question, then frowned as he remembered that of course he hadn’t called for a few days. ‘Yeah, I missed you,’ he said firmly, but gently.

  ‘Then why didn’t you call?’

  ‘A lot’s been happening, but I sent Marianne as soon as I could.’

  Louisa looked away. ‘So it’s got nothing to do with Danny being back that you didn’t call?’ she said.

  ‘Why should it?’ he asked, turning her back and looking genuinely bemused. Then his frown disappeared as realization dawned. ‘Oh, I get it,’ he said, ‘she told you I brought her home on Saturday?’

  ‘Amongst other things.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know what else she told you, but the reason I brought her home Saturday was because I went to pick her up from the airport. I picked her up, drove her to Consuela’s where she collected her belongings then I drove her to Valanjou. And the reason it was me who did all that was because Erik was doing something else at the time, something for me.’

  ‘Like picking up a lot of money?’ Louisa said, unable to keep the accusation from her voice.

  ‘Yes, as a matter of fact, he was,’ he responded, his face darkening. ‘Now come on, what is all this? I thought we agreed, no questions …’

  ‘That was before Danny told me that you’re still sleeping with her. That you’re making a laughing stock out of me with your crew, that …’

  ‘For Christ’s sake, why are you listening to her? Why are you even discussing me with her? I thought I told you, she is the last person …’

  ‘You want to know about us,’ Louisa finished heatedly. ‘Yes, you did tell me that, but what I want to know is why, Jake? Why are you flaunting your relationship with her when you’re hiding it with me?’

  ‘I’m not flaunting any relationship with Danny,’ he said angrily. ‘How can I be, when there’s no relationship to flaunt? She’s lying to you, Louisa. I don’t know why she’s doing that, I don’t even care much. All I care about is that you stop listening to her.’

  ‘And go on listening to you? Go on making a fool of myself over someone who didn’t even bother to tell me he was married?’

  His eyes were suddenly hard and as he glared down at her she could see the struggle he was having to keep his temper. ‘Who told you?’ he said tightly.

  ‘Consuela told Danny.’ Louisa waited, almost crippled by the need to hear him deny it, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to when his question alone had confirmed it, and if that were true, then dear God, the likelihood was that so too was everything else. ‘So are you?’ she said dully.

  ‘If Consuela says so, then I guess I must be,’ he answered, his voice still strained with anger.

  ‘What kind of answer is that?’ she cried. ‘Either you are or you aren’t!’

  ‘Right now it’s the only answer I can give,’ he said, ‘so don’t push me.’

  ‘It’s not good enough,’ she said turning to walk away. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t go on like this. I thought I could, but …’

  ‘Louisa,’ he said, grabbing her arm. ‘Louisa, don’t walk away.’

  As she looked up at the fine bones of his lean, handsome face and saw the way it was racked with torment, the way the disfiguring scar around his left eye was suddenly so pronounced, she was almost e
ngulfed by the longing to put her arms around him, to hold him and tell him that none of it mattered. That whatever it was, whoever it was, driving this wedge between them would be of no importance at all if he would just trust her enough to tell her what was happening.

  ‘I want to tell you,’ he said gruffly, as though he had read her thoughts, ‘more than anything else I want to tell you, but I just can’t right now.’

  ‘Why? What difference is it going to make when you tell me?’

  ‘There isn’t the time to tell you now,’ he answered.

  ‘Excuses. Always excuses, but never answers,’ she said.

  ‘I’m catching a plane this afternoon,’ he said, putting his hands on her shoulders, ‘but if I weren’t I swear, Louisa, I’d tell you now.’

  ‘I want to believe you;’ she whispered, her voice strangled with emotion as she lowered her eyes, ‘but I don’t know if I dare. I don’t want to believe what I’ve been hearing, but until you tell me what this is all about, why Erik was asking Jean-Claude to look after so much money, why Danny should want to lie about sleeping with you, what your relationship is with Consuela …’

  ‘Darling, look at me,’ he said, his voice almost as choked with feeling as hers. ‘Look at me and listen to what I’m telling you. I am not sleeping with Danny. I don’t want to sleep with Danny, I never did want to sleep with Danny. She was just there, she threw herself at me and I took it. It was no more than that. A one-night stand and I never expected to see her again.’

  ‘And the money?’

  ‘Is money I’m taking with me to Mexico. The people I’m doing business with there want paying in cash. What Erik had was a quarter of a million dollars worth of pesos.’

  ‘What kind of business is it?’

  He looked at her for a long time before slowly shaking his head. ‘Not now,’ he said. ‘I will tell you, but not now. I need to be with you afterwards and today I just can’t stay.’

  ‘Then what about Consuela?’

  ‘It’s all a part of the same thing,’ he answered and once again it was as though his pain was being pushed to the surface. ‘Louisa, please don’t make me hate myself any more than I already do. I never intended anything to happen between us, it would have been better if it hadn’t – for both of us. But we’re here now, we’ve got what we have …’

  ‘It’s blackmail, isn’t it?’ Louisa said flatly. ‘You’re involved in some kind of blackmail.’

  His eyes closed and sighing he dropped his forehead against hers. ‘Were it only that simple,’ he murmured.

  ‘Aphrodite told Sarah that Morandi was a blackmailer,’ she persisted. ‘Morandi told Sarah he works for you.’

  ‘He does, in a way. When did Aphrodite tell Sarah that?’

  ‘On Saturday. The same day that Danny told us she thought the same thing.’

  ‘Has Sarah spoken to Morandi since?’

  ‘No, his answer phone’s on all the time.’

  Jake was silent, then pulling her into his arms he said, ‘I told you none of this was going to be easy. I tried to warn you, but it’s my fault, I was crazy ever to have started it. I should let you go now, but, God help me, I can’t. If you only knew how it feels to hold you, what you do to me when you look at me. I want you, Louisa, I want you here with me to remind me that there is still some good in this world. But I know I can’t keep doing this to you, hiding things and expecting you to accept it. Jesus Christ,’ he groaned as he buried his face in the soft scent of her hair, ‘I want you so bad it’s hard to make myself think about anything else.’

  As Louisa’s arms went around him she just knew, deep in her heart, that no matter what anyone said this wasn’t a man who beat his wife. And neither was he a man who was lying to her now. She could feel his love as though it were moving into her, drawing her closer, binding her to him. The gentleness, the concern and deep emotion that reflected themselves in his eyes, in his voice, in his touch were more real to her than anything else could ever be.

  ‘Hold me,’ she whispered as his arms tightened around her. ‘Hold me close Jake and tell me that I’m not wrong about you.’

  He lifted his head, looked deep into her eyes and said, ‘You’re not wrong,’ and then his lips were on hers, his arms were crushing her and his whole body was pressed against hers telling her the extent of his desire, his passion, his unspoken love.

  ‘Oh God,’ he laughed harshly. ‘Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t I just …?’ His eyes closed as though he regretted saying even that much, but then he was kissing her again, kissing her and holding her as though he might never let her go.

  Then suddenly, like a great, ugly fist, Danny’s words hit her. ‘He’ll get you to the point of begging …’ she’d said. ‘He won’t make a commitment to me, not yet …’

  Louisa pulled herself abruptly from the embrace, shaking as much with anger at herself for being so easily taken in as with hatred of Danny for spoiling what little she had. But it wasn’t Danny, was it? It was him. He had said those things …

  ‘For God’s sake!’ he cried angrily as she threw the accusation at him. ‘What do you want me to say? That I’m committing myself to you?’

  Yes, that was what she wanted, but at the same time she didn’t want to hear him refuse.

  He rolled his eyes towards the heavens as he gave an exasperated smile. ‘Why are you letting her do this?’ he said gently.

  Louisa looked at him, the battle raging within her to resist him.

  ‘Would you believe Erik if I got him to tell you how I feel about you?’ he said.

  ‘Why don’t you tell me yourself?’ she challenged.

  ‘Because I don’t have the right to tell you myself. But I will tell you this, Louisa, I want you just as much as you want me. Sure, you’re telling yourself you don’t right now, but we both know that what’s happening between us is too big for either of us to deny. And what Danny told you, what she claims she’s repeated from my lips, was either what she overheard me saying to Erik, or what Erik’s told her himself. It’s more likely that she overheard it, because I don’t believe Erik would break my trust. And what I told him was that I can’t make the commitment to you that I want to make. They were idle words, because he knows that already and he knows why. And as for getting you to beg me, you’ve got to know that I’d never let you do that, it would never get that far, because God knows I can’t hold out much longer myself. The only reason I’ve held back until now is because I can’t make love to you knowing you feel the way you do, without telling you first what you’re really up against. Erik knows we haven’t made love because I told him. I told him that it was going to drive us both crazy, but that I wasn’t going to do it until you knew the truth. Danny must have heard that and then put it into her own words.’

  ‘But why would she do that? And why, after I asked you that night in the garden not to make me beg, should she have used that very same word?’

  ‘An unhappy coincidence, I don’t know. But that word sure as hell never crossed my lips when I was talking to Erik.’

  ‘That still doesn’t explain why Danny would lie to me.’

  ‘No, because I don’t have an answer for that,’ he said, ‘I don’t know Danny like you do, maybe you’re better placed to come up with the answer.’

  Louisa thought she probably was. But what was it all about, she wondered. What was going on in Danny’s head to make her want to hurt her the way she was, to take the credit for her success, to throw her background in her face then tell her it was because of it that she excused Louisa for a selfishness Louisa was unaware of? There was something going on with Danny, something that undoubtedly had its roots in a horrible and competitive jealousy that Jake had fallen for Louisa and not for Danny. But it wasn’t something Louisa wanted to think about now, not when Jake was standing there, watching her with that lazy irony in his eyes that was tinged with concern while waiting for her to tell him … To tell him what? How sorry she was that she had doubted him? But no, she couldn’t do t
hat, and she was sure, under the circumstances, that he wouldn’t expect her to.

  ‘Why don’t we just forget about Danny and concentrate on us?’ she said softly.

  ‘You got it,’ he smiled. Then pulling her into the circle of his arm he started to walk towards the narrow road running alongside the school.

  ‘Do you find anything odd about this place?’ Louisa said, taking the hand that was draped around her shoulder and lacing her fingers through his.

  ‘Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do,’ he answered. ‘To be honest it gives me the creeps.’

  ‘Mmm, me too.’ She paused for a moment then said, ‘I’m sorry we argued.’

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ he said, giving her a quick squeeze. ‘So tell me, what have you been doing with yourself?’

  ‘Not much actually. It’s been too hot to go anywhere, so we’ve been lazing around the pool mainly. Oh, by the way, Sarah’s got the enlargements of the Valhalla. I think you’re going to like them.’

  ‘Good, I’ll have to try and get round to see them. And, now I come to think of it, I’m going to have to get you on board one of these days because you haven’t seen her yet, have you?’

  ‘No, but I’d love to. More than anything I’d like to see where you live.’

  He laughed. ‘I don’t live on the Valhalla,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a house over in the Var where I live when I’m here.’

  ‘A house?’ she said, surprised. ‘You’ve never mentioned it before.’

  ‘No, I just hope I’m doing right by mentioning it now.’

  ‘Why shouldn’t you be?’

  ‘Come on,’ he said, pulling open the door to the Mercedes, ‘get in and I’ll drive you back.’

  ‘So soon?’

  ‘I told you, I’ve got a plane to catch.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘Back to Mexico,’ and closing the passenger door behind her he walked round to get in the other side. The roof was up and all the windows were closed, but as Louisa made to push the button to open hers he stopped her.