“So are you gonna live your life to make him happy, or are you interested in making yourself happy?” Blake sighed when I didn’t respond. “I’ve known you a long time. You’re not the kind of guy who gives a shit what anyone thinks of him. You do your own thing. You’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission. That’s who you are. Don’t change that just to please your old man.”
“It’s just a lot of pressure,” I said, taking a deep breath as I braced my hands on the edge of the wood table. “He’s got his eye on this guy he wants Tiana to marry, thinking he’ll be able to step in and pick up some of the slack. To Demi, having a son-in-law involved in the business isn’t the same as having his own flesh and blood at the reins, but it’s the next best thing.”
“Tiana isn’t marrying that loser. I don’t care what Demi says.” Blake had made no secret of the fact he was opposed to the whole arranged marriage thing, and I knew why—he wanted Tiana for himself. We shared a brief smile before Blake shook his head. “This isn’t about that. It’s about you. I wanna hear about your plans. What do you wanna do?”
“Well, I like the idea of what you do, funding businesses, but I want to get in on the ground floor. I’d like to invite proposals from start-ups that need funding, dissect their business plans and track records, evaluate their products or services, and if there’s something that interests me, fund it and help them execute their plan.” It was amazing how after several shots, my head was clear enough to convey my thoughts to Blake. Obviously, this idea had been lurking in my subconscious for a lot longer than I’d been willing to admit.
“Interesting.” Blake scratched the dark stubble on his jaw. “Obviously, what I do is different. I fund established businesses that need an injection of capital for their expansion plans. They don’t need my expertise to run the business, which suits me since Alabaster’s keeps me busy enough. I get a good return, often in the form of equity, so it works for me. But you wanna be hands-on? You’re interested in being a part of the process?”
“Yeah. You think I’m crazy? Biting off more than I can chew?” I trusted Blake’s opinion, and I knew he would give it to me straight.
“Hell, no. If anyone’s capable of taking that on, it’s you. I say go for it. Tell your old man you’re out and get started on this ASAP.”
The idea of telling Demi I was walking away from his business made my stomach churn, but I couldn’t do both. If I wanted this to work, I had to give it everything I had. For the first time in my life, I was considering a serious long-term commitment, and instead of being scary, it was kind of exhilarating. I was ready.
“Thanks, man,” I said, offering Blake my hand. “I really appreciate the advice.”
“Anytime, you know that.” Blake grinned. “And whenever you need a hand, I’m there. This sounds like it might be right up my alley.”
“You mean like a partnership?” I asked, considering the idea. “What about Alabaster’s?”
“That company runs like a well-oiled machine,” he said, chuckling. “I just hang around there ‘cause it’s fun to bust your brother’s chops. But I wouldn’t mind sinking my teeth into a new challenge.”
“Why don’t we get together after the wedding to talk about it some more?”
“You just name the time and place. I’m in, Damon.”
Miles approached our table, and he didn’t look happy. “Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if I could have a word with you, Damon.”
“No problem,” Blake said, sliding out of the booth. “We were just finishing up here. I could use another drink.”
I waited for Blake to walk away before I asked Miles, “What’s up, man?”
“You tell me.” He claimed the seat Blake had vacated before looking me in the eye, his displeasure evident in every harsh line on his face. He looked as if he’d aged ten years since the rehearsal dinner. “You and El? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
I’d known this would come up eventually. While I wasn’t sure Eleni had told him I was the reason she couldn’t see him anymore, I had my suspicions. She was a straight shooter who wouldn’t hide the truth just to spare his feelings. Too bad I couldn’t claim to be as brave as she was.
“It’s complicated.” That was a cop-out, but I couldn’t explain my relationship with Eleni when I didn’t understand it myself. “We started out as friends, and it evolved from there. We weren’t…” I didn’t want to say intimate and add to his pain by confirming the nature of my involvement with the woman he clearly had feelings for. “We didn’t start seeing each other until very recently.”
“It’s not that we were exclusive,” he said, sighing. “But you knew how I felt about her. I told you. Why the hell didn’t you tell me that you had a thing for her then?”
“You’re right. I should have. But you knew Deacon was marrying Eleni’s best friend. Their engagement hasn’t been a well-guarded secret. There’ve been plenty of pictures of Eleni and I out together. You must have known we were tight.”
“Yeah, I knew.” He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. “That’s why I told you about us. I wanted to see if you’d man up, tell me the truth about what was going on between you two.”
“Why didn’t you just ask me?” I brought my glass to my lips as I waited for his response.
“I guess for the same reason you weren’t straight with me about why you called me in the first place. I’m not stupid, man. I knew there was a reason you wanted to see me that night.”
I’d never been caught making a fool of myself for the sake of a woman before. “I didn’t want you to go out with her.” Now that the truth was out, I had to come clean for our partnership to work. “In fact, it killed me to know you two were sleeping together.”
“Don’t feel bad.” Miles sighed. “She was never that into me. I got the feeling it was because of you.”
That made me feel marginally better, but I knew Miles didn’t deserve to get caught up in our drama. He was a decent guy who clearly cared for Eleni. “I’m sorry it had to go down this way. Things are a bit of a mess right now.” To say the least. “I’m not sure where Eleni and I stand, but if it makes you feel any better, she doesn’t seem interested in making a commitment to me either.” Not that I was in a position to ask for one.
“She said she didn’t want to get married or have kids. You believe that?”
I’d asked myself that question a hundred times. Was she being sincere, or was she just scared? If she meant what she said, where did that leave us when she found out about my daughter? “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“I’ve known you awhile.” He smiled. “Granted, not all that well, but well enough to know you like to play around. You really think you can be faithful to Eleni?”
If I’d been in his position, I would have asked the same questions of the man who’d taken her away from me. I’d want to know that he cared about her and intended to treat her with the respect she deserved. “I don’t want anyone else. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve barely thought about another woman since I met her.” Sure, I’d had the occasional hook-up, but they’d rarely lasted more than a few hours and always left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Miles nodded as though he’d decided to take me at my word. “What does this mean for us? Are you still interested in investing in my business?”
“That depends on you.” Given the course I was charting for my future, partnering with Miles made perfect sense. His business was profitable, and he’d already proven the model worked in a tough market. “If you still want my money, I’m game.”
“You’re just offering your money?”
“What else do you need from me?” I would have loved to be hands-on, but I wasn’t sure he needed or wanted my input.
“I know your deal.” He smirked. “M.B.A. from Yale and you’ve consulted with several Fortune 500 companies.”
“You’ve done your homework.” Not that I was surprised. It didn’t take mu
ch effort to read a Wikipedia page or Google someone’s name. All the information he could want on me was available with a few keystrokes, including details I should probably pay someone to bury. Even though I had the start-up capital, I would still have to sell myself to smart entrepreneurs, like Miles, who had other options. “So you probably also know I don’t have the best reputation. I’ve been a little reckless in my personal life—everyone knows that. But I’ve never played fast and loose with someone else’s money. You can speak to any of the companies I’ve done consulting for—I give it all I’ve got.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?” I was surprised. He had every reason to distrust me.
“In my business, it’s often the names behind a club that can make or break it. Everyone knows you love to party.”
I winced at the characterization. “I can’t argue with that. I wasted a lot of my life chasing a good time.” Yet I’d never had a better time than I’d had when it was just Eleni and me alone in my bed—talking, making love, and laughing. “But those days are behind me. I’m ready to get serious, focus on building a business of my own.”
“Investing in clubs like mine?” Miles asked, leaning in as he pushed aside discarded glasses.
“Not just clubs. Different types of start-ups that would benefit from an infusion of cash and a strategic partnership with someone who can help take them to the next level.”
“Interesting.”
“I get that you know how to run your club. You have a proven business model that could be easily duplicated in another large market, but it can’t hurt to have someone to bounce ideas off, right?”
“No, it definitely can’t hurt,” he said, looking thoughtful as he stroked his chin. “And like I said, I think you’re the perfect guy for the job. Hell, you’ve turned some hole-in-the-wall bars and clubs into hot spots.”
I couldn’t take all the credit. It had a lot to do with the company I kept, or used to keep: Hollywood’s elite, rich socialites, and popular musicians. “I’ve been hanging with a different crowd lately.” I wanted to impress upon him that if he accepted my offer, he wouldn’t get a party boy with deep pockets. He would get an Ivy League graduate with a point to prove and a reputation to clean up. “I can’t promise my old friends will support your new club in L.A., but I’m willing to call in some favors if need be.”
“I appreciate that.” With a pointed look, he said, “I’m not gonna pretend I’m not still reeling from this thing with El. I care about her a lot. I really thought we could have a future.”
“I understand.” I wouldn’t apologize for the way I felt about Eleni or try to justify our relationship, but I also wouldn’t rub Miles’s nose in our happiness. “I’m not offering to be your friend. I’m offering to be your partner. I don’t intend to tell you about my personal life, and I don’t need to hear about yours. Sound fair?”
Miles seemed to consider my offer before extending his hand. “Yeah, that sounds fair.”
***
I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, with thoughts of Eleni running through my head as I tried to fall asleep. I remembered how I’d felt the first time I laid eyes on her, as if someone had sucker-punched me. After months of therapy, I’d come home to start a new life, determined to be the kind of man Dalia could be proud of. I’d told myself I wouldn’t even think about pursuing any kind of relationship until I had my shit together, but within days of my return to the States, I’d met her, and everything had changed. I wanted Eleni in my life no matter the risk… in spite of the cost. From day one, I couldn’t get Eleni out of my head. I called her in the middle of the day just to hear her voice, sent random texts to make her laugh, and made excuses to stop by Alabaster’s to see my brother, hoping she’d be there.
Now I was lying in my bed, wishing she was with me. I reached for my cell phone on the nightstand, arguing with myself over whether it was too late to call. I knew it was, still I did.
She picked up after the second ring. “Hey, Damon. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
I loved the sound of her voice, especially when it was husky and laced with sleep. “I’m sorry I woke you. I know we’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Maybe that was the reason I couldn’t sleep. Soon I’d be standing across the aisle from my fantasy girl while we watched another couple get married. “I just… I couldn’t sleep.”
“It’s okay. To tell you the truth, I was tossing and turning myself. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. What’s new?”
I hadn’t called her since we’d made love in my car. I’d thought I’d give her time to sort out her feelings and prayed she would realize we’d passed the point of no return a long time ago. “I had a talk with Miles.”
“Really? How did that go?”
It sounded as though she was shifting in bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. I pulled the pillow close, inhaling the subtle scent of her perfume. I’d told my cleaning lady she didn’t have to wash my sheets. Pathetic, but I wasn’t ready to let go of that tangible reminder that she’d shared not only my bed but her heart with me that night. “It went okay. We talked about you.”
She groaned. “God, I wish I’d known you two were friends. I never would’ve agreed to go out with him.”
“We’re not friends,” I said, chuckling. “We were acquaintances at best. Now we’re business associates.”
“So you’re going to help him open that new club in L.A.?”
“Yeah, he’s got a good thing going here. No reason we can’t make the club in L.A. as successful, maybe even more so.”
“But won’t it be weird working with him now?” She sighed. “I didn’t mean to make it sound as though I was that important to either one of you. I just—”
“You are important to me.” She had no idea how important, and I couldn’t tell her unless I wanted to risk scaring her away. “Really important.”
After a moment, she said, “I really don’t want to lose your friendship. I haven’t had very many people in my life I can talk to the way I talk to you. Really, Mia’s the only other person, and now that she’s getting married…” Her voice was filled with sadness. “Well, like I said, things will change.”
I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, knowing the only person she considered family was about to start a family with someone else. “You know you can always call me when you need someone to talk to, sweetheart.”
“After what happened between us…” She cleared her throat delicately. “Well, I’m afraid being intimate may have been a mistake.”
That was the last thing I wanted to hear. “You don’t mean that. What we shared was amazing. I know you’re scared. I am too, but that doesn’t mean we can go on pretending we’re not having these feelings for each other. They’re real. You know that, and so do I.”
“I don’t do relationships. You know that.”
“Do you think if you keep saying it, you’ll be able to convince yourself this isn’t a relationship? Because it is. I talk to you more than I ever talked to any of my exes. You make me laugh more than any of my buddies. I love just hanging out with you. And the sex…” I chuckled. “Well, there are no words to describe that.”
She laughed. “I don’t know about that. I could think of a few.”
“Tell me,” I whispered, needing to hear her define what I was feeling.
“Explosive.”
“Crazy-hot.”
“Dangerous.”
That was crux of the problem. She was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of coming to depend on me and being abandoned. I so wanted to tell her the truth about Dalia, but knowing how she felt about kids, I feared that would mark the end of us.
“Would you want it as much as you do if it were safe and easy?” I smiled when she laughed. The sound of her laugh was enough to make a bad day better and a good day great. “Come on, every relationship you’ve ever had has been safe and easy. Easy because the guys always pursued you; you never had to go after them. And safe because you di
dn’t feel anything for them, so you knew they couldn’t break your heart.”
“You’re right,” she said softly. “But I do feel something for you, and it scares the hell out of me. I know this can’t go anywhere. It can’t. So why can’t I just force myself to end it now, before we get in any deeper?”
I bolted up in bed as panic gripped me. “You don’t want to end this any more than I do. Be brave, baby. Be fearless. Give it time to see where it could go.”
“It can’t go anywhere,” she said, desperation creeping into her voice. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you. Why won’t you believe me?”
“Because I hear it in your voice.”
“What? What do you hear in my voice?”
“I hear how much you want what you’ve never had.” And I wanted more than anything to be the man to give it to her. “I hear how much you want someone to lean on, someone you can count on to be there for you when times get tough.”
“I have Mia for that.”
“Yeah, but Mia can’t hold you through the night. I can. I want to. Please just let me be that guy who holds you when you cry or laughs with you when you feel like being silly.” I smiled at the memory of all the times we’d laughed for no reason at all. “Let me be the person who helps you erase all of the bad memories and replace them with good ones.”
She released a shaky breath, obviously struggling to keep her emotions in check. “You make it sound so easy, but trust me, it’s not.”
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, baby. I’m just saying I think it’s possible if you give it a chance.” Sensing she may be about to say something I didn’t want to hear, I said, “Don’t answer me now, Eleni. Just think about what I’ve said, okay?”
“I won’t be able to think about anything else.”
At least I had her attention. “Good. Now get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day for all of us. I’m surprised Mia’s not staying with you tonight.” Deacon had been grumbling about her not spending the night before the wedding with him, so I knew she’d made other arrangements.
Damon (Starkis Family #2) Page 13