Raising Faith

by Melody Carlson

  The woman frowned. “I’m sorry, but that’s all full now.”

  Morgan just stared at her. “Completely full?”

  “Yes. And we actually have a waiting list.”

  “A waiting list?”

  The woman nodded. “I don’t know if Cory and Janna can take any more kids or not, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take names.” She looked at her paper. “You’ll be number three on it.”

  “Oh …”

  “Your name?”

  “Uh, Morgan. Morgan Evans.”

  “Oh, you’re Cleo’s daughter. Of course.” She wrote down the name. “Well, hopefully they’ll be able to squeeze a few more in.”

  Morgan nodded. “Yeah, hopefully.” But as she walked through the foyer and on toward the bazaar area, she felt numb. She couldn’t believe that she had worked past midnight last night just to sew all these stupid socks, and now she wouldn’t even be able to go on the ski trip. What was the point of even selling her socks in here today? All the money made at the bazaar was either to pay their way or to donate to the church’s outreach fund. Not that she didn’t want to contribute to the outreach fund, but she had twenty pairs of socks in her bag. That was equal to one hundred and sixty dollars. Combined with her fifty dollar deposit, which she had tucked back into her backpack, that would’ve been more than enough to cover her spot. But now she had no spot.

  She blinked back tears as she walked through the sanctuary, which was now serving as the shopping area. Friends from church smiled at her elf costume and said hello to her. She tried to be friendly back, but it was just too hard. Everything felt way too hard. Finally, she got to the youth-group booth, and she knew what she would do. She would donate some of her socks to be used for the outreach fund or whatever. And then she would excuse herself from working there. She would tell them that her grandmother was ill, and that was true — totally true. And then she would walk back home and spend the morning with Grandma.

  “Hey, Elf Morgan,” called out Emily with a happy smile.

  “Hey, Elf Emily,” said Morgan, forcing a smile.

  “What’s the matter?” asked Emily.

  “Nothing.”

  Emily shook her head. “No, I can tell something’s wrong, Morgan.” She pulled Morgan aside. “What is it?”

  “Look, Em,” said Morgan quickly. “I can’t work here today and —”

  “But you have to —”

  “No,” said Morgan firmly. “My grandma is sick and I need to go —”

  “Grandma is sick?” said Emily with concern. “Is it serious?”

  “It’s her heart.”

  “Oh no!”

  “Anyway, she’s going to have surgery next week. And she’s not supposed to overdo it or anything … and I just feel like I should go home and —” Then Morgan began to cry.

  “Oh, Morgan,” said Emily, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry. Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No,” said Morgan, wiping her tears with her jacket sleeve. “You stay here and help.” She handed Emily the whole bag of socks. Really, what difference did it make if the sock money went completely to the outreach fund? Maybe that was for the best anyway. “They’re pinned together. I wanted to sell them for eight dollars a pair.”

  “Okay.” Emily peered at Morgan. “I’ll take care of it for you. Tell Grandma hello for me. And let me know if there’s anything I can do. I didn’t know she was sick, Morgan. I feel so bad.”

  “It’s okay,” said Morgan, still sniffing.

  “Will you be at the parade?”

  “Yeah. I think so. Unless Grandma really needs me.”

  “Well, don’t worry about your socks,” said Emily with authority. “I will take care of everything for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  Then Emily hugged Morgan again. “I really love you, Morgan. And now I know why you’ve been acting kind of different. You’ve been worried about Grandma.” She stepped back and shook her head. “And I haven’t been a very good friend. I’m sorry.”

  Now Morgan was starting to cry all over again. “It’s okay.”

  “See you later?”

  “Yeah.” Before anyone else could ask her what was wrong, Morgan made a quick escape out a side exit. Then she slung her backpack over one shoulder and jogged all the way across town and home.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Grandma when Morgan came into the house. “I thought you were working at the bazaar.”

  What Morgan really wanted to do just then was to break into tears and tell Grandma the whole sad story. But she knew that would be wrong. Grandma’s heart wasn’t strong, and Morgan suspected stress would only make things worse. “There were a lot of people working at the bazaar,” she said, which wasn’t untrue. “And they didn’t really need me. I left my socks with Emily, and she’s going to take care of it for me.”

  “You didn’t want to stay and work?” asked Grandma, clearly suspicious.

  “I stayed up so late last night,” said Morgan as she hung up her jacket. “And there’s still the parade … I was just feeling tired.”

  Grandma smiled. “Well, I know how that feels.”

  “And,” said Morgan with a smile that she hoped was convincing. “I got to thinking about those sugar cookies, and I only had one yesterday …”

  “Hmmm?” Grandma smiled. “That would be nice with a cup of tea now, wouldn’t it?”

  “It sure would. You sit down and I’ll get it ready.”

  And so Grandma and Morgan enjoyed a nice little tea party, just the two of them. And then they both took a morning nap. Morgan felt surprisingly better when she woke up a little before noon. Oh, sure, she was still bummed about not getting to go on the ski trip, but she wasn’t going to let that ruin her life. Besides, she told herself, maybe it was better this way. Maybe Grandma was going to need Morgan at home, after her surgery and everything.

  “Are you going to the parade?” asked Grandma as she looked at the clock.

  “Will you promise to be good while I’m gone?” said Morgan.

  “I promise,” said Grandma. “Your mother said she’d take pictures on her new digital camera and show them to me tonight. I want to see my granddaughter elf with her friends.”

  “Okay, then,” said Morgan. “Just make sure you keep your promise.”

  “And you promise to have fun,” said Grandma. “You’ve been working too hard lately.”

  “Okay,” said Morgan. “I will have fun.”

  “I wish I could offer you a ride to —”

  “Grandma,” said Morgan in a warning tone.

  “I know …”

  Morgan didn’t even mind walking back to town. There seemed to be no sign of rain, and the cool breeze was kind of invigorating. But the best part was that, as she walked, she prayed. She told God that she was okay about not going on the ski trip and that her faith was big enough to trust him despite feeling disappointed. But mostly she prayed about Grandma. She begged God to make the surgery go well, and for Grandma to be her happy and energetic old self again. That meant more to Morgan than anything.

  chapter ten

  “You’re here!” Emily cried, hugging Morgan as she joined the others in the staging area. “I told them about your grandma and everything.”

  The other girls all expressed their concern, and Morgan was afraid she was going to start crying all over again. She wondered why sympathy did that to a person. But before long she was distracted with getting her elf shoes and elf hat on properly, and then they were all taking their places on the float and listening to Mrs. Landers’ instructions.

  “Just dance or sing or whatever you feel like doing,” she told them. “The music should be fun, and mostly we just want you to look like happy elves.” She gave them bags of candy to toss to the kids. “Just don’t throw it too hard,” she warned them. “We don’t want Santa’s elves putting any eyes out.”

  Soon they were taking off, and Morgan found that she was actually keeping her pro
mise to Grandma. She was having fun. It was fun being on the float with her best friends, and she felt thankful to have them. She even spotted Mom standing in front of Cleopatra’s with Maureen. She waved and smiled and tossed them candy as Mom took photos. And before long, it was all over — and a good thing since it was just starting to rain.

  “As a thank you to the elves, who were brilliant,” said Mrs. Landers as they climbed off the float, “I am taking you all out for lunch.”

  Morgan considered joining them, but she still felt concerned for Grandma. “I think I should go home,” she told them as she removed the elf shoes and put her boots back on. “Mom has to work all day, and Grandma is alone.” Fortunately, they understood and didn’t pressure her to come. And when no one was looking, she grabbed her backpack and headed home.

  Grandma was napping, and Morgan went to her room to remove the now soggy elf costume. She hung it up, put on some cozy sweats, and then flopped down on her bed and started to read a book. But just as she turned a page, she heard a crashing sound in the living room. She jumped up and went out in time to see Grandma’s TV tray splattered across the living room floor and Grandma standing in front of her recliner and clutching her chest.

  “Grandma,” said Morgan in a surprisingly calm voice. “Let me help you.” She quickly eased Grandma back in her chair and fully reclined it, putting Grandma’s feet up. “Are those your pills?” asked Morgan as she grabbed up a prescription bottle.

  “Yes,” gasped Grandma.

  Morgan opened the bottle and gave Grandma a pill, running to the kitchen for water and the cordless phone. Then as she handed Grandma the water, she dialed 911 and waited.

  “It’s my grandmother,” Morgan said, “I think she’s having a heart attack.” Then Morgan told the man on the phone their address.

  “Keep her lying down,” said the man. “Does she have any heart medicine or aspirin handy?”

  “She is lying down,” said Morgan. “And she just took a pill. Should I get aspirin too?”

  “Now don’t hang up, but can you tell me what kind of pill?”

  So Morgan read the name from the bottle, and the man said, “You don’t need to give her aspirin; that pill should help. Paramedics are on the way. Is your grandmother conscious?”

  Morgan looked down at Grandma. She was lying so still, with her eyes closed. “I don’t know.” She put her hand on Grandma’s cheek, and her eyelashes fluttered. “Hurry,” said Morgan into the phone. “Please, hurry!”

  “The ambulance is on its way. Just stay on the phone.”

  Morgan kneeled next to Grandma with the phone still in her hand. “Dear God,” she prayed. “I need you to help Grandma right now. Please, please, God, help her to be okay. Help her heart to be okay. Help the ambulance to get here soon. Take care of her for me, God. I love my grandma so much. Please, don’t take her away. We need her.” Just then Morgan heard the sound of a siren, and soon the paramedics were in the house, tending to Grandma. Morgan just stood in the background, still praying.

  “She’s stabilized and ready for transport,” said a woman paramedic to Morgan. “Are you the only one at home?”

  Morgan just nodded.

  “Want to ride in the ambulance?”

  With tears in her eyes, Morgan nodded again and followed them as they rolled the gurney with Grandma on it out the door. She sat up in front with the driver. He told her not to worry, that these paramedics were the best, and that it looked like her grandmother would be fine. Morgan told him that Grandma was supposed to have heart surgery next week.

  “Well, I’ll bet that surgery date just got moved up,” he said.

  At the hospital, Grandma was taken to the emergency room, and Morgan called her mother from the waiting room.

  “Oh, my goodness,” said Mom. “I’m so glad you were home, honey. I’ll be right there.”

  It seemed to take forever for Mom to get there, but Morgan tried to make good use of the time by praying. Then she remembered the church’s prayer chain and called the office and quickly relayed the emergency. “We’ll be right on it,” said a voice that sounded like the same woman who had put Morgan’s name on the waiting list that morning. “We’ll be praying hard.”

  “Morgan,” said Mom as she burst into the waiting room. “How is she?”

  “I don’t know,” said Morgan. “They told me to stay here. They said they’d let me know. It’s been almost an hour.”

  “I’ll go ask.”

  Morgan followed Mom to the desk where the receptionist seemed to know little. But Mom wouldn’t give up without an answer, and they waited until an ER doctor finally came out to speak to them. “They’re prepping her for surgery right now,” he said. “Lucky for her, one of our best heart surgeons, Dr. Cowden, just happened to be on hand this afternoon. And fortunately we have all her test results from last week, and we’ve spoken to her GP. They should be taking her into surgery within the hour.”

  “Oh, my,” said Mom. “Do you know how long the surgery will last?”

  “Hard to say. They won’t know until they go in whether she needs a valve replacement or a valve repair.”

  “Which is better?”

  “If the valve isn’t too severely damaged, it’s usually preferable to repair it. The human body has amazing abilities to heal. A valve replacement can involve some other challenges like anti-coagulation therapy.”

  Most of this was going straight over Morgan’s head. All she knew was that she had better keep praying. And the more people praying, the better.

  “I already called the church prayer chain,” Morgan told Mom as they returned to the waiting area. “But I’m going to call my friends too.”

  She called Emily’s number, quickly relaying the events of the afternoon. “I just thought maybe you guys could be praying for her,” Morgan said finally.

  “Of course,” said Emily. “I’m going babysitting again in a little bit, but I’ll try to pray as much as I can. And I’ll call Amy and Carlie and Chelsea and ask them to pray too.”

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s a good thing you went home when you did, wasn’t it?”

  “More like a God thing.”

  “Definitely. Oh, by the way, I went back to the bazaar this afternoon and all of your socks had sold.”

  “Good.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure that seems unimportant in light of this.”

  “Sort of …”

  “Well, I’ll call the others. We’ll all be praying.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I love you, Morgan. And I’m going to be a better friend.”

  “Thanks, Em. I love you too.”

  The next few hours were the longest ones in Morgan’s life. Several church members joined them, and eventually they all went to the hospital chapel where they bowed their heads and prayed. Then, finally, just before nine o’clock, Dr. Cowden came to speak to them.

  “It went as well as it could possibly go,” he told them. “We were able to repair the mitral valve, rather than replacing it. The rest of her heart appeared to be in good shape.”

  “That’s good to hear,” said Mom.

  “She’s in recovery for the next hour and will be moved to ICU after that.”

  “Can we see her?” asked Mom.

  “Not until she’s in ICU,” he said. “And then only immediate family, one at a time, and not for more than five minutes.”

  Mom tried to get Morgan to go home with one of their church friends, but Morgan refused. “I’m staying as long as you’re staying,” she informed her mother.

  It was past ten o’clock before Mom got to go in and see Grandma. Morgan waited nervously in the hallway, hoping she too would get a turn.

  “Grandma wants to see you,” Mom said as she came out. “But keep it short, she needs to rest.”

  Morgan nodded and quietly tiptoed into Grandma’s room, going over to stand by her bed. There were tubes and wires everywhere, but Morgan focused her eyes on her grandmother’s face. “I love you, Grandm
a,” she whispered.

  Grandma’s eyes opened. “I love you too, darling,” she said in a husky voice.

  “Don’t talk,” said Morgan. “I don’t want to wear you out. I just want to say that I know you’re going to be okay, Grandma. Everyone is praying for you, and your surgery went really well, and I just know you’re going to be okay.”

  Grandma smiled, and Morgan knew that it was true. She was going to be okay.

  “I’m not supposed to stay too long.” Morgan reached over and put her hand on Grandma’s. “But I’ll see you tomorrow. Rest well, okay.”

  “You too,” whispered Grandma.

  Grandma was better the next day. She wasn’t getting out of bed just yet, but she could talk a bit and listen a while. Morgan and Mom went to see her first thing in the morning and then again later in the afternoon.

  “I went with Carlie to get a tree today,” Morgan told her. “It was so fun. We went out in the woods, and I cut it down all by myself. Mr. Garcia let me use his saw. Then I dragged it all the way back to the truck by myself. It’s not a real big tree, but it looks good in our house. I put it where you always do, but I didn’t have time to put decorations on it yet. It smells so good, Grandma.” Then Morgan put her hands close to Grandma’s face. “Maybe you can smell it too. I think I still have pine pitch on my hands.”

  Grandma sniffed and then smiled. “Mmm … it smells just like Christmas.”

  “It does, doesn’t it?”

  By Monday, Grandma was moved from ICU to a regular room, and the plan was to release her by Saturday. “She’s doing really well,” Mom told Morgan as they drove to the hospital that evening. “The doctor told me that she’ll need to take it nice and easy when she comes home, but that it won’t be long, probably sometime after the New Year, and she can start resuming her old routines.”

  “Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not going on the ski trip.”

  “You’re not going?”

  Morgan realized that she’d never told Mom about her disappointment. It seemed so small now compared to everything else. “I tried to sign up too late,” she told her. “But it’s okay.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. But I thought all your socks got sold at the bazaar. Wasn’t that supposed to be your ski trip money?”