"Jordan," he said as I sucked really hard. He liked it when I did that.
"Jamie," I said and brought my lips to his shoulder.
"We can't," he said and gently pushed me away and off him. He stood up, leaving me on the floor, desperately wanting him. I threw the towel on the floor, showing him how much I wanted him. His hand was on the bathroom doorknob, but he didn't move, staring at me. "I...uh...I'll see you downstairs." And then he left. I couldn't believe he left.
Annoyed with Jamie, I threw on a pair of shorts and went back downstairs. Everyone else was outside when I stopped at the stove. I tasted the sauce and added a bit more salt and oregano. It wasn't bad.
Jamie's eyes met mine as I walked onto the porch. "The sauce is done," I said, signaling Tim to start boiling the water for the spaghetti. He got up as I sat down beside Jamie. That woman sat across from us.
"You could have put on a shirt," Jamie whispered to me. Teasing him, I rubbed my bare foot against his leg. "Stop it," he said through gritted teeth. "I swear to God I'm going to kill you," Jamie laughed. That woman stared at us while Jamie and I teased each other. He pushed my shoulder and I pushed him back.
"You guys really like each other, huh?" she said.
"No, I hate him," I said and bit his shoulder playfully. As soon as Tim re-emerged with a bowl of spaghetti, Jamie and I stopped, sitting stoically.
"Are you guys having a good summer?" the woman asked us as my bare foot rubbed against Jamie’s leg. I didn't respond, only staring back at her.
"Yes," Jamie said. "This is a great place. And Jordan's a good host." Tim laughed, flinging a breadstick at him.
"Yeah, a good host," Tim said. "He's kicked you, bit you, spit at you, pushed you in the pool and pond and..."
"Those were just minor incidents," Jamie said.
"You're so weird," Tim said, taking a sip of his wine. "You always were. That's why you became an art teacher, right?"
"There's nothing wrong with being an art teacher," the woman said. "And you're teaching in London this year, right?"
Why did she have to bring that up?
"Uh, yeah," he said. "It's something I always wanted to do. It's a teacher exchange program."
"Oh, so a teacher from London will be taking your place?" she said.
"Yes," Jamie said, quickly glancing at me.
"That's exciting," she said.
The thought of Jamie leaving was too much for me to stomach. Suddenly not feeling well, I stood up, not entirely sure where I was going. My hands shook and I was sweaty all over.
"Hey, are you alright?" Tim asked. "You look kind of pale."
With everyone’s eyes on me, the room spun and my stomach, head, and heart hurt.
"Jordan?" Jamie said, holding my wrist. I'm not sure what happened next, but I woke up on the couch, a cool washcloth on my forehead. As I opened my eyes, I found Jamie sitting on the recliner chair perpendicular to the couch. Tim was sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. The woman was in the room, too, sitting on the other chair. My head pounded like crazy.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You fainted," Tim said.
"Fainted?" I said. As I went to sit up, I was suddenly dizzy again and had to lay back down, too queasy.
"Did you eat anything today?" Tim asked.
"Yeah," I said, massaging my temple.
I just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep and maybe never wake up. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. It all started when Jamie talked about London. My gaze shifted back to Jamie whose stunning blue eyes were on me, clearly worried. I could read him like a book.
“I'm okay," I said. "I guess I just don't feel well. I want to go to bed." Very carefully and slowly, I sat up.
"I'll bring him up," Jamie said. "You can stay down here with Kelly."
"Are you sure?" Tim said.
"Yeah, no problem," he said. Jamie draped my arm over his shoulder and walked me up the stairs. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I think so," I said as confused as everyone else.
Once in my room, Jamie tucked me in and sat down beside me on the bed. He combed his fingers through my hair, which I loved.
"You scared us," he said.
"Do you like David Bowie?" I asked.
"Huh?" he said with a laugh.
"Do you like David Bowie?"
"Yes," he said.
"I like his earlier music. Ziggy Stardust, Starman, Space Oddity. I love Space Oddity," I said, gazing into his eyes. Within seconds, I sang the first line of the song.
Caressing my cheek, his eyes urged me to continue to sing, only to interrupt me with a quick, simple kiss.
Gigantic
Jamie
As I sat on the edge of the bed facing Jordan, he gazed up at me with his dark brown eyes, yearning for something. Just a short while ago, Jordan scared the shit out of everyone the way he went down like that outside on the deck. His head would certainly hurt in the morning.
"Stay with me tonight," Jordan said after his Space Oddity serenade.
"There's not enough room for the two of us in this bed," I said. He scooted over, showing me that there was plenty of room for both of us.
"Or I can stay with you," he said, throwing the covers off him, ready to go with me. “I just want to be with you."
"I know," I said. "But you can't stay with me. Not tonight." I brought the covers back over him. "Knowing Tim, he'll check on you during the night. I'll come in first thing in the morning. I promise. I should go, let you get some sleep." He grabbed my wrist as I was about to get up.
"Don't," he said with pleading eyes. "Just stay for a few more minutes." Making myself comfortable on his bed, I brought an arm around him while he cuddled beside me. I kissed the top of his head, hoping Tim wouldn't walk in. "I can feel your heart beating."
"Is it beating fast or slow?" I asked.
"Medium," he said. With his chin on my chest, he looked up at me, his dark eyes more intense than usual. "Jordan, what's wrong? What are you thinking about?" Pulling away from me, he sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. "Tell me, Jordan. Talk to me."
"Since you've come, things have been different. I mean, I feel different. I don't feel like myself anymore." Hugging his knees to his chest, he rocked back and forth. He looked like a boy instead of a young man.
"Is it a good different or a bad different?" I asked.
"I don't know," he said. "Different. I feel like...I feel like I'll die if you leave me."
Uh-oh. That's a little extreme.
"You won't die," I said. "Anyway, I'm not leaving you. I'm coming back."
"That's what you say," he said.
"And I mean it," I said, stroking the back of his head.
"I feel like...I feel like I'm one half and you're the other half and together we make a whole."
Tears came to my eyes, which I did my best to blink away. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, something that made total sense, something I didn't quite expect to come from Jordan.
Resting his head on his knees, he kept his eyes on me. "No one's ever said anything like that to me in my entire life," I said, pulling his legs away from his chest and straightening them out on the bed. "But I have to say I couldn't agree with you more," I added, sitting on his lap.
Jordan pushed up my t-shirt and kissed my stomach. "I'm not leaving you," I reiterated as he reached all the way up my shirt, rubbing his hands over my nipples.
"Jordan..."
"Jamie..." he said.
"We can't do this right now," I said. "As much as I want to." Despite my warning, I didn't budge because I liked his lips on my stomach and my nipples between his fingers.
Jordan pulled his hands away at the sound of footsteps up the stairs. I knew Tim would check on him sooner or later. He was a good big brother even if he was a little overprotective. I was never a great big brother to my sister, always consumed by own internal drama.
"I'm going to go," I said, scooting off him. Jordan gave me
that look that begged me not to go.
Tim knocked once before entering. Luckily I was already off Jordan and heading toward the door.
"He's okay," I assured Tim. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Jordan curl up under the covers.
"Goodnight," Jordan said.
"Goodnight," I said, briefly making eye contact with him as I left.
***
Tossing and turning in bed, I couldn't sleep, every part of my body yearning to be with Jordan. His skin, his hair, his breath...
"Together we make a whole." Those words reverberated through me.
"Together we make a whole." Again and again.
I couldn't agree more.
Annoyed that I couldn't sleep, I got out of bed and left my room to go to Jordan's room. It was three in the morning so I knew Tim was fast asleep. Jordan was sound asleep, too, in that same position I left him in several hours earlier. Even though the whole house was dark and quiet, I locked the door just to be safe.
I took off my shorts and crawled into bed with him. Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged him to me, resting my chin on his shoulder, breathing deeply against his neck. This was where I belonged. Stirring slightly, he placed his hands over mine.
"Jamie," he whispered.
"Jordan," I whispered back. Kissing the side of his neck, I elicited a deep sigh from him. "Do you want me?" I whispered in his ear.
"Yes," he said sleepily.
"Good...because I really want you," I said. "Even though it's three in the morning. Is that okay? We can wait until morning if you want."
"It is morning," he said, sliding my hands down his front, becoming more and more awake by the second.
"You know what I mean," I said. He pushed his shorts down, eventually kicking them off.
"I'm ready," he said. "I can tell that you are, too."
My hand roamed up and down his backside. He moaned with the slightest, gentlest touch.
"Ssh," I said as he groaned while I attempted to get inside him. "Ssh," I said again. "Does it hurt?"
"I'm okay," he said, which didn't really answer my question. "Don't," he said as I was about to pull out. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. "No. It's good."
As I pushed further in him, he turned his head, searching for my lips. Quickly finding them, he moaned into my mouth. We kissed hard, muffling each others' sounds. Hungry for more, he twisted around, forcing me to release him. He liked being on top of me, riding me.
"Ssh," I muttered against his lips as he pushed down on me, moaning even louder, enjoying it way too much. "Ssh..."
"You shoosh," he said back to me. He didn't do bad for someone who just woke up in the middle of the night. In fact, he was absolutely amazing. He held on to my sides, slowly shifting up and down. Jordan suddenly cried out, perhaps loud enough for the whole house to hear.
"Ssh," I laughed, covering his mouth with my hand. I held my hand over his mouth until I knew he was done. He pinched my sides, his body trembling, pinching so hard I was sure he'd leave some bruises.
"I love you," I whispered against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, hugging me to him.
"Stay with me tonight," he said. "All night."
"Yeah, yeah," I said. I really had no intention of leaving, anyway.
Jordan fell asleep in my arms and was still there when the sun rose, curled up and naked beside me, all the covers on the floor. His arm was draped across my chest, his head on my shoulder. For once I woke up before he did. Stirring, he stretched, straightening his legs next to mine, extending his arms over his head and back down again.
"No one's slept in my bed before," he said sleepily, his eyes still closed.
"You asked me to stay so I stayed," I said. "I haven't slept in a bed like this since college." He pressed his head against my chest. "I'm in so much trouble," I said, combing my fingers through his hair.
"Why?" he yawned.
"Because I'm so in love with you," I said. "Being this in love scares me."
"Yeah," he said as if he knew what I meant. "I'm not going to die, you know. Gavin died, right? That's his name...Gavin?"
"Yeah, Gavin," I said, sitting up. As he lay in bed on his side, his fingers trailed up my back.
"I'm not Gavin," he said.
"Yeah, I know," I said. Our eyes remained fixed for a minute.
"Will you help me get a passport?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject, which was a good thing because I didn't want to talk about Gavin.
I looked down at him while he stroked my lower back, circling my tailbone.
"Today?"
"Sure," he said. "I wanna visit you in London. Tim won't like it, but it's not up to him."
"I would love it if you visited me. I would really, really love it."
Jordan got off the bed and sat on the floor with the shoebox in his lap, Anthony, the frog's makeshift home. Jordan opened the cover to get a look at his new pet frog.
"Is he still alive?" I asked. He looked up at me with his big chocolate brown eyes. They seemed a little sad. I really hoped Anthony was still alive. Jordan once told me that all of his pet frogs died on him.
Jordan jumped to his feet, his hands cupped together. He abruptly lunged at me, shoving the stupid frog in my face, scaring the crap out of me while he laughed uncontrollably in a fit of giggles.
"Ha, ha," I said. "Very funny."
He laughed so hard he was practically in tears. I kissed him in-between his giggles. In the midst of all his laughter and kisses, the frog leaped out of his hands.
"Oh shit," Jordan exclaimed. "Oh no...get him..."
"I'm not touching that thing," I said and found myself amused at watching Jordan run around his room trying to catch his frog.
"Oh no...Tim's going to kill me if I can't find him," he said, slithering under his bed. "Oh wow. It's really dusty under here," he commented. "Oh...wait...there he is..." He scooted back out, holding the frog in his hand. He could be so completely and utterly innocent and child-like at times.
"I should let him go," he said. "Right? I should let him go. He's going to die if I keep him in that shoebox. Yeah, I'm going to let him go." Holding the frog, he ran out of the room and down the stairs.
"Wait!" I called to him. He was still naked, but didn't seem to care. I pulled on my shorts, grabbed his and ran after him. He sprinted naked through the woods and to the pond. From the distance I heard a yelp. It was more like a shriek, followed by a series of obscenities. I ran faster, finding Jordan face first on the ground, a rotting log the culprit of his fall.
"Are you alright?" I asked, crouching down in front of him. He slowly rolled over and sat up.
"Aww, shit," he said again, examining his cut up bloody knees and legs streaked with red and brown. He didn't seem to notice that he was still naked and sitting in the dirt and leaves in the middle of the woods. His arms were also cut up. "That's disgusting,” he said, getting a good look at his elbows. His forgotten shorts seemed to be the least of his problems at the moment.
"You forgot these," I said, handing him his shorts. His face turned redder than it already was. He slipped them on and stumbled to his feet. He wobbled a little as he took a few steps. "Did you hurt your ankle?" I asked.
"No," he said. "I don't think so." He still limped as he headed out of the woods, blood trickling down the back of his arms. He was too stubborn to accept my assistance. Instead, he limped all the way back to the house and up the stairs to the bathroom.
"Those are some nasty cuts," I said, getting a closer look at his bashed arms and legs in the bathroom. "Why don't you take a shower? Clean them out. I'll come with you if you want."
As I washed his hair, he seemed miles away, staring at the shower floor. "What are you thinking about?" I asked, styling his hair into the shape of a mohawk.
"Is it hard to get a passport?" he asked.
"No," I said. "You only need an original birth certificate. You have one of those, right?" He shrugged. "You're not an illegal immigrant, are you?" He shot me a look tha
t said "shut up."
"What do you want to do today besides apply for a passport?" He ran a finger around my cock, so I knew what he wanted to do. "Uh...Jordan, you always want to do that. As much as I like doing that, what else do you want to do?"
"I don't know," he said, wrapping his hand around my growing hard on.
"Jordan..."
"Jamie," he said against my lips. "Hiking maybe? We can go hiking. Maybe."
"Yeah, sure," I said, swallowing hard. "Hiking..." He withdrew his hand and hugged me, burying his face in my neck. He stayed like that for a few minutes, not moving, just hugging me. "I've never known anyone like you," I said.
"You're not like most of Tim's friends," he said, running a hand down my arm. He kissed the side of my neck again.
"You're driving me crazy, you know that?" I said, grabbing a clump of his hair, pulling his head back. Suds trickled down the sides of his face as we gazed into each others' eyes.
I turned him around, pushing his head forward to get all the shampoo out. With his head tilted down, his head bobbed to a song in his head. I knew any minute he'd start to sing. And I let him sing, not joining in, combing my fingers through his wet curls.
All the suds washed out of his hair, pooling around the drain while I listened to Jordan's rendition of the Pixies' Gigantic. He sounded too good and pure, too much for me to interrupt.
People Have the Power
Jamie
Holding a towel around his waist, Jordan limped back to his room. Band aids plastered his knees and forearms.
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, more fixated on applying for a passport than anything else. "I think I know where my birth certificate might be," he said, pulling on a pair of shorts. He nearly tumbled over as he did it, not too steady on that foot. He threw on a Joy Division t-shirt and limped out of his room.
After I got dressed, I found him in a room that I had yet to be in; the door was always closed. I soon realized it was father's office. Bookcases surrounded the walls, all overflowing with scientific books. A computer sat on the desk with two tall file cabinets beside it. There were several framed diplomas or achievements of sorts on the wall, including degrees from Harvard, MIT, and the University of Oxford, among others. About a third of one bookcase were books written by Dr. Arthur Cameron.
A Not So Typical Love Page 15