by Tara Brown
I nodded again. “Look, Servario, Coop is just helping those kids and meeting me back home.”
He crawled over me, pushing me back on the bed with a light shove. “Did you truly mean what you said to me about La La Land?”
“Yeah. I truly meant I love you. I do, even if you’re complicated and you live in a disturbing world.”
“We live in the same world, Evie.”
I shook my head, staring up into his dark eyes. “No, we don't. In my world I would have saved those kids. I never could have drank down the hallway from that. You walked past it, you didn't care.” I sat up, shoving him off of me. I turned and climbed off the bed, running from the room. I didn't care that I was in my underwear and tank top. I didn't care that I had no shoes on. I didn't care. I just ran.
When I got to the elevator I pushed the button rapidly. As the door opened I went to step in but he rushed me, pushing me in with him. He spun me around and pinned me against the wall as the doors closed. The light in the shitty elevator was dim and flickering.
He seethed into my face. “I cared. I cared, goddammit. I cared in a way you can’t imagine. I sit next to those fucks, I tolerate their bullshit because I have to tell myself every single one of those kids is one soul and I have to save millions.” I could hear his voice cracking. It sounded the way my heart did. “I care. I care about you. I have loved you my whole life and I have to live with the fact you are with him. You are safe with him. Why do you think I don't fight for you, Evie?” He stripped my tank top from my body with a single tug. His face dipped, landing on my nipple with ferocity. He licked and sucked, pushing me into the wall as the elevator sat, frozen there on the same floor.
“I let him have you, I let him love you. You are his because he keeps you safe, Evie. That's one way I can keep you safe.” He dropped to his knees, dragging my underwear to the side and burying his warm mouth between my legs. He licked, sliding a finger up inside of me. The light flickered off and on and I wasn't certain if it was my eyelids or the actual lights.
His fingers slid in and out of me as his tongue flicked my clit. I gripped to the wall, clutching to the support handle.
He pulled back, pummeling his finger in and out harder, making my knees nearly buckle. “This is mine, Evie. You are mine.”
He stood, lifting me into the air while tearing my underwear off. I rested against the wall, seated on the handle. He wrestled with his buckle and pants for a moment as we explored each other’s mouths, gripping to each other with desperation.
When he released himself, he plunged into me instantly. We both moaned, filling the quiet elevator with noise. His thrusting echoed off the walls, bouncing my body. In the flashing light I caught a glimpse of our bodies writhing and bumping against each other. His hands cupped to my ass. He spun me around, holding me in the air. I planted my feet on the railing on the wall and let him rock me up and down on his cock. I gripped to him, pushing with my legs, desperate for the orgasm I had been denied for forty-eight straight hours.
“I need you, Evie. I need you in my life.” He pulled me into him, gripping and grunting into the silence.
My body riding his began to clench down as his fingers bit in. We came at the exact same moment, gripping and sweating.
He thrust harder for the last few strokes, jerking into me as I quivered over him.
He pushed the open button on the elevator and walked us back down the hall to my hotel room. The door was ajar still so he just walked in, closing it and leaning against the door. He let me slide down him, but still gripped to me. “Let’s take a shower, Evie. I adore our showers.” He led me to the bathroom, closing the door and starting the hot water so we could rinse off everything—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When we got into bed he held me but even there in the safety of our La La Land, I could see their faces. I could feel the hot blood running down my fingertips. I could see all the levels of sin in the world in color. Joining that horrid imagery was the knowledge we would go back to the real world tomorrow and this would end. This bliss of true love would be over and I would have to face my feelings, my fears.
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, letting him hold me in that place built on the lies we had told ourselves.
I woke, confused but grateful to see my room. Luce smiled at me, from the chair in the corner. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “Hey, what happened?”
She shrugged. “What do you remember?”
I thought back to the last thing I recalled—the jet with Servario and the red dress was it. Everything else was a haze. “Oh shit, did Servario drug me? How did I get here?”
She nodded, sighing. “He took your memories with some drug. He said it was better for both of you.”
I swallowed hard, wondering what in the hell he had talked me into that I needed to forget. I gave Luce a look. “Where’s Coop?”
She paled a little, looking down. “Dealing with the brothel you raided in Dubai.”
It hit me then, Servario and I hadn’t had sex. I had seen something he knew I needed to be rid of. I smiled at Luce, confused but oddly grateful I didn't know what she was talking about.
There were things I didn't need to remember. I had a bad feeling some of the things I did need were gone with the rubble.
But in the end I knew I would continue to be greedy, needing him and Coop. Not equally, but it didn't matter, I would let them fill the void inside of me. Because I knew I was that type of greedy—I was the worst kind, the sort of person who filled their emptiness with lies they told themselves were truths.
The End.
Don't hesitate to buy the first and second books already released in the Single Lady Spy Series.
The End of Me
The End of Games