by Alison Stone
"You think it was intentional?" She swallowed hard.
"Well, at the very least, I'm going to have to analyze our storage system to make sure this never happens again."
Part of her felt like he was just humoring her. She liked him even more for it. She wanted with all her heart to believe that Abby's murder was a tragic case of wrong place, wrong time, and the rest of the incidences here in Hunters Ridge were just bad luck.
Really bad luck.
Violet tapped her laptop, feeling foolish. "Perhaps I better stay behind my computer where I'm unlikely to hurt myself."
Theo took a step closer. "This is not your fault."
His words sounded familiar. Everyone had told her the same thing when Abby was killed. Yet, at some point she had to take responsibility for the mess her life was in.
And responsibility for her part in dragging Abby away from the safety of Hunters Ridge.
But how? She couldn't reverse time. Bring Abby back.
Her emotions welled in her gut and she willed them back. Maybe she needed to look for the faith she had lost. Maybe then she'd rediscover the life she was meant to live.
It had worked before.
Voices sounded outside the trailer. She stood and pulled back the blind to look out, mostly so she could hide her face from Theo. A white van idled while the Amish workers climbed in.
"Quitting time already?" Violet asked. "I hadn't realized it was that late." A man climbing in turned around and stared at the trailer.
Elmer Graber. Abby's brother.
She grew dizzy.
He hopped into the back of the van before she had a chance to look at his shoes. Was he wearing expensive sneakers like the forklift driver?
She yanked on the door, but couldn't open it fast enough. She had to check.
"What's wrong?" Theo asked, coming up behind her.
"Elmer Graber's outside."
Theo's eyes flared wide. “He doesn’t work here. Are you sure it was him?”
“Yes, yes, I’m sure.”
Theo yanked open the door and Violet slipped out past him. A sharp wind slapped her face as the red brake lights went out and the van turned left onto the main road.
Chapter 10
Violet drummed her fingers on the thighs of her jeans, anxiously watching the markers on the side of the country road as Theo raced toward the Grabers' house.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she whispered. The closer they got, the more her panic ramped up, thus her intense focus on the mile markers. They were a distraction. “We need to find Elmer. I need to check out his sneakers.” Had he been behind the forklift accident? Elmer blamed Violet for taking her sister away from the Amish community. The hatred in his eyes pressed heavy on her lungs. She blinked and the image of Abby's vacant eyes stared up at her from the kitchen floor. If Abby had never met Violet, she'd still be alive today. Biting her bottom lip, Violet wiggled in her seat and cleared her throat.
“I should probably call the sheriff’s department. Have them meet us there,” Theo said calmly.
Violet rubbed her lips together, giving his suggestion some thought. Had she made a huge leap just because she saw Elmer hop into a van shortly after she was almost crushed by the weight of a play set? "Let's just go ourselves."
"You're doubting yourself."
"I don't have any proof. It could be a coincidence.” She shifted in her seat to get a better look at Theo. "Has Elmer Graber ever taken that van home before?"
He gave her a quick sideways glance, then returned his gaze to the road. "I wouldn't know. He doesn't work for us, but his sister does. Maybe he caught a ride out of convenience. The driver's not picking up his phone, which is good, I suppose. He has strict instructions not to use his cell phone while driving."
She nodded, but didn't say anything.
Theo reached across and took her hand and squeezed it. "You are not responsible for Abigail Graber's death," he said as if reading her mind. "She wanted a different life. You and your mother provided that for her."
"But if she hadn't left…" Her lungs and throat ached. She turned her focus to the warm touch of his hand and a blanket of calm covered her. "Thanks for…" She stumbled to come up with the right word. "Thanks for listening to me and taking me to the Grabers. I'm not sure what we'll uncover, but if anything, it will give me peace of mind."
"Absolutely." He dragged his thumb across the back of her hand, sending tingles of awareness coursing up her arm that had nothing to do with her anxiety. "If someone's messing around in my warehouse, I want to know about it. And put a stop to it.”
Violet let her gaze go blurry as the fields whizzed by. At one point, Theo gave a wide berth to a horse and buggy making its way along the side of the road. When Violet first got her driver’s license as a teenager, she used to hold her breath when passing a horse and buggy. She was terrified of having a collision and hurting the beautiful animal.
"Here we are." Theo's announcement startled Violet out of her thoughts. He pulled his hand from hers and turned into the Grabers’ rutted driveway.
Violet dragged a hand through her hair and it got caught on a knot. "Why am I bothering the Grabers? Have I become that paranoid little girl again?"
"You aren't paranoid. Let's talk to Elmer. Cross him off the list. Or not."
"I hate this feeling, wondering if I can trust myself."
"I trust you." He stared at her for a long minute, rendering her momentarily speechless. She was so used to her mother’s kneejerk reaction of dismissing her that she didn’t know how to respond to acceptance. "You ready?" he asked, a quizzical look in his warm brown eyes.
Why can’t I find a guy like this in New York?
“Because you’re too busy working when you’re not driving yourself mad over pretend stalkers,” came a voice in her head eerily reminiscent of her mother’s.
"Ready as I'll ever be," she muttered as she slid out of the truck, a twinge rippling up her ankle. She quickly forgot about her injury as they got closer to the Grabers’ front door. Apparently sensing her unease, Theo reached back and took Violet's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Her heart was nearly beating out of her chest and his hand provided a lifeline. An anchor.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," she whispered, her knees feeling like jelly.
Theo brushed a soft kiss across her knuckles, taking her mind off her ramping anxiety. She didn't have time to process the kiss before he lifted his hand to knock. Footsteps sounded inside. Lorianne appeared and despite the temperatures, she had bare feet poking from underneath her pale blue dress.
"Mr. Cooper?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Violet."
"Sorry to bother you at home," Theo said. "Violet and I need to talk to your brother."
A male voice hollered from the back of the house. "Who's at the door?"
"It's Mr. Cooper from work."
Mr. Graber appeared in the doorway leading to the kitchen. His unkempt beard hung to the middle of his chest. His eyes had the hollow look of someone who had lost much.
Because of me.
She wondered if he knew who she was. Despite being best friends with his daughter, their relationship didn't allow for Violet to meet Abby’s family, other than a quick goodbye between Abby and her younger siblings.
Don't think of that. Not now.
"Can we help you?" His weary gaze drifted from Theo to Violet, who was standing slightly behind him.
"Is Elmer home?" Theo asked.
"He's doing some chores before dinner." He cleared his throat. "What's this about?"
Mrs. Graber appeared, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, her hair neatly pulled back and swept up under her white bonnet. An image of what Abby might have looked like twenty years from now, had she lived, flashed in Violet's mind and pained her heart, making any words impossible.
"Hello, Mrs. Graber. We came to see your son," Theo said.
"Why is she here again?" Mrs. Graber's voice was barely audible, but the venom in it was unmi
stakable.
Mr. Graber turned to his wife, his eyes narrowing. "What is it, Lucy? Who is she?"
She dropped the dishtowel to her side. "This is the woman who took our Abigail."
Any words Violet might have spoken got trapped in the emotions clogging her throat.
"We came to see Elmer," Theo pressed.
"He's in the barn," Lorianne whispered.
"Thank you." Theo turned around and placed a hand on the small of Violet's back. He leaned in and whispered, "Let's go."
She looked up at him, her doubts crowding in on her. She had no right to bother the Grabers, but Theo had taken charge. He slipped his hand into hers, forcing her to continue on this path. They went outside and hustled across the hard-packed earth toward the barn.
The pungent smell assaulted Violet before they reached the barn. Abby had told her she loved working at the big house on the hill because everything was so clean. She shared stories of mucking the stalls and feeding the pigs and hating every minute of it. Elmer used to bully his sisters into doing his chores so he could sneak off, even though he was barely a teenager.
Abby had wanted so much more from life, and Violet was her ticket out of Hunters Ridge.
Violet took shallow breaths, trying to stay calm and not get too big a whiff of the farm. She glanced over her shoulder, hearing voices from the house. It seemed Mr. and Mrs. Graber were debating running out there to stop them. She grabbed Theo's arm. "Maybe we should go."
"Hold on."
They slowed as they entered the barn. It took a minute for her to adjust to the lighting in the barn. A row of pigs ate at the trough.
The stench was strong, and Violet decided right then and there that she'd never eat bacon again.
Elmer stepped out of the shadows with a huge bucket, and a disinterested look on his face. Without acknowledging them, he dumped a bucket of slop into the trough and took a step back. He slammed down the bucket and lifted his eyes to hers. A chill skittered up her spine and the walls of the barn closed in on her. Tiny dots danced in her eyes.
"Elmer Graber?" Theo asked.
"Yah."
"I'm Theo Cooper and this is—"
"I know who that is."
"We noticed you caught a ride in the van from the lumberyard."
Elmer lifted his eyebrow as if to say, So what?
"The van is for my employees."
The young Amish man tilted his head. "What? You come to collect the fare?" A harsh laugh escaped his lips. The entire time he spoke, he kept his eyes on her.
Violet squared her shoulders and her mother's advice floated to mind. Never let them see you sweat, sweetie.
"That's not it." Theo made a move toward him and Elmer's brow furrowed.
"I caught a ride, that's all. I work at the cheese factory in town. Sometimes I use the van your company provides."
"I have no problem with that."
"What is it, man?" His words carried the slight lilt of Pennsylvania Dutch. Even after spending her high school years here, Violet only knew a handful of words of the Amish language. The fact that the language survived all these years shouldn’t have surprised Violet considering how committed the Amish were to staying separate.
Violet touched Theo's arm, wanting a chance to speak before the conversation took a wrong turn. "I saw you and thought maybe you were looking for me." She watched his reaction carefully. "Perhaps you wanted to talk."
"I said all I need to say to you when you came out here the other day. I want nothing to do with you. You ruined my family."
The words "I'm sorry" got lodged in her throat. She had already apologized and this was not a man looking for an apology.
She took a step to the right, to see his feet. Her heart sank. His shoes were covered in mud from the pigpens. She couldn't tell if they were the same shoes she saw the forklift driver wearing. She glanced at Theo and shook her head slightly.
Elmer glanced down at his feet, his eyes hidden by the brim of his hat.
"We shouldn't have bothered you." Violet turned to leave.
"Hey," Elmer shouted after them. "I take that shuttle home because I need to look after Lorianne. I promised my mem and dat that I would."
Theo nodded. "Sorry to have bothered you."
Once they were on the road again, Theo turned to Violet. “Do you think it could have been Elmer on the forklift?”
The weight of recent events weighed heavily on her chest. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”
“We’ll report the incident to Olivia. We’ll find out who did this.”
Violet made a sound that suggested she wasn’t so sure. “I came back to Hunters Ridge because I thought I’d be safe like I was in high school. What if whoever killed Abby has followed me here?”
“No one knows your mother owns this property, right?”
“No, except for a few of the local residents.”
“You know, you never told me why your mom chose Hunters Ridge to begin with," Theo said, no doubt sensing she needed a distraction. "How does a person who splits their time between New York and Los Angeles find a house here? It’s pretty remote."
"Once my mother’s frustration level with my panic attacks reached her limit, she knew she had to do something with me.” She frowned. "I was cramping her style. I refused to get on a plane. I wouldn't leave the apartment. The pediatrician said a lot of kids have panic attacks when they go through puberty." She shrugged. "I was at that age and I was convinced I had a stalker." Violet shook her head. "My mother joked with an assistant that she wished she could find someplace that didn't have paparazzi, where we could get away from it all. Turns out, her assistant used to drive through Hunters Ridge on her way home to Buffalo from New York City and had admired the house. Some bigwig in the cable TV industry had built the home before getting convicted of embezzlement. The house was empty, my mom wanted a getaway and that's how I ended up in here."
"That's pretty random."
"Life seems that way sometimes." She stared at the black snow on the side of the road. Temperatures were going to get warmer and it would melt, but they had a long winter ahead of them. "Initially I felt abandoned because my mother never came here as often as she promised. But Betty Weaver was the best thing that happened to me. She has a way of grounding me." Having said that aloud, Violet realized something that deep down she knew, but had forgotten: Betty lived her life simply. She had left her Amish roots, but continued to dress in clothes that weren’t flashy, she didn’t acquire stuff, and she seemed to enjoy each moment whether she was cooking or doing cross-stitch. Violet should take a lesson from her.
"Life has a way of working out sometimes." Theo smiled, but kept his eyes on the road. A warmth spread through her heart.
How was her life meant to work out? She wished she knew.
Maybe Violet's goal of getting over her panic so she could jump back into her old life was misguided. Maybe she needed to slow down and enjoy the moment. Her gaze drifted down to Theo's hand entwined with hers. Maybe her old life wasn't where her future stood.
She glanced at the fields passing by. Could she stay here long-term? Wouldn't she get bored? What about her mother? Jacque claimed she needed her daughter working for her. And Violet liked making her mom proud.
Chapter 11
For the second night in a row, Violet woke up in the throes of a panic attack—shortness of breath, dizziness, tingling fingers. The walls of her bedroom growing closer. Suffocating. It took a few long, anxious moments for her to recognize where she was. To realize she was safe.
For now.
She had spent all of yesterday curled up by the fireplace with a good book and tea, hoping she'd be able to relax and forget about the mess her life had become. And alternating between thinking her stalker had returned or perhaps Elmer Graber was out for revenge.
Lying flat on the bed, she stared at white lines stretched across the ceiling from the glowing moon. Falling back asleep didn't seem likely. She couldn't turn off her brain.
&nbs
p; Yesterday, she had placed a call to the detective in charge of Abby's murder case in New York City. No arrests, but they had picked up a guy last week out on the fire escape of a neighboring building. They speculated that the murderer had gained entry to her apartment through the fire escape. However, last week's guy was a Peeping Tom. Nothing more. The detective said there was no link, but the implication was simply that crime happens in a big city.
There was still no proof Violet had been the target. The only way they'd get that was when—if—they ever arrested someone.
Sweat pooled under her arms so Violet kicked off the covers as the walls heaved and groaned, threatening to close in on her. The air cooled her sweat-slicked skin, bringing her back to the moment.
She feared her life was never going to be bigger than sleepy little Hunters Ridge. Her mother had warned her not to be one of those people afraid to live their lives. Jacque Caldwell came from nothing and became something. Violet had been reminded her whole life that she had it so much easier than Jacque had it growing up and she was now squandering her birthright because of silly fear.
Silly fear.
No one who suffered from panic attacks would ever call them silly. Violet knew her symptoms were a creation of her overactive imagination. That her fears were mostly irrational. But anxiety was not a logical master.
Could she ever be content—happy—if her world had truly shrunk down to the thirty-three square miles that comprised Hunters Ridge and its immediate surroundings?
Her mind drifted to the bottle in her coat pocket, then quickly dismissed it. She wanted to do this on her own.
An empty feeling expanded inside her and she rolled over and stuffed her hand under her pillow to plump it, and stared at the shade covering the window. A corner was bent, allowing moonlight in.
What am I going to do? Even forcing herself to do things that triggered her panic had yet to make her immune to it. So much for the cognitive behavior therapy that had worked for her during high school. Now, her battle with anxiety felt like two steps forward, three steps back. Instead of getting better, she was getting worse. She buried her face in the pillow and tried to ignore the knot in her stomach.