by Melina Grace
Caris sensed, more than heard the person approaching her from the direction of the camp. Turning around she wasn’t surprised to see Janen. Though she was sure there were others in the band who could move as quietly, she knew Janen’s specific brand of quietness. “Mind if I join you? Or have you had enough of my nattering for one day?” he asked.
Caris laughed, “Yeh, cause you natter!” Both of them knew that though he could speak freely enough when he had something to say, he was generally more of a listener than a talker. Janen smiled and sat down beside her. Caris was surprised that he chose to share her rock, which was just big enough for the two of them, rather than finding his own, but was glad for the extra warmth.
“I was worried about you, for a few days there,” he said. She looked up at him. “How are you doing?” he asked. After a moment, Caris found herself talking about her family and how much she missed them. She avoided mentioning her deep regret at not having saved her mother. Though that was foremost in her mind, she did not want to influence Janen’s opinion against herself. He listened attentively.
Finally, when she began to run dry he shared similar feelings of loss about his own family. “I wish you could’ve known them better, you would have loved them”.
“Well, even if the derks never came, I guess I never would’ve really had much time with them, our families never really had much to do with each other, did they?” she asked lightly, turning to him. She was surprised to find a hurt expression on his face.
“No, I guess not.” He croaked out, turning to look down the river in the other direction. Confused, Caris sat staring at the water herself until finally Janen broke the silence. “They’re going to start training me as a scout tomorrow.”
Happy for him, Caris exclaimed, “Oh, I knew they would. You’ll make a great scout!” She surprised herself by throwing her arms around his neck in a congratulatory hug. She was about to let go when his arms enfolded her and pulled her close. He held her for a few heartbeats, then, slowly letting go of her, he rose to his feet saying in a husky voice,
“I need to get some sleep. It’s going to be a big day for me tomorrow.” Caris watched him as he walked away.
Caris sat, staring at the water in confusion. She could make no sense at all of Janen’s strange behaviour. However, what she found more disturbing was the longing that welled up in her when Janen held her. Her dad had often sat her on his knee and hugged her as they all sat around the fire of an evening telling stories, but neither those nor her mother’s quick hugs had ever made her feel like this one had. She had had to force herself to let go when he pulled away.
Gradually, she admitted to herself that she admired Janen more than a friend should. She kicked herself for a fool. No wonder he left in such a hurry, he must’ve been embarrassed for her. Getting up, she moved back to camp, determined to distract herself from her hopeless thoughts. She would squash these feelings now before she was forced to watch Janen in love with a beautiful woman worthy of him. She would not embarrass herself again, she would keep his friendship, and she would befriend his love.
Getting back to camp, Caris found everyone already settled in their rolls. She glanced over to where Janen lay with the men. She was surprised to find him looking at her. She looked away quickly and headed over to her roll amongst the women. Not bothering to undress, Caris climbed under her blanket determined to have a good night’s sleep and begin tomorrow in a saner frame of mind. Sleep was a long time coming, however, and repeatedly she found herself remembering the feel of Janen’s strong arms around her, his chest pressed against hers, his warm breath against her neck.
CHAPTER FOUR
They rode into the prosperous village late in the afternoon. It was three days since they had left the children and elderly behind, but they were still fresh in Caris’ thoughts. She was tired and sore after their hard riding and she was grateful for an early stop. Caris looked down at her travel worn clothes and wondered again when she would be assigned a uniform. Though she had washed her clothes in the river when she had opportunity, she had sore need of something new to wear.
She had hoped to buy clothes on her journey but she knew they wouldn’t be stopping long enough to have anything made up. Caris looked enviously over at Bonny’s perfect uniform. The silky material resisted all stains and always appeared fresh. Bonny, noticing what she was looking at smiled in commiseration, “You’ll get one when you meet The King”. Caris sighed; at least she could change into the simple dress she had brought with her and wash her clothes properly with hot water and soap.
They set up camp on the north end of the village and, leaving Bonny, Tilda, Bek, and two of the other young men behind, they wandered into the village square. Caris was glad she had changed into her dress, though she felt more out of place with the rest of the band still in their riding uniforms, at least she felt fresh and presentable for the feast the villagers were preparing for them. She looked around with a smile as the villagers bustled joyfully, getting everything ready.
Her stomach growled when she saw the large eppet lying dead by the fire waiting to be roasted. Fresh roast meat! I can’t believe it’s been almost two weeks since I’ve had fresh meat. They must’ve had luck to bring that down just as we were arriving. Eppet’s are a large swift herbivorous animal, sleek and beautiful with short lavender fur, they are gentle but wild and impossible to tame, very difficult to hunt but worth the effort for the tenderness of their meat.
Knowing it would be a couple of hours before it would be cooked, Caris dragged her eyes away to watch the other preparations. The women were bringing blankets with fresh rolls, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and taro wrapped in big green leaves to cook in sand around the fire. Children were running everywhere, laughing and playing chase. Watching them, tears came to Caris’ eyes. It was hard to believe that all her village’s children were dead. They would’ve played the same game and had the same excitement if The King’s Horse had passed through our village, she thought sadly.
She looked over at Janen; he too was watching the children. She allowed herself to watch him while the children had his attention. It had been two days since he had talked to her. He had begun his scout training and was gone with Tilda and Bek for most of every day, in the evenings he was tired and hadn’t sought her out as he had often done in the past.
It surprised Caris how much she could miss him in such a short time. She realised that her feelings towards him had grown a lot stronger over the last ten days, and though bent on squashing them into an appropriate affection, she was equally convinced that she never wanted to lose his friendship.
As if he could sense her attention, Janen lifted his head and looked straight at her. Feeling caught out, Caris blushed; Janen didn’t smile or look away but continued to stare at her as if in challenge. Caris felt her heart swell at his intensity; tears pricked her eyes with the knowledge that he would never be hers. She was thankful he was too far away to notice them. Finally, he shook his head as if relenting and, with a small smile to himself, started to walk over to her.
Caris went back to watching the children and tried to blink her eyes clear while she waited for him. “How you doin?” He asked, stopping a couple of paces from her.
“Good, it’s nice to be in a village,” she replied, flashing him what she hoped was a casual smile. “How do you like scouting?”
He shrugged “It’s good.” He replied, “it’s not that different to what we used to do. It’s good though.” He repeated as if trying to convince himself. “Tilda is really amazing; she has been teaching me heaps of stuff. I guess I’m good at noticing things but she’s teaching me what to notice and what they mean.”
Caris looked away, suddenly wanting to change the subject. “I noticed you watching the children,” she said nodding toward them. He didn’t reply, causing her to look back at him. He just kept staring at her as if trying to work something out. Caris shifted her feet uncomfortably; she was trying to think of a new topic of conversation when someone started
playing a sitar. With cries of excitement, couples formed up all over the square and started dancing.
Thankful to have something else to look at, Caris noticed some of The King’s Horse dancing too and, with surprise, saw Jispri racing two other young men to be the first to ask Kalen. She laughed good-naturedly as they fell in a friendly tussle at her feet, and then turned to Syngar, who she had been talking with, and went to dance with him. Caris frowned perplexed; maybe they had a bet to see who could get to her first, she thought, shrugging it off.
To her surprise Janen was suddenly at her elbow, “want to dance?” he asked nonchalantly.
“Of course,” she replied, trying to pull off a mixture of casual excitement. As they swung each other around amidst the cheers of other dancers to the fast-paced music, Caris and Janen began to relax with each other and the next couple of hours flew by as they laughed and joked and forgot their cares for a while.
When the food was cooked and mugs of ale handed round, Caris and Janen joined Kalen, Syngar, and some of the others to eat. The roasted eppet was beautiful and Caris managed to wolf down two servings until her stomach felt like it would explode. The ale was bitter to Caris’ unaccustomed tongue and she only managed half a mug.
She had begun to look around for water when Crispin rose to thank the villagers. He thanked them for their food and an evening of good fun, spoke of what a privilege it was to enjoy their hospitality and how he hoped to be able to stop there for longer one day. He spoke of their need for haste as they were on The King’s business and alluded to the poor village the band had stopped at three days ride to the north. He soon concluded his speech, wrapped up with thanks, and got down from the small platform.
“That’s not all he’s going to say!” Janen exploded at Syngar.
“The rest will be said to the village leaders,” Syngar replied, making pacifying gestures with his hands.
“He told them he would try to line up help for them,” Janen retorted.
“He will Janen, he will try to persuade the people who actually make the decisions around here.”
Janen relaxed back, but his light mood was gone. Caris put her plate down and made herself comfortable, though she was happy to be on good terms with Janen again, she too was concerned about the plight of the villagers to their north. She couldn’t help comparing the carefree playfulness of the children here with the hungry eyes of the other children. She felt hopeful though, that once Crispin had informed the village leaders of the situation, these hospitable people would not hesitate to bring them in.
She watched Crispin as he withdrew with a group of twenty men and women; to her surprise Janen stood and started heading in their direction. Syngar smirked as he watched him go, but jumped when Kalen elbowed him in the ribs. “What?” he asked.
“Go with him.” Kalen ordered in her mellow voice.
“But I’m comfortable here, he doesn’t need me to help him get into trouble” Syngar replied with a laugh.
“Go!” Kalen ordered again, pushing him to his feet. With a melodramatic sigh, Syngar mimed dragging himself up, though in truth he was one of the most nimble men Caris had ever seen, surprising for someone only a few years off two-score. He moved through the crowd like a fish sliding through water. Catching up with Janen easily, he headed him off before Janen walked into the middle of the leader’s circle. Caris continued to watch as Syngar manoeuvred him to an unobtrusive spot where they could sit and listen unobserved.
After a short while watching them, Caris realised that Kalen was watching her. Caris turned to see a small smile playing on her lips. “You like him”.
“Well of course, he’s my best friend,” Caris replied.
“You’re in love with him”.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Caris replied, offended that Kalen, who should have understood her, was instead poking fun at her.
“What’s so ridiculous?” Kalen asked genuinely confused.
“You know Janen would never go for someone as ugly as me, I know I will never marry. I have no unrealistic expectations of my friendship with Janen.”
“Well that’s a shame,” Kalen laughed, “because he sure does. Caris you are not ugly. I don’t know who told you that you are, but it’s not true. You are beautiful.” Caris stared at Kalen, trying to find the mocking or teasing look that should have been there, but Kalen appeared to be completely sincere. She has to believe I’m beautiful so she can believe it of herself, Caris realised. She chose not to argue with her and instead went back to watching the villagers, careful not to let her eyes stray to Janen.
The conversation with the leaders was surprisingly short, though Caris couldn’t hear what was being said she could see who was talking and how people were reacting. Crispin spoke for a short while at first, to the increasing frowns of those around him. When he was finished the elders began to argue, initially with Crispin who sat quietly listening to them and then with each other. After a while, they calmed themselves down enough to listen to Crispin again, he spoke longer this time and when he was finished, the elders seemed mollified.
She noticed Janen who, with clenched fists and jaw, was threatening to burst into the midst of the group again while Syngar tried to speak him down. Syngar succeeded in getting Janen to sit unhappily and before long the elders dispersed, some sombrely to join their family and friends, but more to head toward their homes to ponder what had been said. Crispin shook his head sadly and started heading back to camp. Janen jumped up to follow him, and Syngar, with a quiet word to him, allowed him to go.
Syngar joined Caris and Kalen quickly, no longer smiling he said, “I don’t want to miss this, you coming?” Kalen shook her head and remained sitting but Caris, in defiance of Kalen’s opinion about her following Janen, took Syngar’s offered hand-up and, refusing to look at Kalen, followed him at a trot back to the camp.
Crispin had continued to walk beyond the horses, drawing Janen farther from hearing ears. As Caris and Syngar left the last of the houses and neared the camp, they could hear Janen yelling. “You have to make them do something! I can’t believe how selfish they are! They have everything they could possibly need here and more! You can persuade them, I know you can. When you talk, people listen, you didn’t even try! What do you think The King would want? I can’t believe he would sanction them sitting by while children starve!”
Janen continued, almost crying. “Their excuses are rubbish; they are no safer from derks in their village than they would be on the road between here and there. Crispin, have you no compassion?” Finally, Janen ran dry.
Caris and Syngar had drawn closer and could hear Crispin’s quiet reply. “Believe it or not Janen, I feel the same as you, but you are wrong about one thing, I can’t persuade them. Do you think that if I yelled at them they would listen? Or if I used arguments that they already know they would be any more convinced? Do you think that if I used The King’s name and shamed them into going and bringing those villagers in, that they would then treat them well?
They would never treat them as equals; never marry their children to them. They would resent them and treat them as an unwanted burden. You have a deep compassion and a strong sense of justice, which is admirable Janen. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to see beyond their immediate concerns to embrace the problems of others.
Do not fear though, that nothing has been achieved here. They will not ride out to the villager’s relief tomorrow but we have planted seeds in their minds, and given time, I hope they will go to their aid with good motives and a heart to help them and take them in.” Janen was silenced by Crispin’s quiet reply.
Looking at the three of them, Crispin said, “Come, let’s have a drink. They walked back to the fire Bek had started. Crispin removed a bottle from his pack and poured a small amount into the mugs of those there. After the ale, Caris was dubious about trying it, but was pleasantly surprised to find it sticky sweet.
“Yum!” she couldn’t help exclaiming. The others laughed. She was sorry Crispin had give
n her so little and took a small second sip to make it last longer. It was warm as it slid down her throat and her mouth began to go numb. By the end of her small portion, she was curling up warm and content. Bonny helped her back to her roll, and by the time her head hit the ground, she was asleep.
Caris slept late the next morning after a solid night’s sleep. She had not heard the others returning to camp and she noticed that many of them hadn’t yet woken. She went to help prepare the sausages and eggs that Gemeil was heating over the fire. “I’m surprised Crispin allowed us to sleep so late, I thought we were in a hurry,” she commented.
“We are, but we need to reprovision and I don’t think the villagers would’ve been very impressed at being woken at daybreak, many of them were up quite late last night. Bonny, Syngar, and Belti will go in after they break their fast to buy whatever the village can spare us,” Gemeil replied.
Finishing with the food preparation, Caris went over to where Bonny was brushing down Clover. “Poor girl, this journey is hard on her even without a rider,” she commented to Caris.
“You’re a good girl, aren’t you? You’re doing a good job,” Bonny cooed to the patient mare.
“I was wondering if I can come into the village with you, when you go in? I was hoping to wash my clothes in hot water, but I don’t think anyone would appreciate me using the food pots to clean my soiled clothes. I don’t think I’ll be able to do my pants as that will leave me nothing to ride in, but I can wear my dress over the top of them and at least clean my top.”