by L. C. Davis
“And you must be Kent,” the omega said, giving him a thousand-watt smile. “And here I thought Cameron was being a typical parent and exaggerating his son’s good looks.”
Kent laughed, reaching to pull out the omega’s chair out of habit. Topher paused before sitting down, but he seemed more amused by the gesture than put off by it. “I see the Silver Lake chivalry wasn’t an exaggeration, either.”
“Old habits,” Kent said, sitting across from him. “Hope you don’t mind, I ordered us a bottle of wine,” he said, pouring Topher a glass.
“Not at all,” the omega said, taking a sip. “Thanks for meeting me in town. I know it’s a bit of a drive for you.”
“It’s not too bad. Can’t complain about the scenery.”
“No,” Topher agreed, leaning back casually. “I’ve always thought the pastoral charms of our rural packs were underrated. Cameron tells me you’ve traveled quite extensively.”
“For work,” said Kent. “I’m in the military, so I just got back from Europe. I hear you teach school. What subject?”
“Mostly social studies and geography, but it’s a small school, so I have to be a Jack of all trades,” he replied. “Not nearly as exciting as being a soldier, I’m sure.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’d take a field of Alliance soldiers over a room full of eight-year-olds any day,” Kent laughed.
Topher smiled and while Kent was enjoying the omega’s company, his heart sank with the same revelation that set in whenever he was in the presence of an omega he’d met for the first time. Topher wasn’t the one. If he was, surely a smile like that would have been enough to trigger the realization, but all Kent could feel was the same casual contentment that came with pleasant company and good wine.
“This is always the awkward part, isn’t it?”
Kent looked up from his food. “Pardon?”
“Going out on dates as an unmated wolf of a certain age,” Topher replied, taking another sip of his wine. “There’s always that awkward moment of wondering when you first meet. ‘Did he imprint on me?’ ‘I wonder if this is the one.’”
Kent’s face turned hot. “Was I that obvious?”
“Not half as obvious as the last Alpha I went out with,” Topher said with a pleasant chuckle, reassuring Kent that he wasn’t offended. “It’s funny, this whole destined mates thing has turned everything on its head. There was a time when you could get to know someone, make a connection and build on that, but now it all has to be love at first sight or nothing. I’m sure it’s quite lovely when it happens, but all the times it doesn’t happen make the whole dating and mating thing quite a chore.”
Kent listened, as surprised as he was refreshed by the omega’s candor. He snorted. “I’m sorry. I’m terrible at all this. I don’t even know if I believe in destiny, at least not for myself.”
“Neither do I,” Topher said thoughtfully, swirling the liquid left in his glass. “And yet, it lingers all the same. The ‘what ifs.’”
“The stakes are pretty high, I guess. Getting involved with someone knowing there’s a risk they’re going to meet their destined mate the next time you’re out with them.”
“Tell me about it,” muttered Topher. “I wish there was a way to opt out of it. ‘No, thank you, Spirits. I’ll handle it all on my own.’”
“You sound like you speak from experience.”
Topher gave him a faint smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “Let’s just say I’ve been on the outside of a fated-mate connection and I have no intention of going through that again.”
“I’m sorry,” Kent murmured. “I hope you guys weren’t too serious.”
Topher pulled back the collar of his shirt to reveal a faint gray mating mark on his neck. It looked almost like a tattoo that had been through a couple of laser treatments, but Kent knew that wasn’t enough to fade a mark. “I guess that depends on your definition of serious.”
“He marked you?” Kent asked, horrified.
“It happens,” Topher said softly. “His happily ever after was the end of mine. I suppose it can’t be helped.”
“Bullshit,” Kent muttered before he could stop himself. “I’m sorry, I just… I can’t imagine making a commitment like that and then turning your back on it, destined mate or not.”
Topher smiled. “It could be worse. At least we didn’t have children.”
There was pain in the omega’s voice even as he spoke of that silver lining and Kent’s heart went out to him. That was the very reason he’d always been afraid of jumping into the search for a mate. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing compared to that, but I know what it’s like to love someone and have destiny come in and sweep away everything like a tornado. I’m sure it’s no secret I was head over heels for the verum omega when I was younger.”
“Gossip does have a way of traveling through the Council,” Topher said in a sympathetic tone. “I imagine that’s why Cameron set us up.”
“It is nice to talk to someone who understands,” Kent admitted.
“It is,” said Topher. “You know, it’s too bad about the whole imprinting thing. I actually like you.”
“We could give it a shot anyway,” said Kent. “But truth be told, I enjoy your company too much to take that chance.”
“And I yours,” said Topher, raising his glass. “Here’s to the mismatched socks?”
Kent chuckled, tapping his glass against Topher’s. “I’ll toast to that.”
“Now that we’ve got the awkward part over,” Topher said with a glimmer of amusement in his gray eyes, “shall we enjoy the rest of the evening? Adult conversation is something of a rarity in my line of work.”
Kent grinned. “It’s something of a rarity in my family, too.”
With the pressure off, the evening was far more enjoyable than Kent had imagined it would be. While Topher had insisted on meeting him at the restaurant, the omega let Kent walk him back home and the Alpha found himself lamenting destiny more than ever. If falling for an omega as pleasant to be around as Topher wasn’t safe, maybe he really did need to throw in the towel. He’d gone out on that date intent on pleasing his family by at least trying to find a mate, but Topher’s story had only strengthened the same hesitation that had plagued him all along.
Taking the risk of having his own heart broken again was one thing, but the risk of making a commitment to an omega he wouldn’t be able to keep? That was unforgivable, no matter how he looked at it. Kent returned to his empty house, resolved that if he was ever going to take a mate, the Spirits would have to drop the damn omega off at his front door.
Chapter Ten
NATHAN
Nathan looked up from the book he was reading when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. He grudgingly got out of bed to answer it, not terribly surprised when he found Connor waiting on the other side. The omega had taken the day off from work to take him to the hospital for all the tests Nathan had been promised. On the drive to the hospital, Connor had sworn that it wasn’t a punishment, but it certainly felt like one.
“Hey,” Connor said, looking Nathan over worriedly. “Can we talk?”
“Why not? I’m already under house arrest.”
Connor smiled. “Maybe we could make an exception for the diner. Are you hungry?”
He was, in spite of himself, but he wasn’t going to admit that. Instead, he shrugged.
“Get dressed and meet me downstairs, okay?”
“Fine,” Nathan mumbled, closing the door to change out of the clothes he’d been wearing since the night before. Connor was waiting by the door, and judging from the way his mood had changed, Nathan assumed the test results had come back.
“Why don’t we walk? It’s a nice day.”
“Sure,” Nathan said, falling into step beside him. “So, the test results came back and you realized I’m not a sex-crazed junkie?”
“You’re pregnant, Nathan. We wouldn’t be doing right by you if we didn’t care enough to make sure there’s nothing else going on. At least now we ca
n all be on the same page.”
“And what page is that?”
Connor sighed. “I don’t know. This is new to me, too, you know. For now, your father and I are both just grateful that you and the baby are healthy.”
Nathan fell silent as they made it to the diner and a cheerful waitress ushered them to a booth in the back. Connor slid into the booth across from Nathan, glancing over the menu. “As much as the pack has changed over the years, this place hasn’t. When I was pregnant with you, I was obsessed with their strawberry milkshakes. I’d get the onion rings and dip them.”
Nathan grimaced. “Maybe that’s why I hate onions.”
“Maybe,” Connor laughed. He frowned a little, a strange look coming into his eyes. “Your Uncle Mel loved this place. When we were both pregnant, we’d come here in the middle of the night, eat disgusting food and just talk for hours and hours.”
Nathan watched his father, not quite sure what to say. He had seen firsthand how deeply the loss had affected Connor. It had affected all of them, and the pain had never so much faded as it had become part of the fabric of their lives, but it was rare for Connor to speak so freely of his brother. Just saying Mel’s name seemed to take him back to a place he could never stand residing in for long, but Nathan knew Connor visited the other omega’s grave every morning without fail.
“Isn’t it hard to be here?” Nathan asked finally. “With all the memories?”
“It is,” Connor said, picking at the napkin in front of him. “But that’s the thing about pain. It hurts, but it’s comfortable. It’s so easy to wallow in it, because it fills the empty spaces and the emptiness is what really hurts. The hardest part of losing someone isn’t the pain, it’s finding a way to enjoy all the good things in life that keep happening without them despite the pain. Because you know that’s what they’d want. Because giving in to the pain and the darkness, that’s only for you, but living for them, even if it means living without them...that’s love.”
Nathan swallowed hard. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”
“I hope you never have to,” Connor said with a small smile. “I never wanted you to go through any of the things that happened to me, or to make any of the mistakes I made. I guess I wanted so strongly to protect and shelter you from the world Mel and I grew up in that I sometimes forget you’re your own person. You’re not me, and you’re going to make your own mistakes. Bad things are going to happen to you, and no matter how much your father and I love you, it’s not always going to be enough to stop them.”
“I’m sorry I let you both down,” Nathan said quietly. “I let myself down, too, if it’s any consolation.”
Connor reached across the table to squeeze Nathan’s hand. “You’re not perfect, Nate. Neither are we. I wish you hadn’t lied to us about what happened at that party. I wish a lot of things about that night were different, and I’m sure you do, too.”
“You can say that again,” he muttered.
“But I also wish we’d handled it differently. So does your father.” Connor sighed, leaning back in the booth. “You’ll understand soon enough what it’s like, being a parent and holding this tiny, perfect thing in your arms that your heart tells you is never going to do anything wrong, even if your mind knows better. And then you grew up, and it happened so fast, but you never stopped being perfect. Not in our eyes.”
Nathan stared blankly at him. “You’re kidding. I was an uber-disappointment, even before I got knocked up.”
Connor frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m nowhere near as smart as you are, or as strong as dad is. My wolf form looks like a Samoyed and I had to bust my ass all throughout school just to get rejected. It would be different if I’d just skated by, but I put everything into getting into Chase Wesson and it still wasn’t enough,” said Nathan. “I’m not enough.”
“That’s not true,” Connor said urgently. “That’s not true at all. You’re right, you’re not me and you’re not your father, but that’s a good thing. You’re something even better than the both of us combined, Nate. You are brilliant, and one day you’re going to do amazing things with that mind of yours, but the best thing about it is that it lets you see the world in a way I never could. The fact that you have to work hard doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. You’re so good that your father and I have come to expect that you’re always going to be perfect, and that just isn’t fair. No one can live up to that.”
“Well, I’m not even close now,” he mumbled. “The one time I stop trying to be good and everything falls apart.”
“I know it seems like that now, but a baby isn’t the end of the world, Nathan. You were the beginning of mine,” he said with a wistful smile. “I know it’s scary, but we’re going to be here for you no matter what. I hope you know that.”
“If you mean that, then please don’t let dad force me to tell him who the father is. It’s all I can do right now just to keep myself together, and if I have to put all my energy into protecting someone else…”
“And if this Alpha doesn’t deserve your protection?” Connor asked. His voice was gentle but there was a dangerous edge in his gaze. Those eyes were always so full of love and adoration when Nathan looked into them, but for the first time, he felt he was getting a glimpse at what Cutter’s enemies had seen in them so many years earlier.
“That’s my decision to make,” Nathan said, struggling to keep his voice from wavering.
Connor watched him for a long moment before he finally sighed. The waitress came over and took their order, but Connor was still deep in thought when she left them alone again. “If we agree to table this for the time being, it’s only because that’s what’s best for you and the baby. Don’t think for a second we’re okay with what happened, or that there won’t be consequences for that...Alpha down the line,” he said, using the term like an epithet.
“Okay,” Nathan said quickly, knowing better than to let that chance slip away. “That’s fair.”
Connor took a sip of the milkshake that was placed in front of him. “There’s one more condition. You’re not going to like it, but your father and I talked about it late into the night and we both think it’s for the best.”
Nathan gulped. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“We’re not going to force you,” Connor began. “But without knowing who’s responsible, and without being able to watch you twenty-four seven, neither of us feel comfortable with things staying the way they are.”
“What do you mean?” Nathan asked warily.
“It’s obvious that the pressure put on you by being our son is a lot more than either of us ever imagined,” Connor said, his voice laced with guilt. “We were already talking about it after you got that letter from those idiots at that snooty University.”
“That’s not a sentence you hear every day, but talking about what?”
“We just think it would be good for you to have a chance to relax somewhere there’s not so much pressure on you. These next few months aren’t going to be easy, Nate.”
Nathan blinked. “You’re sending me away?”
“No! No, of course not.” Connor hesitated. “Well, not because of the baby. We just think it would be a good idea for you to get away for a little while. Take some time to recenter and figure out what you want.”
“So what, you’re sending me to a convent?”
“No,” Connor laughed. “Although Silver Lake’s not all that far off from one.”
“Silver Lake?” Nathan grimaced. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“It’s practically an omega resort at this point,” Connor said dryly. “They have excellent medical facilities, and there aren’t as many distractions there as there are here.”
“Distractions like Alphas, parties and the drugs I’m apparently on.”
“Hey, trust is a lot easier to break than it is to build, kiddo. Take it from someone who wrote the book on winning back trust. There are still people who make the
sign of the cross whenever they run into me at Council functions.”
“I don’t want to go to Silver Lake,” Nathan muttered. “What am I supposed to do there anyway, stare at cows?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it. During my limited time there, I learned they stare back.”
“I’m serious. I know this wasn’t your idea. Please don’t let dad send me there…”
“Sweetheart, I told you, we’re not going to force you to do anything. But I do want you to take some time and really think about it. Life goes at a different pace there. You’ve been in such a rush ever since you were little. Things are going to start changing fast now that you’re pregnant, so a little rest and relaxation in the country might be just what you need to find yourself again.”
“Is my true self corn? Because that’s the only thing I’m gonna find in Silver Lake.”
Connor smiled. “Actually, I think they grow wheat.”
“Dad.”
“Just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Fine,” Nathan sulked, taking a sip of his milkshake. It was good. He just hoped it wasn’t going to become a craving. “I’ll think about it.”
And he would. Whenever he grew tired of being the object of scrutiny and gossip within his own pack even more than usual, he would think about how much worse it could have been if he’d let his parents send him to live in the middle of nowhere.
Chapter Eleven
NATHAN
Nathan woke in the middle of the night to a gnawing emptiness in the pit of his stomach that could only be satisfied by chocolate milk. He’d been going through a gallon of the stuff each day, and he had assumed it was both a stress-related craving and the reason for his recent weight gain. Now that he knew the truth, it didn’t make him want it any less.
The omega stopped before he reached the bottom of the stairs. He heard voices coming from the living room and while he wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, the fact that he had gone to bed at midnight and been asleep for at least a few hours told him that his parents weren’t simply up late having a chat about pack affairs.