Ash heard the door open behind him, and a moment later, strong arms slipped around his waist.
Jackson kissed the side of Ash’s neck. “Enjoying the view?”
Ash laid his hands over Jackson’s. “Yeah, I am. It’s really nice here.”
“I’m glad you’re liking it. We’ll have to go down to the pastures so you can meet the horses. A couple of mares foaled this past spring.” Jackson lifted his hand, pointing to the pastures. “The mares are in that one, the geldings are over there. Then there’s just a few of the cattle that me, my family, and some friends chase around and rope. When I’m in town, we usually get together most weekends, play and have a barbeque.”
Ash turned his head toward Jackson, smiling at him. “I really want to see you rope a cow.”
“I was thinking of having everyone over this weekend, if you felt up to meeting all the crazies in my family.”
“That’d be cool.” Ash faced Jackson, resting his arms on Jackson’s shoulders in a loose embrace. “Do your family and friends know you’re gay?”
“My family does, and my close friends do. They’re the ones who come over. But outside of them, except for Elizabeth no one in music knows, not even the guys who play for me.”
“I got that impression from the way they looked at me.” Ash glanced back at the property. “It has to be a relief to get away from it all. I know when I’m coming off the road, it always feels so good knowing I can be in my own home, sleep in my own bed, go to the places that are familiar to me. But for you, it’s more than a comfort thing. It’s getting to relax into being who you really are.”
Jackson pulled Ash tight against him, closing his eyes as he rested his head on Ash’s shoulder. “You really understand.”
Ash gently ran one hand up and down Jackson’s back. “Of course I do. The differences we have are only on the surface. We have all the important things in common.”
Jackson nodded and lifted his head. “So, you want a tour of this place?”
“If it doesn’t involve me having to ride one of those,” Ash flicked his hand toward one of the pastures with the horses, “I’m all for it.”
“How about we ride in that instead?” Jackson nodded toward a Polaris two-seater UTV parked nearby.
“That works.”
Jackson leaned toward him, kissing him lightly on the lips. “Let’s pack up a few things. We can go for a swim afterwards.”
“Why do we need to pack anything? I saw your pool out back.”
Jackson turned for the house. “Because we’re not going to swim in the pool.”
Ash followed him. “Just so you know, that statement scared me a little.”
“I’m just going to show you how to have a good time in the country.”
“And that just scared me even more.”
Ash smiled listening to Jackson laugh. It had such a deep tone, rich and warm. He glanced around Jackson’s home as they walked through it. The entire place was decorated to have a Western flavor, masculine and tastefully done. It was another thing opposite from him. His home in L.A. was done in cool, light colors to have a trendy edge, but he couldn’t deny he liked the earthy feel of Jackson’s place. Something about it made him feel instantly comfortable.
He helped Jackson make sandwiches and pack a cooler with drinks. They collected towels, a blanket, and in his opinion, the most important things, lube and condoms. With the UTV loaded, Ash climbed in the passenger side. Jackson got behind the wheel and drove down the dirt lane to the pastures, going to the geldings first. At the sight of them approaching, some of the horses lifted their heads and wandered toward the fence.
Jackson pointed to a buckskin tobiano Paint, his coat splashed in light tan spots, his mane and tail a blend of black and white. “That’s Rustler. He’s my favorite and knows it. He takes advantage of me for treats.” He turned in the seat and opened the cooler, pulling out a bag of carrots.
“So that’s what those are for,” Ash said. “I thought you were either having a serious beta carotene craving or we were going to get into some food kink.”
“Of all the things I’d like to do with you, I really don’t think I’d go there.”
Ash snickered and took a carrot Jackson handed to him. A black Quarter Horse with white socks on all four legs and a white blaze, hung his head over the fence. Ash went to him, petting him as he fed him the carrot. “This one’s cool.”
“That’s Twister. He’s damn quick around the barrels, but also a good riding horse in general.”
“Barrels?”
“You know, barrel racing? You run a cloverleaf pattern around three barrels trying to get as fast a time as you can.”
Ash gave him a blank stare.
Jackson shook his head. “I’ve got a lot to teach you.”
“Seriously. This is a whole new world for me. I like being outside, hiking, exploring, but this kind of lifestyle, horses, cattle, rodeo stuff, I’ve never come close to. But you know, life is all about new experiences, so I’m willing to give this stuff a shot.” He bumped his shoulder playfully against Jackson’s. “Besides, The City Mouse and the Country Mouse was one of my favorite bedtime stories when I was a kid.”
Laughter broke from Jackson again. “At least you got a good foundation laid early on for this kind of relationship.”
Ash chuckled with him. “I think so.”
After visiting with the horses, they climbed back into the UTV. Jackson drove beyond the pastures, going off the road, following along the stream as he headed toward a sparse patch of trees. Ash saw the stream came off a large pond, that was further fed by a stream on the other side.
Jackson stopped the UTV near the bank and winked at Ash. “Sometimes it’s fun to get away from the pool and skinny dip a little closer to nature.”
“I could definitely get used to country living if this is something you do a lot.”
Jackson lifted the cooler from the back of the UTV. “I do, actually. Only, I’m always alone.”
Ash snapped out the blanket and spread it over the grass. “Now that’s just sad.”
“Well, to be honest, I spend a lot of time alone. I mean, I have family and friends over a lot, and when I’m in the studio or on tour, I’m never alone, but it’s not the same.”
Ash glanced at him. He could hear the loneliness in Jackson’s voice, and it hurt him how Jackson had isolated himself because he feared not being accepted in his music genre because of his sexuality. Ash went to him and embraced him from behind. “But you’re not alone now.”
Jackson leaned back against him. “And I’m glad for that.”
He turned in Ash’s arms, meeting him in a kiss as he slipped his hands under Ash’s shirt, needing to feel his bare skin. Between kisses, they stripped more clothes from the other until they both stood bare, bodies pressed together.
Jackson grinned through the kiss, speaking with his lips on Ash’s. “Race ya.” He slapped Ash’s ass, and turned, sprinting for the pond.
Ash laughed and ran after him.
Jackson hit the water first, diving forward and swimming toward the pond’s center. Ash caught up to him and tackled him under, Jackson pulling him beneath as well. Both broke the surface, laughing. Jackson wrapped his arms around him. Ash held onto him as they found each other’s lips again.
Jackson moved them through the water toward a shallower spot near the pond’s edge. Ash slowly drew back from the kiss and pulled himself up on a flat rock, his legs dangling in the water. He waved his hand, inviting Jackson to sit between his legs. Jackson sat on a rock beneath the water, raised up so the water only came to his waist. He leaned back, resting an arm over one of Ash’s legs.
Ash started massaging Jackson’s shoulders, earning a groan of appreciation from him. “This was a good idea.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“Yeah. But you know, I seem to enjoy everything I do with you.” Ash leaned down, placing a kiss on Jackson’s cheek. “Even fighting.”
A
few deep chuckles rumbled from Jackson’s throat. “I’ll go with that, too.”
“I feel really good about what’s happening between us, but I want you to know, no matter what happens, you’re never going to be alone. Whenever you need support about coming out, or even about not coming out, I’ll always be here for you.”
Jackson turned his head and tipped it back, gazing up at him, wanting to express his gratitude for Ash’s words, but Ash stopped him with a smirk and an exaggerated sigh.
“The only problem is, now that the paparazzi know we’re not fighting anymore, it means we can hang out more often, and that’s really going to knock down my image of a rock star with a dick of an attitude. People are going to start thinking your nice boy ways will rub off on me.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about with that. You couldn’t look like a nice boy if Gandhi was your best friend.”
“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment, but I’m going to.” Ash saw Jackson still gazing up at him with a grin. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just admiring you. You’re so sexy with your black eyeliner on, but seeing you right now without it, you look incredible.”
Ash bent down to him again, dipping one hand into the water in front of Jackson. “See, I must be turning into a nice boy already. A little sappiness like that, and you’ve got me melting for you.”
“Then maybe you can be a nice boy just with me.”
“I’d like that.”
Ash touched his lips to Jackson’s, feeling Jackson’s care for him in the kiss and knowing there were so many more moments like this ahead of them.
THE END
Author bio: S.J. Frost resides in Ohio with her family and pets. Her short stories have been featured in several romance and erotica anthologies, and her M/M erotic romance novels are published at MLR Press. To learn more about her writing, please feel welcomed to visit www.sjfrost.com and http://sj-frost.blogspot.com/.
Jeanette Grey – HEART AND SOUL (Friends to Lovers)
Selected by Jeanette Grey
Dear Author,
I'm partial to best friends that fall in love. These two have been best friends since forever to hear them tell it. The blonde has been in love with the dark headed one since as long as he can remember. The dark headed one has only recently become open to the idea of a relationship with his bestfriend because he's tired of denying himself what he wants most in life. How did they meet, what's happened to them, what does everyone think? This is a story line that has been done many times over, so is there any way that you can put a twist on this or give it some new and fresh take so it's not the "same-ol-same-ol"? Anyone up for a challenge? ;o)
[PHOTO: Two naked, muscular men stand front to back, mostly facing the viewer. The tattooed man in front has his eyes closed and his head tilted back onto his lover's left shoulder. From behind, the other leans his head around to nibble on an ear, hands splayed over his lover's stomach.]
Just so you know... I REALLY REALLY like angst.
Sincerely,
Stacey Jo
Genre: contemporary
Tags: friends to lovers, tattoos
Words: 8,663
HEART AND SOUL
by Jeanette Grey
Ben glanced at his phone as he killed the engine on his car. As expected, there weren't any messages. No missed calls.
Through the drizzle and the darkness outside, he directed his gaze out the windshield toward the warm glow of the windows of Madigan's Bar, wishing he could see inside. Duke hadn't been at his house or at Danielle's, and Ben didn't know if he'd be here. If he had to put money on it, though...
With a deep sigh, Ben pulled the collar of his jacket close and threw open the car door before darting out into the rain, muttering under his breath, "Damn well better be worth it."
He only had to take a single step inside to know it was.
There at the bar, hunched over a half-drained pint, was the head of short-cropped black hair and those muscled shoulders. The peek-a-boo lines of a tribal tattoo.
For a minute, Ben stood there on the threshold, leaning against the door frame and just staring, his annoyance seeping away as quickly as it had gathered. Across the room, he saw Mike nod at him from behind the bar before gesturing toward Duke with a question in his eyes. Ben shook his head and raised his hand to press his forefinger to his lips. Mike shrugged and moved back to the other side of the bar, but Ben wasn't looking at him anymore.
How could he?
After letting his eyes scan over Duke's body one more time, Ben finally pushed away from the wall and strode across the room. The barstool made a rough noise as it scraped against the stone floor, but Duke didn't flinch at either the sound or at the way Ben deposited himself into the seat. He raised a hand to get Mike's attention again, ignoring the wry grin on the bartender's face.
"Two Sam Adams."
"Coming right up."
Mike poured the two beers and passed them over. Ben grabbed one for himself and slipped the other over to sit beside Duke's mostly empty one. Duke still didn't look up, but he did mumble out a low, "Thank you," before draining the first glass and lifting up the second.
"I tried to call you."
"I ignored it."
"I noticed." Ben chanced a quick look over at Duke. From the door, he hadn't been able to see the other man's expression, and while he had a pretty good idea what he was dealing with, he'd take any extra clues he could get.
There weren't many. But then again, after all these years, it wasn't like Ben needed much. Sure enough, in the lines around those cool blue eyes and the tilt of his lips, Ben could see that Duke was just as upset as he'd expected him to be.
Ben already knew most of the story. After all, Danielle had been the one to call him, her voice near-hysterical as she'd relayed the story of Duke walking in on her with another man. Of Duke storming out and refusing to answer his phone.
Wanting to hear it all from Duke, though, Ben didn't go into any of that. Instead, he just asked, "So how are you?"
"How do I look?"
Ben sized him up again before answering. "Wrecked."
Duke nodded stiffly but hid the waver of his mouth with his glass. "That's about right." The two men sat in silence for a few minutes, each drinking quietly until Duke dropped his fist against the bar. "It's just all... bullshit is what it is."
"What's that?"
"Relationships. Life. The whole damned thing." For the first time all night, Duke looked up and turned his head, his shining eyes finding Ben's and locking them inside his gaze. "She fucking cheated on me. With this random pick-up. Tried to tell me it didn't mean anything, but who does that?"
Ben hesitated before answering, his hand hovering over the bar. He wanted so badly to reach out, to console him. To touch him. He wanted to tell his friend that she wasn't worth it and that he should move on.
But everything he wanted to do was selfish. He wanted to touch Duke because he wanted to touch him. He wanted to turn him away from Danielle because ...
It hurt too much to think about why.
And it didn't matter anyway. Things never worked out the way Ben wanted them to. Not with Duke.
Exhaling hard, Ben finally decided on a compromise and clapped his hand on the warm muscle of Duke's shoulder, only resting it there for a second before withdrawing. He had to grasp the side of his glass to keep from doing it again. "I'm sorry. I wish ..."
Ben wished for so many things.
"It's fine. It's all fine," Duke said. "It's just ... Don't you ever just want to give up? On the whole thing? On women?"
The question stung. It was the kind of thing Duke would say sometimes, though. Especially when he was angry.
Instinctively, Ben bristled slightly, his shoulders stiffening. "Obviously."
Duke didn't even have the decency to acknowledge that he'd fucked up. "Oh, you know what I mean. Men in your case."
"And sometimes in yours."
It w
as neither the time nor the place, but Ben couldn't stop the words from spilling out. He remembered it all so vividly, walking in on Duke and another man that one time in college. Hell, he'd even dated one for a couple of weeks after his last relationship had gone to seed. Before Danielle.
It was the hope Ben clung to. It was the knowledge that tormented him and refused to set him free.
Why will it never be me?
"Fuck off," Duke retorted, but there wasn't any malice to it as he jabbed his elbow into Ben's ribs. "On love, then. Don't you ever want to give up on that?"
"Sometimes." He never did, though. Because even after sixteen years, love had never let go of him.
Duke dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on edge of the bar, and his voice was strained. "I just don't see how it can all be worth it."
"I guess ... I guess it just is. There are good times, right? Good memories?"
Snorting, Duke shook his head. "I swear, sometimes I think my best times are the ones I spend hanging out with you."
Ben's chest seemed to warm and ache in equal measures, and he forced a chuckle from his throat. "Sure, sure."
"Well, it feels that way right now at least."
"It'll get better. You know it always does." Turning to look at Duke, Ben fought to keep his tone even. "So you guys are really through, huh?"
"Yeah. I can't ... I just can't."
"I don't blame you."
Duke shook his head and signaled Mike for another couple of pints. "There was other stuff anyway. I'd just been closing my eyes to all of it."
Ben knew about a lot of the other stuff. How many nights had they spent splitting a bottle of scotch and commiserating? And goodness knew there wasn't much going on in Ben's love life for him to complain about, so most of those evenings ended up with Duke slowly pouring out his own discontents and wondering aloud why he couldn't seem to find Mrs. Right.
Or Mr. Right.
Ben's subconscious wouldn't seem to let that glimmer of a possibility go.
Changing the subject slightly, Ben asked, "So when are you going to see Kylie?"
"Tomorrow. Noon. I already called and got an appointment."
Don't Read in the Closet volume one Page 32