Ben put the glass down and wiped his mouth, but remained staring forward, uncertain if he could meet Duke's eyes without giving far too much away. They passed a minute or two in strained silence. Ben's muscles felt corded, an impulse to run welling up inside of him.
He didn't know if he could go back to being just friends.
In his periphery, Ben noticed Duke fidgeting. It was unlike him; usually he had a graceful stillness to him, the long lines of his body not prone to nervous movement. And for a second, Ben wondered if maybe Duke was just as nervous as he was.
If Ben's own silence could be mistaken for doubt.
As Ben was resolving to speak, Duke opened his mouth. "So I made another appointment with Kiley."
Ben's mouth went dry. His chest hurt.
"What?"
Duke looked over at him, blue eyes twinkling. But there was something vulnerable about him. Something he'd only really shown to Ben the night before.
"Yeah," he said slowly. He dragged one hand across his scalp. "I was thinking. To have all these mementos of how things ended ... "
Ben sucked in a breath and held it.
He didn't know how he'd survive it if this was over. If what Duke was really saying was that he was ending this.
But then Duke smiled. "I thought maybe ... maybe it would be nice to have one that was about a beginning."
"A beginning?"
"Yeah." Hesitantly, Duke reached over, as if waiting to see if Ben would stop him. He ran a tentative hand down Ben's thigh, eventually resting the warm weight of his palm on his knee. "That's what this is, right?"
Ben couldn't help himself. Although he could barely manage it with how broadly he was smiling, he leaned halfway out of his seat and grabbed Duke by the neck to plant a firm, chaste kiss against his lips.
And it felt so fucking good.
It was only when Duke laughed and squeezed his shoulder than Ben remembered himself. He opened his eyes to see Mike staring at them with a knowing grin and a shake of his head. Blushing, Ben started to pull away sheepishly, but Duke didn't let him get far. He pressed another warm kiss on Ben's lips and grabbed his hand.
"The new tattoo? I'm thinking I'm going to get it here," Duke said. He placed Ben's hand against his heart.
A dim memory of lyrics moved across Ben's mind.
You're in my heart, you're in my soul.
You'll be my friend should I grow old.
You are my lover, you're my best friend...
The steady pulse of Duke's heart beneath his hand made Ben's smile crack and his eyes prickle. "Here?" he asked.
"Here," Duke agreed. Leaning in close so he could speak into his ear, he added, "Right where you belong."
THE END
Author bio: After brief, unsatisfying careers in advertising, teaching, computers, and homemaking, Jeanette Grey has returned to her two first loves: romance and writing. When she isn't writing, Jeanette enjoys making pottery, playing board games, and spending time with her husband and her pet frog. She lives, loves, and writes in North Carolina.
Website: http://www.jeanettegrey.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeanettelgrey
GoodReads Author Profile: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/450...
Jambrea Jo Jones – WILD BLUE YONDER (Military/Coming out)*
Selected by Jambrea Jo Jones
Dear Author,
I would love to hear the story about how these two beautiful men found their way to this tender moment of love and lust. Were they friends? Or enemies? Or was one captured by the other?
Or perhaps they are both in the force and could no longer deny their attraction to each other, finally finding a secluded area to be able to indulge in each other?
[PHOTO: In brightly-lit black and white, two strong naked young men with dark hair cut military short share a sensual embrace. One, seated in a wooden chair, licks his lover's nipple, hands tight on his lover's ass. The other man leans over him, hands braced on the chair, looking down at that caressing tongue with taut affection.]
Sincerely,
Koocie
Genre: contemporary
Tags: military, Air Force, DADT
Words: 3,607
WILD BLUE YONDER
by Jambrea Jo Jones
“Damn it, Rick. I want more. A quick fuck here and there isn’t working for me anymore.” Bruce Weaver glared at his lover, Rick Croft. Why did he stay with the asshole? Oh, that’s right, he loved the prick.
“Bruce, we can’t—”
“Don’t give me that shit, Rick. We’ve been together for four years. Count them.” Bruce held up his fingers for emphasis.
“It isn’t like we can be out here. We were almost caught that time in the laundry room. Do you want to be dishonorably discharged?”
“That’s because you like risky sex. Admit it. But I’m getting out soon anyway and besides, they can’t kick us out just for being gay anymore. This is the new Air Force. Hell, the new military,” Bruce declared.
“Do you really think no one would say anything? Be honest. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to get my ass kicked anytime soon. It’s too pretty to be bruised.” Rick winked.
“Seriously? You’re joking now?” Bruce fumed.
Rick moved closer, but Bruce wasn’t having it.
They were in Bruce’s room in the dorms at Offutt Air Force Base. The nice thing about being a Senior Airman was that you got your own room. Beat spending money on rent. His was on the first floor while Rick had a room at the top of the complex. They usually crashed in his because it was closer. Well, when they managed to get on the same shift and Rick wasn’t out bar hopping and pretending to be straight.
“Come on, babe. I have to go in soon.”
“Stop it with your sex voice.”
“My what?” Rick laughed.
“That tone you get when you want some. Is that all we are? Fuck buddies? Because if that’s all you’re interested in, I need to know.” Bruce put his desk between them.
“Babe, we won’t see each other for weeks,” Rick wheedled, his dark brown puppy eyes begging, plump red bottom lip trapped by perfect white teeth.
God, Bruce wanted to replace those teeth with his own. He held in a groan.
“No. We won’t. So answer my question.” He needed to stay the course.
“Can’t we do this later?” Rick looked away.
“I think you should leave.”
“Bruce.”
“I’m sick of the bullshit, Rick. I don’t need or want two more months of ‘later’.”
“I still have a year left. What do you want me to do?” Rick ran his hands through his hair, making it stand on end.
“I’m not asking you to go marching in a gay pride parade with me. I’m asking for you to commit to me. To us. If you can’t do that, then—” Bruce paused. “Then it’s time for us to go our separate ways.” Fuck, he didn’t want to do this now. His heart ached. But his relationship with Rick—if he could even call it that—was unhealthy. He wanted more. He was proud of who he was and he was ready to live a normal life.
“Bruce—”
“Good-bye Rick. You have some things to think about and I’m tired.” He couldn’t let Rick talk him into forgetting where he stood on this. He had to be strong.
Bruce stalked to the door and didn’t stop until Rick’s back was pushed up against it. He trapped Rick with his body, covering every inch with his own. This could be the last kiss he shared with the man he loved and he was going to make it a great one.
He started with a slow brush of lips. Rick tried to wrap his arms around Bruce, but he couldn’t let the other man touch him or it would be all over and he’d be bent over something getting fucked. Not this time. He had to take a stand or in a few months he’d be alone. He had to make Rick realize this was important. He clasped Rick’s wrist and held them to the wood. Bruce was in control.
His tongue played with Rick’s lips. He didn’t let Rick take over. He wanted this to last. Fin
ally, Rick’s breath hitched and Bruce invaded. Rick’s mouth became his playground and every ounce of desperation he felt he let bleed into the lip lock. His cock throbbed in his pants. Bruce rocked his lower body with Rick’s. His lover groaned and it broke the spell.
Bruce released Rick and stumbled away. “Have a good night at work.”
No way could he watch as Rick walked out, maybe for the last time. A hand brushed his back then he heard the snick of the door opening and the thud when it closed. He didn’t turn around for a few minutes, but when he did he went back to the door and rested his forehead against it.
What have I done?
****
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Rick didn’t know what he was going to do. That kiss had felt like goodbye. Usually he could worm his way back into Bruce’s good graces, but this time it was different. His chest hurt at the thought that it could be over. He clutched a hand over his heart like it would stop it from breaking. He wasn’t ready for this. A commitment. Coming out, loud and proud. He could imagine the conversations with his father now.
“Hey, pops, I know you’re disappointed that I didn’t follow in your foot steps into the Marines, but—and I think you’ll love this—I like to suck cock. And by the way, this is my boyfriend. Let’s shake hands and grab a beer.”
That was so not happening. Rick trudged up the steps to his room. He had to fix this. It couldn’t be goodbye. Bruce was his best friend. He couldn’t imagine not having the man in his life. There had to be a compromise. Something that wouldn’t make Bruce leave him.
Is that really fair?
Should he just let Bruce go? Say goodbye? Rick stopped and clutched the railing.
“Hey, Croft, you okay man?”
“Yeah. Just winded. I’ll be fine.” He waved the other Airman away and continued on.
He couldn’t have a breakdown in the stairwell. Hell, he couldn’t break down anywhere. He’d man up, let Bruce go so he could be happy and open and—
No way. Fuck that shit. He was a Croft. He didn’t take no for an answer. Rick stood tall and took the stairs two at a time. He had a man to woo and needed to figure out a way to make this work. He loved the dipshit and Bruce was crazy if he thought Rick would just let him go without a fight.
Rick grinned as a plan began to form in his mind. He had some calls to make.
****
Bruce looked down at the paper in his hands. This was the place. Why Rick wanted him to meet him at a hotel was anyone’s guess. But Bruce was holding strong. If Rick wouldn’t give them a chance, this would be the last time they saw each other. As much as it hurt, Bruce had to be firm. Of course, he knew in the next few months he’d see glimpses of Rick but it would be easier once he was discharged. He could move back home to Indiana and forget all about Rick.
Yeah, sure, I’ll keep telling myself that.
Not like it would make any difference to his fucking heart. He grimaced and headed over to the reservation desk, determined to get this over with. He gave the clerk his name and waited. Rick didn’t say if he should check in. Maybe he should have given them Rick’s name?
“Yes, sir. I have your name on the reservations list. You’re in room three-fifty-eight. Take that elevator to your left.” The clerk pointed him in the right direction. “Here’s you’re key.” He passed over the envelope with the key. “Is there anything else I can do for you today?” the man asked with a smile.
Bruce worked up a facsimile of a smile. He wasn’t really in the mood for pleasantries and there wasn’t anything that could be done for him. “No. Thanks.”
He hit the button that would take him to what could possibly be the worst encounter of his life. He poked the button again. He knew it wouldn’t make the elevator doors open any faster, but it made him feel better. Like he was doing something. In control. Which was total BS because he was spiraling so far out of control he was almost lost.
God damn it.
The ping of the doors opening made him stand up, shoulders back, chest out. Time to stop fucking whining and get on with his life. Next stop, third floor.
Bruce hesitated outside the room, unsure if he should knock or just go in. Was Rick even there yet? Only one way to find out.
A quick knock. “Rick, you here?” Bruce opened the door. “Rick?”
He stepped in then paused, letting the door slam shut behind him. He couldn’t move even if the room had been on fire. He was shocked at what he saw. His cock, however, was not frozen.
Rick sat in what had to be the desk chair. He’d placed it front of the window with the curtains open so only the gauzy white liner protected them from the outside world. Sunlight poured over the room lighting up Rick’s body. He sat with his legs spread, his cock flaccid and laying against his thigh. Under Bruce’s stare it started to fill.
Bruce jerked his gaze away, still stunned. Rick had always been handsome and he never looked better. Bruce licked his lips and moved one step forward before remembering himself.
“Sex won’t fix it this time, Rick.” Bruce put his hands in his jeans pocket because if he didn’t he would rush the room and show Rick what he’d be missing.
Rick cleared his throat. He made as if to stand but stayed seated. They gazed at each other, the moment filled with tension. Neither one was giving. Finally Rick broke and lowered his eyes.
“I know. That isn’t what this is about.”
Bruce cocked a brow. Rick was naked in a hotel room. What else could it be about? For the first time since Bruce met Rick, the other man’s body flushed red. He was blushing. Bruce smiled.
“Okay. It might be a little about sex. But not all about sex. Listen—”
Bruce held up a hand. “Stop. How am I supposed to listen or take you seriously when you’re naked?”
“I have things to say and when I’m done, I’m hoping you’ll get as naked as I am and we can spend the afternoon, here, together. I figured,” Rick shrugged, “it would make it easier if I was already minus clothes. I mean—if you want, you can undress now too. Save us some time?” Rick grinned and that wicked twinkle in his eye was almost Bruce’s undoing.
Bruce took a breath. Then another. He wanted nothing more than to undress and let Rick fuck his brains out. But that’s what always happened. Bruce would be upset and Rick would fix it with sex. Fuck buddies to the core. He wasn’t having it. He wanted a boyfriend. A partner.
“No.”
“No, what? No you won’t listen or no you won’t get naked first?”
“I’m not taking my clothes off, Rick.” Bruce crossed his arms over his chest.
Rick nodded. “Okay then. Fine. Just listen.” Rick rocked back in the chair, two of the legs coming off the floor. He seemed to be trying to figure out what to say first.
“I’m listening.” Bruce knew he sounded snarky but he was nervous. He curled his fingers into fists and waited, preparing for the worst.
The legs of the chair came down with a thump.
“I need time—”
“Time! Rick—”
“My turn to talk. Hear me out before you start yelling.”
Bruce nodded and backed up against the door for support. He didn’t come here to hear that Rick needed time to figure out if they should become more serious.
“Okay then. When I said I needed more time, it wasn’t about you and me. Well, not directly. Stop shaking your head and listen to me damn it. I’m not fucking losing you so pay attention.” Rick took a breath. “We can’t be public, fully public until my time is up. Don’t—” Rick glared at him.
Bruce wanted to talk. To disagree. Something, but he stayed silent, his heart cracking, waiting to shatter.
“Thank you,” Rick whispered. “Now, that isn’t to say we can’t be a couple. We just need to keep it low key until I’m discharged. I think that’s safer for both of us. That’s the time I’m talking about. I’ll tell my family too, but—I can’t—I have to work up to that. You’ve met my dad. It’s—not—well—it won’t be pr
etty. But we can tell our families. Um…probably yours first. I know you’re asking yourself how this is different than it’s been for the past four years, but it will be.” Rick leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees, his expression intense until he held his face in his hands. As if he expected Bruce to reject him.
Bruce waited to see what else he was going to say. Hopeful, he leaned away from the door and toward Rick. He stepped closer, one foot in front of the other until he was a few paces away. Then he stopped again. Rick looked up from the floor at Bruce’s approach.
“No more pretending to be straight. But I’m not going to come out and declare I’m gay and proud. I’m not ready yet. No more hitting on women. That isn’t to say I won’t go out with the guys, but I won’t fake that part anymore. We can do more things, just the two of us. Dinner? A movie, maybe? Like real dates. You and me. Partners. When I’m out, we can move in together. Hell, we can do that before if we find a place we like. But who knows, we might not stay here. We can figure it out. What do you say?”
He couldn’t move. Bruce nodded, afraid of what might come out. He didn’t want to start bawling like a frickin’ baby. He moved closer.
“Wait.”
Now he was confused. He thought—didn’t Rick just say they’d be a couple?
“What—I don’t—”
“I want you naked when you get here and I have one last thing to say.”
Bruce didn’t wait for Rick to finish his sentence before he ripped his clothes off.
Rick chuckled. “I love you, ya big idiot. And I’m never going to lose you. Do you understand me? Are you good with that?”
Bruce finally found his voice. Bare, he stood in front of Rick. He controlled himself enough not to touch—yet.
“I love you too. These past few days were hell. I didn’t want to leave you, but I didn’t think you’d want more.”
“You’re okay with waiting?” Rick used a finger to trace a line down Bruce’s chest. Bruce couldn’t stop the shudder from racking his body.
“I was always okay with waiting,” Bruce admitted.
Don't Read in the Closet volume one Page 35