Settling back into the lounger, “I’d forgotten just how quiet and dark it gets here at night.” Jaime lazily gazed up into the night sky, “just look at all those stars. Man oh man, there are so many little things I'd forgotten about Georgia. It's good being back, and being here with you again,” resting his hand on top of Parker's hand. “It's just like old times, you know?”
“Yeah,” he managed to reply distantly, pinching his eyes closed, trying to block out the unnatural desires coursing through his being. Jaime's hand felt so good on his, but this was not right. Warily, he pulled his hand away; willing to chop it off his arm if that would eradicate the recent unexplained perverted thoughts. Why? After all these years, am I suddenly experiencing erotic feelings towards Jaime? He's a guy for Christ's sake!
“Honestly, what's bugging you? You've been unusually quiet all evening.”
Sucking a long draw from his beer, “just have a lot on my mind, I suppose,” unable to reveal the unsettling confusion colliding within the cells of his brain.
“I can appreciate that. Maybe I should go to bed and leave you with your thoughts.” Jaime rose to leave.
“No. Don't leave.” Parker grabbed Jaime's wrist like a vise. Surprised by the forceful grip, Jaime had reason for concern; desperation glowed from within Parker's eyes. Something disturbing was deeply troubling him, that was clear, but what? He could not leave his bud unchaperoned in this state of mind. Settling back into the lounger, his heart bled for Parker. Not being the kind of man to let work or anything bother him, Parker was such an easy going guy, this was so unlike him. Or maybe, after all these years, things actually started to bother good ol' Park. Making himself available, no matter what, Jaime would stand beside his friend. There was way too much history between them for him to abandon Park when he needed him most.
Constellations silently shifted across the sky's velvet canvas while a waning crescent moon sailed effortlessly like an artist’s skilled brush, painting a tranquil scene as serenading crickets inspire the artistic muse. Jaime absorbed the night into his pores, not realizing until that moment, how much he had missed the simple pleasures of home. Time erases pain, hurt and insignificance; sometimes we need to be reminded of those forgotten, inconsequential memories, as they may someday turn out to be the most important.
“Did your parents know you were gay?”
Startled, it had been an hour or more since a word had been shared between them, suddenly out of nowhere Parker broke the silence. Thinking for a minute, Jaime threw his head back whooping, “You're kidding right? My Southern Baptist Bigoted Bible thumpin' parents?” His laughter vanished as his voice grew soft and somber, “I never had the chance to tell them. Well, maybe I didn't have the courage. Anyway, they died never knowing.”
“Who knew you were – well – that way – besides me?”
“You'll be honored to know you hold the sole privilege.”
Curiously turning to look at Jaime, “but why me?”
“I don't rightly know, I guess – I thought if maybe you knew – you’d tell me you were secretly gay too and we'd live happily ever after.” Jaime chuckled. “I know. It was stupid. We do a lot of silly things when we're kids. Who'd have imagined ten years ago, we'd still be best friends, downing brewskis' under the stars? Life can be puzzling sometimes, ya know? Some things change and some don't.”
****
Just like the night before, Jaime laid naked in his bed, thinking about Parker, but tonight, he felt compassion and concern for his burdened bud. Slipping out of bed, he quietly padded barefoot across the room, opened his door very quietly, hoping it would not squeak, not wishing to disturb Parker. Slipping bare-ass naked into the hall, he quietly worked his way to Parker's bedroom door, finding it slightly ajar, he peeked in to check on Parker. Sleeping soundly, Jaime was relieved, but he could not take his eyes off the naked man he longed for, stretched across the bed, laying on his side, round firm butt cheeks facing his direction. In the minimal light cast through the window by the sliver of a moon, Parker was absolutely fucking gorgeous, just like he had imagined. Unaware he was stroking his rock hard cock until he felt precum lubricating the fist he was unconsciously fucking. The sight of Parker, the lubrication in his hand – then Parker rolled over onto his back, exposing an erect, thick, long cock, jerking wildly in the air. Jaime's mouth watered, his ass hole twitched with longing desire. Gasping, he shot not one, but four thick creamy streams of jizz onto the floor, the door and his bare feet.
****
“Jaime!” Jolting up in the bed, Parker clasped his hands to his mouth, he was not sure, but he may have cried out in his sleep. I pray to God, he didn't hear me. Sitting motionless for a few moments, keenly listening to detect if Jaime stirred in the next room. Nothing. Apparently his outburst had gone unnoticed. Climbing out of bed, he paced naked in the dark, his erect cock bounced with each step, as he tried recalling the details of his nightmare. Actually it had not been a nightmare at all, not much different than the previous nights dream, but for some reason, it was no longer frightening to him. He actually embraced the idea of kissing Jaime. He wanted to kiss the lips he loved to watch as Jamie spoke. Flopping on his back into his bed, he laughed maniacally. Closing his eyes he reveled in the images of Jaime swimming in his head. Grabbing his pulsating cock in his fist, feverishly pumping to the erotic images of Jaime spinning madly in his head, like an out-of-control carnival carousel. Releasing a groan of sheer ecstasy, a geyser of liquid seed gushed from his cock, splattering over his chest and stomach. Immersed in his own spent juices, exhilarated, he laughed hysterically, he had never cum that hard before, and it was all because of beautiful, wonderful Jaime. Recalling something Jaime had said earlier in the evening, “Life can be puzzling sometimes, ya know? Some things change and some don't.” Over the years, thankfully Jaime had not changed, but he knew he was, and he knew he was falling in love with Jaime. Fuck it, maybe I am a big ol' fag after all and never knew it. A whirlwind of unanswered questions circulated in his head. What will happen to our friendship by exposing my new found love for him and what if he rejects me? Jaime has never once shown any interest in me, other than just friends. Could he believe I’m in love with him? Hell, this is all too much for me; I wake up in the middle of the night and decide I’m gay and in love with my best friend? Even I don’t believe this. These feelings are too real. I’ve never felt like this towards a woman, let alone a man. How can I possibly convince Jaime that I love him? Maybe I’ve loved him for years but never allowed myself to experience these thoughts and feelings. Clutching a pillow tight to his chest, Will I be risking our friendship if I tell him the truth? Can I live with myself if I don’t at least try?
****
Sitting in the drive of the Duncan home, he heard the pounding of a hammer. Of course he knew Jaime would be there, his father's truck would be in the shop for at least a week or more while the mechanic rebuilt the engine. Parker had been more than a bit dumbfounded when Jaime announced he wanted to have his father's old '57 Ford F-Series pick-up rebuilt. Until the truck was running, Parker would play chauffeur, he didn't mind it at all, he enjoyed the extra time together. He only hoped what he had to say to Jaime would not dissolve their friendship; he had to get this off his chest. Today. Now. Stewing all day over how and what he would say to Jaime, he had rehearsed the conversation relentlessly in his head. Selecting just the right words, the most poignant phrasing, figuring where to place the inflection of his voice to drive his point home, he was probably developing an ulcer, if he didn't already have one. Jaime had to know, he owed that to his friend, even at the cost of loosing his best friend in the entire world.
Extending his leg beyond the open police cruiser door, he froze, he could not do this, he could not risk the chance of loosing his best friend. Suddenly, he heard the voice of his grandfather, “Step up, be a man. Be a man.” Pinching his eyes closed, he drew a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, before releasing. You're a cop. Maybe that was the only way he could do this wi
thout losing his nerve, think and act like a cop. You're a cop. Moving with renewed determination and purpose, he headed toward the open front door, as if he were about to confront a perp or make an arrest. You're a cop. Body upright and rigid, alert to his surroundings, arms to his side, ready to draw his weapon if need be. Parker was in stealth police mode. Stepping cautiously inside the door, he scanned the area for any potential danger. No sign of anyone, at least in the living room. You're a cop. Closing the door, he propped a nearby chair under the doorknob, blocking the exit, deterring potential suspects from escaping or anyone from entering. Moving toward the kitchen in the direction of the hammering, he silently stalked his prey like a lissome leopard. Approaching the doorway, he pressed his back firmly against the wall; there was no backup if there was trouble, knowing he would have to be cautious. Guardedly peering around the door frame he spotted his target, a single male, and his back to Parker, this would give him an advantage over his adversary, the element of surprise. Leaping into action, a heavy cloud of dust filled the air as he threw his arm around the perp's neck, knocking the hammer from the perp's hand and then pulled the perp's arm behind his back, rendering him helpless. Retrieving handcuffs from his belt, he cuffed one of the perp's wrists. Forcing the perp into a dinning chair, he cuffed the other wrist, securely pinning both the perp’s hands behind the chair.
“What the fuck?” Jaime gasp, expelling dust from his lungs. “Let me go. Have you gone fuckin' crazy?”
Something came over Parker, as if waking from a dream; he likened it to an out of body experience. Amidst a dense dusty cloud, he recognized a pleading handcuffed Jaime begging to be released and a deranged, confused cop. What in the hell have I done? Regaining his senses, this was not supposed to happen like this. In disbelief, he had apparently gone into cop mode, way to go ass-hole, you've fuckin' ruined everything. Pacing the floor in silence, frantically rubbing his palms over the thickening stubble rising on his rugged chin. Panic stricken, he literally had no idea how everything had gotten so out of control.
“God damn it Parker!” Jaime wheezed between fits of coughing. “Let me go. This isn't funny. You need help.”
“Shut up.” Parker snapped in a soft, determined voice. Why did I say that? Okay, none of this is going as planned, but I do have Jaime's undivided attention. Not exactly as I’d intended, already involved this far, I might as well finish what I came to do. Parker, you've really fucked myself into a corner this time. “Please, you've got to hear me out.” He begged, blinking away gritty dirt particles scratching his eyes, trying to recall the eloquent speech he had so well rehearsed.
Being held captive by a crazed mad man, Jaime had little choice, he stopped struggling, waiting for Parker to speak. Never, in all their years had he ever had cause to be frightened of Parker, until now. All throughout the day, he had worried about Parker, after the episode last night; he felt there was reason for concern. Now, he had conclusive evidence. Parker needs help. I'll see to it that he's locked up, where he can't hurt himself and gets the medical attention he needs. Then, I'll get the hell out of this town. I swear, I'll never look back. Tears of regret and sadness tumbled over Jaime's face, his heart was breaking.
Rubbing his open hand through his dust covered cropped hair, unable to make direct eye contact with Jaime. Studying the floor, as if his speech were etched just below the surface of the dust covered linoleum. Each step leaving telltale imprints as he paced back and forth across the dusty tile.
“Jaime,” he started in a shaky and uncertain voice. “You know, you're the best friend I've ever had –” A pensive pause caught in the cloud of murky air as he continued pacing, desperately trying to find the words. “And, I think you know, I'd do just about anything for you, right?” avoiding Jaime's puzzled expression.
“Yes, I guess so.” Jaime conceded, in a weak nervous whisper, realizing Parker was waiting for a verbal confirmation, even though Parker refused to acknowledge Jaime shaking his head in agreement.
“Until today's stupidly asinine stunt, I'd never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.” Parker rubbed his eyes with his open palms; his breathing came in short labored gasps. Jaime had never seen Parker so distraught. He had always been his rock, the stability Jaime could always depend on. Now, he was concerned about his own safety, Parker had obviously snapped mentally, all he could do was helplessly watch and pray Parker would not harm him.
“Damn it Jaime, this is so hard for me,” he slammed the kitchen table with both fists, dust and Jaime jumped. Jaime wet him self. “Ever since you've come back, I can't get you out of my head.” Staring at the table top, tears tumbled from his bowed head, marking the dust like thunderstorm rain pellets. “You're even in my fuckin' dreams.” Parker sobbed. “Do you know what its like – to realize your world has turned upside down, suddenly realizing you love someone and they don’t love you in return?” Tears filled his eyes, “I’m trying to tell you – I’m falling in love with you,” raising his head to meet Jamie's gaze. The stunned expression on Jaime's face was the very look he had hoped not to see, recognizing he was loosing his only true friend, the one person who meant the most to him in the entire world. How else could I expect Jaime to respond, after I’ve unnecessarily roughed him up, handcuffed him, treated him like a common criminal, then tell him that I love him? I’m a fuckin’ psychopath, I don’t deserve him. After today, Jaime won’t call me his friend ever again. Tears streamed over Parker's cheeks as he surveyed his best friend for the very last time. He knew for sure their friendship was over.
“I love you too,” staring at the floor, Jaime whimpered.
Cocking his head, “What?” swiping tears with the back of his hand from his color drained face.
“I've loved you for as long as I've known you,” slowly looking up to meet Parker's teary gaze.
Rushing to Jaime, he knelt in front of him, dropping his head into his lap and sobbing. “I’m so sorry for everything. Believe me. This wasn't supposed to have happened like this. Please, please forgive me. You’ve got to believe me. Since you've come back home, I've been a basket case – it wasn't until this morning I realized what was bothering me. It wasn't about being gay or straight, it was about loving you.”
“I understand. We don’t choose who we love. Years ago, I came out to you, but I couldn’t tell you it was you that I loved.”
“Why?”
“Just like you, I’d never risk jeopardizing our friendship, you’re too important to me. If the only way to keep you in my life was to be your friend, I’d gladly give up my dream of being your lover.”
Parker wrapped his arms around Jaime's waist crying. “What do we do now?”
“First, how ‘bout you uncuff me?” Jaime chuckled through his tears.
“Do you forgive me?”
“Yes, I do,” tenderly placing a kiss on top of Parker's head.
Relieved, Parker fumbled to unlock the cuffs.
Standing face to face, Jaime rubbed his wrists, still stinging from the tight restraints that had earlier bound him.
Cupping Jaime's face in his hands, he gazed into the gentle hazel eyes he recalled so vividly in his dream. “Jaime Duncan, I love you. Will you take me as your lover?”
Growing weak in the knees, this was the moment Jaime had dreamt, lost in the emerald green eyes which had filled his dreams every night for most of his life. “Yes,” he choked through tears of joy streaming down his flushed cheeks.
Gently leaning into Jaime, their lips all but touch, Jaime's scent filled Parker's senses. He knew he should be trembling, but he wasn't. Never, had he felt like this for another man, let alone consider what he was about to do, but it felt natural, this was something he wanted. He needed to do this to fulfill his destiny, to be the man he was meant to be.
Desperately desiring Parker, he allowed Parker to take the lead for the first time in their life-long friendship. After all, this was a huge step for Parker, one Jaime was not sure Park was ready to make. Their future was now in Parker's hands, w
as he truly ready, willing to take the plunge, opening his heart to the love of another man? Jaime closed his eyes, if this did not happen, at least he could hold the memory of this pivotal moment in his mind forever. Parker's warm breath whispered over Jaime's quivering lips, then, ever so gently, Parker's lips pressed into his. Moaning, he succumbed to Parker, partly because he never expected this moment to arrive and partly to encourage Parker to take him. Slipping his tongue inside Jaime's more than willing mouth, a gentle, tender kiss boiled into a storm of unbridled passion. Nurturing an undying devotion to blossom, a love they would share together, forever.
THE END
Author bio: Born and raised in north central Oklahoma, attended college at Oklahoma City University where I studied Performing Arts along with Pre-Seminary Studies. After college, I traveled around the country, eventually hanging my Stetson and Tony Lama's in Austin, Texas where I currently reside.
My first novel is currently in submission and working on the second. I classify my writing as Contemporary GLBTQ Themed Fiction, ranging from drama, humor, romance and erotica, all in an effort to capture the bumps and valleys encountered while making our own way through life.
My Links:
Website: http://www.dustinadrianrhodes.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/author.dustin.ad...
Twitter: http://twitter.com/DustinARhodes
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Don't Read in the Closet volume one Page 49