‘Anyone for sherry?’ Connie passed the flutes around on a silver tray, trying not to shake it too much.
Then the front door flew open and Levi filled the hall. ‘Sorry I’m late folks. How’s the legs, Mother?’
‘It’s my hip, and it is on the mend, or it was.’
‘Good … good.’
Connie blurted out, ‘Is that the gravy?’
‘There’s a good smell coming from the kitchen. Has Connie been busy?’
‘Neville’s done it, actually,’ said Connie.
Levi looked at his son. ‘You don’t take after your pa, then. I wouldn’t know one oven knob from the other,’ he laughed, face pink with exertion. ‘So what’s new?’
‘Would you like to sit down, Dad? There’s something I’ve got to tell you and I’m going to say it only once.’
Connie jumped in. ‘What Neville wants to say is that dinner is ready. Let’s put everyone at the table. It’s a shame to waste all this good cooking.’
Now everyone was nervous, polite, unsure, passing the vegetables around, making small talk. Connie sat at one end with Su to her left and Gran on the other side. Neville put Levi on his right next to Su, and his mother next to Gran so his parents were opposite and not touching.
When the first course was over, to great acclaim, Connie rushed in with her apple pie, with apologies for the rubbery pastry.
‘These apples are a bit tart,’ commented Ivy.
‘I’ll get the sugar bowl.’ Neville jumped up.
‘Sorry, I forgot to sweeten them,’ said Connie.
‘Look, what’s going on?’ Levi was flustered. ‘I may be thick but I guess we’re not here to discuss the price of fish. Out with it. What’s up? Do you want a loan? Who’s got the sack? Who’s crashed the car?’
‘Nothing like that, Dad,’ Neville faltered, looking to Connie for courage. She nodded and crossed her fingers under the table.
‘Then what?’ Levi snapped.
‘I’m queer.’
‘You’re what!’
‘I’m queer, and me and my friend have been arrested. That’s what’s up.’
No one spoke. Su busied herself with eating the pudding. Gran briefly covered her face with her napkin.
‘He’s in a spot of bother, that’s all, but we can get a good lawyer. They were targeted,’ she said.
‘Where?’ Levi stuttered.
‘Leaper’s View.’
‘Ivy, did you know?’ Levi continued. Everyone was turning to Ivy, who was quietly choking on her apple pie, purple in the face. ‘Say something, Ivy … Ivy? She’s going to pass out. Someone do something quickly!’
Auntie Su rushed behind Ivy’s chair and thumped her between the shoulder blades. An apple skin shot out of her mouth onto the table cloth.
Connie apologised, ‘Oh, sorry, I forgot to peel them.’
Ivy still didn’t speak but sat there, rigid.
‘I think she’s gone into shock,’ said Gran, patting her on the hand. ‘Ivy, come on, now, it’s not that bad. He could have been done for murder or fraud.’
‘But what about my grandchildren?’ was all she said. ‘I want my grandchildren. Every mother wants grandchildren. And if he doesn’t get himself wed … He has to get married.’
‘I don’t think she’s taking it in,’ said Gran. ‘Look, Ivy, your son isn’t the marrying kind, as they say. He’s a bachelor boy.’
‘This is private stuff – why do we have to share it out here?’ Levi said, looking at Su and Connie, red in the face. ‘Did you know, Mother?’
‘Only a few days ago, the night when President Kennedy died. I told him not to hide away and to be a man, and he has. He’s done the right thing and now we must do the right thing by him. He is your son.’
‘He’s no son of mine! A poofter! I’ll never live it down at the Legion. A soldier’s son, and all.’
‘Lots of famous soldiers have loved men,’ Connie interrupted. ‘Alexander the Great, Achilles … even Monty was supposed—’
‘Don’t you dare call the hero of Alamein a poof! He’ll have to have treatment. They can give them electric shocks or pills to take away the urges.’
‘But what about my grandchildren?’ said Ivy.
‘Oh, pipe down about your grandchildren, Ivy.’
‘Don’t you tell me to pipe down, you adulterer! It’s all your fault for not being a proper father to him.’
‘It’s all your fault for pandering to his every whim and making a sissy out of him.’
‘Don’t you blame me!’
‘Shut up moaning. The sooner I’m divorced from you the better.’
‘I’ll never divorce you!’ said Ivy.
‘Stop it, both of you! I’ve told you now, so you can go and I’ll not bother you again. I can sort out my own mess without your help. Now you know, so you can all go home. The show’s over. I’ll be better off living here with Gran.’
‘Mother, have you been interfering again?’ Levi accused.
Susan stood to leave. ‘This is private. I will leave you to your family discussions.’
‘You are family,’ Gran said. ‘Connie wanted you here. Why, I don’t know.’
‘Because,’ Connie gulped. The dreaded moment had come. ‘Because Neville is not the only one in trouble. I am pregnant … three months pregnant!’
Neville stood beside her with his hands on her shoulders. ‘She came to support me so I am supporting her.’
‘I don’t believe it! Not all this palaver all over again. Like mother, like daughter. Connie, how could you do this to us? I thowt you’d have more sense!’ Gran spluttered.
‘I wasn’t thinking of the family when I was doing it,’ she quipped.
‘Don’t you get funny with me, girl. I had to put up with you as babies, all that fakery. Don’t you ever learn? How dare you bring shame on the family? I warned you when you ran off, making a fool of yourself …’ Gran was puce in the face, struggling for breath. ‘You’ll be the death of me!’
Susan went to hold Connie’s hand. ‘I can’t take you – the rooms are all let.’
‘Well, she’s not staying here. I can’t cope with a baby at my time of life and my bad hip.’
‘I’m not asking for charity. I just need somewhere to stay for a while until my exam results come through. I’ll get a job and pay my way for as long as I can.’
‘You can stay with us,’ said Ivy, smiling. ‘Stay with Neville and me. We will look after you.’
Neville’s hand stiffened on Connie’s shoulder. ‘What’s brought this change of heart, Mother? You never have a good word to say about Connie.’
‘But it’s different now.’
‘Why?’ Everyone was looking puzzled.
‘There’s one condition, though,’ Ivy added.
Levi smiled. ‘I knew there would be. She never does anything for free.’
‘It’s a simple solution to all our problems. Connie will marry Neville … first cousins can. The baby will be brought up a Winstanley. I have my grandchild. Connie can go to college. The police will not charge a young married man with a baby on the way.’
‘She’s talking out of her backside as usual. Take no notice, she’s off her head,’ laughed Levi.
‘Wait on,’ said Gran. ‘Ivy’s got a point. If they marry, we keep it in the family, all the scandal. Once Neville’s married he can put all this nonsense behind him for good. No one need ever know. It’s worth thinking over.’
‘But we’re more like brother and sister,’ Neville said, shocked, and Connie sat stunned.
‘So what? There doesn’t need to be any of that side of married life. You’ll have a kiddy and no one will be any the wiser.’
‘But I’m not its father!’ he protested.
‘I suppose it’s one of Gorman’s, is it?’ Gran added.
Connie said nothing.
‘We close ranks, keep this in the family, and the pregnancy will be another nine-day wonder,’ Gran continued.
‘But I don’t want to m
arry Neville. I don’t want to marry anyone.’ Connie stood up.
‘You’ll do as you’re told,’ Gran shouted. ‘You brought this on yourself. If you want a roof over your head, you’ll do what I suggest or you’re no granddaughter of mine!’
Connie had never seen Gran so angry and hard. Her eyes were flashing like sparks. Connie turned to Neville. ‘Say something, Nev. Tell them it’s a crazy idea. It won’t work.’
‘Does it have to? You’ll get protection and I get some respect,’ he replied.
‘And I get my grandchild,’ Ivy chuckled.
‘It’s the only offer on the table, Con. We have to think about it.’
It’s a stupid idea,’ said Levi, standing to leave. ‘If you don’t mind, I’m out of here. You’ve all gone mad. Su, do you want a lift?’
‘Thank you, but I have the car. Jacob is walking up to join me. We want to visit Joy and go for a run. Now Joy is safely married I am thinking for myself for a change.’
‘You do right,’ said Gran. ‘These young ones have got the answer to their troubles in their own hands now. Let them stew on all this for a few days. I’m sure we can rustle up a shotgun wedding in a week or two … I’m off to bed for a rest.’
Neville faced the mountain of washing-up with a sigh. It had not gone how he had expected, and Mother’s little outburst had taken the breath out of him. Marry Connie, father another man’s baby, live with her as man and wife? How on earth could he do it and see Trevor on the side?
He loved Trevor. He didn’t want to dump him but that was the price of getting out of this mess – saying it was just a moment’s aberration, done under duress. He could explain that he was engaged and his fiancée was standing by him. There was a baby on the way, a baby he needed to support. It would look good before the judge.
Connie would have a permanent baby-sitter in Ivy. In fact, she’d be able to leave the baby there and do her studying if she wanted to. And yet he’d seen the look on Connie’s face when Ivy made the suggestion, made her ultimatum. He was shocked to see how quick Gran was to jump to Ivy’s defence.
The idea was all too slick and tempting, but he felt uneasy. Could he possibly go through with such a wild scheme?
18
A Truce
For three weeks Connie went along with their plans. She was taken in secret to see Dr Gilchrist, prodded and poked, pronounced healthy and given iron tablets and free milk tokens. Ivy even bought her a sack dress. Connie looked like a humbug in its black and silver stripes. There were plans to have the reception at their house, seeing as it would be a small wedding, soon after Christmas and before Connie got too big.
Neville saw his lawyers to make his defence but was still fretting about Trevor.
‘His mother won’t let me through the door,’ he said to Connie. ‘She says he’s got flu, but I don’t believe her. They hope to get us off with a caution, especially under the circumstances of your pregnancy. It’s like Mam said, they are putting it down to an act against nature and it won’t happen again.’
Ivy was all over them like a rash. She’d set aside the boxroom for the nursery. They would have her bedroom and she’d have the back bedroom, three generations in one tiny semi-detached, but not for long. She’d already called on Esme to suggest if Susan was serious with Dr Friedmann, then wasn’t it time that she moved out to live nearer to Joy and the baby so they could all go back to the Waverley, the big family house, where Connie could do the housekeeping and go to night school and it would be like old times? Neville would be running the Health and Herbs market stall and she would be able to give up her job and look after the baby for all time. Ivy was all for giving the tenants their notice there and then.
Connie felt sick every time she thought of living with Ivy again. Yet Neville’s defence lay in her compliance, and she would not let him down. But as the tiny life fluttered inside her, she knew that she must do the best for this baby, no matter what. But something didn’t feel right in her heart and in her gut.
One afternoon she took herself off after college to Longsight Square and the travel agency where Auntie Lee ran the business alongside Avril Crumblehume. They welcomed her in and Connie suggested she might take her aunt to Santini’s for a tea break.
They sat in the espresso bar, where once Connie had felt so cool and with it, and now felt sick at the smell of the Gaggia machine.
‘I expect Granny has told you my troubles,’ she whispered.
Lee held out her hand and nodded. ‘I’m sorry, yes, Esme couldn’t contain herself. I gather they’ve made plans for you and Neville. Is that what you want?’
Connie bowed her head. ‘I’ve no choice. It helps Neville out, and Ivy seems to be supporting us.’
‘Ivy is out for herself. She will take over your baby. I’d offer to help myself, but Arthur is so active and demanding. He’s in nursery part time and there’s the business. I just can’t help out.’
‘I realise that but I have to continue studying. I’ve messed everything up.’
‘You have told the father?’
‘No, I can’t. He’s in showbusiness. It would never work, and it wasn’t his fault.’
‘Come on, it takes two to tango,’ her aunt offered. ‘I was wondering if Diana might be able to help. She’s always a good listening post. She’s got a job near Leeds now, and I know you visited her in London.’
Connie smiled, recalling those busking days. ‘She saved us from rotting in our own clothes, gave us a meal, let us wash off the grime. I don’t want to impose. We never met Hazel, her friend. She was on duty.’
‘Well, they’ve moved in together to run some nursing home for children with handicaps. Let me give you her address, just in case …’
‘Just in case?’
‘I ought not to be saying this, Connie, but for Ana’s sake I will. Don’t always take the first option on offer. There are other ways forward.’
‘Like what? If I let them down I’m out on my own,’ Connie replied. This was not what she was expecting to hear from her aunt.
‘You know the story of how Peter and I met just before I was getting married, how I nearly made it to the altar with the wrong man, but I’d ducked out, to everyone’s relief at the last minute? Listen to your heart and your bowels; they never lie: if there is relief and peace in this decision being made for you, go for it, but if not, please be careful,’ Lee said, leaning forward so no one could catch their conversation.
‘Why are you saying this to me now?’ Connie asked.
‘Because I care about you, Connie. I was the first person to hold you when I brought your mama from the airport and I promised her I would see you right. I do miss her. She, of all people, would have understood. Oh … look at the time! I’d better go back.’
They both sniffed back their tears into their cups.
‘Think on, trust your gut to tell you what is right.’ Lee then wrote down Diana Unsworth’s address outside Leeds and left it on the table.
Neville was closing up after a hectic Friday afternoon in the market. New orders had arrived in boxes to be sorted, labelled and shelved, and invoices checked over, while his dad fussed over the counter, sorting out misplaced packets of pulses and dried nuts. Pre-Christmas was always a busy time. Their vegetarian section was going well because of all the articles in the women’s magazines about meatless cookery and healthy living.
Neville was sweeping up. His dad had been so silent with him of late, opening his mouth as if to give him an earful and then shutting it with a sigh. Why didn’t he just come out with it and say that he was disgusted with him, sick at the thought of having a homo for a son, a Jessie and a soft quilt. But he had gone to the police station with him and stood by him, attended the first hearing and all the solicitor’s meetings.
His mother was too busy trying to fix up the wedding on the quiet and buying baby knitting patterns.
‘Do you fancy a pint?’ Levi said. ‘I reckon we’ve earned it this afternoon. You’ve nothing to rush back for?’
>
‘I guess not.’ Neville hesitated, not sure if he was in for another lecture. ‘You’ll have to pay, though. I’m skint.’
‘You’ll be a lot more skint once you’re wed,’ was his dad’s comment as they drew the tarpaulin curtain across the stall. They walked across town side by side. Funny how his dad had shrunk, and it was Neville who was looking down on his father now. They slipped into the King’s Arms next to the Variety Theatre, which was being turned into a bingo hall, sat in a corner by the fire and supped in silence.
‘Neville, are you sure about this do?’ Levi fumbled for words.
‘You mean me and Connie? What choice do I have? It’s all been decided. I suppose it makes sense for both of us.’
‘Does it? In my eyes it’s a damn silly idea.’
‘Really?’
‘You aren’t suited. She’s a clever girl in trouble, and you are a businessman, one who’s not inclined to marriage. It’ll be a disaster, in my book. Heed a father’s warning!’
‘But they’ve built a case round this marriage and fatherhood. It makes me normal.’ Neville looked up, shocked by his father’s stance.
‘Son, you’re not normal. I mean, you never were … I’ve been looking back. You were different right from the start. You always preferred Ana and Su’s girls to rough and tumble with the street boys. You liked the stage and dressing up, not rugby and football. Was there any funny business at that school? Did anyone interfere with you?’ Levi was blushing.
‘No, Dad, just the usual boys mucking about and taking the mick. The Lawns was never my cup of tea, but there was Baz. We got by … just. Why are you saying this, all of a sudden? I don’t understand.’ He had never had a heart-to-heart with his father before. It felt strange.
‘All you need to know is I’m your dad. Whatever else you are … you’re my lad and I’ll stand by you. I don’t want you getting tied down like this just to please your mum and Gran. I may be a Winstanley, but I’ve seen enough hanky-panky in this family to know Ivy is not a good influence.
‘I never really loved her. She sort of dazzled me and I sleepwalked into marriage after I’d been a prisoner of war. And that’s another thing – I saw things there. Men took comfort from each other. There were romances of a sort, some lasting right the way through, some flirting. It’s natural in a camp, but then I got to thinking we don’t choose how we are.
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