Where had that come from? She wanted Kyle to be happy. She didn’t want to be so...so selfish.
“He’s pretty irresistible.” Lizzie smiled. “But that was before little Greer got here. Goodness, you are adorable.”
Greer, who lay on the changing table with her legs pulled close so she could hold on to her toes, smiled up at Lizzie.
“She knows it, too.” Skylar had to smile at her daughter’s antics. Shameless.
“Goodness you are just about the sweetest little dumpling.” Cassie shook her head. “May I?”
Skylar saw the smitten look on Cassie’s face and nodded. “Watch your hair though. Greer loves to grab.”
Cassie scooped up Greer and smiled down at the baby. “She is beautiful, Skylar. All your girls are. It’s easy to see why Kyle has fallen so in love with them.”
“They are.” Lizzie nodded.
“How are you settling in?” Cassie asked. “You made quite an impression when you stopped by the clinic.”
Skylar held her breath. “Oh?”
“A good impression,” Cassie said. “Sorry, I should have said that. My brother, Buzz, is so excited to have some help. His old tech, Ivan, retired about a year ago and he’s used a few temps since then but he really needs regular help.”
“It was meant to be,” Lizzie agreed.
“It seems like it. I admit, it’s different.” Skylar swallowed against the knot in her throat. “Being here. With people. A job. Everything.” There was so much more she could say. For the first time in a long time, she felt a glimmer of control. And yet, she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that—at any second—things would come crashing down around her. She’d lived so long braced, waiting for the next thing...
“It took me a while to feel at home here, Skylar.” Lizzie hesitated. “I’d lived my whole life in Houston—I was a big-city girl. But Hayden and Weston and Jan welcomed me with open arms into the family.”
“You are family.” Skylar smiled. “I appreciate everything your family and Kyle have done for me and the girls but...we’re not family. I owe you all an incredible debt that, when I’m able, I want to repay.”
Silence fell.
“Well, I’d like us to be friends.” Cassie’s declaration was unexpected. “Kyle is a good friend. You’re...a friend of his so—”
“Yes. That’s all we are,” Skylar said a little too assertively. “Friends, I mean.” She met Cassie’s gaze, wanting the woman to believe her. Lizzie, too.
“Oh?” Cassie’s brows rose. “If you say so.”
Lizzie kept her opinion to herself, but her face said it all. She didn’t believe Skylar.
Skylar cleared her throat and added, “He’s a great guy—don’t get me wrong.” He’s the best. “It’s just... I don’t have the time or the interest in anything more than that.”
Lizzie chuckled. “You do have your hands full.”
Greer cooed, giving Cassie a broad grin.
“With all this adorableness.” Cassie smoothed the wisp of curls on the top of Greer’s head. “Just know, if Kyle’s not the one, there are plenty of gentlemen in these parts who would gladly catch your eye—when you’re ready. I got the impression Angus McCarrick was very interested.”
If Kyle’s not the one... Kyle couldn’t be the one. Giving her heart to him would likely see her hurt and, once he realized loving her girls wouldn’t hold a marriage together, the girls would be hurt, too. It would be a mistake—one that would end with her being on her own. Again. She’d been through that once. She wasn’t strong enough to do it again.
* * *
Even as he picked up leftover cups and plates and napkins into the large black trash bag, Kyle was constantly aware of Skylar. He knew she was perfectly capable of handling herself but, if she needed a hand, he wanted to be there for her. At the moment, she was sitting on the porch, coloring with the girls while Weston slumped, sound asleep, against Hayden’s large dog Charley. No assistance needed.
Today had been good and not so good. Good because the girls had fun. Once they got comfortable with the crowd, they seemed to enjoy the piñata and cake and scavenger hunt. Not so good because of the amount of masculine curiosity Skylar had received. Between Dean’s quiet helpfulness with the girls and Angus’s and Dougal’s more overt interest in Skylar—Kyle had found his gaze drifting her way far too many times over the course of the day.
“Thanks for helping out with cleanup. I’ll trade you.” Hayden handed him an empty trash bag. “You keep that up, people won’t stop talking.”
“People are talking?” Kyle pretended this was news. But he innocently asked, “About what?” for the fun of it.
Hayden shot him a look.
Kyle chuckled, doing his best to act like he hadn’t been caught openly staring at Skylar. He had been. One hundred percent. He seemed to be stuck in her gravitational pull... Plus, he’d never seen her with her hair down or wearing a dress... Not that it mattered what she was wearing. To him, she was always beautiful. Hell. He was making excuses? It was simple. No matter how hard he tried not to look, he was going to. She was beautiful—even more so when she smiled. Like she was now, listening to Brynn and Lizzie and seeming, at least outwardly, at ease with things.
“What’s the holdup with you two?” Hayden asked.
It was Kyle’s turn to shoot his brother a look.
“I know you.” Hayden wasn’t in the least put off. “She’s different. The way you look at her, act around her...” He pointed at him. “You’re different.”
“We’ve barely known each other for a week.” Kyle ran a hand along the back of his neck. “You’re seeing things.” As brush-offs went, it was pretty lame.
“Sure. Right. Okay.” Hayden waited before saying, “We’re repairing the windmill in the north field tomorrow. If you’re up for it, we could use another set of hands.”
Kyle nodded. “I’m up for it.” He’d always found peace while working with his hands. It required concentration—enough so that there was no room in his brain for other things. Things like Skylar and Chad and wanting Skylar and knowing he didn’t deserve her...
“Is it Chad?” Hayden asked.
Dammit. It was a little unnerving to realize his older brother could still read him, even after all these years.
“You think he’d have a problem with it?” Hayden pushed.
It was on the tip of his tongue to dodge the question. “Hell yes.” He sighed. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Not offense but...Chad’s gone.” Hayden frowned. “I’d think he’d rather you were with Skylar and the girls instead of someone else. He knew you. Trusted you. Put his life in your hands... He’d know you’d take care of his family better than anyone else could.” He cleared his throat. “If that’s what you want, that is.”
Kyle shook his head. It’s not that simple. Maybe it was the look on his brother’s face or the crushing weight of his burden, but the words slipped out before he realized he was saying them. “Chad’s death? I wasn’t there. I should have been. But I wasn’t.” He ran a hand along the back of his neck. “I’m the reason she’s a widow. I’m the reason she’s had to face everything alone...” He stalked to the end of the porch, needing space.
Hayden’s boots echoed, following him. “What happened?”
Kyle swallowed, staring out over the rolling hills instead. He couldn’t look his brother in the eye. “He went in, blind, because I wasn’t there.”
Hayden waited, quiet—but there—at Kyle’s side.
“We’d gone to this school.” He swallowed. “A goodwill mission. Take a bunch of stuffed animals, tell bad jokes, make the kids smile—get the locals to trust us.” He gripped the handrail. “Chad missed his girls something fierce. The twins at least. He never knew about Greer.” That was a throat punch. “He had a good time. It had been a good damn day.”
Hayden’s hand r
ested on his shoulder.
“The next day, the school was shelled and Chad went...” He shook his head again, anger and guilt and grief bouncing off one another. “We’d been playing basketball. I got laid out—busted my head. I was getting stitches while he was running into that damn school... He said he’d heard kids crying, needing help and he had to go in...”
“And he did.” It was Skylar’s voice. Skylar. Not Hayden.
Dammit. He pressed his eyes shut. Shit. He drew in a deep breath and turned to face her. How did you apologize for something like this? “Skylar...” His throat closed off, clamping down so hard he stared at the ceiling overhead until the pressure eased.
“I’ll... I’m...” Hayden sighed. “I’m going.” He spun on his heel and headed away.
Skylar was close then, the spring breeze awash with her scent. “He went into the school? That’s where he stepped on the...” Her voice wavered.
Before they’d shelled the school, land mines had been placed around the periphery—knowing the soldiers would come. They’d used those kids as a trap...
“You think it was your fault?” Skylar asked.
“Skylar, I know it was.” He stared down at her then, knowing she’d be angry, knowing she’d be hurt.
“How? How are you responsible for the land mines?” she asked, confused.
“I wasn’t there to stop him.” He looked beyond her, at Mya and Brynn stacking their crayons on Jet’s head—all smiles and laughter. His mother stood nearby with Greer sound asleep in her arms. “He should be here today.”
“He should.” She nodded, coming to stand beside him. Her hands gripped the handrail so hard her knuckles were white.
Kyle watched the range of emotions shifting across her features. This wasn’t the way he’d planned on telling her. He’d wanted to be careful with his words—to be prepared. He sure as hell hadn’t wanted to have this conversation on the back porch of his family home while his family and friends were in earshot.
“But he’s not,” she whispered. “There’s no changing that.” Her indrawn breath was sharp, catching, before she added, “And it has nothing to do with you.”
“I should have—”
“Kyle, you think you being there would have stopped him?” She faced him then, her gaze pinning his. “Do you think you could have stopped him? You knew him. I knew him. Nothing would have stopped him.” She paused, blinking rapidly.
“I could have tried,” he ground out.
“If you’d been there, you’d likely have met the same fate.” There were tears in her eyes. “He made it back to the base... That’s where you spoke to him about me...and the girls?”
Kyle nodded, doing his best to hold back the images. The Humvee, the blood, Chad—in pieces, the chaos and panic and acceptance that this was it. That was the worst of it. Sitting there, letting Chad talk, knowing there wasn’t a damn thing Kyle could do to stop the inevitable. “He had to know you’d all be okay.” Once Kyle had given his word, Chad stopped fighting. He’d trusted Kyle to follow through.
She nodded, her gaze searching his as she whispered, “And you promised him we would be.”
“Yes.” He forced the word out.
“Chad knew what he was doing—he had to do it.” She shivered, hugging herself. “I don’t blame you so, please, stop blaming yourself. You’ve honored your word to him. More than honored it.” Her attention wandered, her eyes scanning the distant hill. “You don’t need to take care of us and you certainly don’t owe us anything else. You do need to start living your own life—one that’s not based on a promise you’ve already kept.” She straightened.
“But I want to—”
“Next week, things will change.” She kept on. “Buzz said I’ll get use of the clinic van, so you won’t be taxiing me and the girls around anymore. Penny Hodges, Dean’s mom, would love to watch the girls three days a week. She’s a retired teacher, did you know that?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “And Angus mentioned something about a rental house in town... So, soon, we’ll be out of your hair.”
He wasn’t prepared for the disappointment that gripped him. “All that happened today?”
“Like you said, small-town folk take care of each other. Good, right?” she asked, smiling at him. “The house won’t be ready for a month or so, but at least you know we won’t be underfoot forever.”
Which didn’t help. If anything, it was worse. It had never occurred to him that she’d leave. Why would she?
“There’s no rush.” The edge in his voice was sharp. “I mean...” He cleared his throat. “You and the girls don’t need to rush off. There’s plenty of room and, considering all the changes you’ve made the last week, take some time and catch your breath.” Don’t go.
“Thank you.” She nodded. “You’re right. We won’t leave right away.”
“Momma,” Brynn called, waving at her.
Skylar held up one finger. “I’m going to take them home and get them cleaned up. It’s getting late and they need dinner, a bath, and bed.”
“You need a hand—”
“No. I mean it, Kyle. You don’t owe me anything else—that includes your time. Do something for yourself. I don’t know. Go out?” She shook her head, nodding toward the girls. She paused then, and turned back. “Have some fun, something that doesn’t include diapers or coloring.” She smiled. “It’s been so long, you might have forgotten how to do that.”
He stared after her, grappling with the amount of information she’d just unloaded. Being independent was important to her—but he hadn’t realized that meant looking for a new place to live. Was she unhappy here? His place was nothing special but, he’d hoped, it had everything they’d need to be comfortable.
Why was she suddenly so invested in him going out? Did she think that’s what he wanted? Or that he’d sacrificed his social life because of them? Or was she tired of him being underfoot? If that was the case, then her interest in moving out also made sense.
He ignored the ache in his chest and focused on cleaning up.
He gave Brynn and Mya good-night hugs and managed a curt nod when Skylar waved before they walked out the back gate and along the path to his home—with Jet trailing behind.
“You done here?” Buzz asked. “I’m heading over to the Watering Hole. Wanna come? Play some pool? Drink a few beers? Take a break?”
“Sure.” Maybe getting some distance and perspective would help. Since he’d rolled up in front of Frank Kline’s house, he’d spent the majority of his time with Skylar and the girls. Maybe she was right, maybe they did need space... Or maybe it was too late and he’d already fallen for Skylar Davis.
Chapter Eleven
Skylar flipped through the brochure she’d received from the audiologist in Austin. They wanted her to read over everything so she’d be prepared when she and Mya went for the first appointment later that month. The brochure laid it all out there, in black and white. Not only was it a breakdown in how surgical candidates were determined, it went through the cochlear implant process, recovery, device activation, and care of patient and the device. She’d read over it, front to back, several times now—so that wasn’t the real reason she was sitting up. The real reason had nothing to do with Mya’s surgery or her upcoming appointment and everything to do with the fact that it was after two in the morning and Kyle wasn’t home.
Every time she thought about Kyle with...with anyone it left a horrible hollowness in her chest. She’d told him to go because Kyle’s happiness mattered. He was a good guy. No, he was the best. That’s why, even though it would never happen, there was a part of her that wanted his happiness to include her and the girls. Watching him with the girls made her happy. It’d been a long time since she’d felt happiness. Even longer since she’d been overcome with longing.
His kiss had woken up a part of her she’d almost forgotten. Now all it took was a casu
al touch or a lingering glance and she was replaying the feel of his hands on her and the press of his lips... She ran her fingers over her lips. Oh, stop. She shook her head. One kiss shouldn’t have her weak-kneed and her heart thumping. I’m a mother three times over. She needed to remind herself that was the whole reason she was here: Kyle had promised Chad he’d take care of her. That was Kyle’s motivation.
That was before she’d heard his guilt-ridden confession on the back porch today. He felt responsible for Chad’s death. It wasn’t true. Chad did what he’d felt he had to do but Kyle couldn’t see it that way. If something were to happen between them, even if she set aside his promise to Chad, now there was the added concern that his misplaced guilt was the reason he stayed with her. Guilt or duty... Neither was love.
He should be out having fun. This was good. This was what she wanted. He had a right to a life of his own, something she and the girls were getting in the way of. How could they not be? Kyle was pretty much the perfect catch—handsome, bighearted, loyal, and kind. But he couldn’t exactly meet someone else when he was chasing Brynn around, coloring with Mya, or making faces at Greer.
The memory of Greer cradled in those muscular arms still made Skylar’s stomach tighten.
Stop it.
She scanned over the brochure, ran a hand over her face and stood to get a glass of water. At the sound of a truck door and the beat of boots on the wooden plank porch, Skylar panicked. Should she run to her room before he caught her here? What possible excuse could she come up with for being up at this hour? Other than I’m waiting for him. The door swung open...
“Skylar?” Kyle paused inside the door, a furrow creasing his brow. “Is Greer awake?”
“She just went to sleep.” Which was a lie. Greer had been asleep for hours. “I was...getting some water.” She ran her hand over her hair, wishing she’d braided it back, wishing she wasn’t in her old cotton nightgown—tingling with awareness. From the dark stubble lining his jaw to his heavy-lidded gaze, Skylar wasn’t sure which of his features she found most appealing. All of them. All of him. She swallowed.
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