Why indeed, she thought, when upon Daddy’s return she would just have found out he was lying? “Fine,” she said, “maybe it’s true. But we face lawsuits all the time. That’s why we have a legal department.”
“This is different. There’s a mole inside the firm. Your father is the named defendant. There is jail time involved, not to mention the scandal.”
“Well, what do you propose we do?”
After swallowing her revulsion, she worked out with him that Daddy would remain in Chicago until Monday, when he’d surrender in person before a judge. This way, they could keep it out of the papers, or at least confined to the business section. Amory was of course confident, he said, having tortured her sufficiently, that there had been no actual wrongdoing. That this would blow over.
BUT WOULD IT? When Regan reached street level a half-hour later, the sirens she’d been hearing in the distance were imminent. Red and blue lights lapped at the elevator gate. The block beyond the front windows was now a horror show of police cars and ambulances and people falling off the sidewalks: people from the party, people from other parties, snowy-haired women from surrounding buildings who had come out in slippers, putatively to walk their tiny dogs one last time before dawn, but really just to gawk. And shame on you, Regan, for pretending you’re any purer of heart. Her first instinct, despite the jostle of endorphins and cannabinoids in her bloodstream, was to go ask: Had the police arrived already? Then Miguel had explained, in a chastened voice, that someone had got shot in the park. She wished she could travel back in time and erase the part of herself that had assumed this must be about her father, her problems. “A damn shame,” the doorman said. “A kid.” And there instantly were her own kids, uncarapaced in their beds, with only three locks and Mrs. Santos the sitter to protect them, and all she wanted was to be in motion toward them.
She teetered over to Amsterdam in her heels and caught a cab. She asked the driver to take the Transverse, to avoid the quagmire around Daddy’s. Only after a minute did it occur to her that she’d given the cabbie the address of the old place, out of habit. She leaned forward to request that he take a right when they hit Fifth—they were actually going to Brooklyn. She still thought of it that way, as a request, rather than an instruction. He could just as easily have adopted some alternate route to run the meter up, or left her for dead in a field near one of the airports, having taken her wallet. She used to have a gift for trusting people who claimed to know the way, but wherever you turned now, these nightmare scenarios seemed to fly at you, like tabloid sheets gusting up from the gutters. Thieves posing as cabbies. Killers posing as cops. And now Kid Shot in Park.
Fighting nausea, she pressed her forehead to the window. Through the cold glass and the snow, she could see up to the top of the wall that hemmed in the transverse road. Branches tattooed the sky. A man with a gun moved from tree to tree, tracking her, but not really. When had she become such a fraidy-cat? She had contrived by certain arcane strategies to keep the answer hidden, even from herself. These always involved a man, analysis had helped her to see. There had been Daddy, and then William, and then Keith, each taking over at the point where his predecessor had failed. But now there was no one left to look after her, or to whom anyone who hurt her would have to answer. She herself was the protector, the final line of defense between Will and Cate and the world, and what frightened her she would just have to face down.
The potholes of Fifth Avenue and the cab’s jellied suspension sent her stomach floating again. The snow was tapering off beyond the breath-fogged glass. Down the length of a sidestreet, the lights of Times Square were cold and inhuman. Surprising, how quickly it emptied out once the cameras were off. She had a sudden vision of the city surrendering to wilderness. The snow would blow off to reveal vines climbing townhouses, cougars prowling the subway entrance. Not a natural order of things, but chaos: children turning against parents, cars falling through holes in the street. Commercial districts empty, neighborhoods overrun. Indigents hunkered in alleys, looking up raccoonlike into the sweep of light from passing cars, paws pressed together, faces smeared with blood. And underneath it all, an echoing pop—the sound she now realized she’d heard, too, up there on the balcony, of a gunshot. In a just world, she thought, whoever the kid was would still be ambulatory, and Amory would be the one in that ambulance, screaming off downtown.
She couldn’t get his voice out of her head. This will all blow over. A Blight Zone. Nor could she forget that shot. Bile rose hot in her throat. She made it as far as the expressway, but then had to ask the cabbie to pull over. She hunkered, hands on knees, over a Jersey barrier. She hadn’t closed the door behind her, and from it spilled the dome light and the sound of the radio, which the cabbie must have turned up to cover her retching. It was that one call-in host, the primal screamer, Dr. Whosit, with a Z, not actually a doctor. But was it possible his show was already on, at whatever a.m. on a Saturday? And again: could she really be hearing him rant about crooked financiers, so soon after settling with Amory to keep the indictment under wraps? She could feel the telltale spike of her temperature. The alcohol would not let go of her. She would not, would not put her finger down her throat; it had been half a year since she’d last made herself throw up, and what if her kids could see their mother now? Cars whizzed by behind her, a belt of broken lights printing woozy shadows on the concrete. And then it came, and her streak was ended, so that arguably Regan’s first official act of 1977 was to puke her guts out on the shoulder of the FDR.
11
FOIL-EMBOSSED FRONTALS uncoupling from diadems, confetti dull with soot, business ends of noisemakers trampled under boots, cracked bottoms of disposable champagne flutes, butts of khaki Luckies and pale Pall Malls, nickelbags like punctured lungs, plus bottles: half-full, empty, broken off at the neck for the commission of crimes or smashed into green and brown explosions the red flash of a peep-show sign makes look romantic, in a sleazoid kind of way. Here is the stuff you don’t get on TV. Extraneous footage, B-roll of the aftermath. Broadcast personalities let their Fruit of Islam bundle them into the plush rear cabins of towncars. A union technician in a satin jacket winds cable around his forearm like a hawser; its loose end scrimshaws the snow. By the time the ball, that descended monorchid, goes dark above Times Square, the last masses have drained underground. For a second, the city seems to lean forward and make contact with a future self: ruined, de-peopled, and nearly still. In a sealed hangar, forensic economists move around numbered lots with scales and calipers. Believing themselves to have evolved beyond delusion and loneliness, beyond illness and longing and sex, they hum distractedly and wonder what it all meant. To the extent that they’re right about themselves, they’ll have no way of knowing.
And let us not forget the pigeons, who shouldn’t be active this late, but are. They scrabble over hamburger papers that gust up the building fronts, carry their spoils back to the Public Library lions a few long blocks away. Normally they wouldn’t range this far, but they are agitated tonight by sirens that sing of time out of joint, of things gone terribly awry. Which may explain why a little band of them has taken refuge in the busted skylight of a precinct-house in the quiescent blocks south of Lincoln Center. They choir around a sag of see-through plastic. Their claws make little ticking sounds when they move.
It will take Mercer Goodman some time to identify the egg-like shadows up there, but then, sitting almost directly below the sloppy hole cut into the drop-ceiling of Interrogation Room 2, what does he have if not time? The acoustic tiles around the hole terminate in discolored edges that look less sawed-off than gnawed. Some water has collected in the sagging underbelly of the plastic sheeting stapled there. Every time the wind kicks up, the seams wheeze asthmatically, letting in the bone-cold air, and then in the silence that follows comes the ticking. Mercer shivers. Just behind his eyes is a stippling pressure like the popping of a thousand champagne corks. Or, more accurately, blood vessels. Mashing his hands to his orbitals brings some relief, bu
t for reasons he’s trying not to think about, he doesn’t want to close his eyes. He’s started to wonder, not quite abstractly, whether the hole in the ceiling is some kind of invitation—whether, by standing on the table in front of him, he might reach it and escape—when it occurs to him that the shadows are not eggs, but birds. Which accounts for the smell in here, like sawdust and the unmucked coops of his childhood. It’s as if they’ve been following him.
And in a way, they’re a welcome diversion; this room is in most other aspects an anxious void. At eye level, the white is monolithic: white door, white formica tabletop, white walls to stare at while you wait for a white man to return, the one who brought you here in the back of a car whose doors lacked interior handles. What had the guy’s name been? McMahon? McManus? Mercer had been too rattled to pay attention, but he’s certain it was McSomething. He’d nudged a Styrofoam cup an inch or two forward, as if to get it exactly halfway between himself and his detainee, white upon the white table. His big body had crowded the doorway. Mercer could see beyond it the open-plan office he’d just been escorted through, the wall of glass blocks like ice unwarmed by sunlight, though Mercer’s throat (bitter ash) and eyes (sandpaper-scoured) suggested it had to be near morning. The tubes of light now overhead revealed Detective McSomething’s eyeglasses to be subtly tinted. Their lower regions, the same blue as his irises, reduced his eyes to pupil. Have a seat, he’d said. I’ll be back in five minutes.
Of course, with no clock, Mercer had no way of numbering the minutes. There was no way of knowing how long it had been since, in a fever of compassion, he’d knuckled his dime into the NYTel slot uptown. Was it late enough now that William would be home? If so—had he started to wonder?
Not that Mercer was under arrest. Not yet, anyway. Rather, he appeared to be a casualty of some ambiguity in the term “witness,” which he’d assumed connoted actually witnessing something happening. What he’d witnessed, instead, was what came after, to which the medics who’d answered his call, or the cops themselves, could just as easily have testified. He could see them still, the first responders, emerging from the park grimmer than when they’d gone in. He could see the stretcher, the grotesque bulge of feet under the white sheet. And the outstretched arm, the bloody snow. It was all burned into his eyelids. Hence his effort to focus only on what was here before him.
His hard institutional chair was bolted to the cement, and there was a hole in the table through which the cuffs, had he been wearing cuffs, would have passed. The coffee cup had a nibble missing from its rim. It all contributed to the room’s air of experiment, of elaborate dare. Set into the wall was a mirror that was probably no mirror, and he could imagine three or four cops watching, rumpled, tending to fat. Five bucks says he tries the skylight. No, five bucks he goes for the cup. Five bucks says five more minutes and this nigger’s gonna break down and confess.
Though perhaps this was lingering paranoia from the marijuana they doubtless knew he’d smoked, or a craving on some level for punishment, or the residue of William’s TV shows bleeding through the beaded curtain at night and into his dreams, Baretta and Starsky and Barnaby Jones. Because when the door reopened at last, there was only Detective McSomething again, and the long, low ranks of cubicle walls behind him, dividing the empty cop-shop into offices, nested rectangular hells. “Everything okay in here?” Without waiting for an answer, he dropped his imitation-leather jacket over the back of an empty chair. His revolver’s grip jutted from its holster like a hand eager for a shake.
To be honest, everything was not okay—in addition to being half-deranged with uncertainty, Mercer was now freezing his ass off, and could have put that jacket to good use—but he knew better than to be honest; he could already see how this was going to be.
From the pocket of a garish tropical shirt, a flip-top notebook emerged, and after some theatrical patting of pockets—more delay—so did an eraserless half-pencil familiar from miniature golf and the tops of library card catalogues. “I’m going to ask you some questions now, Mr. Freeman.”
“Goodman.”
“Sure. Goodman.” The cop yawned, as if it were more exhausting to sit on that side of the table in judgment than to sit on this one being judged. Then he proceeded to take down the very same information Mercer had volunteered up on Central Park West, maybe testing to see if the answers would change. Mercer gave his date of birth. “So that makes you, what?”
“Twenty-five.” Or almost twenty-five, but if the guy couldn’t be bothered to do the math …
A sneaker from beneath the table found purchase on the empty chair beside him. The detective levered himself back at a lazy angle. His gum cracked like a flatting tire. Was Mercer supposed to think, Wow, we’re just alike, you and me, or was this simply part of a general lowering of standards, the entropic bent of all things? “I take it you’re a transplant?”
“I’m not from around here, no.”
There was a little crackle of danger as the cop looked up from his pad to see if he was being mocked. No, for whatever reason, McSomething didn’t like him. Paranoia mounted. It was like when you drove past a speed trap and all of a sudden it seemed entirely possible you were carrying a body in your trunk. And did they know this, too? Was the possibility of their knowing one of the scenario’s complex parameters?
Asked for an address, he gave an address.
“That permanent, or … ?”
“I’m staying with a friend until I get my feet under me.” It was a line he’d used on his mother. He couldn’t tell anymore whether or not it was a lie, technically speaking.
“Right, this is coming back to me. And remind me, what was the name of the friend?” The man’s outer-borough inflections had sharpened, the better to convey the vast and widening difference between them. Mercer had heard it before, this special machismo reserved for suspected inverts. You’ll never turn me, fairy! As if Mercer could ever be attracted to so unremarkable a face. Take away the glasses, and it was like the average of every Irish-American face in New York: just so many freckles across the bridge of a just-so-upturned nose. But his cheeks did dimple when he smiled. “Oh, wait, I got it. It’s Bill something. Billy-boy. Bill Wilson.” Mercer had grabbed a surname from a Poe story; if caught, he could claim he’d been misheard. “This is just a roommate deal, right? Just two bosom friends.” The Hawaiian shirt seemed to swell to fill the room, and here was Mercer, tiny, defenseless, free-falling past coconut trees and moonlit water and finding nothing to grab on to.
He blew on his hands. “Can I ask you a question, Detective?”
“You just did.”
Eighteen years on the lee side of C.L. should have been enough to scare resistance out of him. You kept your fool head down. You Yes, sirred and you No, sirred, and you did not give them an excuse. But this was 1976, not 1936—or it was 1977, in the capital of the free world, and he had done nothing wrong. “If you already know this stuff, why go back over it?”
The quiet that followed did not bode well. But then there came a knock from outside, shave and a haircut, and a gray head, much lower than it made sense for any head to be, poked through the widening gap in the door. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
The detective didn’t answer, or even turn around.
“Fantastic.” The door opened wider, and a body followed the head into the room. Given the obstruction of McSomething’s shoulders, not to mention all the other calculations he was in the middle of, it took Mercer a second to puzzle out what wasn’t quite right about the head: it never straightened up. With its bemused eyes, its ruddy billiard-ball cheekbones, its mouth all but vanishing under a thick gunmetal moustache, it appeared to be falling forward, dragging the body after it like an anchor trailing its chain. A metal half-crutch was clipped near the elbow of the newcomer’s neat sportcoat; the dull thud of its distal end on the concrete floor made the pigeons resettle themselves in the skylight. Tick, tick. The other arm hugged a brown paper bag, which the man deposited on the table. Releasing t
he crutch, he gripped the table’s edge and reached across to Mercer with a grin. “Larry Pulaski.”
Mercer took the hand reluctantly. Its knuckles moved in his grip like marbles in a velveteen bag. The man produced three blue deli cups. “You have to go a few blocks to find coffee, this time of night.”
“So where did that come from?” Mercer asked, nodding toward the Styrofoam cup on the table. He’d been helpless to hold it in, another little burst of defiance, and now he braced for Detective McSomething’s big hand to let go of its notepad and dart like a kiss toward his mouth. (And how would he explain his own split lip to William, without revealing where he’d been?) Instead, he got a contemptuous smirk.
“That’s to catch the drip when the skylight leaks. You want to drink pigeon shit, be my guest.”
The older man continued to beam. “Some of my younger colleagues, Mr. Goodman, such as Detective McFadden here, make do with that add-water-and-stir stuff.”
“I don’t see what you’ve got against Nescafé,” McFadden said. “I’m feeling frankly a little what do you call it. Devalued.”
“But dinosaurs like me, we’re set in our ways.”
Pulaski was a detective, too, then, and this must have been part of their patter, their routine. But there was something rusty in it. As the grizzled veteran, Pulaski had too light a touch. And he made McFadden, with his hypnotically Polynesian shirt, seem suddenly less convincing, too. It was as if they’d passed through a wardrobe room on the way here, grabbing whatever was to hand. “So you’re the good cop?”
McFadden turned to his partner. “Mr. Goodman here has decided to play smart.”
“Am I entitled to a lawyer?”
“You see what I mean, Inspector?” To Mercer, he said, “You’re not under arrest, smart guy. No arrest, no lawyer.”
“I’m free to go, then?”
Pulaski’s smile floated above the table like a croupier’s. “I was hoping that with some honest-to-God java we might do this less adversarially, Mr. Goodman. Go ahead, get some kind of statement down, and then get you on your way. I’ve got one light and sweet, one just milk, and one black.” He touched the lid of each of the cups as he named it. “I’m flexible, so I can go either way. Preference, Detective?”
City on Fire Page 11