by Anthology
Staying focused is important. One moment of day dreaming could send me stumbling down and possibly hurt. I can’t take that chance. This is my solidarity. No one can take this from me. The one place I feel at home and make everyone envy me. Me. The person who has no clue how to be this fluid out in the real world.
Nearing the bottom of the hill, I put my legs on cruise control. I should try to enjoy the scenery before this comes to an end. Turning my head a little to the left, I see the bunny slopes. There are a lot of kids out learning how to ski and snowboard. The younger generation seems to catch on quicker. It’s much easier to retain and you’re not as scared to try things. I would love to learn to snowboard. I’m not sure about both my feet being on one board. I have coordination issues all by myself. Two skis, yes I’ve got it. One, I just have a hard time grasping that I could do it. Again, I need to work on my confidence, so this could be another thing I add to my bucket list.
I come to a halt down at the bottom when I see my friends are finally catching up to me. They tend to take it easy and enjoy the ride down at a slower pace. I just can’t seem to take my time. I want to do it well, but quickly. I have one of the fastest times on the mountain, and I’m not ready to give that up. Yet. Maybe when I’m sixty.
Michele is the first one to reach me. “You just can’t enjoy a leisurely run down the slopes, can you Lori?” she says with a smile.
“Oh, I just enjoy it more when I’m flying. There’s a difference when you’re enjoying the scenery versus the freeness I feel when I’m soaring.”
“Wow, that’s deep,” Michele says as she laughs.
“Give me this one thing. It’s the only thing I have for me and that I’m really good at. You see me struggle off the slopes. This is my time to leave all my insecurities at the door and enjoy the moments I get this time of year when the snow falls,” I say with dismay in my voice.
“Lori, I know this is your sanctuary. I’m just giving you a hard time. You’ll find someone you can share this with. I’m sure it will be when you least expect it. Give it time. Maybe he will come find you.”
“Now you’re making this about a guy? I hope you’re right, Michele. I wish it was as easy as it is out on this powder.”
I left it at that and started heading back to the cabin. I need to get these boots off and take a hot shower. We’re going out again tonight, and I’m ready to let loose. This might be a tequila night. Maybe then I will feel less inadequate and just enjoy myself.
After I take my boots and socks off, I lay on my bed. I’m beat and feel like I could pass out. Lying there I decide to grab my phone. I have the urge to check my mail. I’m curious to see if I have any messages from Matt, the guy I’ve been chatting with. Although he’s supposed to be out of town too, maybe he reached out to check in.
Opening up the app on my phone, I feel nervous. I hope he sent me a message, but then if he hasn’t, should I send him a message or will he think I can’t take a weekend without talking to him? I don’t want him to think I’m needy.
Scrolling through my mail, I see something from [email protected]. My heart is starting to speed up. He actually sent me a message. It takes me a moment to actually open it up and read it. I’m trying not to freak out. I click on his name and the message opens.
Hi Lori,
I know you’re out of town and probably not expecting to hear from me, but I wanted to see how you were doing. I hope this doesn’t sound lame or creepy, but I miss our chats throughout the day. I hope you’re having a great time with your friends. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Hope we can chat soon. ~ <3 Matt
How sweet. I feel relieved that he reached out first and is thinking of me. This gives me an opportunity to message him back. I haven’t stopped thinking of him either. I’ll just keep it simple and quick. I don’t want him to think I have a lot of time on my hands.
Hi Matt!
Definitely not lame (maybe a little creepy…lol). Thanks for reaching out. I’ve thought about you and hope you’re having fun on your trip. Miss our chats as well. Hope we can rectify that soon! ~ <3 Lori
I guess I’d better get ready. This girl is ready to have fun and if the smile on my face isn’t proof enough, then I guess I’d better show it. Game on!
Chapter 4
We always end up at Charlie’s. It’s the coolest place in this snow-town. I’m feeling happy and excited hearing from Matt. Nothing can get me down tonight. We both agreed that if we met someone else while we were talking that we would let one another know. Tonight is about having fun, so I’m not even focused on meeting anyone. It’s all about letting loose and being myself. Time to have some fun.
The girls and I head up to the bar and order tequila shots. Just what I need after an awesome day out on the slopes. We all lick our wrists, pour salt on them, and grab a lime to hold. We watch as Don Julio is poured into our shot glasses. My mouth is watering as the last drip hits. Grabbing the shots, we all look at each other and tap our shots together.
“Cheers!”
Lick, drink, and suck.
Slamming our glasses down, we wave the bartender back over, so we can grab a beer. It’s definitely a Corona kind of night. I’m ready to go chill in the back near the band with the rest of the group. There’s a cool long wooden chair with comfortable padding that fits six people. Perfect for us. It faces toward the front of the bar where you can see everyone. People-watching is one of the fun things we do. We give each person a story and see which one is the most believable.
The one with the worst story has to buy a round of drinks. I’ve been pretty lucky and usually end up in the top two best stories. Poor Michele always ends up in the bottom. Tonight is not her night, so she’s buying us another round. While she’s getting the drinks, the band is getting ready to start their next set. I’m feeling good and ready to dance the night away.
Sitting here looking around, the girls are all up dancing with the guys. I keep telling myself to get my ass up and dance, but I’m waiting for that perfect song. At least I keep telling myself I’m going to. Okay, I’m going to finish my beer and do it. Giving myself a pep talk’s going to work, right? If not, then this song will get me moving. This band is singing “Cake by the Ocean.” I absolutely love this song. You just can’t help but move.
I land my ass on the dance floor and start moving. Good thing I’ve had a few because I’m dancing like I’m a hip hop artist. It may or may not be pretty. Watch out So You Think You Can Dance! I’m feeling the music and having a great time. Not caring what anyone thinks. I decide to look around and see how many people are actually watching this head-on collision that I call dancing. Not many people are paying attention. My friends are now hanging out with the ski team. My face finds this guy sitting at the bar, staring at me with a huge smile on this face. At least I think he’s staring at me. I smile, turn around and see that yes, he’s staring right at me.
Wow. This guy is gorgeous and is looking right at me. I can’t help but take another glance. He has short brown hair and the front goes up into a short faux hawk. From what I can see he has a little stubble on his face which makes him even sexier. He’s wearing a snug black t-shirt with jeans. He has one foot up on the edge of the bar stool. I think I’m hypnotized because I can’t seem to look away, but I make myself look the other way. I’m probably drooling, so I close my mouth and touch my lips.
Damn, I feel like an idiot. I need to just stay focused and pretend as if I didn’t see him. Keep dancing to the music and ignore the guy. I’m sure he’s just being polite. This would be a great time for another shot, so I decide to go back to my seat and see if a waitress will come over to me. I am not going up to the bar. There’s no way I can go up there now. I don’t even have my wing girl to back me up. Okay, I’ve got this.
I wave a waitress over and order my shot of tequila. She brings me shot glass with the salt already around the top and a lime on the side. I grab it and slam it. I don’t even think I tasted the salt. My nerves are sta
rting to get to me, so I need to calm down before I become the clumsy girl.
The band continues to play some fun dance songs, so I decide to go back out there and tune out the rest of the bar. I’m here to have fun by drinking and dancing. Unfortunately a slow song comes on. I love this song, so I can’t seem to drag myself away. I don’t have Bieber fever, but this song is pretty awesome. “No Pressure: featuring Big” has a great beat, although it’s slow. I move my hips to the music and close my eyes.
I’m feeling the warmth of a body behind me. I don’t want to open my eyes. I’d rather just feel and see how close they are going to get. I lift my arms up and sway like I’m slowly gravitating down the mountain, envisioning myself on my skis in the snow, where I’ve got control. The person behind me has gotten closer and has put his hands on my hips, slowly moving lower to my thighs. My eyes snap open and I turn my head.
Carmel eyes are staring back at me, hungry. It’s the guy from the bar. I don’t know if I want to smile or run. Instead, I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. I’m not even sure if I just licked my lips. I should probably run away, but I’m going to own this moment. He came to me, so why not?
We continue to dance together closely, my back to his front. He takes my hand and raises it up to put around the back of his neck. All I feel is warmth from my fingers to my toes. It might be hot in here, but he is making it burn. There’s an intense feeling starting in my stomach and making its way down south.
I place my other hand on my stomach and slowly work my way down to my thigh. I would love to rub down the middle and get off right here on the dance floor, but I don’t really want to embarrass myself. I would never be able to come back here and face these people. People up here on the mountain already think I’m hopeless. Right now I just want to feel and pretend no one else is in the room.
The next thing I feel is his breath against the back of my neck. Damn, if I could just feel those lips against my skin. I start to shiver just thinking about it.
“Are you cold?” he whispers softly.
Let’s see, how do I put it? Sorry, no, I’m not cold. It’s you making me shiver. Yeah, that doesn’t sound cheesy at all.
I decide shaking my head back and forth instead of talking would be best, since I’d most likely slip up and say something stupid. I’m not ready to have this guy walk away from me. I know I may not know him, but this feeling I have right now is indescribable.
We are in perfect sync, moving together as one. It’s like we’ve done this many times before. There’s this vibe pulling us closer together. He’s like a drug, making me feel high. Something is taking over my body because I don’t know how I’m doing this right now. Maybe, I’m having an out of body experience.
The song is ending, so I need to figure out what I’m going to do. Do I keep dancing? Will he want to keep dancing with me? Will he ask me to have a drink with him? God, I hate this part. I know I was ready to have some fun tonight, but I’m nervous and my mind is somehow wandering back to Matt. When the music was playing, I had no complete thoughts in my head. Now, I just have to bring Matt into this little discussion I’m having with myself. Wonderful. I’m so going to mess this up.
I’m just going to go back to the cabin and sleep this off. I can’t do this right now even if I really want to.
“Wanna have a drink with me, um… sorry, what’s your name?”
“Thank you for the dance, but I need to go. Maybe some other time if I see you around.”
“You will definitely see me around. Meet me tomorrow? I would love to find out more about you.”
I pull away and start walking away, but slightly turn to look back at him.
“Maybe. If it’s meant to be, I’ll see ya,” I say with a smile.
He winks at me and I walk away.
Just like that.
Chapter 5
Waking up the next morning, my brain is fuzzy, but I could’ve sworn I danced with the sexiest man I’ve ever met in my life. I start to wonder if last night was a dream, but slowly I’m realizing it wasn’t. I actually danced, and did very little talking, with a guy whose name I don’t even know.
It was definitely exciting, but I just couldn’t find out where things were going to lead last night. My confidence was starting to falter, and I just knew I’d probably mess it up. Putting myself in that position was not going to help me overcome my insecurities.
From what I could tell, he had a deep, sexy voice. Although very few words were spoken, he had me mesmerized.
There was one moment when he asked to see me again, and I thought of Matt. His voice sounded somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t tell for sure. There’s no way it could be him. He’s with his friends somewhere. I didn’t even ask where he was going. I didn’t want to be that girl.
I’m tempted to send him a message anyway and ask him where he went this weekend. I’m sure I can make it not sound like I’m stalking him. The attraction I had with this guy last night was intense. Although I know Matt and I have a small connection, we haven’t met in person, so I don’t really know if we’ll have this same electrical attraction I have with this other guy. Do I want to miss out on finding the one thing I’ve been looking for or do I take a chance?
Here I thought I’d never have this moment, and now it’s happening to me twice at the same time. Neither one of us are in a committed relationship with each other. We did decide to not miss out on an opportunity like this if we met someone. If anything happened, we agreed to be honest and let the other person know, so we could move on.
Matt could meet someone this weekend and it could be over. I mean, we really aren’t together yet since we haven’t met. It’s really hard when this guy is here in the flesh and I haven’t even seen Matt. I don’t even know what he looks like.
I’m starting to second guess this because what if I don’t have an attraction to him at all? There has to be some kind of sexual chemistry between us. We know there’s something there when we talk, but eventually it needs to be more.
I guess that’s what dating’s all about. You don’t decide to become exclusive until you know for sure if you have an intellectual and physical attraction. I know I’m over-thinking this, but I’m scared of making the wrong decision.
Either way, I know I have a friend in Matt. We are starting things off by getting to know each other first. People build great relationships when they’re friends first, right? It makes it okay for me to send him a message then and see how he’s doing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me checking in on my friend. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Hey you,
Just checking in and seeing how the rest of your weekend is going. I decided to let go a little last night and really enjoyed myself. Had a few drinks, along with a little tequila, and some dancing. The band was awesome and might have made a new friend. You?
Thinking of you – Lori
Well, that wasn’t obvious at all. Not sure if he’ll pick up on my vagueness or not, but I’m sure he’ll understand what I’m trying to say without really saying it. I hear a ping right away notifying me that I received a message. Dang, that was fast. Now, I’m nervous. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I guess I’ll find out. I open up the message and read his reply.
Good morning.
A friend, huh? Maybe a little tequila? I’m thinking you had a great night. I had a few drinks as well. Funny, I danced with a possible new friend. It was…interesting. Remember whatever happens, happens. No regrets. Enjoy yourself and we’ll chat tomorrow when we both get back into town. Agreed?
Enjoy your day – Matt
Okay, he definitely understood what I was saying. It kind of hurts my heart that he danced with someone last night too. I can’t be jealous when I did the same thing. I know it’s more losing him than anything. We have to do what makes us happy. If it’s meant to be, then things will work out.
I’ll see what happens tonight, and we’ll talk tomorrow to see if things are going to continue. Damn, my stomach is
sinking right now. My eyes fill with tears, not knowing what’s going to happen. I feel a tear slide slowly down my face. I wipe it away and stand up. I can’t let this get me down.
I’m going to hang out with my friends this afternoon. They decided to head back home tonight because they have a concert to go to. Keith Urban is playing at the Moda Center in Portland. They invited me to go, but I would rather spend my time on the mountain. I like country music, but I’m selective on who I’ll go see.
We decided to go to a few different pubs around here before they take off. It’s one of the things we like to do whenever we go out of town. Ever since Jaime’s boyfriend started up a brewery a couple years ago, we try to hit up the local breweries. It’s kind of like wine tasting, being able to taste the different flavors and enhance our taste buds. It’s fun and we enjoy it.
It’s a fairly beautiful day here up on the mountain. The chilly forty degree weather isn’t so bad when the sun is shining. You can still get a nice sun burn at thirty-six-hundred feet. My friend Cindy found that out a few years back. She never leaves the cabin without her sunscreen on. You really have to be careful especially when it’s windy. You don’t realize you’re still susceptible to a sun burn in the winter.
Cindy, Jaime, Michele, and I are all ready to go with our jeans, boots, and sweatshirts on. The guys decide to go for one last run down the mountain. I’m a little jealous I’m not going with them, but I need a little girl time.
A shuttle is out waiting for us. It’s going to take us around, so none of us have to drive. We were lucky there was a brewery crawl scheduled for this weekend. There were just enough spots left to sign us up.
“This was a great idea, Lori. I don’t know why we’ve never done this before now,” Jaime says as we all find our seats.