by Edit Torma
Hard love
Love, belonging, differences
1
Henrietta Fishburne couldn’t have enough of scrutinizing her little daughter’s face when she was holding the five-week-old Loretta in her arms. What did she inherit from her and what from Laurence in her look? She laughed in a low voice when it came into her mind that she used to scrutinize this same thing on the little Heni too when she was a baby, and she used to love think of the younger little girl’s twin, Laurence, that way that he was made of us too: made of the man she loved and of herself.
- I love that our child there is in me! – Heni began to speak happily, stroked her expectant belly, stood to her tiptoe and kissed her husband’s face. They was still expecting their first little daughter, and they just were walking towards a shop after leaving their car, to shop for the baby – I always wanted a child, but that way, that she is from the man I love, it’s even much better – she was rejoicing at this like a little girl. She was in this wonderful mood since she got to know that she was expecting a baby from Laurence.
- I have hadn’t got so lovely wife like you so this little girl surely going to be that lovely too! – the man cheerfully embraced her with one of his arms.
- I surely going to seem to be pretty old-fashioned but I want to buy pink clobbers for her but only because I love this color! – his wife was grinning when they arrived in the shop.
- OK, the essence is just they should be comfortable to the baby – Laurence began looking at the swaddling-clothes. They came out with a heap of clobbers after one hour later.
- It’s good that I have a so experienced husband like you! – Heni continued it, still in that mood.
- I’m also happy about you also like children so much like me – the man said more seriously after they got in the car, and he stroked his wife’s face’s and hair’s edge.
- But, by the way, I love that you’re such an experienced, successful man who people can look up to! – she embraced Laurence, with being an ardent supporter of him, and he kissed her – But I really did would like to have some children at least only to take care of them, even if they aren’t mine, because they’re so sweet, or I don’t know why – she reflected.
- I maybe see myself in them. I didn’t really have childhood, and I maybe would like to give them their due to live a complete life, or live at all. To they aren’t short of life like I was short of freedom, and of life what acting learning deputized for my life - they were just embracing each order and talking on the back seat while on the other side of the limo’s wall what was let down, the chauffeur was taking them home. The moment came three months later. Heni was sitting in front of the TV, and when the show came to an end, and she stood up from the sofa, her labor pains began. Laurence already went to sleep earlier, but he woke up by the scream and hurried downstairs from the bedroom, to the living –room.
- I think the childbirth began! It’s hurting me so much! – his wife began to speak, sounding lamenting. Laurence thought by this scream that something trouble happened to Heni.
- Calm down! Only think about how much we have wanted to see the baby!
- I know that I planned to think about it this time too! I knew that it is going to very hurt me but it’s so hard thinking about something else this time! – she said between two labor pains. She used to be terrified of this day with looking forward to their common child is born. The man took her to the hospital to they give Heni something strong painkiller, even if the time of childbirth hasn’t came, and to they got know why she had got so huge pains. His wife was crying and whining in the car, next to him.
- Is it surely that thing? Or is there something problem? – she asked.
- I think there isn’t anything, just the baby is coming, but they surely can help you if it’s hurting you so much, why would you be suffering at home…
- I’m bearing it very wrong, ant I? – she asked with guilty conscience in her voice – But I’m really looking forward to see our little daughter, not only because that suffering is going to come to an end then! – she gave excuses with sweet, convincing voice.
- You aren’t the reason of it’s hurting you so much. By the way, if the labor pains are so frequent like these, you’re surely going to be past it soon – Laurence was comforting her while he embraced and helped her to get out of the car. In the hospital it was found out that it was really the time of childbirth, but it also came out soon that the baby used to lying in a wrong way in her so they had to do Caesarian section. Laurence was waiting in the corridor till the end while Heni was in one of the rooms, and they immediately began the Caesarian section, so he couldn’t meet her before it. They just informed the man about the situation and about they had to hurry, he is going to able to go into the room to his wife and daughter after they finished it. He already has lived his three children’s birth but it hasn’t necessary to do Caesarian section at any occasion.
- What risks does it involve? How much chance is there not going to be any problem? – he asked the doctor in the corridor.
- This present case isn’t such a dangerous situation. There is big probability not going to be any complication and everything is going to be successful – t he blondish-brown haired woman doctor, who was wearing a ponytail, was smiling encourage way, and tolerantly because of the man’s anxiety. Everything went really easily. The only reason was to do immediately the Caesarian section; there wasn’t almost any risk in the expectation of this. After they finished it, they showed the little girl to the parents. Heni suddenly didn’t know if she has had even huger experience in her life than when she saw that little, sweet, unprotected tiny tot for the first time who was a mixture of Laurence and her. Maybe she even wasn’t happier when they became a couple, or at their wedding, or when they got know that she was expectant. She happily took her tiny hand and was stroking her face.
- I don’t even feel I would be weak after the operation – she was smiling through her tears while was looking at Laurence. That was also special wonder for her that she has became a mother. It was an incredible experience.
- Maybe I’m feeling it for the first time that I’m also happy about we have a common child too, from us – the man was smiling – If I just look at her, I feel that she makes us to even more belong together – he was stroking the baby and gave a peck to his wife. After Heni and the little girl could leave the hospital, Laurence taught her wife everything about how to look after an infant, and Heni enjoyed every minutes she spent with them, and that there was that adorable, sweet baby who was hers, but the main thing was that she was happy about that she was Laurence’s and her child.
When the four-year-old Heni stepped into the room, she didn’t even disturb her high spirits. Her dark brown hair was in two ponytails; her bright yellow dress stressed the nice color of her half-blooded skin. She loved look after her as much as after the even more younger ones, she acquainted her with the wonderful moments of educating children by a bit other aging group. The twenty-three-year-old mom enjoyed that she could clothe her little daughter that way how she liked it, however, but already the younger Heni also intervened in choosing clothes.
- Mom, you said we’re setting!
- Don’t shout, Loretta has fallen asleep! – she whispered and put the baby into the cradle what was designed with pale pink and white colors. She always spoke to the children in Hungarian, and Laurence in English, how they agreed with each other on this. By so doing they are going to speak both of these languages.
- So are you coming? – the little Heni said already in a lower voice but still didn’t whisper. Her parents have begun to detect on her the jealousy towards the babies, but, because of the many filming and
preparing for them, they hadn’t have time to talk about this.
They went to the living-room and getting their sandals on, the mother called the babysitter to come to take care of the little ones. Jenny lived in the adjoining house so she came whenever when they left the children at home alone. Comparatively unreliable magazines wrote something like that the eighteen-year-old babysitter had a relationship with the married actor because she lived so near him and often went to go to their house because of the children, but almost nobody believed it, and Heni was also sure of there wasn’t a word of truth in it. She trusted her husband hundred percent. If he cheated her, even if once, she maybe would stop him because she loved him that way how she had got to know him and faithfulness also belonged to this. But she sometimes missed him almost unbearably when he was on filming through months and came home only on some weekends. And he was also on filming now when they should talk over the little Heni’s jealousy towards the babies. She mentioned the subject to the little girl during they were going to shopping.
- How many times have I told you that the little ones are sleeping, but you just continued the rowdiness by your shouts and plays! – broke out of her, sounding desperate when they almost arrived at the next crosswalk. They were going on foot because there was a store not far away, and, by the way, Heni couldn’t drive.
- But you, and dad when he is at home, always take care of only them.
- You know that it isn’t true. We look after you too, just there isn’t so much time for it nowadays – Heni said nervously when they were going through the crosswalk.
- And why don’t you have time for me if you have time for them?
- They’re still very young so they need our care more.
- Why would they need it more?! – the little girl was already shouting.
- Well, OK, we’ll talk it over later, when you have already calmed down – the mother said also nervously, and they didn’t even talk to each other during the rest time till the store. Then, when they arrived at the store and Heni was choosing some clothes for Loretta and the little Laurence too, the little girl began to speak again.
- You said we’re buying some clothes for me!
- But I didn’t say that we aren’t going to buy anything for the little ones, and, because we’re already here, I’m buying for them too what are necessary – then the little girl threw the baby clobbers out of the shopping basket.
- Now I really won’t by you anything, just what we have already chosen! – the mother was nervously taking the bedspreads, rattles and baby clothes back into the shopping basket, and, with her other hand, she was strongly holding the little girl’s hand not to try to throw her younger brother’s and sister’s clobbers to the floor again. At the cash desk, she gave a lot more bill of one hundred dollars than she had to, it was lucky that the cashier didn’t abuse the situation, she said Heni didn’t have to give that much money, and gave the rest of it back – You see, it was also because of you! – Heni remarked after she left the store with the little girl – I almost left there more money than the cost of your clobbers!
- Why are you who is angry while you deal only with that cute babies and you got bored with me? – Heni took a breath and tried to calm down.
- They aren’t less cute than you and we didn’t get bored with you – she s said, sounding already much kindlier but it was like the little girl didn’t even hear it.
- And why do you rebuke me when I’m noisy and they sleep and why don’t you rebuke them when they cry loudly and I sleep?
- They still don’t understand anything we say them.
- And why do you look after only them?!
- I already said we also look after you.
- But much less than after them!
- Because they’re still so young that they can’t do almost anything without us.
- So why don’t you call Jenny oftener to look after them?!
- Because we are their mom and dad and they should be mainly with us.
- But I’m not mainly with you!
- But you’re with us a lot too, only less because you already learned that we are your parents but they still have to remember this – it took a bit long time, the little Heni was picking a fight with her during all the way, but, after a while, she succeed to convince her of the babies needed them more than she needed them, but soon, when they’re going to be older, they’re going to have more time for her too and they already loved her as much as them.
When they already almost arrived in home, they saw that Laurence’s car was arriving. The little girl was apparently happy about this because they haven’t met for weeks, he came home only when Loretta and Laurence was born. Heni was much happier about this than their little daughter. But the situation was different then… She just talked with their common daughter that common business over, what already both of them planned, because she believed that her husband is going to arrive only some days later! But she nor could stand some days what the little Heni did against the babies.
2
- Hi! I believed you come only some days later… - the wife began to speak with a fake smile when they had also arrived and met in the living-room.
- It’s better that you haven’t become an actor too – the man answered surprise – There is something problem?
- Well… just…. – Heni was apparently considering about what to say and how to say something.
- So you don’t want to tell me.
- I don’t even know…
- You know that you can tell me anything.
- Yeah, I’m just afraid of you’ll be angry…
- What do you mean? – Laurence asked startled.
- I’ll tell you later. I didn’t count on you’ll come so soon like this so I didn’t have enough time to get ready to this conversation – Laurence left her wife alone in the middle of the living-room and went upstairs to his study. He was happy about he could come home earlier to his wife and children, at this point, Heni conducted herself with him as she would hide something from him. He hardly dares to word even to himself what this all thing could be. He called Tom Cruise on phone to meet in the deserted park where they did many times, with the other stars, to passer-byes who would identify them, don’t harass them, where he was with Heni on their first date, because of this too.
They arrived after a half an hour and sat down to one of the benches.
- Would you tell me at last, why did you call me there? Because I feel like it isn’t going to be a simple chat.
- Heni conducted herself such a queer when I came home. She always used to be happy about I come home, and now she didn’t even answer what her problem is. I’ve thought about asking my closer friends to shadow her but I still owe them after they tried to buy every copy of Montana’s film.
- You think she cheats you almost at the same time when the children were born? – Tom was wondering.
- It’s also pretty luck that till now that I was that one who a girl needed who was twenty-nine y ears younger than me. Would you follow her when she lives the house alone?
- I? Why won’t you engage a private eye? Or why won’t you be you who’ll go? I don’t mean it would be a too big task, I’m just asking it.
- If I told it one more person and those who know what his job is, saw while he was going after Heni, it could leak out and I already have to get ready to the next filming. And since we live in Hollywood too, also you are near to us. But, of course, I’m going to repay you for this one day if you will do it. I’m not going to wait that long with it like with my close friends, it’s naturally that we help each order when there is a big trouble but I don’t even meet you too much nowadays and I met you to ask you for something.
- They have called you to another movie already again? At the end, you’re going to be a bigger star than me! – Tom was laughing appreciatively.
- So will you do it?
- In the end, there isn’t much of the rest of my script what I have to memorize to my newest movie and the filming is
going to start only next month.
Heni tried to call Laurence to ask him where he went without any word after he left the study but his phone was turned off. She went back into the children’s room, and the children made her forget all of her problems. She happily dressed Loretta and the little Laurence into their new clothes while she was highly delighted with them, then she still was holding them in her arms long and was hugging and stroking them. Later she gently put them to the twin-carriage and went with them and with the little Heni to the playground.
- What was in n the nursery school yesterday? – Heni began to speak cheerfully when they set. It was Saturday and she didn’t even ask it yesterday.
- I was playing with Allie when Chris wanted to seize my doll and Ms. Trustworthy rebuked me because I shouted while I was who was right!
- That can quite easily happen. The nursery school teacher surely couldn’t see what that boy had done. Don’t even be nervous because of something like this – Heni stroked the little girl’s head.
- I don’t even care for it – the little Heni was smiling.
- So that’s OK. And you nor should be angry with that Chris. He surely likes you and wanted to awake your attention – Heni was smiling when said it, while they were going on the long stony way what leaded to the playground.
- But he ripped my doll’s hair out!
- It isn’t a trouble, I’ll buy another one for you homewards - they’ve arrived. Heni sat down to one of the empty benches – Anyway, you deserve it because you already understand that I love you as much as your younger brother and sister – she said and embraced the little girl – Well, go to play, then I’ll buy a nice doll for you! – the little Heni cheerfully ran away, and was already showing the tricks on the climbing frames to her mom. It wasn’t necessary already to rebuke her because one of these would be too dangerous to her, she already could conducting herself well. Loretta and the little Laurence were quietly sleeping in the baby carriage during it, and when Heni was taking the children backward, they went into a toy shop, and Heni bought the promised doll for the little girl, what the little Heni chosed.