Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  "You, too. I heard you got some skills." I nodded toward his board.

  "Some, but I'm always up for learning something new." Parker glanced toward Chloe. "I'm going to go wax my board in the lodge. I'll meet you guys by the lift."

  "Alright. See you up there." She turned to me and smiled. "You look good."

  "Yeah? Same man I was yesterday, I think." I shrugged and turned to walk after her brother. "You coming?"

  She moved up beside me, and I could tell from the tension in her shoulders that she was reading into my comments.

  "What's the matter?" She pulled me to a stop and forced me to face her.

  "I'm tired. I worked my ass off all day and tried to hurry, which left me a little more put out than I thought it would." I shrugged and looked around her, not sure why I felt the need to be a dick, but I did. "It's all good."

  "Okay," she mumbled as she fell in behind me.

  I should have stayed at home after talking to Brian. I couldn't shake the thought of her being with someone else and yet to ask her would have me looking needy and childish. She'd already mentioned that her life wasn't going to be in Colorado and that we were strictly going to remain friends. I just needed to lean on that and stop pushing in the other direction.

  Parker turned as I walked up beside him and smiled. "Hurry up and scoot over. I haven't waxed mine, either."

  Chloe walked past us and left the building, moving toward the lift with her skis in her hands.

  "What's that about? She okay?" Parker glanced from Chloe to me.

  "Yeah, absolutely." I shrugged and worked on getting my board ready.

  "Don't hurt my sister. I know you're the big shit around here, which is totally cool, but she's not just another notch on your belt. Understood?" I had to give the kid the respect he deserved for having the balls to stand up to me like that. I would have done it for my sister, too, if I had one.

  "Hell, yeah. I hear you loud and clear." I winked and turned back to the task at hand. "Question for you, you know, in the hopes of not having my heart crushed...she got a boyfriend?”

  Parker looked like he was thinking about whether to be truthful or not. "Why does it matter?"

  "Because it does." I stood to my full height and looked down at him.

  "Yeah, she does. They've been dating forever. He's headed to the NFL next year." He shrugged, took his board and headed for the door. "She's just a friend to you, right?"

  "Yep. Just skiing buddies. She's not interested in anything else. I just didn't know why. Now, I do." I smiled as my heart broke in my chest.

  She had lied to me, but why?

  "Cool." He walked out and put his arm around Chloe's shoulders.

  I finished up and walked out behind them, slipping on a tight facade. I would have fun with them as friends, and then I was done. My heart was already too wrapped up, and it was my own fucking fault. Chloe wasn't to blame. I was. She had been clear with her intentions.

  "You guys ready?" I glanced toward Chloe and smiled. "You sure you don't want to try one of these babies? They're so much fun."

  She gave me a tight smile, still upset about our conversation. "No, but thanks."

  Parker helped her up onto the lift and took the seat next to her, which was fine with me.

  I waved at them and winked at her. "I'll catch you at the top." I waited until the next one came and sunk down into it.

  The wind and snow blew around me as I tried hard to pull myself out of the slump I was diving into. This was a good thing. It was the caution tape being resurrected. She was off limits, and even though she was starting to open up to me, it would only lead to her cheating on her boy and hating herself.

  She wasn't the type of woman who wanted to cheat; she'd made that clear. I could respect that and would just back off. Besides... I was a man whore. All the lovey-dovey shit I was starting to feel was incredibly uncomfortable if I really thought about it.

  I dropped off the lift and moved beside them before glancing around. "There's two hard slopes and an easy one."

  "I'm going to focus on the easy one for a little while to see if I remember how to do this." Chloe turned and walked toward it.

  "I'll go with you, sis," Parker called after her, but I caught his arm.

  "No, I'll go. I need to talk to her for a minute, anyway. You get on the hard one and show me some shit. Seriously. I'll be watching from the side." I smiled and Parker looked at Chloe, then back to the new hill.

  "You sure?"

  "Yeah. Get to it." I pushed at his shoulder and he turned, moving quickly to the starting line.

  I jogged toward Chloe and stopped beside her. "Hey."

  "Hey." She glanced over at me and moved to a bench to tighten her skis.

  "Sorry about earlier. I'm just tired. Forgive me?" I smiled and touched her shoulder, not wanting the nasty energy between us to continue. I could have fun for a few weeks off and on with her—I'd just treat her like Brian.

  "Already done." She gave me a sad smile, and I knew it was a lie.

  "Chloe." I reached for her, but she moved, getting up and heading toward the mountain.

  She paused and looked back, as if she knew things were ending between us before they even began. "Are you still coming over tonight?"

  "I can't," I lied. "Something has come up with my dad. Rain check?"

  "Absolutely." She nodded, her beautiful face expressionless.

  If I thought my heart had shattered over finding out that she was still with her man, I had no clue what I was talking about. It hurt so much worse standing there, watching her hurt.

  Why did she want me in her life if someone already had the spot I wanted so badly?

  She didn't seem like the kind of woman to play around with someone’s emotions, so what the fuck was happening?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chloe

  "That was a blast!" Parker yelled after we'd been on the slopes for more than two hours. We all met back up at the bottom, the guys breathless from trying to outdo each other.

  Something was bothering Finn, but instead of talking to me about it, he slammed a door in my face. It hurt way more than it should, and I was at a loss as to what to do about us. The friendship thing was a rouse, and we both knew it. I wanted more and he did, too…or he used to. After our afternoon avoiding each other, I wasn't so sure anymore.

  "I have to get to the front of the lodge." Parker glanced down at his watch. "My friend's dad is supposed to pick me up here in twenty minutes."

  "Well, go and I'll see you tomorrow." I reached out and ruffled his hair.

  He jerked back and glanced around. "sis...shit."

  I laughed, and Finn joined me.

  "Be lucky you have a sister that loves you." Finn turned to me and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

  "Speaking of..." Parker took my attention for a minute more. "You going to be okay at home alone tonight?"

  "Yeah. I'm good." I crossed my arms over my chest as he gave me a look. "Honestly. I'm a grown-ass woman."

  Finn laughed again. "I'll be at her beck and call should something happen."

  "Alright. Call if you need me." Parker looked around before giving me a quick hug.

  I watched him go. Finn had been a dick most of the day, and after the night before, I was considering giving up my life just to see where our love affair might go. There was no reason to dream about it now, though. I was like every other girl... a one-night stand. Our date just didn't include sex.

  I slipped my hands in my back pockets. "Thanks for the afternoon. Take care."

  "Chloe." He reached for me, but I didn’t let him touch me.

  I turned and walked quickly toward the car, losing my balance, but catching myself, thankfully. I piled my stuff in the trunk and turned in time to see him running toward me.

  "Wait. Wait." He moved up as I closed the trunk, and the first tear dripped onto my cheek.

  "No. I don't want to wait. I want to go home. Obviously whatever was happening between us was something I
made up. Call me an idiot and let's be done with this." More tears—fucking embarrassing.

  "Baby." He reached out and grabbed my shoulder, not giving me much room to pull back. "Look, I just...I..."

  "You nothing. That's what. We had our one-night stand. Thanks for it. It was fun. I almost thought something was happening, but I was wrong. Just the excitement of the chase. Once that's over, there's really no point in anything else." I pulled away from him and walked to my side of the car, getting in.

  "Chloe."

  I let out a slow breath and rolled the window down. "What?"

  "I'm sorry. It's not what you think." He reached into the car and brushed his fingers over my arms.

  "It's not you being a total jerk to me?" I tilted my head and let my confusion bleed across my face.

  "Come to dinner with me, and I'll explain. Please." His handsome face was filled with sadness, and I couldn't say no. As much as I hated it, I was falling in love with him.

  "Fine, but drive your own car. I don't want to be stranded somewhere with you when this conversation blows up. I've done nothing to deserve your attitude, but I'm willing to hear you out simply because of how great yesterday was." I looked back at the snowy parking lot in front of me, not wanting to look at him anymore. "Where are we going?"

  "You know where Jerry's is?"

  "Yep. See you there." I rolled up the window, and he jerked back, cursing at me for catching his arm. He had some explaining to do—not that it would matter to much what his excuses were. I could feel the protective wall already starting to come back up. It was icy cold, and I hated it, but since my mother died, it was the only thing that left me able to cope.

  I had thought maybe it was time to open up, to share myself with someone. It seemed so natural with Finn, like fate put us together as a gift for persevering through so many hardships.

  Obviously, I was wrong.

  * * * *

  "I love this place. My dad and I used to come here when I was little and Mom was out of town." Finn sat down across from me, looking much more like the fun-loving guy that rolled around in the snow with me yesterday.

  "What's going on? I'm not in the mood to bullshit around. I was excited about this afternoon and have been waiting all day to see you, and you show up and treat me like one of your has-beens. Why?" Tears swam in my eyes again.

  I pulled my arms off the table as he reached across to touch me.

  "Chloe. Please, don't cry. You're killing me. Seriously."

  "You have three minutes to tell me what's up, and then I'm out of here."

  The waitress interrupted with a smile on her face. "Can I get you kiddos a drink?"

  "Coke," I mumbled and picked up the menu and subsequently a napkin to wipe my eyes.

  "I'll have the same. Can we get some house chips, too?" Finn's voice was soft and left me wanting to look up and watch him for a minute.

  I wanted to crawl into his arms and make the feeling that we were over before we started go away.

  I glanced up. "What happened? Did you find another friend that fits your needs better than me? Was it because I didn't spend the night?"

  His face grew red as he leaned in and barked at me between clenched teeth. "I'm not the man you think I am. I'm not looking for another girl to screw. Stop acting like I'm trash, or I'll get up and walk out of this place and whatever was happening between us can go to hell."

  I nodded and put my menu down. I was leaving. Dad could keep his money, and Finn could keep his heart. I didn't want either.

  "Finn Warner! Oh my goodness." A bombshell blonde with huge breasts slid into the booth across from me and wrapped Finn in a side hug, kissing his cheek several times before he could push her off.

  I should have gone, but the sadist in me needed to see him push another woman off, a woman who he had no clue of who she was or what her name was. It would remind me what a piece of trash he was when I was lamenting in my bed later that night.

  Wow. How quickly had things gone from good to really bad?

  "Kari..."

  He knew her name. My eyebrow rose, and I turned to the girl, who completely ignored me as if I wasn't there.

  "Finn. What are you doing here? I thought you were traveling to see family." She finally glanced my way and smiled. "Hey. I'm Kari."

  "I'm Baby. Nice to meet you." I extended my hand and shook hers as I pinned Finn with a stare.

  "Kari is a friend from a long time ago, Chloe." He let out a sigh and pushed at her a little. "Scoot over."

  "I'm his girlfriend from high school. We keep in touch," she said. She wagged her eyebrows at me, and I pursed my lips as bile rose in my throat.

  "That's awesome. Finn and I are just skiing buddies."

  "Is that what you're calling it now? Skiing?" She laughed loudly.

  "No, literally. Just friends. Like no sex, nor the promise of it." I shrugged and lifted my eyebrows at her, hoping to shock the hell out of her.

  I pulled up my phone and laughed. "Oh, damn. Looky there. Something has come up. I have to go, but guess what, Kari, it's your lucky day, hun. You can have my seat. You guys catch up and do what you do when you get together."

  I got out of the booth and walked to the door. I made it outside before he caught up with me and pulled me back.

  "What the hell was that?" He was pissed.

  I slapped him, hard. "That was me saying goodbye. Fuck off and find someone else to play with. I'm done."

  "You mean you're not available." He tightened his grip on me.

  "Let me go, Finn. I have no clue what you're talking about."

  "Sure, you don't." He released me. "Brian told me about your boyfriend back home, Chloe. I thought maybe you'd lied to him, but then Parker told me it was true. When was I going to find out? Or was I not going to? I mean, really, does that make me the whore? Or you?"

  His words were a harder slap than my hand hitting his face would ever be.

  "I broke up with Seth before leaving California because there was nothing left between us. I prayed for a brown-haired boy with warm eyes and a big heart." Tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Someone that needed my love and would help me heal past becoming cold toward life. I thought I found him, but I was wrong."

  I turned and jogged to my car as the world seemed to crash in around me. I had pinpointed exactly why Finn was so important. Somewhere deep inside of me where the crazy idea of true love existed, I thought maybe he was my someone.

  I pulled out of the parking lot and drove home crying over the fear of having to grow up and the anxiety of not being enough for my father. My heart broke over Finn thinking that I was the type of woman that would cheat on someone, and yet I realized how stupid I was being. He didn't know me.

  "It's been a few weeks. Pull it together." I drove up to the house and turned the engine off before letting my head drop back and closing my eyes.

  It had been so long since I'd felt the pain of loss that it was almost a welcomed reminder that I was alive. It didn't take more than a few minutes to understand why people protected themselves. It was necessary to survive in a world where people took and took and took and rarely gave.

  My phone buzzed, and I picked it up.

  Jessie: You're on my mind. I miss you. You okay?

  Me: Just got my heart broken, but other than that...I'm good.

  Jessie: By Seth?

  Me: No, a guy out here who's my dream guy.

  The phone rang, which scared the hell out of me. I answered it and sat back, knowing Jessie would want details.

  "What the hell? I told you that you were going to meet him. I'm psychic. I knew it!" Her voice was full of excitement, which was a little odd after my confession.

  "Yeah, you're right. He's out here, and he's a total ass."

  "Well, that part’s not good. I thought maybe it was Seth."

  "No. We broke up when I left. Besides, I think he's already moved on. He's not texting at all anymore, which is good. He can be someone else's problem."

  "So, about that..
." Jessie stopped, and realization rolled over me.

  She was Seth's someone. That's why she kept asking about him and nudging me toward finding someone else.

  Right. When it rains it pours.

  I hung up without another word and turned my phone on silent. Surely, my dad had a liquor cabinet. If not, I could call a cab and head back down to the club. The cute bartender would serve me beer and peanuts all night, no doubt.

  Numbness settled over the center of me, and I walked into the house and slammed the door behind me.

  "Chloe?" My father's voice scared me, and I jumped.

  "Dad?" I pulled myself together and walked into the kitchen to find him standing over a bottle of rum.

  "Yeah. I canceled the trip. Sorry if you'd planned for a wild party. Consider it ruined." He gave me a smile.

  I sat down at the bar across from him and nodded at the bottle. "Got an extra glass?"

  "You've been crying...why?" He got out the glass and sat it in front of me.

  "Where do I start?" I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

  "From the beginning?" He poured me a drink and filled his back up. "Tell me all about it."

  "Let's see...my best friend back at home is dating my ex-boyfriend. Mind you, we just broke up the day I came here. I assume they were sleeping together before now. Things happened too fast for something to not have been up." I took a drink as my father nodded.

  "Yes. I've had that done to me, and I've done it to a few friends. People are dicks. It's a common trait among most of us." He took a drink, too.

  "Right. I'm scared shitless that after all the time and energy that I've put into my degree that I'll end up with nothing, being nothing." I took another drink. "I don't want to let you down, but I don't want to let me down, either."

  "I don't see that future at all for you, but I understand your fears. I've had them for my own life."

  "When you were a kid?"

  "No. When your mother died. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but I figured it out. You will, too." He reached over and touched my cheek. "You're going to be incredible at anything you do because you’re brilliant and you’re passionate. It's a winning combination."

  "I've fallen in love with someone since coming here, and he broke my heart tonight." I finished the liquor and let out a growl. "It's been like nine days or something, and I've never felt like this before. I don't love easily, and I've promised myself never to love deeply, and yet..."